Dec 08 ladies getting re-clackered, with tantrums from toddlers we're sure to be knackered

[traceface]

Loved your title rubs
Never started a thread before so hope this works...can anybody find it?
hello....

Oh your so good Beans we always arrange our redirection a week before we move knowing full that it takes at least that long to come into effect if not longer. What's a mail merge?

Rubs it's hard towards the end when you can't do as much with the LOs. Luckily DH took DS1 swimming each Friday otherwise he never would have gone. Just putting on our cossies wore me out.

Oh and how is your back today?

Hello long lost ladies!

I have been AWOL for so long and not even lurking...my parents in law were here at the beginning of April and I started to get self-conscious when they kept making comments about how I was addicted to my laptop, then my parents were here, then we were in Italy on hols, then I kept trying to find time to sit down and properly catch up on the all the threads....but I give up. I have no hope of catching up and I miss you all so I'm diving back in!

I have skimmed a few pages from this thread enough to say....

Spot - I just might be with you with a Jan 2011 (poor sods) baby!

Just wee-ed on a stick this morning. Very, very surprised as I had a crazy cycle last month (think I was on here moaning about how I thought I was preggo, but AF eventually arrived after 38 days). So we decided to start trying properly, but then DH was travelling during what I thought were the key days, so I figured this month was a bust. But then no sign of AF - figured it was going to be another stupid 38+ day cycle and I was getting depressed, but then today I remembered that I had a pregnancy test in the cupboard leftover from last month and decided to give it a go. Very shocked and excited to see a dark line appear. Still don't quite believe it, and things always seem so fragile in these early days. But fingers crossed the stick was right and this little one is burrowing in nice and safe.

By my calculations, my due date would be around 11th January.

What a terrible friend, abandoning you all for a month and then dropping in with a me, me, me post. Will be better from now on!

Now that I am off the sauce, I am a loser at home in my PJs while DH is out galavanting. Boo.

Welcome back Mom and Urbane, and congratulations Mom.
I'm just popping on to bookmark. Have a cracking headache and feeling really rough today, so will be back soon, when I'm in a better mood.

Lovely to see you, Mom! Welcome back to the fold! 'Tis a day for lost lambs, with you and Urbane.

Wow, another potential preggo, hurrah. Lounging around in PJs is precisely what you should be doing. I'm about to watch Grease whilst eating home made cauliflower cheese It's all I'm fit for. My excuse is that I have only seen it once before, some time in the 80s. The film, not the cauliflower cheese, which I see every couple of months I can feel this baby squirming, this last week or so. It feels so odd to have that again.

Be careful with your back, Rubes. It's like cottage cheese during pregnancy (or mine is), although I can honestly say my back has never been the same since I had DD, it makes me feel geriatric.

Today I have been cleaning behind radiators in the new house and in all sorts of other fiddly bits with a toothbrush. The grime in that house really is something else, it's vile. The people who lived there were old and I am afraid not very clean. There's something about scrubbing very dirty areas with a toothbrush that feels like a really ignominious punishment.

Right - Grease is the word!

Hooray Mom good to have you back and equally happy to hear you news, and so close to Spots EDD too! Both of you are having babies about a month after your dec 2008 bubs birthday. Must be cos easter was later this year.

Lady what you back doing the toothbrush work. I can recommend sugar soap for grubby walls. The walls in this place are terrible so I've been slowly going around them with some sugar soap. Although did you say you were going to wallpaper?

Katie sorry about the headache.

Oooh Mom that's exciting. Fingers crossed for you.

Am so sorry I worried you. Thinking about it I should have just asked someone else to log in and send you a message. Did feel like massive deprivation not to have internet. Could do some stuff at work, but for some reason they block mumsnet...I can't think why .

JB I sympathise with the house dilemma. My sister and parents talked about doing a similar thing at one stage but backed off because of the potential for upsetting each other. Depends what kind of relationship you have though - I can see it working in some circumstances (actually something quite nice about having a family house).

I should get a break Veggie, will probably be busy until the end of the month and then I will go and lie down in a dark room while everyone else gets on with the real work.

Aub I'm going to check out your election cupcakes. Very impressed...

And LadyT I am awed by your toothbrush cleaning (shamefully it has never occurred to me to clean behind a radiator with a toothbrush or not). Are you properly in the new house now? I have just finished a brilliant book called 'The Plot' by Madeline Bunting. She describes it as a biography of an acre - but its also about her relationship with her Dad who was a sculptor and build a chapel up in the North York Moors. Has kept me semi-sane on the train into work. Happy to put it in the post if you like.

So nice to see you all. Who'd have thought the internet was such a marvellous thing...

Hi Mom so nice to see you back! And MASSIVE congrats to you! Welcome to the clacker club. We def don't need another A/N thread - as long as the non-clackers can continue to handle a bit of clacker chat

Vaggie, thanks for asking my back is a lot better thanks. I knew it wasn't bad when dh had a look and his only comment was "meh" (typical) But yes I'm glad dh took him swimming as they did a lot of things that involved lifting him and twisting and I think it would have made it a longer recovery had a had to take him as ds was in a bit of a mood today being more tired than usual.

I have gone a little overboard with the dylon #7 baby pink but I'm so impressed with the outcome. I mostly dyed a few (well 10) sleepsuits which we once brilliant white and then a shade off white. I didn't want to faff around with bleach or the like so now they are a really lovely soft pink plus some scratch mittens and a teeny tiny baby hat! I also had a lovely jumper from Next which was beige with blue logo on the front and is now beige with pink and purple gingham logo and pink trim - really cute result!

quick me post before going to bed. madam is either sleeping like a genius (2.5 hours at lunchtime, and then 11-12 hours at night, going off without a peep), or like a complete tit (sleeping for 15 mins at lunch, screaming for an hour and a half before going to sleep at night, waking every hour until midnight when she then decides it is play time for 4 hours).

needless to say, we had a "tit" night last night. hats off to dh who got up with madam between 12 and 4, but i was awake a lot of that time, too. today has been hard - we've both been exhaustivated. i had a meltdown at lunchtime and cried and cried saying how i was loathing madam at the moment (not strictly true, but you know waht i mean...). he just sits there and agrees with me. what i need is a partner to pick me up and keep me going when i lose it. i try to do the same for him. each time she starts to cry or whimper when she is supposed to be sleeping i get massive sighs, tuts, groans, "here we go again"s, you name it, whereas i try to think of the bigger picture and that she is just trying to find a way of settling herself, and that a bit of grizzling isn't going to kill her.

we went to some friends today and when we got back he helped clear up some toys and then sat down with the laptop and cricket. i, however, sorted out the changing bag, cleaned the kitchen, folded the laundry, did some ironing, wrote thank you/condolence cards which were LONG overdue for people we both know. i feel like i haven't stopped doing stuff for the family, for us. the only time i've stopped to do something for me is now, at 10.40pm when i vowed i would be asleep over an hour ago, and i am posting on mn.

i am so so furious. but then again we are both tired. i have tried to get him to sleep in the spare room with some ear plugs and to leave madam to me tonight, but he just won't. i don't know why. i am nothing if not practical and i just want him to get some sleep and feel better about himself. and when he gets tired, he gets depressed and the shit then hits the fan at some point.

feel like i've had enough. feel like going on strike. night night

Sorry WG That kind of random meltdown stuff sounds like teeth to me. DS sleeps well 99% of the time but goes through the odd night of meltdown when he goes down at 7 like normal then whimpers and cries, at around 9-11 and the only thing after lots of trying different stuff was rubbing loads of teething gel on his gums. Within 20 mins he would settle again after bringing him downstairs, and be back asleep for the night. have you tried that just in case? It won't harm to put it on regardless. Other than that I'm not much help as fortunately I've had the good sleep / bad eater combination, and hoping to get another one tbh [wishful thinking]
I can feel for you over the dh situation - that said - you work don't you? I can't really say that I do, so I guess I'd be pretty tired of what you describe too if it was like that. I even feel it's never ending and get down about having to constantly ask dh to do things despite the fact that I barely work, so i find i keep checking myself when I get into nag mode. But if I was working as much as he, I'd be furious if the domestic stuff wasn't equal.
I know I havne't been much help but I'll be hoping you get some rest tonight, and hopefully things will be brighter in the morning.

Morning,

WG sorry for your bad nights. Hope last night was a non tit night. It does sound like it could be teeth.

I need some help with DS2 again. For the past week he hasn't been quite himself. He just cries all the time and just wants to sleep and be cuddled. I have no idea what is up with him. I thought he was maybe coming down with a cold but apart from a runny nose he doesn't have any other symptoms. Could it be hayfever?

Hope you are all well.

MOM - Congrats! How exciting - I know it's early days, so will keep fingers crossed for you! And welcome back!

WG - that kind of thing is so hard. Yesterday DH went off with DD so I could put my feet up and I ended up ironing, doing 2 loads of washing, making lunch and cleaning the kitchen. Then today he let me have a lie in - for an hour - and when I got up, he started calling me lazy bones because I was up at 8, not 7! I mean, wow. Quite why he bothered giving me a lie in when he was going to make me feel bad is a mystery! Hmmm. Men eh?! But re the sleeping - that just compounds everything in my book. Last night I refused to cook, so we had a take away and I have to say, we both loved it and were really happy - him because it was delicious and me because it was easy as well!

I've got some really sore pains down my left hand side today - started last night and still v sore this morning. Baby v v active, so think I've pulled something, or else things just growing still! Last night DH actually saw how active the baby is for the first time. He doesn't usually show an interest, but he was looking at my tummy when it went the MOST extraordinary shape!! V alien. I think he felt a bit queasy - hahaha!

Off for lunch this pm to Haslemere - lots of babies and friends going, so should be good. Hope you all have a lovely day.

x

Kayz - sorry - not sure what that is for your DS - maybe just a bit of a phase? If it's not sorted next week, maybe take him to the doctor?

I have tweaked my name can you all guess who I am?

God I have had a grim start to the day. Just caught DD2 in the bathroom licking the toilet brush!!! I mean grim, grim, grim. She was literally licking it and it's not that clean plus it is kept it bleach so is a delightful combo of shit and chemicals. I have washed her mouth out with water. Anything else I can do??? She could get really ill couldn't she? Oh god.

Congrats MoM btw. Lovely to have you back!

just popping on very quickly to say Hi Urbane! and congrats MoM! and to share MIL's latest barmism.

SIL is 6 months PG and is about to go on hols to Greece for a week. MIL wrote DH a very worried email saying how she really doesn't think Greece is safe for a 6 months PG lady and why take uneccessary risks "that could have long term implications"??? Is this woman really completely insane? It's Greece, not Afghanistan...

anywa - will try to catch up later, big hugs to beans and WG re the husbands and Kayz for DS2

Hi Ladies it's mothers day here so have had a lie in and breakfast in bed & thoroughly spoilt with lovely pressies. Breakfast was quite funny. It was fruit, juice & eggs on toast. DH cooked it, DS1 was my personal waiter, he stood by me until DH called out 'service' & he would scurry off to get my next course. DS2 was my personal eater, he sat next to me and ate my mango and drank my juice, cheeky begger. Then I had a coffee in a lovely new mug that DS1 chose for me. I think it's quite telling that when asked what DS1 wants to get mummy he instantly say a coffee mug. It is a very nice one. Also his mummy's day message to me was 'i love you even when your grumpy' . He and DH have gone out for a swim. DS2 has fallen asleep finally, if he'd had an earlier sleep he could have gone too.

WG it's hard to know whether the bad day sleep cause the bad night sleeps, or if both are caused by something else. But regardless of that I think you abd DH just aren't capable of hearing each other anymore. You've mentioned before that he & his family aren't very good communicators and I think in the past you were able to either ignore it, or pick up on the subtle messages. Also he probably had the energy to put in more effort but maybe feels now that's it all not working. Everything feels negative for you both. I know this feeling because DH have felt it on many occasions. You are constantly living and creating negative memories. What you need is some positive experiences and memories. As lovely as Madam is you need to have some experiences just the 2 of you. DH & I have never been able to have a weekend away since the boys were born and that would be great to help lift things a lot. But instead we just organise a regular babysitter and go out for dinner or movie or even just coffee. Just chatting, talking crap and laughing at or with each, or other adults really helps. Even if we aren't out, just knowing that in a few days time we can dress up a little and just be us again really makes a difference. It doesn't make all the problems go away but it's helps communication and our ability to read each other again. Does that make sense.

Gosh you ladies are quiet.

JJ forgot to say, your MIL is a worry wart. Greece would be welcoming you SIL with open arms surely, red carpet treatment, anything to bring in foreign money surely.

And Avo I like the name, are you feeling all renewed after your lovely break. I bet the toilet brush incident brought you crashing back to earth though. She'll be ok. We once had a kid come in to A&E who had drunk the stuff at the bottom of the toilet brush holder. They were ok, so I'm sure she will be. Astounding isn't it, they won't touch brocolli but they will try to stick a toilet brush in their mouths!

Big congrats Mom!!! and a big welcome back Urbane we missed you...

WG hope today was better. Veggies is very good advice - I second that. I am thinking of you and hope you get some rest.

I have had a VERY boozy weekend. Bookclub on Friday and then lunch followed by afternoon/evening and night at the pub for a hen on saturday. We were at the Spaniards Inn in Hampstead on the edge of the Heath. But was a messy night by the end as you might imagine.

I lay in until MIDDAY (this is the longest lie in I have had in 6.5 years!) and I am still in my PJs and about to order pizza. DH went to golf at about 1.30 and my children watched a LOT of tv with me today - it was lovely. I am such a slob!

Veggie liked your FB thing about nurses!

Hi Ladies
Hurray urbane and MOM have returned We've missed you both. Fab news MOM - that didn't take long did it? Congratulations!
WG so sorry things are so hard. That sounds so difficult - being with such negativity is really very draining. And you have also got your cycles/ fertility ishoos swimming round your head too. Sounds like you really need a break from Madam - to catch up on some sleep and remember who you are - aside from Madam's mummy. Would you be able to get a baby sitter? Is your dad's lady friend still able to help out? Thinking of you - and hope we hear you've had a good night's sleep when you next post.
Well it sounds like the DHs have joined together to form the Useless Men's Club (apart from (veggie's DH who is always thoughtful, romantic, helpful...) but I have to sing my DH's praises tonight. I've been away on the church women's weekend, which was really good, and have got back to find a fairly clean house (didn't have too high expectations!), almost no washing up to do, 2 happy, clean girls who have had a fun 2 days, and a basket full of clean, dry clothes! He even apologised for not having done the ironing, then while I was getting the girls to bed he made a yummy roast chicken with parsnips (my favourite!). It was fab to see the girls again - but I must admit I didn't really miss them that much. I thought of them quite a lot but not in a way that made me feel sad. Hurrah.
sorry not to do more personals - am going to make the packed lunches then get an early night. Having no children at the weekend I could have got loads of sleep, but instead I stayed up nattering till gone midnight both nights, but then stayed in bed till 7.30am ish, so actually still got quite a lot of sleep.
OK, hope you are all well, see you soon xxx

hello all and thanks for your messages

firstly, mom - wow, wow, wow. great news on the clackerfront! fingers crossed and all that.

secondly, dh and i had a big talk today - we had to wheel madam around the local park to get her to sleep to do it, and yes, we were those nutters having a row in public, while trying to pretend they are being civil. there were many tears, a few tantrums and one near storming off. in the end, we have decided (on my insistence) to see some sort of therapist together. we are really good together, love each other, but keep stumbling at the same hurdles, and we need to find a way around that. we've been together for nearly 9 years, married for nearly 4 and i think it is time. madam's arrival has opened up stuff for both of us, and unfortunately we just aren't able to enjoy her as we are both stuck in our own misery and unable to get out of it. so am trying to find someone. any recommendations for couple's therapy in london? i seem to remember ladyt had some recommendations?

anyway. feeling dismal and hopeful at the same time.

Hello lovelies. I'm still feeling shite and have a horrendous headache. I have had this cold for over a week now, it was just starting to go away and then on Friday it was like I'd just got it again. Is it possible to get a cold on top of another cold? Otherwise I think I must have sinusitis or something. Off to the docs anyway on Tuesday so will see what he says, however I am always loathe to complain about a cold to Doctors!
Avolove the name and bleurgh to the loo brish, but both DS and DD have done it and it did them no harm, I don't think [hmmm].
WG sorry you are having a tough time, sleep problems really are the pits. We are having some similar issues. She has always been a brilliant sleeper, but recently she has been taking hours to go off to sleep, interspersed with much screaming, crying, and 'Mama's'. It's exhausting running up and down the stairs every few minutes and means that we don't really get an evening. She also wakes alot more in the night now than she did even in the very early days. Having got used to getting a decent nights sleep, it really screws me up whn I have to get up now.
Beans men are knobs. DH has been on being nice overdrive today after I lost it with him last night. For the last three nights I have hardly seen him, and then he was out all day yesterday helping his brother move. Last night he announced that he would be spending the evening in the garage/ office re-recording a webcast as the one he had done the night before had gone wrong. After I went a bit ape he promised to only be half an hour, he eventually came back in after 2.5 hours . I was fuming so he took us all out for a lovely pub lunch today, guilt can be a great thing .
Lady cleaning the radiators with a toothbrush was the kind of thing I was doing at 9 months pregnant with both of mine, it became a very strange onsession.
I start my new job tomorrow so DD will be going to the childminder for a solid 4 hours and be having lunch there. Considering that she refuses to play with any toys or eat any food whilst there I think it may be a long 4 hours for everyone .
Right, I have been writing articles about asparagus for the last two weeks and it has made me long for it. I finally remembered to buy some yesterday so am off to satisfy my needs.

Terrible typing, sorry

Ladies hope you are all well, have been super busy last few days with crazy hours (election and hen nights, bad combination ...) so just popped in to wave. But just time to say Mom how lovely!! Huge congratulations.

Anyway have had a bit of a shocker - ladies of London or nearby are you still going to Wetlands tomorrow? Becuase when i said I could come I totally forgot we are going away tomrorrow on a little holiday down to Cornwall. Doh!! SO annoying as it's 10 minutes from my house and I would have so loved to see you. Unless it's postponed? Well anyway have a lovely time if it's going ahead and wave to my empty house.

All well here otherwise, my usually feral baby has been rather sweet recently and said her first proper word this morning!! She pointed at her shoe and said, quite clearly, "shoe!". I was very happy. She's got a brillian new trick too - she worked out a while ago that her frown (which is like the frown of someone in a 1920s silent comedy) makes me laugh so now whenever I say "frowny face!" she does a hilariously exaggerated version of it. Very cute and funny!

Sorry a premature post, so to speak. Haven't had time to properly catch up so forgive rubbish post but WG I hope you are feeling better/ less knackered - I'm not sure that it helps at all but DD still doesn't sleep through the night and has always been a shocking napper, and does occasionally throw the odd "refuse to sleep for more than 40 mins at naptime meltdown". Usually makes her really really grumpy the next day too.
And Veggie unless I've skimmed incorrectly were you feeling poorly? Are you all better now? I hope so xx

WG that's all sounds exhausting but positive. I love the 'trying to look like your having a nice walk but are actually at each others throats' senario, very IKEA on. Sunday afternoon. Well done to coming to a decision to get some help, I think it will help your relationship and maybe help DH face some family ishoos.

Trace, I have to say that is amazing. My DH is very good at looking after the boys & good at tidying the house, but he cannot do both at the same time. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and found you can leave the girls. You really deserved the break.

Kiwi have a lovely time in Cornwell.

Turnip you just reminded me I forgot to send you something on fb, oh and urbane too!