FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

curly I hear you about the car, I like my Saab but it's only 3-door - on the way to the docs the other week I spied a Vulva estate for a mere 3500, blue, leather interior, big enough to pull a trailer, 5-door, etc., etc. But... just don't have the cash right now and I fear the road tax would be deathly. Friend at stables is paying 2k a year road tax for a 4x4 - the Dutch like to tax. Maybe in the new year, right now because he's little it's easy enough getting him and out of the car - once he starts wriggling with vigour I will need to be able to yank open the back doors to shout at him!

iggy Sorry, Bear isn't a screamer. :( (:) for me obviously). I'll get it in the neck with the next one I'm sure.

cunty Your holiday pics were beautiful - that's one thing I really, really do miss about the UK - the stunning scenery.

iggy I too am addicted to babyclothes. Not at first because he didn't fit in to anything, but now... He has a hand-knitted cardi which is sooooo cute. Too hot here for outfits though - 25 degrees and 90% humidity - poor little chap was sweating yesterday. :(

Jabs on monday here - am not really looking forward to that at all, however once done I'll be happy to take him swimming. Too many nasty bugs at public swimming pools.

iggs let me look at the Cuntryfile weather forecast later and we'll fix a day. Am free all next week I think

Gals - can we talk Isofix bases?! Just been to Halfords to buy the base and get it fitted. Now our wagon has the Isofix system is place however I iz confuggled. In order for the base to click in to the car's system you have to take the frigging seat out!!!! Ridiculous. Your experiences pls to tell.

we don't use the base, silv, just seat with seatbelt, so sorry I can't help.

er .. don't think so silv. you should just be able to slot it in if the isofix thingymagigs are already in the motor.

should be pretty easy.

see

i love the kiddicare demo laydee

admittedly ours haven't made it in the car yet (most spectacularly frivolous overspend so far ) but the shopman did show us too.

i've just been checking out the yellow submarine maclarens. bit over the top you think girls?

cheggs indeed the car already has the system but when the man tried to fit it the bits wouldn't line up so he said to take the seat out. Now Him Indoods wants me to go to the garage to get them to feel sorry for me and to take a look as to why it's not doing as if should.

The video is grand. Will show Him that!!! Thank yoos.

Have done far too much today and am now truly in the wars. I ache, rattle and roll.

silv Halfords advertise free fitting so by rights you can keep going back and insisting they fit it properly for you.

How's it going cheggs?

ski We are such a cliche here for cars. A nice but old Land Rover for Mummy and a Volvo estate for Daddy. Def recommend the Volvo if you are thinking of it - it is very whizzy and has six gears!

How long does baby brain last? I was due to visit a friend at 2 pm yesterday, and at 2:30 I was sitting at home thinking 'I wonder time I should leave here to get to hers by 2'. Luckily she also has a baybee so just laughed at me when I turned up over an hour late. Idiot.

lol at lateness FP!

silv have a nice rest this weekend to recover.

As usual for my mat leave, at 7 this morning it was beautiful blue sky and sunshine and no breeze. Now it is grey and windy. Thanks Mr Weather organiser.

silver, I'm with curly on the povvo stakes - the cheapy seatbelt one here too!

I may be going further mad, but are any of your baybees growing out of their maxi-cosis? I can't help but feel Bear is not quite fitting it right and actually I'm kind of nervous about my long drive on Tuesday because sometimes his neck gets quite "bent" and I don't like that.

fanny I'd love a new car but right now don't have the cash - simple as that. :)

I had a lovely evening out with the girls. I've not been on my bicycle since before I got pregnant. Stopped at the off-license for essentials and pumping up of tires. Got rip-roaringly drunk and gossiped lots with a FESH who's 37 and has two under 2 - and is a career woman whose husband is the "trailing spouse" (love meeting expat women like that)! Then met another girl who laid her baybee 7 weeks ago and went back to the UK to do so - apparently she didn't want to do it here because she had a mc last summer and the Dutch "didn't give her enough support" - not quite sure what that means. Anyway, the cycle home was twice the distance as I zig-zagged my way across the cycle lanes. Lay down on the sofa as I didn't want to sleep in the bedroom and breathe fumes all over Bear (very paranoid about SIDS Right now :( ), threw up, passed out - apparently jailbait came in at 3 for a feed and I went "Beeeeaaaaarrr" and carried on snoring. Have downed painkillers and at some point will remove my make-up.

n.b., 4 people last to leave the party were the 4 mums with the youngest baybees...

squeaks slept through last night. but i am now paying the price

might resurface later

Sounds like a great night Ski. Has your maxicosi got a wedge shaped cushion under Bear's bum? Ours had one that I had to take out quite early as Boo was so long, and like Bear, her neck looked all bent over.

Am currently at the park with the dawg. Sitting on park bench. Having an emotional day. Nothing is going right and Him Indoors is at fault. Clearly.

I am sick and fucking tired of picking up after him. Yes he works hard, yes he is tired, yes without him doing so much we would prob be in the gutter BUT I seem to be going round in circles picking up shoes/ clothes / sweet wrapperS / coinage. It's frigging boring!!!!!!

Today I am not liking him. He is making my job tougher. How am I supposed to make headway at home when before I can do that I am tidying up after him. Prime example letter opened and left where he opened it and will no doubt stay there til it a) rots b) magically files itself. AIBU? Think I care? No.

Polly Thank you for the tip! I shall check it out (it's downstairs in the car right now). He is very long so that will hopefully help.

silver You will locate your spiritual sisters here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1029526-in-being-fed-up-that-I-m-the-one - note, cunty and I have already ranted!

Within 30 minutes of getting up this morning I'd given the baby a bottle, put away dry clothes, hung up wet load, put another load in, tidied changing table, re-filled dog's water bowl - and all before I'd had a coffee. In the proceeding 4 hours, his Lordship had watched 163 episodes of shite on the discovery channel. :( And eaten a packet of Peppa Pigs[sic].

Fanks ski. Will have a read. Can't stop the waterworks today. The icing on the cake was the shitting washing line breaking on me whilst I was hanging out stuff. So I reported it to the man ofthe house and was told no problem will fix it. Then he delivered the killer blow "when I get a chance" which basically means probably next blooody summer.

Meltdowns just don't suit me. Have had diet coke, sliced melon, crisps and choc to calm myself. Appears to be working. I am now sat on my fat ass watching tv a la "he can bog off if i am doing anything else today".

Hom is DIYing. He has removed the stair carpet and by the sounds of things has demolished the solid wood bannisters in prep for some spindles being inserted. Lots of noise, drowning out F1 qualifying

HI everyone! Haven't been around for ages mostly due to having the same variety of baybee as iggs. Comma will cry if put down which makes life pretty tough. We're finding workarounds but it's knackering us both and is very wearing.

Fortunately, being a lavender-fields kind of gal I'm happy to baby carry a lot but it's hard to really do stuff like popping onto here.

He's very sicky and we've thought maybe reflux. We tried Gaviscon and it seemed to help but now I'm not at all sure. I'm starting on a dairy-free diet to see if that helps to settle him. There's a strong line of dairy intolerance in our family so I thought I would give it a try (this is one reason why formula was only going to be an option if there was literally no other way of feeding him).

He has started smiling more though which is adorable!

Camping was ace, but exhausting. I'm used to doing lots of stuff and we just ended up sitting around doing nothing. We gave LC a walkie-talkie and let him loose in the very large camp site, playing with the other kids who were there, and it worked really well.

Nice day today. We walked down the canal path behind our house to a pub on the canal. Lc cycled and YOB and I shared cycling with pushing the pram. Comma slept most of the time, just a feed while there, which was a real surprise as normally he considers the pram "being put down" so I take a carrier just in case. I think he likes being outdoors and I'm going to try to start a routine of taking hinm for a walk in the morning with the dog, and getting us both out for some fresh air!

ski I texted you before calling not wanting to disturb you. Are you ahead or behind us?? I didn't see your email till we got back as I sent the text when we were on hol.

I was going to tell you about an amusing thing which happened. On day 2 of the camping I heard the following convo from the next door tent:

Teenager 1: "Did you see that woman on the beach today? She WHOPPED out her boob and fed her baby!!!"
Mother: "What's wrong with that? If the baby needed feeding..."
Teenager's Girlfriend: "I though that!"
Teenager's sibling: "Shhh! She's in the next door tent!!".

Cue embarassed silence and YOB and I trying not to giggle!

For the record, no whopping was involved! I was wearing a nursing top and being discrete - unlike the topless sunbathers. But I suspect it didn't sound so good if he said I'd carefully opened my top and discreetly fed my baby!

Hi rots!

re the teenager. The friend I visited yesterday has bottle fed both hers, so when I was (discreetly) feeding Clyde her 4 year old kept asking me where the milk was coming from. I just kept saying "from inside me". My friend was mortified and kept apologising for him.

We have lots of smiles here too. It's so rewarding isn't it? Clyde also coos and says ah-goo when I sing to him, as if he is trying to sing along! It brings tears to my eyes.

ski I was also going to suggest removing the newborn insert on the maxi cosi and moving the straps up to the next slot. We had to whip out the wedgie quite early on, and he's much more comfy now.

carrots Trouble is, you are not of the teeny-boobed variety. I would've whopped - my boobs are still bigger than Bear's head - there's none of this discrete "nursing top" thing going on where it looks like the baby's getting a cuddle. I look like I've whopped. (and am not comfortable with it, shoot me with Emily Pankhursts breeches if you must... )

I'm an hour ahead of you but I have the sound off on my phone (as it's a work phone) - so I didn't get your message until 11pm my time, which I thought was a bit late to ring you back. But if you fancy a chat sometime let me know. Tuesday is a no-go but every other day is OK this week. We're taking him swimming one day to try out his swim-pants. :) I also got some swim nappies to go on underneath the shorts I bought from your shop - not sure if it's necessary or not...

fanny Well unbeknown to me, jailbait has already moved the straps up and reckons it's good now - but I'm going to keep a close eye on it and it may well be that the wedge has got to go.

You know you're a mummy when you're up at 6:30am on a sunday watching the Wire from the box-set and trying to spoon cake mix in to a loaf tin whilst comforting a baby dressed in lion dungarees!

carrots Bear does very well with the fresh air too - trouble is, jailbait seems to be a bit paranoid about fresh air - e.g., doesn't want me taking him to the stables on my own if I ride. :( Doesn't want me leaving him on his own in the maxi-cosi - erm, is he going to wander off somewhere?

Thanks for the Maxi Cosi discussion! I thought Squeaks looks uncomfy, but then thought that as some babies are born her size, maybe the newborn seat is supposed to be like that, and might not be safe if I remove the cushion. But with the assurance that others do it, I will give it a try. Don't want her neck squished as it is already getting nappy rashy under her many chins.

Today I am mostly furious with my far from dear other half. Visitors last night. I had to hit the sack early knowing Squeaks would be up early, and he assured me he would not be too late. I eventually pretty much broke up the noisy party myself at 2am . He was bollocksed. I even considered not letting him in my bed, but that might have led to carnage in another room. Of course Squeaks was woken up so who knows if she would have managed two nights in a row. BASTARD. There is so much we need to get done today, so he can fuck right off if he wants to watch the grand prix as well.

Oh, and my bottle of gin is out on the dining table, alongside beer, wine and a random bottle of wierdness. Bloody boys.

rots good to hear from you at teenager. Hope you get the reflux issue sorted.

Hope your house is still in one piece cunty.

of ski night out.

Not the gin!? He's gone too far this time!

polly I always love your TG/housework rants - although I think you should've elaborated on his colour-blindness for shock value!

casp at your OH. Did he just forget you have a baby in the house?

My goal today is to leave Clyde with MrP while I take Bonnie to the park. I'm currently trying to express but so far only have 60 ml. I've never yet managed to repeat my first expressing achievement of 90 ml, and I do remember boasting talking about it on here. Serves me right.

I have no idea how much milk I need to leave for him as no idea how much he usually gets out of my udders. I've got 150 ml in total including what's in the fridge. Those who bottle feed, how much do you think he needs for a morning, given that he usually feeds every hour or so? Will that be enough?

I really want to go riding, and am very at ski. But I know that it would set back my SPD recovery if I did. I have heard horror stories of people who were doing fine then did something stupid like that and have subsequently never recovered. Which would mean I could never go riding with Bonnie and Clyde, which would break my heart.

I have to keep thinking about the long term recovery, but oh, it's hard.

I suddenly realised that I've lost it with Comma! LC was on a horse aged 9 days (admittedly he didn't actually take up the reins) and Comma is 8 weeks old tomorrow and has hardly been near one!

ski I have some boobie tops which are not that discreet but are better for nursing in the sling (which open at the breast level). Without the sling I prefer those with a flap that goes down to the bottom of the top like these: www.mummylooksfab.co.uk/Nursing-T-Shirts---Two-pack because I can be totally discreet with them, despite my extensive boobage. The ones which open at the boob level require the nip to be stuck through a hole before plugging in - not something to be done without a bit of a show!

OK re phone :) @ Bear walking off! My concern would be a loose horse sitch but if located safe from that it's a great idea to take him.

@ Mr Casper. Blimey. My YOB left the two of us alone in bed last night as apparently we were both snoring .

fanny you poor thing. How will u know when it's ok to ride?

ski you don't need a sposie nappy under the happy nappy but u can use one if u want to. May make a code P nappy situation easier to deal with.

Look girls, I don't want to appear churlish, but we've been leaving the door open for cosmo and now the weather's turned and it's letting all the expensive heat out . Is it ok to push it to?