Sept 08: How do we like our eggs in the morning? Fertilised, or completely and most definitely unfertilised?

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

A brand spanking new thread where we can chat about the state of our eggs, SWI, our veg patches and any other topic we fancy

mrsArch - yes C is able to enjoy being touched around the vagina, it feels pleasant to them. A lot of little girls scoot/bum shuffle on the floor because they like the sensation they get from it.

WRT routine, sometimes we only have to do something once with M and he then wants to repeat it everytime.

fanny - no I haven't used one of those swaddling wraps, but I've been v tempted to get one. If someone wants to buy it for you, go for it.

I'm glad you liked the book Fanny . It's most defo not an answer to everyone's problems, but I think knowing your cycle inside out can then help you pinpoint where a possible problem is, rather than fighting in the dark.

Oh, and I meant to gloat that I got chosen for the MN / Oil of Olay product test

It came in the post today and my face already feels like a baby's bottom!

I wonder if I'll get chosen for the Appletiser product test now I've got the Oil Of Olay stuff?

MrsA I'm not sure where I heard it (might have been on MN - might have been in RL, it all blurs). Someone told me they took their baby to the hospital as it kept fitting and then seeming to lose consciousness.

After some observation the doctors came round, with some students to declare that the baby was in fact pleasuring herself . So yes it can be enjoyable.

Saying that, someone done twice can become part of a routine these days. In a years time you'll find you're saying goodnight to each teddy, singing a particular lullaby, playing some kind of game, searching for the bedtime sippy cup ...... beware

Fanny I got the proper swaddle blanket as ds2 needed to be properly swaddled and I couldn't do it very well with a shawl. It was really good and erally easy to put on. I had a small one and a bigger one. I'd have given it to you but I think I sold the small 1 on ebay and gave the bigger 1 to a friend.

ninja I know exactly what you mean, we had to kiss about 6 teddies and go through an exact routine with ds1 until recently. About a month before his birthday we told him every night that once he was 4 only Waddle and him would get kisses and the routine would change. Then when it came to it he accepted the change no problem. Now though he has to say "night night, have a lovely sleep, see you in the morning, good night, sleep well" and we have to say it back exactly like that and then leave his door open at the exact right angle.

debi Thanks re swaddle rug. I think I'll ask for one, if I can find a suitable summer weight one to direct them to.

Bed time routine stories are hilarious! Do all children go thrugh an OCD stage?
We can't even get DD to form an attchment to her favourite teddy, she's just not that bothered. Is this strange?

fanny - lots of people like these one's

DS doesn't have an attachment to anything either. No favourite toys and most certainly no favourite soft toy, muslin or blanket etc.

He has no interest in soft toys whatsoever, but then I was/am like this.

fanny I've never used swaddle blankets but have heard good things about them, we just used regular stretchy blankets. If there's nothing else you'd like to ask these people to give you then it sounds like a sound investment.

I have to say I'm very tempted by the fertility book, although I'm sufficiently convinced that endo is my problem. Can't afford to buy it what with extension being over budget, anyone care to lend me a copy that I'll then send back??

DD didn't commit to a certain favourite toy til she was nearly 2, but ds has been addicted to his muslin since birth!

Last night as I put DS to bed I said 'love you!' as I always do and he said 'love you!' back! Then said it over and over really fast, I nearly cried with happiness! But then he was up for an hour in the night and I have the mother of all headaches so I'm not so pleased with him at the mo. He's been such a grump all morning, crying at the slightest thing.

Really can't work out if my headache is not enough coffee/too much tea etc. Have had a lot of water and some paracetamol. Bedtime can't come soon enough!

Fanny I have never swaddled my babies as I'm not very good at it. Best friend is great at it and as long as the swaddle is not really huge she can do it with anything, jumper, shirt, towel or blanket. If you struggle with the technique then try a proper swaddle blanket.
How long have you got to go now?

Robyn doesn't have much routine at bedtime and she doesn't have any favourite toys to cuddle. She does however like to have her fleece blanket in the car or buggy if she is tired.
DD1 has a teddy that she got when she was 8 months old and she still sleeps with it and she is 14

Sorry carrie, mine has already gone to another needy Mumsnetter otherwise you could have had it. Darn.

Carrie - mine is my bible so I am loath to lend it out at the moment. Also it is quite a tome so I imgaine the p&p costs won't be that different to buying a copy.

Ebay have one that doesn't have any bids on with 4 days to go, or maybe your local library has a copy?

I'll have a look in my copy and see what it says about endo.

Also, don't let the size of it phase anyone. After you've read the introduction their are huge chunks you can ignore (menopause, periods whilst bfing etc etc)

It sounds like a good book even if your not ttc. I mean to understand your body and cycle.
All grand here. The pox have dried out. I took him the doc and got a letter to say he is not infectious and safe to fly on sat. Back to work for me tomorrow now.
Fanny paul stride have a large selection of swoddles so worth a look.
A friend of mine has a child the same age as our. He constantly "humps things" my friend was worried and took him the doc. She was told that he will enjoy the humping sensation but that she must just distract him away from doing it. She was told that there is a condition which means early onset puberty but its very rare and she must just be aware of it as its unlikely he has it. Hope that helps the sudocream situation????
Oh darn bedtime for boys I am running late. xx

Can someone remind me of book title? Am rushing and no time to go back through thread, but contemplating an Amazon order tonight (just got paid for a chunk of freelance so can afford to read wanky condescending book if it'll get me up the duff).

Taking Charge of Your Fertility - Toni Weschler

Good to hear the pox is on its way out mama, and hurrah for being able to go on holiday.

The book is great actually. You can use the charting for ttc and as a form of contraception. If I had a daughter I would get her to read it as I am totally about how much I learnt about my body at the age of 32!

My good friend used that book and got pregnant after trying for a year.

ILTMIMI when I decided to start trying for DS I bought the Zita West book as I suddenly realised I had no idea how anything worked. I found it absolutely fascinating.

When we took DS out for his birthday in March he chose a soft toy rabbit for DD and she loves it. It's called Tilly and is grey and pink stripes. She loves it so much I've bought a substitute (does anyone remembe how awful it was when we left DS's teddy on the beach in France?). She's also now got a little phalanx of rabbits that she loves - Tilly, Apple, Rosie and Bella and she trails round the house carrying one or all of them.

MrsArch - Now this is strange because I've just come on this thread because I'm a bit weirded out about something that happened today and I was going to ask about it.

I look after a little boy who's 18m, his mum changed his nappy and let him fiddle with his bits for the whole time, the only time she stopped him was to wipe the poo off his hands and he was fiddling so much he gave himself an erection. I am a bit shocked tbh, whenever any baby tries to put their hands to their bits I always give them a stern 'no' whether it's a boy or a girl, I would've thought everyone did that?? The fact that she was changing a dirty nappy just made it worse and I am really quite grossed out by the whole thing - is this normal when you have a little boy? Obv him playing with his bits is quite normal but to just let him???

Thanks for all your comments about C and her bits. Tbh, I was more worried I was missing something due to lack of experience. the way i see it, as long as she's not doing it in public or giving herself a rash there is no harm done. It's only after bathtime anyway, so I'll let her carry on.

Lollipop I have to say I disagree with you, sorry. It's one thing to keep hands away when changing a dirty nappy for cleanliness but I will be honest and say I would be very cross with C's nursery workers if they told her 'no' if she was playing with her bits.
It's her body and I strongly believe she has a right to explore her own body, including genitals. At this age there is nothing sexual about it and it is the same to them as exploring their hands and feet.
There is evidence that giving the message that it is naughty or wrong to play with your genitals results in adults who can see sex as dirty or be sexually repressed.

As long as they're not whipping their nappies off in the middle of Tesco for a good old fumble, then I don't see the harm.

Incidentally one of my friends has a son who constantly gets erections in the bath (he is a toddler). It just means his body is working properly but it isn't accompanied by the sexual urges of puberty.

That's just my opinion and I respect your right to parent as you see fit, but is it worth checking with the parents of the children you mind? Some may have strong views (like the mother you described).

Phew - all a bit heavy, sorry!

MrsA I agree - it's nothing to be ashamed of.

MrsArch - Ah, now I hadn't actually thought of it like that, I just thought she was a bit slack because she didn't even say no to her little boy sticking his hand in a load of poo!! When I said I just tell him 'no' she said 'ohh, does that work?' as if she'd never actually said no to him doing it and I found that strange - poo is pretty disgusting after all!

I haven't got a problem at all with babies exploring their bits, my daughter sticks her hands in her bits when she's in the bath and I have no issue with that because she's not being unhygenic, and whilst she's been running around without a nappy I haven't stopped her either, but my view is that babies shouldn't be sticking their hands in poo at any point whether it's to explore their body or otherwise and so I say 'no' whenever a baby tries to put their hands down there when I'm changing a nappy - if it's a wet nappy I still say no because it'd be giving mixed signals otherwise.

I thought about this for ages after you said you'd be really angry if nursery said no to your DD touching her bits, and I was going to ask his mum what her view was but I have decided against it, he has never tried to do that when I've changed his nappy, I can remember telling him twice in 3 months not to put his hand down there when I'm changing his nappy and he knows not to with me (but is clearly still comfortable with doing it with mum so he doesn't think it's wrong per-se) so I am comfortable that I am not going to turn him into some sex crazed maniac. At the end of the day I think his mum can let him explore his body as much as she likes while he is at home and hopefully he'll start to realise that exploring is fine but (like in Tesco for example!) it is not acceptable. Do you think this is reasonable? I want to keep all my mindees parents happy but equally I do have my own rules and I just don't think that encouraging babies to stick their hands in poo is right for me and for my setting.

Coincidenally I had a very funny moment the other day when I was changing his nappy and DD was watching, she pointed to his willy and said 'wee-wee' in a very authoritative voice as if to say 'yes, I know everything about anatomy don'tya know and now I'm going to get you up to speed!' It really made me smile, I said 'yes, that's where wee-wee comes out of for boys'!

Getting off the topic of poo and girlie/boy bits now I promise

How do you teach your LOs to go down slides? DD is extremely fearless and climbs up ladders, goes on swing bridges with big gaps between the slats etc etc and has no issues so I'm happy that she is physically strong enough and has a high level of balance/skill etc but I have always encouraged her to go down park/soft play slides backwards and on her tummy. My mindee's parents encourage him to sit on it as you normally would. Now I have a very 'hands off' style of parenting in as much as I let DD (and my mindees) get on with what they're doing without me helping them or fussing, I let them climb on things that they undoubtedly shouldn't be climbing on (!!) and if they fall over or have a bump I don't instantly run up to them and make a big fuss unless I think they've had a really nasty bump. Mindee's mum is not like me, she scoops him up as soon as he does a tiny trip and she helps him with a lot of things way before I would, yet she is happy to have him sitting up on the slide even if it's a big one so I'm now thinking I'm being over-cautious??

I don't like them sitting up because 1. if it's a big slide they can fall backwards as they're going down and crack their head on the slide and 2. I worry about them falling forwards down the slide when they're getting into position whereas if they're going backwards they wouldn't fall anywhere.

What do you do??

Lollipop DS doesn't normally go down terribly big slides (his balance is awful!) so I usually sit him facing forwards, but I'm pretty much holding him till he's in position, then catching him at the bottom, so I haven't got a clue!

Hopefully we'll find out today whether DP's going to be made redundant. Eeek! Am fairly resigned to it either way, but it'll be a massive change if he is.

Have ordered fertility book. Have clearly lost the plot, but never mind. Am also going to get doc's appointment and insist someone checks out my surgery recovery. Double eek!

Not sure how you'd teach them but DD is absolutely fearless on slides and goes down forwards, backwards, sitting up and lying down. We took her and DS to the Spring Fair at DS's new school and she amazed all the helpers by going down the huge bouncy slide with no problems. I guess being there to catch them and then backing off is the best thing as practice helps.

M's been going down slides forwards since before she could walk - however lolli I think that you're quite right to encourage your mindees to go down on their fronts, I'm fairly certian that's what M's childminder does and I glad for it. Same with the stairs, we bump down sitting, but I know she should come down backwards.

Toby goes down head first. He is totally fearless. He scares me to death

WRT playing with their bits...its completely normal and should not be discouraged. I find toby has little play (well, more like tries to pull his off!!!) before his bath as his nappy if off. I think thats the crux of it really...they have a nappy on all day and night and when it gets taken off they naturally want to see/handle whats been covered up. Also, as someone said, they may find it pleasurable but at this age its akin to the pleasure they get from sucking at the breast/thumb or bottle/teddy etc

Dont stress about it!

Fell off my mums step yesterday and have badly sprained my ankle. Am such a muppet

Oh God, going down the stairs on their bums is a complete no-no here, it's tummy all the way!

Yes ILTMIMI that's a great book - but given I'm having a period about every 6 months or less it's not helping much...

Lollipop - A just sits on the slide and wriggles down. The toddler slide at playground is super-slippery and he slides no problem, but now he wants to go on the big one, but can't climb the ladder so I have to lift him onto the platform (my head height). He then gets on fine but doesn't lift his feet so doesn't slide unless I help.

I just copied what everyone else did with their babies - loads of babies from sitting-up age going down the wee slide sitting, never seen one fall backwards yet.

Re swaddling - A's blankets are just large bits of sweatshirt fabric, 1m x 60cm I think. I used to just roll him up when he was tiny, like a sausage roll. Then I got the hang of swaddling 'properly' - MrNC told me off for calling him mummy's little samosa... [nostalgia]