Dec 08 Ladies welcome to the new Bean, next stop, Summer.

[Veggiemummy]

Sorry very boring had to think quickly, not my best feature

LadyT it's actually next week that I am not working but am in London. Are you in town at all next week? I could meet any day but Tuesday (when I am working).

Hurrah for getting out so quick rubes!
Glad your dh is ok jam - that sounds very scary.
Beans my ds was like that around the same age withnthe not settling in the evening thing. It used to drive me mad especially as my good friend who lived just round the corner had a dream sleeping Gina ford baby who was always asleep bang on 7. I have to say that I did try to do the afternoon Gina ford timings a bit to try and make sure that he had a big feed at 6 or so and make sure that his last sleep wasn't that late (i think 4 or something). It did used to work sometimes but sometimes i would have the 6-10pm faffing around too. Usually when knackered and desperate for an early night or at Mil's (cue her saying what time will he go to bed - i need to know exactly when to make dinner for, and then saying things like there must be something wrong with my milk supply when he cluster fed all evening, and that i should give him some formula!)
Anyway it did settle down in the end - around 2-3 months i think. I also agree with avo that controlled crying probably works better when they are older - people i know who have had success with it have had babies that couldn't settle themselves back to sleep when waking and this is more relevant when they are 6 months plus i think. At your dd's age i think feeding to sleep and not being able to fully self settle is normal.
Where is this blooming baby! I know i officially have 1 week to go but i am already getting impatient. Cannot believe I could be waiting 2 weeks plus still!!!

Oh and waiting girl and mom i hope you feel better soon. I remember feeling exactly the same and i was despondent at the thought that it might not get better in the second trimester but it did!

Bloody hell Rubes, great going on getting out so quick!

Jam, that all sounds quite scary! Glad he is okay though.

Avo, I have cuuningly blocked access to MN via the parental control thing. I am the administrator so I have to enter a password each time I use it Although I have to say he is good at the moment - much more like his old self. I have told him that I don't regret a thing I wrote at the time. It was how I felt. I thing he realises now just how self aborbed he'd been (well a bit anyway).

Summer, sending vibes for an early arrival. I remember with both my pg's I was hoping the baby would appear from about 37 wks!

SL - keep hoping - Pru was 5 days early... Will keep fingers crossed. But not my legs. HAH. Until DH gets home, then I'll cross them. hahahah!

Am posting at work (although technically should obviously be at home) so will be quick. Beans your post took me right back to how difficult those first weeks/months can be. I had forgotten. What we eventually did with DD - who was an entirely different propostion to DS - was give up and have her downstairs with us in the evenings.

I used to keep one end of the room dark, and put her in the carry cot thing from the P&Ts so when she wasn't feeding she was still with us but not so much that I didn't feel I didn't have any adult time. We also used white noise a lot. And actually when we were at other people's houses used to put her in front of the tumble drier (ours is in an outhouse so would have been a little cruel). That babysleepnoise thing was a godsend though (thanks spot again ). The other thing I did was decide that it was such a short period of time I wasn't going to give too much of a stuff about not having a routine (thanks mainly to DH pointing out I was being a bit of a nutter), and actually she got there quite quickly becuase you're already set into a rhythm with your DC1 so eventually she'll just slot in.

And it does get easier at 3 months. I don't know about you but becuase I was so fixated on making sure that DS was ok after she was born that I bearly spent any time of the day with DD - so looking back now I think very fondly of those evenings with her being with us (and the sound of a car cruising on a freeway ).

But the last thing you need is rosy baby goggles from me. It can be very hard, and utterly draining. Go easy on yourself - it does take time. And carrycot, whitenoise and not really caring about baths for a bit is the best advice I have.

Rubes so lovely to hear from you.

And Jam - crikey that sounds scary. Glad all ok now.

Aaargh. busted. And now someone at work knows I mumsnet. Better go.

Beans you crack me up!

Summer I hope things get moving soon. You must be so impatient! How is DS about the impending arrival? Do you think he 'gets it'?

Deidre so glad things are better on the marital front, you sound much happier. Hooray!

WG the plan is to meet this Thurs at Borough Market at about 11ish. Down so far are me, Effie and Pingu. You up for it? Would be tres lovely to see you.

Mom you are v brave, but I'm sure everything will be fine. And even if it's a nightmare, it's a matter of hours, compared to weeks at the other end. And on the return leg DS will have already done it once so will be more familiar. Good luck though!

Rubes I am so impressed at your MNing so many hours after birth. You've set the bar very high! How has DS been with the arrival of his new little sister?

I had a lovely night on Sunday in the hotel on my own (even had a three course meal in the restaurant!), and it wasn't even that pricey. Think I might try and repeat it again before DC2 comes along. I also had plenty of time to think, and have come to the conclusion that if DP is so unhappy here then I'm willing to up sticks back to London. My only proviso is that he somehow magic a three bed place in North London that we can afford, but I figure there's no point staying here even if I've made good friends if he's spending the whole time with a face like a wet weekend. I'm going to need a lot of support when DC2 comes along, and he's going to be in a better space to give it if he's happy. At least that's what I'm gonna put to him tonight. Will update later.

Evening all,

I've only had the most scant look at what I've missed, DH wants me to go and listen to records with him, how DARE he .

Many congratulations rubes! What a beautiful name.

And please excuse the me news but I got the job! Hurrah! So thanks again for all the fashion advice.

Right, will be back tomorrow to catch up properly on all the news. Byeeeeee

jolly well done you on getting the job What is it? When do you start? Hope you're enjoying some old 45s!
urbane are you in trouble for getting busted? Hope not!
spot your hotel night sounds wonderful. And great that you've had a bit of head space too. It can help to just get perspective on things can't it? Hope it goes down well with DP. It's a hard balance - on the one hand not being a doormat and asserting your independance and 'rights' in the relationship, but on the other hand being able to compromise and sacrifice stuff for the sake of the relationship. I have a friend (she's single) who's very fixed about what she would or wouldn't do for a husband, and I've tried to explain that you have to make allowances and tailor your own desires/dreams/ whatever (but not lose them) to fit with each other if you want it to work. I'm waffling now - but what I'm saying is that if you decide to move back to London, I don't think you or anyone else should see it as 'giving up' or letting dp 'rule' about it, but rather I see it as a really positive sign of the strength of your relationship and that you can see how much his happiness is vital for your whole family. waffle waffle. sorry!
I've got my next physio appointment to get my fanny muscles checked tomorrow. I got a call from the gp receptionist today saying that my swab from last week confirms I have got thrush, so they've done me a prescription for cream and pessary. The thing is, after seeing the nurse last week she was pretty sure it was thrush so I just went and got stuff over the counter and it has helped a lot but it's still not quite right, so do you think it's alright to get the prescription and use a 2nd pessary or should I ask a doc first?
sybs what's the plan for your sofa to 5k? How much are you doing? I must exercise. I'm feeling sluggish and have gained some inches and wobbly bits, but I can't see to make time to do anything about it. I either have the kids, which means I can't go off on a bike ride or run, or in an evening if dh is in and I could go, I'm so knackered that I can't be bothered to go. Lazy Moo. I need a kick up the bum.
well DH has gone to the pictures and I'm pooped so think I'll have an early night.
xxx

what do you think of this property?
(I am going to bed really...just got distracted!)

Congratulations Rubes, and welcome to the thread (and of course the world) Alexandra.

And also congratulations on the job Jolly, that is great news.

Will catch up properly tomorrow, must sleep right now. Lots of love xx

Just zooming on on my phone whilst in bed - wanted to say YAY to JB about the job, clever girl. To Spot, that sounds really positive. Trying ideas on for size is good, as is recognising that often, no solution is perfect for all parties all the time. Trace speaks massive sense -I agree with wot she says. Sorry about the thrush. I think go for it with the pessaries if they are helping. This to Katie too - would oral probiotics help too? Or is that crazy? I always used to buy them from Holland & Barrett if I ever had to take antibiotics. Dash it, Avo, I'm not in town next week, I don't think. Good job I'm at Mum's for MIL's visit - apparently he told her and her DH, his stepfather, to go home this evening as there was a bit of a disagreement. Sounds v awkward. Gah, hope I have a good night's sleep tonight. Know I shan't! Bladder won't make it through the night at this stage of pregnancy.

Hooray on the job, jolly, well done!

Oh and I forgot to say great news on the cruising, LT, she'll be having you chasing after her in no time!

Well I put my proposal to DP last night and he was quite surprised and said he'd been thinking of ways of coming to terms with the fact we'd be here for good! So basically we've decided to keep looking in both places. If something we like the look of and can afford comes up in London, we'll go for that, and vice versa for here. But otherwise we'll stay put here until the baby's born so no great pressure to rush things. So even though nothing appears to have changed, things feel a lot better and more equal now, which is great. You're so right, Trace, sometimes just the gesture of compromise is enough. And maybe if DP feels free to choose, he might even actively choose here rather than feel railroaded against his will.
Any rate, he's off to Amsterdam for 3 days today, so time for some strong coffee to get a handle on the day ahead.

Spot, that's brilliant, as neither side is digging in. Sounds like a v realistic plan, too. Oh burger, I'm going back to Oxfordshire on Thurs and DP is going away Thurs night until Sun, but the outlaws want to hang around for a day or two to see DD. They are even worse when I'm alone with them! Eek! I could scream! And they will spend the whole time moaning about DP, post his row with them - I bet.

Oh LT that's crap. Any chance you could suddenly invent a forgotten plan that takes you away from their clutches? (such as a trip to Brighton, hint, hint??)

Hello everyone,

Thanks for the congrats. I start next week so it has all worked out very well. trace It is a University research job. I don't want it to be googable but the projects are in the general area of people with l e a r n i n g d i s a b i l i t i e s and health i n e q u a l i t i e s. Hope that's not too hard to read, it is a small research area and I don't want to out myself.

trace Well done you on joining the singing group. It sounds great! House looks gorgeous too, are you still thinking of moving? I'd double check with your GP just to be on the safe side.

deidrie Great to see you back. Glad things are better in your household.

ladyT Hurray for O on the cruising! Super news! Can you not tell MIL as politely as possible that you don't want to get involved in the arguement and to keep her comments to herself?

beans Hang on in there. I think you are doing a great job. Have you tried giving Pru a dummy to help her settle to sleep? I thought they were awful before I had DD but they helped her sleep which was a godsend in the early months. Actually they remain a godsend!

WG On the present front, a weekend away at a spa or something sounds wonderful. Or what about a piece of art or photograph that is for the house rather than a possession just for him?

Right, must do some work. Back later.

I do actually have to get back on Thurs so no escape...and I promise I will be down to Brighton before the summer, and my DD2, is out!

Hey all. Jolly - well done you - great great news - are you v excited and pleased?

Spot - you are a better woman than I on the compromise front - well done you - and seems like it's worked for the best - am so happy for you - yay!

LT - bugger. How annoying. And to have to have them to stay to listen to them slate DP -grrr.

Well, a minor miracle occurred last night - I had bathtime with hardly a tear! DD1 tried to kick off while I went to get DD2 from downstairs, but I put her in her cot so she could scream away, then when I went to get her, she was happy when I picked her up. Did follow advice and let DD1 splash around while I got DD2 ready and similarly when I took DD2 out. I put her in her little bath seat thing and she even smiled while in the bath! And DD1 kept touching her tummy button. Fascinated by it as it's an outy and hers is an inny! All in all, was successful. And DD2 exhausted afterwards to slept from 7.30 - 10.30 when DH fed her! Then up at 2.15 and 6.30. Not bad at all. Hence feeling human today.

Of course, though, she's been a bit of a terror today and has only just gone to sleep apart from the odd 5 mins here and there since 6.30am. But now both asleep and I have some time to myself. Feel a chicken & cheese sandwich coming on....

Pubes - how are you feeling? How is DD doing? I'm so chuffed for you - well done! Keep thinking of you. So many people are having girls!! All my friends are, bar 2 - and that's out of about 12 of us. I think women are taking over the world. About time too. We rock!

xx

PS Have put a few piccies on FB
x

beans - your photos are amazing - and had a peek at your wedding photos, too, you gorgeous thing!

spot - alas, i think i can't come tomorrow. am leading my baby and toddler singing session on fridays and haven't managed to get any rehearsal/learning the songs time, so may have to drive up to dad's to hand madam over while i grab a couple of hours to myself. sorry. wd have LOVED to see you all.

hope pubes is doing well

beans you are so funny...your right though we womenrule the world!

rubes How are you doing? All these new babies are so exciting!!

spot The compromise sounds really good!

Mucho vomming here last night...me and DD. Poor thing was shoved out of the way so I could fight my way past her to gthe bathroom in the small hours. I still feel awful and my head is banging. DD on the other hand appears to have rallied pretty well. How do children do that ??

Thanks WG - can honestly say I looked beautiful at our wedding. Because it doesn't happen every day! Or ever. HAHA!

Oh beans just lookedat your FB photos - what gorgeous girls you have

Ah thanks, Deidre - they're little dudes. Can't help thinking Pru looks a little bit like a bull - but think it's because she seems to flare her nostrils in every photo!

Sure she'll be beautiful one day!

xx

She is beautiful, as is Whizz. If you want a pic of a really funny looking baby, have a squint at mine...