Dec 08 Mums - Terrible twos already? Tears, tantrums, tiaras and tractors - and the rest!

[Beans33]

Hope this is better - sorry all!

Can we offer a job lot Sybs? One contrary three year old together with one whiney, grumpy 16 monther? I'll even pay the postage.

God, DD2 did my head in today. Every moment was accompanied by a backing soundtrack of whinge only onteruppted by the occassional full in tantrum. I am so poor at parenting whingy children, I have so little patience. And today I kept taking it out on DD1 who is so good and sweet and deserves better. I feel so stressed tonight.

Must. Find. Wine.

Evening all, anyone watching the debate? I'm just not really finding it terribly enlightening and it's unlikely to make any difference to my voting intentions. Does that mean I've disenfranchised myself?

Well in the end on Tuesday we decided to go to the seaside since it was such a glorious day dd loved paddling in the sea aven though it was absolutely freezing, and then decided to get on hands and knees and crawl with her tummy in the water?!! Nutter...

beans hope your water infection is getting better, do you have antib's? Laughed a lot at you falling asleep in a teleconference!

rubes re bed - the only reason we'd not put dd in one is that she rolls about so much, she ends up in all sorts of funny positions and if it wasn't for the bars she'd be on the floor... When do grown-ups stop rolling about that much? I change from left to right side, but rarely end up with my head at the foot of the bed!

veggie well doen on your massive ride, you cycling star. Should get you and SL together to have a race! Thank good ness DH is home safe, bit cheeky about the car park though the rotters!

katie keep up the good work with the giving up smoking! Having only ever been a 'social smoker' (ie when out clubbing I'd nick a marlborough light off a mate if offered ) I've never been through it, but my dad was a 60-a-day guy for many years, gave up over 10 years ago using patches and hasn't touched one since. He says he still gets the urge now and then, especially if he's out with mates, but feels so much better for having given up.

WG how are you feeling about the end of BF? Maybe it will help your cycles settle down a bit more (? hopefully).

Aubi you ninny re Nick! how hilarious are you?

LadyT well done for surviving the MIL! Hope you're feeling proud of yourself.

trace did you and DH have a lovely dativersary [tm]? Your description of the pelvic thrust rings so many bells... Little tykes aren't they?! but lovely as well.

The great parenting debate - we reached a certain stage when it just wasn't always possible to help dd if she was crying (eg a particularly awful 20 minutes in the car in Canada ) but on the whole if you mostly see to your baby's needs, and they know that when they really need you you will be there, I'm of the opinion that that will be fine. It's surely only a problem if a baby is regularly being ignored when they're very little and too young to understand that mummy/daddy isn't gone forever. I guess we're lucky that in the end she pretty much taught herself to go to sleep, we did leave her to cry for a couple of minutes but it never reached full-on shrieking, more just the grumbling, I'm getting there kind of thing. (though of course I still give her a bf at nap time, wonder when that will give up given that DH/nursery can get her to nap without boobs)

Right, DH at choir so I'm going to have a bath with a trashy novel and a glass of cheerfulness Have a lovely evening everyone!

Hmm Invis, our mutual friend is asking how we know each other, not quite sure what to say?!

Katie I think the usual party line in these situations us to say you met through the babies.

Aub I think oh LOs must be the same temperaments, DS1 is the epitome of the angel child. Is just too lovely and loving for words never whines and whinges is really helpful and generally likes to see mee happy. DS2 on the other hand seems to need to have screamy noises daily quota which is quite high and he needs to make sure he meets the level. I have discovered though that most of his screams are just from frustration at not being able to do something or something not working the way he wants it to. For example the other day he was pushing the broom around and it got caught on a table leg and he couldn't move it anymore. Immediately he starts with the 'eeeeek eeerrrrrhhhh aaaaaaaah'. In the past I'd be like 'what what?' and getting completely thrown by the volume and level of anger in his voice and assume he wanted me to do something but i've found if o leave him he settles down and just fixes the situation, ie moves the broom. It's taken me 16 months to work it out though. He also gets really angry when I can't workout what he wants he point at something randomly in the room that he wants me to give to him and if I can't work out what it is straight away he goes mental.

Oh I just remembered something I was going to tell you all. I went to meet my friend and her son at a great little farm thing like i said and we were in this play area with the kids and there was this Dutch family there with GPs. Anyway the Gfather points to DS2 and asked how tall he is? I thought maybe he meant how old is he but had got his English mixed up so i said 16 months, but he said no how tall is he, which I thought was strange, especially as he was standing a few meters from him so surely he could see. Anyway I've no idea how tall he is, I know what centile he's tracking on but I've no idea how high he is so I said 'i don't know'. He seemed really surprised and said 'are you his mother?' I said I was but I couldn't remember what his last height measurement was. Anyway next he said, he looks south American is he south American? I said no his father is Chinese. The old guy looked really surprised and said 'no that's not true i don't believe you, are you sure?' My friend who is English nearly spat her tea out at that statement, then I said 'well the last time I checked he was chinese'. The old guy responded with 'but his eyes they don't look Chinese?'!!!!!! By this stage my friend was nearly off the park bench in barely contained hysterics, and I was completely gobsmacked, so I said, 'well maybe it's because my eyes aren't Chinese!'

I am with you guys on the high maintenance whining and whinging.....DS is usually quite good but he hasn't half got on my nerves today. He spent the morning from 7am til 10am practically wailing the whole time with minor alterations to just whinging, this is because he decided to wake up at 5:30 and not properly go back to sleep...This including being half quiet at the beginning of a phone call to mortgage company but 5 mins later after having passed around 3 people he was wailing at the top of his voice. So I shut him in a different room as I just had to finish the conversation. And he was SCREAMING and bashing the door like a proper nutcase.

Then we went out as I couldn't stand it any more, obviously despite being in pushchair he is now happy and being Mr Charming for passers by. Then I had to go to doctors for a blood test and he was having a massive temper in there, trying to bite, headbutt, hit, pinch me etc, because i wouldn't give him absolute free rein to run around. Blood test was awful as I was trying to watch him while they failed to take blood out of me and it made me actually feel like i was going to pass out. I haven't had that before and it really freaked me out, and I got all upset, which was stupid. In the end they had to take blood from my hand which HURT much more too.

Then we came back home and I was feeling shit, DS kept inserting the remote control into a gap in a speaker, getting it stuck and then tantrumming until I took it out. Then as soon as I did he'd put it straight back in again! Really, the child is not that clever sometimes!! If it's frustrating you, don't do it again!! Also massive temper as he got his hands on the salt mill and wanted to lick the salt off it, obviously not a good idea so stopped him, cue MASSIVE tantrum.

Sorry for moan but I am with you on how annoying they can be sometimes! HARD WORK!

I think i need to slow down as I walked to town and back and went to the park and swimming with DS, and I think it took it out of me.

Oh I have drivelled on for ages and now I haven't got the energy to do personals..

Re the parenting/crying thing, i don't actually see why routine is associated with leaving baby to cry anyway?? The only person I know who did GF religiously didn't leave her baby to cry at all (much less than I did DS). And also I agree that it depends massively on the baby as to whether routine suits and whether you just end up having to do CC or similar just for your own sanity. There have definitely been stages where I have left DS to cry for 10 mins or so purely cos I just couldn't handle it any more (when totally knackered, etc).

Oh and we have sold our house (for above asking price, wahey, (Asking price was lowest valuation though)) and we have found somewhere to buy too. This is most scary as we are going to try and move before new baby.
Hence urgent mortgage conversations with screamy toddler.

x-post veggie, that is hilarious!! "I don't believe he's Chinese", how funny!

Sorry accidentally posted. The conversation kind of came to an end after that but I was so shocked at what he said. Does that all sound bizzarre to you guys? I am quite used to people asking about the boys as I guess it must be confusing for people to see me, blue eyes pale skin, with sons who have darker skin, brown and slightly oriental eyes. I get a bit bored of it but always when I say that their father is Chinese they nod, get the picture and that's it. I had one Chinese guy actually ask if DS2 was my son but, before this old guy yesterday that's the worst it been really. DH was completely shocked by it and couldn't see how he could be so sure he was south American but no convinced he was mixed race, and that he didn't believe me. Why on earth would make it up?

I think there are just some weirdos out there veggie!! Yes I do think it's weird. Maybe he thought you had kidnapped him!

Veggie you child catcher! Actually sorry, it's probably not that funny having people doubt you are the mother of your own children. Maybe you need to keep a little photo in your purse of all four of you to flash at unbelievers...

Well we have the day off today because dd had a runny bum at nursery yesterday and they won't take her today. It's remarkable how she's only had the poos (can't spell diah... ) at nursery, I think I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times it's happened at home but they very frequently say in a worried voice "she's had some quite loose nappies today..." I'm wondering if I have lower standards of poo?! I mean, she often has soft poos, but that's cos she eats lots of fruit I'm guessing. Surely babies of this ahe aren't meant to be producing (ahem) fully formed results. And of course whne I dashed to pick her up halfway through the day she was 100% fine, playing and laughing and quite herself. Fortunately I've still got tons of leave to use from ML, but it's a pain to have to be off at 3 hours notice (and I'm missing an important meeting )

anyway, long and the short is we're going to try going back to our bumps and babes group, I wonder if any of the people we used to know will still be there?!

Morning everyone. Am in bed w broken foot and storming headache after being hit by taxi ... Horrible. Thank god DH has next dew days off work cos I dont know how I am going to cope w high maintenance madam (so like yours SL!) wanting to be carried all the time. Dreading Sunday when he's back at work. Anyway just a short post because my head is banging.

Veggie that man sounds like a nutter, dont let anything he said even stay on your mind, he's clearly both stupid and ignorant xx

Oh veggie that did make me giggle but at the same time its actually quite awful that the man thought he had the right be ask so many questions. Not exactly somethingyou would make up is it? I think he was just a nutter(and lets face it there are lots of them about!

I dyed my hair last night a dark brown (trying to feel good about my night out tonight) It actually looks okay. DD has said that she is going to change her hair colour when she is 6 as that's when its allowed apparently

Back to the hospital this aft with DD and her arm. Thing is she has been whinging the past couple of days that it is hurting her. Do you think that could be because its in a temporary cast and not fully supported?

X post Kiwi. OMG you poor thing! How bloody terrifying for you, Try and rest as much aspossible while DH isat home. Can he not get any compassionate leave if you can'tlook after DD?

Apologies for the lack of spaces...new laptop is weird, keys barely move unless I thump them!!

Kiwi what the hell happened??? Hope you feel better soon.

Kiwi! Can we help at all? I'm free on Sunday and could get to london if the trains are running. Did you hit your head? You shouldn't be on your own if so, let alone the foot .

Bloody London drivers

How horrible kiwi can you get compensation (not that helps with the pain and stuff but still..). Have you got some help at home ?

Veg that happened to me once - both the boys have extremely brown eyes and quite different skin tones so some bloke asked me if "they had the same father" and then "He'd have to have a word with my husband as they were born very close together!" I was a bit shocked tbh, like when people grab you when you are pregnant, for some people once you are a parent you dont need to be treated with tact.

LadyT is there any news on your dad ?

Summer congratulations on selling your house, are you staying in the area ?

We are going for a picnic today. The upside of this is that cleaning up the inevitable mess after lunch is easier. However, both the boys have got to the stage where they actually fight so its a bit of firefighting and intervening in constant conflicts. I look forward to 6 months time when hopefully DS2 can be reasoned with (!) The other day he hit DS1 on the head with a die cast car and then cheerfully ignored my telling off.

Kiwi I'm so sorry that is quite a nightmare. I think in situations like this social services should be offer home help, surely it's necessary.

I do laugh JJ don't worry luckily I can see the funny side. But it does upset DH a bit and I do worry as the boys get older that they will hear and inderstand and it may upset them or make them feel their parents not looking the same is strange. Unfortunately the man was quite sane, it's a bit of Dutch thing they kind of have no concept of privacy (17 million people in s tiny country does that I guess) & they are very blunt. It's taking a bit of getting used to after 12 years in the UK most in London, where a built up population has made people value their privacy, & you Brits would rather gouge your own eyes out than cause offence.

Well we had a lovely relaxed morning getting ready for
school today, sometimes it can be a bit harried. Then I went and ruined it by locking my bag, with wallet phone and keys, in the house!! Thankfully one of the mums at school has DHs number so I rang him from
her phone and he rang our landlord, who popped over to let me in, lovely man. We did have a key outside taped inside the bike trailer but we took the trailer inside after the bikes were stolen. So now I'm going to keep a key on my bike lock as the lock key stays in the bike when it's unlocked (Dutch bike thing) so if I'm out on the bike I'll always have my key!

With the screamy child thing does anyone elses darling go mental for a bit when they wake in the morning. DS2 rolls around and cries and carries on when he first wakes up. It's like he doesn't want to be awake. He gets really angry, this morning it carried on after DS1 & I had gotten up and gone into the livingroom. He was standing against a wall just shouting at us. Thankfully there was something in the livingroom that distracted him.

Said thing in the livingroom was DS1's new bed. DH picked it up last night from the people we bought it from. It's brilliant, it's still in pieces but it's got a slide as well as a ladder. We bought it for €15 and it's in perfect condition, I realise that's about 14 times more than your Rubs so in comparison not a bargain at all but the previous owners dismantled it but left the slide ladder thing together as they have the same estate wagon thing as us so knew it would fit. The boys had a great time on it the morning, if DS2 goes to sleep I'm going to try to put it together this morning.

NJAN that is just horrible, why on earth when it comes to children do people feel it's ok to be so offensive! He wouldn't have gone up to your DH if he was with them and said 'are you sure that ones yours' so why say it to you! DS1 has little friends who are twins one is blue eyed is fair skinned and has the deepest red hair & his sister is dark haired, brown eyed and has dark skin. They almost no resemblance to each other but as we've only met their mum (she is a red head) we have just assumed that their dad is Italian or something. It turns out he is half Chinese so that's were it cones from. But apart from having a passing thought about the idea of asking never really crossed my mind & if shed said he was Russian or Scottish I don't think I would of questioned his involvement in the childs conception.

DS2 is asleep on my lap again. He has gone from being a baby that will happily sleep in bed for his naps to one who will only fall asleep for naps on my lap, I can easily transfer him but i would like
him to go back to the way he was. Anyway for today it's ok as I'm going to try to put the bunk bed together and DS1's room adjoins ours so it would be too
noisy for him to sleep so I'll just leave him hear on the couch.

Veggie: ds1 did the wake up and scream thing and still does if he has an afternoon nap. Partly to do with blood sugar I think. Can ds2 have a snack when he wakes up?

I'm a bit worried about Kiwi - please do say if you need anything as there's a few of us fairly nearby and it sounds like you'll be laid up for a while.

Veggie - that IS a bargain (I don't normally get things as cheap as I did) And yes I have the screamy child after waking. First thing he doesn't as long as I take him from the cot and immediately put him on the ground so he can play with toys in his bedroom (hoping the bed will alleviate this problem) If I carry him straight downstairs it's a screamy wrestling match and he will refuse to eat until he settles down. He also does the tantrums when he's trying to do something in particular especially if his walker gets stuck on something and won't move or if he's opening and shutting a door and then it accidently closes and he can't get it open he goes mental.

Bloody hell Kiwi what the heck happened? I'm free after Sunday and you're not far - I could come over to you and try and deal with 2 problem 16 month olds? Let me know if you want some help next week.

I think mil may have worked out my dc2 gender... I will get to the bottom of it today and reveal all if she does indeed know.

This week is all rush rush so not able to post usual reams but I wanted to say to Kiwi - I am in London for appointments on Monday lunchtime and Tuesday morning - otherwise completely free. Very happy to get you shopping or look after your DD for a while or whatever would help. This is not an empty offer, I really do mean it, so if there is ANYTHING I can help with, don't be afraid to pipe up. You poor old thing. I hope you got his details.

Veggie, that man is very rude to press you about the ethnic origin of your children! It's ok to be curious - sometimes I see people and wonder what nationalities their parents were - but that man went too far. I have some good friends who are half Irish and half Tamil-Malaysian, who were schooled in Brussels (well, you're read Penguins and you know who I mean) and they have had some offensive remarks over the years - no one ever guesses their true heritage though! My consultant is half English and half something else (she is absolutely gorgeous) and I would love to know what the other half is but I would never dare ask as I think it's too nosy!

Rubes, that midwife is too much. I hope she didn't bully you. What forms do you need for the £190? I wasn't told about that last time, didn't know it existed.

NJAN - thanks for asking about Dad, his chest infection is tons better but the vertebrae is healing v slowly and is still excruciating. No news of a scan yet, grrr.

Sybs (and others) sorry you are suffering with the hissy fits from DD2. How is DD1 and the thumbguard?

JJ - I don't blame you for jettisoning London for the seaside -I was thinking I fancied a trip to the seaside myself, but all our spare time is being taken up with the house. I am actually starting to see progress this week, though the builder who did the roof, chimney and windows came to see it on Tuesday as one of the windows he put in was gammy, and he said he'd bet we wouldn't be in before December Maybe he was just being mean as we aren't using him to fit the kitchen and bathroom (he is £££!)

Right - have to dash, DD is hitting some glass coasters with her wretched glockenspiel sticks.

Lady did you get around to texting Urbane? It's been 2 months since she's been on FB even
No she didn't really bully me - it was just that typical attitude and I could tell she just didn't like my choices. The grant is called a Health in Pregnancy and you can only get it through a signed form given out by your midwife or doctor at 25 weeks PLUS (and not a minute before according to the M/W from hell I just saw. It wasn't around when we were up the clacker last time around. Think it started April 09

Veggie - meant to say that has happened to my DB a lot - his kids look totally Malaysian and there were times when I would be out and about with him and people must have thought him and I had adopted them or something - you could see their minds ticking over!

Sybs I fwded dh that youtube and then he later yelled out from the other room "who sent you that" and I said "Sybil Fawlty" and he yelled back "Prunella Scales"? And he looked very confused for a minute thinking she actually posted on MN!

Aw guys thanks so much for all the messages, you are all so kind. Am mainly just battered and bruised, not in any real pain. DH is looking after me well and though I hit my head docs were happy w all reflexes and tests and whatnot. Plus DDs nursery have kindly said they will take her Monday too, so as long as DH can swap his Sunday shift (which he thinks he probably can) then I should be ok. I do have a spectacular bruise though.
I have one crutch too so I am doing my best Dr House impression.

Oh one thing - I think DD has Mmr booked Monday. I know they can have a reaction a week or so later but in your experience were they ok on the day itself? Just cos I need her to go to nursery after so if not I might postpone it...

In my experience the day itself of the MMR was fine - I believe peak time for reaction is 7-10 days later. Lots of rest please, as it will have been a horrid shock.

Rubes - I did text Urbane last Wednesday and no response. However, she may have changed her phone or something. "Up the clacker" Loving it.