April 2009 - Episode 13 - 'I've been looking for the exit for months!'

[Schulte]

Fanjo Warriors, here we are

where is the exit please???

Well, after 6 years DH has finally started sorting out the garage.

There was a lot of junk and tat, really, but tell me why oh why he felt the need to store 10 fake ears and 4 fake noses in there, for example?

That having been said, we spent the evening putting them on surrepitiously to catch the other person by surprise, and they do indeed make us look like very funny Orks. I suggested he wears a set to the head of departments' meeting on Monday. Hohohohoho!

I might lecture with a set on as well ...

Oh Schulte so sorry about the house hell.

at fake ears and noses, Boff. We did find we were storing two viking helmets and some assorted scandinavian flags a few weeks ago. But they will come in handy I'm sure...

E has another hearing test today - cue complete uninterest from him, or possibly being asleep, since they let me hand pick my appointment for his "most alert time." He's also come out in eczema I think it is on his face and it won't go away. He's so beautiful but looks awful at the moment. Will have to go to the docs.

How is H today Schulte?

Boff - Is your DH a rubbish secret agent perhaps?

Oh crap Schulte, I just read your thread. So sorry.
I hope H is feeling better?

It's no consolation but you are welcome here any time. It's a small garden but big enough for little ones to run about in.

Schulte - only just saw what happened any updates today? Bloody bastards. Will keep my fingers crossed for you. Is H feeling better?

Surprise - congrats to your sister

I'm in 2ww hell - keep fingers crossed that I get two lines this month otherwise I might just disappear in a cloud of obsession (not the perfume).

Keeping fingers crossed for you Bicnod.

Hazel is better thank you. House... no news. Bastards indeed.

Thanks Puzzle we might come to inspect your garden some time soon

MrsG sorry to hear about eczema. My latest wonder weapon is Weleda Baby Calendula Cream. I have been using loads on H's legs but apparently you're not supposed to use a tube a week so must cut down a bit.

Boff your fake noses and ears made me laugh. I hope you kept them, they may be useful for all sorts of things!

We have kept the fake noses and ears and we are thinking about wearing them when picking up the boys from summer camp ...

Oh bugger. We are going to the Normandy for a wedding this weekend and I have just checked the weather forecast. Rain, rain and rain and it will be freezing cold too

You are welcome to borrow our fake ears, Schulte. They will keep your feet dry and cheer you up at the same time LOL

Hello. My name is Gui and I also had a baby in April 2009. May I join you?

Only if you have fake ears to wear whilst posting.

Crocheted my own ears I have, yeeeees!

That is really quite impressive.

See what I made?

www.made-in-england.org/images/crochet_strapon.jpg

Seriously, Nutty should be reading this ...

Awww, now you've spoiled the surprise by leaving the url visible!

An academic paper has come out in a leading journal relating to a project I was involved with early on. They have not credited my work at all, or my related book, even though they have credited someone who quite literally stole some of my work for their own book and who needed to be disciplined accordingly at the time - it was eventually dealt with in a gentlemanly fashion by giving me a fleeting credit in the acknowledgements.

I am feeling very and wondering what I am doing working with such cliquey and unfriendly people. Such is academe.

'd' h was in the front hall packing his bags for the week. I was in the kitchen washing up from breakfast. Moo wandered from the kitchen into the hall. I heard them talking for a bit. And then nothing except H rummaging around. I though where's Moo? but I didn't call out or ask because:
This entire weekend I've been nagging H about watching Moo while he were camping.
Typical conversation -I'm washing dishes or cooking or some such in the camper:
Me: Moo?!
Him: She's right here. (distracted man voice) from other side of the camper.
Me: No she's not I can see her and she's over there heading for the dog again...
OR
Me: Have you got Moo?
Him: Yes.
(second later) I see her bolting across the cycle path to go play with the oak tree. (she was obsessed with the oaktree I have no idea why)I head out of the caravan.
Me: Moo is across the path! (I retrieve her followed by H)
OR
Me: Where's Moo? (I can see her on the corner of the camper.)
Him: Here. (she's moved around to the back of the camper and is heading across open grassy hill)
Me: Can you see her?!
Him: Yes (he most certainly could not as his back was to where she was as well as the camper being in the way)
Me: Moo get back here!
This lead to an argument about watching her even when 'doing other things' and needing to either having visual or auditory confirmation of her position at all times.
Anyhow I continue washing up in the kitchen. Then I hear H leave the house and from outside I hear, 'Moo?' a few minutes later. 'Moo?' About 5 minutes pass... 'Bebe I've lost Moo!'

Cue 25 minutes searching and calling for Moo. Up and down the street, down the steps to the path. Up and down the path to the park and towards the highway. Getting more and more frantic. Looking in the under brush and beside houses in an ever larger circle. Calling louder and louder. Moving quicker and quicker. Searching the woods and the stream and under the footbridges. I have never been more filled with dread in my entire life. I could hardly breathe.
We were just about to call the police when a neighbor found her not 100 yards from the house playing with stones behind the car/garage of yet another neighbor...

I'm still shaking. I'm so sad and angry. I feel so guilty and ashamed for having lost her. I just keep thinking, 'I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. You're absolutely rubbish at watching her!' and then I think, 'I'm such a crap mother. I cannot even protect Moo. I'm constantly talking myself out of what is best for her. I didn't know her foot was broken. I've let her get lost by allowing her to be with someone who doesn't know how to watch her. I'm utterly terrible at this.'
'I didn't think she could get down the steps to the tarmac so quickly,' he said in amends. 3 bloody steps...she can get between the floors in about 30seconds!
I couldn't even look at him.
:(

Bebe, men are useless. End of. Don't blame yourself, or him, stuff like that just happens. We lost DS1 in a shop when DH was HOLDING HIS HAND. No idea how. Found him outside eventually. You feel like shit but that's part of motherhood.

Do NOT blame yourself

Bebe, today I have let ToddlerWarrior get himself out the front door without me noticing for 5 mins (gate was shut, but could equally not have been) and let him fall down a steep hill narrowly missing a metal post, because I was texting .

I could be your DH. They're so quick now. It must have been unspeakably terrifying for you.

I cannot even explain how scared I was and each minute I couldn't find her it got worse.
I know she's/they're fast, that's one of the reasons I'm so upset with myself, both for not double checking myself, and for being so angry with dh.
The thing is...and it is a terrible horrible scary thought to me because I never thought myself this way, but when I was looking for her and cursing dh I realised that I'd never be able to forgive him if she was 'gone' and likewise I'd never forgive myself in part because I'd never be able to forgive him...

Oh bebe that must have been so frightening.

But as the others have said, do NOT beat yourself (or your DH too much) up about it. I suspect he will watch her somewhat more carefully in the future.

DH left his weights on the bed and O pulled them onto his foot I was furious - it could have been his head - DH said he didn't realise O could reach the weights .

I let O fall over and bash his head on the metal roundabout as I was talking to a friend and not watching him properly .

These things happen and it's all part of being a parent.

Oh, and hello Guimauve. Welcome! I'm sure you'll get to know us all soon enough . How is the gorgeous Hugo? And work? I'm scared of the pharmacists at our work. Are you scary?

Boff, academia sounds backstabby and shit. I'm glad I'm not brainy.

Tis indeed backstabby. As the Climate Change thing demonstrated. The science was most likely good, but the behaviour was not always of the same standard.

Bebe, frankly I've lost my kids that often I am surprised they've made it this far in life. DS1 found Felix up the road recently wandering around exploring someone else's recycling bin (he likes recycling bins). I really wouldn't be too worried (although like you I do tell DH off most severely if he doesn't pay enough attention). It is impossible to bring children up appropriately to achieve a certain degree of independence and watch them 24/7 like a bodyguard. You can only do your best.