January 2008 Shiny New Year Toddlers -Summer's here and our babes show their butts

[willsurvivethis]

Hello new thread

This is a cry for help, ladies, though I sympathise with your own problems, Simpson, Filly and JKS.

Sabela keeps waking up in the night. She doesn't 'need' anything. She just wants me to sing her back to sleep. I am exhausted. Daniel is waking too and I cannot cope with both of them anymore.

If we leave Sabela (which we haven't in this period of waking so far) she will scream herself sick.

If DH goes she screams until he brings her to me of takes her into bed.

If we take her into either of our beds (and we are still sleeping in separate beds to try and optimise sleep for us both), she will keep us awake all night, poking, stroking and wriggling. She can literally stay awake all night.

I have already dropped her nap. It doesn't seem to make any difference.

Going to nursery all day every day last week and being exhausted made no difference.

I have tried just going with is to reassure her as it has been a stressful time, but it is making no difference.

I really need more than two hours' sleep in a row. What would you do?

DH is going to try CC tonight.

LaT give cc a try - I did it with Nathan when he was just about a year old and it worked a dream.

Just realise that toddlers are resistant to any change that is not of their own making and so Sabela is likely to protest a lot in order to get the status quo restored. So if she cries until she is sick you may have to go in calmly, clean up without saying much, reassure her that you are there and leave again.

It won't last forever but you do need to persist...

JKS - no more spots this morning so I have been very naughty and sent him to school

He has only got about 3 or 4 so will keep an eye on him.

M sleeping been pants too tbh and the last 3 nights she has been talking/singing to herself very loudly at 2am for an hr or two and then waking up and wanting to start the day at 5am

She nearly fell asleep during J's nativity play this morning. Grrrr.

LaT - good luck with tonight.

Nathan seems to have reached a sudden funny stage - he turns away from the telly for random things that seem to scare him, like a big hot air balloon and this morning some army tanks on the news, and he seems to have started having nightmares when he starts crying in total panic in the middle of the night, no sign of falling out or bumping anything and easily soothed with cuddles.

2.30am this morning he was screaming for dh in total panic!

LaT - I second CC the only problem for me is the potential of waking the other child which almost inevitably results in us all sleeping the other way in bed so we can all fit.

Sorry no real contructive advice, just hope it really works for you. Keeping everything crossed.

Thanks all. I know she's been stressed and disrupted, but I am really struggling since the funeral, in no smmall way due to being woken by two children several times a night. I would be exhausted any way. DH is being a star but it is still awful!

LaT - i think you have to look at 'now' as multiple wakings each night with both children to the 'future' when you (ideally) don't wake at all, or maybe just for feeds for D.

To get from here to there you may need to have several nights of bad sleep/hardly any sleep with multiple wakings from both DC, but hey you already have that!

Pick a plan and stick to it, you & DH. Make sure he knows exactly what the plan is, crucial to do the same.
Go in, ssh, settle her, tuck in, etc, no more talking & leave.
Give her progressively longer between 'sshhes'.
Use a kitchen timer if necessary.
Decide you are more stubborn than her, make it mental battle if it helps, 'i will win this, i am the adult, i have more determination' type thoughts.

A sticker chart for S could help as she is bright enough to get the idea.

Or; Say she wakes 10 times a night? you could try the 10 marbles (or something) plan, each time you come into her, she loses a marble. How ever many marbles left by the weekend = pennies/sweeties/etc.
When she wakes, you could even go as far as saying to her, i can come in but you'll lose a marble if i do? not everyone's style but if she's properly awake each time and wants the treat badly enough she may even tell you to go away!

Any of that helpful?

As for D, guessing he's young & could be waking anyway so get her sorted first. He may be being disturbed in which case he may settle once you 'crack' S.

Have a sinus infection so at home alone today.

Filly I hope you are coping OK, and feeling better, I feel your pain with the sinuses! I have to say I think the childminder-slash-au pair plan may be the best way forward? I am so happy with A's childminder - he has a lovely relationship with her but I personally feel that the boundary remains clear and appropriate. Also I know that am lucky that she is very flexible compared to some childminders.

LaT things sound awful, a silly question but is your house warm at night? We have turned the heating up a few notches and I fear our gas bill but I am convinced that as a direct result, A seems to wake so much less than usual if he is warm and cosy! He will now come in and say proudly "I stayed in my bed all night" ! (although he does still often wake for a drink or to go to the toilet which is a trek because he won't use a potty any more and our bathroom is downstairs). He gets up before 6am most days if he sleeps through, though. If you are going to stick out cc I hope you can get some rest in the day, eg take D to bed for the morning if S goes out to nursery?

Hi madmouse. A seemed to have a lot of the fears and nightmares as well a couple of months ago ... I think it is a phase! A lot of them seemed to be animal based! We had scary mouse, scary owl, scary horsie!? [hmm}

LaT never have tried cc tbh and don't think I would want to but I know a few Mums who have and have seen it through with good results. Totaly agree with JKS on th reward chart etc. They totaly work in our house for which ever reason. Especialy as David is now learning the value of money Good luck.
Yes madmouse all my boys went trhough this fase at about this age too. George will often turn away from animal things especialy the tiger advert for wildlife fund thingy. They are learning about being scared basicaly. David would often wake being scared of of his bedtime teddy.
Some good news here today not only has David started his new school this morning but the school have rung to tell us now he is officialy there Edward has gone to the top of the list for nursery and can start in January so that will be the two of them there next year. Yey
We are currently witing for our furniture to be delivered from Argos. Oh boy do I need a wardrobe. It was supposed to be here by 12 Just hope its delivered by 5 or I will not be a happy bunny.

LaT never have tried cc tbh and don't think I would want to but I know a few Mums who have and have seen it through with good results. Totaly agree with JKS on th reward chart etc. They totaly work in our house for which ever reason. Especialy as David is now learning the value of money Good luck.
Yes madmouse all my boys went trhough this fase at about this age too. George will often turn away from animal things especialy the tiger advert for wildlife fund thingy. They are learning about being scared basicaly. David would often wake being scared of of his bedtime teddy.
Some good news here today not only has David started his new school this morning but the school have rung to tell us now he is officialy there Edward has gone to the top of the list for nursery and can start in January so that will be the two of them there next year. Yey
We are currently witing for our furniture to be delivered from Argos. Oh boy do I need a wardrobe. It was supposed to be here by 12 Just hope its delivered by 5 or I will not be a happy bunny.

Thanks for all your advice. DH messed it up last night so I'm taking over tonight. I wish I read about the reward chart earlier and I would have done it. Instead we made a deal that if she sleeps, we'll have lots of fun tomorrow (in fact we have some nice things lined up anyway).

If she slept well next to me she could come in, but she sleeps even worse with me. She's always been like this but much more so recently.

She's very jealous of Danny sleeping int he cot next to me and won't be convinced that he doesn't actually sleep with me. she's seen him sleeping in his cot and feeding in bed with me, but the last image obviously means more to her. She wants to sleep in Danny's cot while he sleeps with me. It would be a solution if I wanted to sleep with Danny, but I don't. And I don't believe she'd sleep either.

Sorry to be all me me me. So tired I can't believe it. Going to bed very soon.

Madmouse - yes Sabela is doing this too. I thikn it is experimenting as Gingeme says but it started at Halloween and she hates all things ghosty. She even hated the pumpkins, so now we have a gime where I pretend not to understand and ask her what other vegetables she is scared of. She loves it. I think it lets her talk about it and laugh too.

Thanks all for support re nightmare nanny situation....it will get better, and I keep telling myself that this precise moment in time (3 under 5, weaning, Tamara ill etc etc) will never be repeated and everything will get easier from here....

I hope!

LaT - I think JKSs suggestions are really sensible. T is definitely suffering from night terrors a bit at the moment (A did at this age) but that involves screaming in her sleep and needing cuddles to wake her up. She is also sleeping less well generally and is prone to shouting in the night for her teddy/a tissue/a drink but she knows this isn't really allowed and her 'punishment' the morning after is not to be allowed into bed with me for a cuddle whilst I'm feeding Mia....odd, but it seems to work for her!

On the whole S knows perfectly well that she shouldn't be shouting in the night, but she's doing it to get attention, and it seems to be working. The whole low-key response, with no discussion, and as little input as possible, whilst massively focussing on praising good behaviour etc might work well? And try to limit discussion of night time behaviour during the day, otherwise that also adds to the whole 'getting more attention for bad behaviour at night' thing.

On the other hand, S has had a lot of change to deal with recently: D arriving, losing her grandpa, all the upheaval of going to stay in Essex and then moving home, etc, so its not surprising that she's a bit out of sorts.

As JKS says, you will need to psyche up for a few really bad nights and stick it out, and also decide that you are going to win this! Good luck :)

Hey Filly - not too long til holidays, how are all the school runs going?

LaT - don't apologise! And there are pros and cons to them sleeping well in your bed. Neither boy has ever slept well in with us, even when ill. This can be a pain but then friends whose DC do sleep in with them, end up with them in their beds for years. I personally prefer my bed to myself - yes even without DH snoring!!

Been to town and got bits done today for birthday party coming up & some Christmas bits, found a great wooden puzzle for H with animals that make sounds when you put the pieces in, have seen them at playgroups but not had one before.
Even better, was free! as MIL bought DH a jumper from TKMaxx that was too small so i took it back, found him a t-shirt, this puzzle & a book for T, fab!

Dealing with them day-to-day, and calling in favours from everywhere, JKS! It sounds silly, but the best thing about T being off nursery has been not having to deal with collecting her at 12.10, slap bang in the middle of Mia's feed....

On the other hand, I am seriously struggling to get anything done - but have just managed to update my CV as I got called about a fairly interesting role....wasn't planning to go back until June and was hoping for 3 days a week, but I reckon this could end up not starting until April/May, and I would go full time if I thought I could downgrade later....maybe....

Sounds exciting Filly

Well, it seems like the 'fun' brobe worked as she didn't wake up at all last night, so lots of praise.

JKS - what you suggested is pretty much what I planned. I may improvise a reward chart just now and use it for tonight. Thanks for that.

She is still being a right little madam today though! We've really hit a patch of 'NOW!' 'NO!'. As you say Filly, it'll be because she's been disrupted. She is also now jealous of D, which also makes sense as I took him and not her with me to the funeral, but sigh....

bribe not brobe

Hi all

I am going slowly mad being shut in the house

I have only done playgroup drop off/pick up for the last 3 days (round corner) and thats it.

J feeling pretty ropey He complains of earache, sore throat etc but no temp at least.

We are down to our last sachet of nurofen but luckily my dad is round tomorrow so I can take DD (she will be in the creche) to my keep fit class.

Cats also getting very low on food

Gingeme - what happened to your argos delivery in the end?

Hey girls, remember me??

Sorry I have been away for so long but time has just flown. After we got back from our hols to Scotland in August I concentrated my energies on losing my baby (and boozing!) weight and now have 1lb to go until I reach my target weight, haven?t weighed this since 2000 and am so much happier!

I have also become a Flybaby and have been fluttering my way to a more organised house, again, that has made me happier!

Aaliyah is doing really well, 18m now and tall, blonde and curly with attitude. Terrible tantrums one day and all smiles the next, typical Gemini! Xavier is 2yrs10m and started nursery last week which is great because he does need the stimulation and the Spanish language skills but I miss him and am sad that the days of two babies at home all day with me the mistress of our days are over, even if they were hard at times. He is playing up a bit at the mo (as those on FB know!) but I guess there is a lot going on in his life at the mo.

How are all of you? No way I can catch up but hope to be back to stay now

LaT ? I am really sorry for your loss you have had so much to deal with these last few years Also sorry to see you are having some issues with S and sleep I can empathise, DD is a terrible sleeper.

JKS ? Congratulations! I would really love to try for a 3rd now but I don?t know how to get DD (now 18m!!) off the breast and nothing is happening in terms of fertility so I think I will have to get tough and find a way to stop ASAP. When are you due?

Simpson ? sorry to hear about the CP seems to be tons about.

Filly ? sounds like a juggling act for you, don?t know how you do it!

Mixedmama ? how are you feeling?

Hey ladies
Welcome back MrsMcJ did wonder where you had been !
Simpson how is J doing? Your so good keeping up with your keep fit.
LaT a whole nughts sleep? Wow lucky you. Bribery can work wonders sometimes can't it
As for the Argos delivery well that didn't happen. It will be delivered tomorrow morning as their was a problem at the warehouse this is a real pain as it means the boys will miss a realy nice Christmas party at our Tuesday playgroup but it does mean we will finaly have a wardrobe
We have a guy here at the moment painting our bedroom as they have finaly removed the hoist
We put up our decs yesterday. We even have some on the outside of the house too which is something Ive wanted to do for 12 years
David has a terrible cough at the moment but decided he still wanted to go to school today. He has his Christmas disco on Thursday. A late night for him 5-7.30
Well thats about it from the gingeme household.
Keep warm and well xx

Hey ladies
Welcome back MrsMcJ did wonder where you had been !
Simpson how is J doing? Your so good keeping up with your keep fit.
LaT a whole nughts sleep? Wow lucky you. Bribery can work wonders sometimes can't it
As for the Argos delivery well that didn't happen. It will be delivered tomorrow morning as their was a problem at the warehouse this is a real pain as it means the boys will miss a realy nice Christmas party at our Tuesday playgroup but it does mean we will finaly have a wardrobe
We have a guy here at the moment painting our bedroom as they have finaly removed the hoist
We put up our decs yesterday. We even have some on the outside of the house too which is something Ive wanted to do for 12 years
David has a terrible cough at the moment but decided he still wanted to go to school today. He has his Christmas disco on Thursday. A late night for him 5-7.30
Well thats about it from the gingeme household.
Keep warm and well xx

Fingers X for argos delivery today gingeme

DD started puking on sat and so I had 2 sick children

At one point I was upstairs with M as she was being sick in the bath & J on floor downstairs sobbing because he felt so ill

Luckily M's sickness seemed to be a 24hr thing and she has been fine since & has gone to her playgroup Xmas party today.

J still bad though Although he is getting off sofa to play with toys a bit but he is absolutely covered in spots and still complaining of sore throat/ear ache etc.

Hi to mrs Mc

Yey we have furniture even if some of it is still flatpacked

Yey we have furniture even if some of it is still flatpacked