Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

[Veggiemummy]

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

Katie - do you think it would be worth having a friendly chat with Boy 1's mum? Maybe have Boy 2's Mum with you as well to discuss it? Nothing formal, just ring her for a chat and arrange to meet up? Or just on your own and call her for a quick chat? I know there were a couple of issues at my niece's school, with my niece having the finger pointed at her for a bit of it. The mum of the girl who had been bullied rang my sister to discuss it and they managed to get it cleared up - and my sister had to give her daughter a proper dressing down. (nearly wrote dressing gown then!). also, my sister's husband is the headmaster of the senior school of the junior that she is at, so it had to be really nipped in the bud as would have reflected v badly on him as he has v strong stance on anti-bullying.

Must be so hard when school aren't really co-operating when you're trying to be reasonable and keep channels open. Hmmm. When I was bullied my parents tried to speak to the school and found them totally unhelpful. It was at secondary school and mostly psychological, but there was some physical as well and no one stepped in or talked to me at all. It would have helped so much if someone had just told me they knew what was going on and just let me know that they were looking out for me. I think it might be an idea for the school to talk to all the boys involved - particularly Boy 1 about it. maybe even get them in a room together to talk about it. They are little enough to all be talked to together and told it's wrong to push/kick/say bad things to eachother. Hmmm. Might even shame Boy 1 into being a bit nicer to everyone!

Yes I agree getting them together would be a good idea. I think I might phone Boy 1's Mum tomorrow to apologise for DS hurting him today, and perhaps just drop into conversation that they do seem to have 'issues' with each other. If it was the other way around I think I would appreciate this sort of approach. I'm just wondering if I have been a bit blinkered about my little 'angel' and that actually he is embellishing the truth a little.

Well, I still think you did the right thing, Katie and I would have done it. IF your DS is unhappy at school, to the extent that he wants to change schools, well he can't be the only one to blame. I do hope the head gives you a more satisfactory answer. I think schools want to close their eyes to potential bullying, tbh, and I think you are totally within your rights to try to get to the bottom of it.

Effie, that is super exciting! How utterly lovely!

Ooh, sorry about the prep, Invis.

I am in trouble with DP for blabbing to some of the cricket team about being pregnant as we haven't even told family. I just seem to be making a right hash of this telling people lark. As it is one of them phoned me up, upset that he hadn't got a personal phone call informing him! I am not a member of the Royal Family. Why do people even care? The sooner everyone knows the sooner all this fuss will stop. It leeches the joy out of it all, seriously. Sigh.

I think that's a very sensible approach to take with Boy 1's Mum, Katie.

I think your plan of apologising to Boy 1's Mum is a good idea - and makes it an easy way to bring up their issues. But maybe try to keep it light so that it doesn't become more of an issue than it needs to be? Just to make her aware of what's going on and let her know that you're keeping an eye on it as well.

x

Lady T, post it on your FB profile, then the world and his wife will know...problem solved
Thanks for all your support ladies, I find your advice absolutely invaluable on this sortofthing.In fact, I think I talk to you more than I do DH sometimes, at least I get sensible opinions/ advice from you lot

I'm with you, Katie - much though I love DH, he's rubbish at communication sometimes and I find it easier to chat on here where everyone is so kind and understanding. Thanks all.

And do let us know how it goes with the other mum.

Oh god, I'm so tired!

Cor blimey you lot have been chatty today!

Where to start...katie I think you totally did the right thing sending the letter, and I feel the teacher shouldn't just be so dismissive of the issue. I hope you get some practical thoughts from the head. I also think contacting Boy1's mum to apologise for todays thing, and then discussing the wider issue is a very good idea. Again it gives you an 'in' without pointing th efinger solely at her DS.

ladyt get thee pg status on FB. Katies right will solve all your problems

effie hooray for walking DS!

veggie big well done to Mrveggie on the mags, and so cute about DS1 and his chocs.

trace Are you pg then?? And yes DH does know I'm back on her. I asked him the other day if he wished to proof read my post. He was both sheepish and apologetic over invading my privacy!

wg good to hear you sounding much happier

Re: MIL's. Beans it would infuriate me having a mil visit the childminder. TBH I really don't want to speak ill of the dead but my MIL when she was well, basically did feel that DD was hers. Drove me potty, even started an AIBU about her once. However, now I wish I hadn't been so bothered by it iyswim. She was also obsessive with her camera. Since her death we have gained 100's of photos of DH in his 'yoof' and 100's of the DC's(mainly DD). Not quite sure what to do with them but DH won't let me anywhere near them for fear I will bin them!

summer I had no overwhelming surge of love for DD, it came gradually over the first few days. I think I was in shock after the emcs etc. DS was another matter - burst into tears when I saw him, and he wass a cs. Bloody babies!!

aubi sounds like a lovely day

invis hope you feel better soon.

I woke up this morning with a banging headache. I still have it now a bit and feel a bit sick. I thought maybe I was dehydrated, but having drunks lots of water today I still feel a bit ill.

Katie - sorry its all a bit difficult - the awful thing is that at some point DS has to work out how he will cope with these others himself, although school/parents should be able to give things a nudge in the right direction. Sounds like you are being very sensible about it though.

LadyT - Agree that the whole telling people thing is a minefield. It is lovely news, but somehow telling people feels a bit embarassing (and I did have work contacts who managed not to twig when I was 8mths pregnant ). Sometimes telling people who are not the closest to you is easier as you don't have to deal with their take on it.

Finding public sector recruitment very odd - just found out my prelim interview next week is with 2 HR bods from the agency, so wondering whether my plan to get up to speed on cases etc is a bit redundant? Apparently they will be assessing me against the skills specification - I am suddenly feeling a bit of an old school thowback. This is probably all completely normal in the real world, but I guess law firms have some catching up to do.

Effie forgot to say, hooray for DS! J is just getting the hang of the walking thing and it is very cute, especially the proud grin!

Daisy - x-posted. Glad your DH has seen the error of his ways! Hope the headache departs soon - horrible waking up with one, I feel groggy all day when that happens to me.

I've just added someone as a friend on FB on veggie's suggestion but forgot to add a note! If one of you with initials SL gets a request from AL it's me!

I bet you will rock, Invis. I have every confidence!

Ooohh, Daisy, hope your head improves. Have you got one of those sticks? I am a right pill popper when not pregnant but even I swear by my 4Head stick.

I am actually glad I will be away for a few days. Otherwise I may strangle DP. He has really got on my case about this flipping telling people thing. Sometimes he is such a drama queen. He is now saying that he didn't want to tell anyone until after 20 weeks, to be sure the baby was ok The fact is I don't think he particularly enjoys telling people either, so some of it is that. His college mate is coming down for a few days tomorrow, as I mentioned, so they can talk about the good old days in peace whilst hopefully doing work on the house. Apparently they talk about the fun times they had with DP's ex-girlfriend as a jolly threesome (not THAT sort of threesome) and enjoy resurrecting all the old in-jokes. Nothing against her (a wholly decent, pleasant dullard imo) but it's all a bit....irritating

Oops - Effie, me too! I did ask Veggie who she was recommending but forgot to put my posting name in the request, so NJAN, I am the one with the hyphenated surname.

LadyT - by 20 weeks it would have been obvious to anyone with eyes in their heads that I was pg with DS (although see previous post - there were some apparently without eyes ). Also, with telling people you are close to but don't see very often, it is just easier to say when the chance comes up, rather than make a special phonecall or whatever at some predetermined time.

Oh, and thanks for the vote of confidence! I guess I am feeling a little out of my comfort zone, but I suppose that is the point. Anyway, all good practice for the US trip, which is bound to be utterly terrifying.

Right chaps, off to Mum's so I will be lurking only until next Tues. Have a lovely Easter break all xxx

Oh bugger...I think DS has chicken pox!

He had a rash on his bum yesterday But didn't really look like nappy rash iykwim? Anyway this morning it looked like proper spots, just got him ready for his bath and he has little blister spots on his legs, feet and bum! He was 'off colour' last week, I put it down to teeth

Do I need to get the GP to diognose him? How long is he contagious for?

Daisy: ds1 is just getting over it. Nursery say wait fir a week, BBC says 5 days max. When spots have crusted over I think you're ok. Bicarb of soda baths and try and find calamine aqueous cream - if you can't let me know as I have a spare pot I can post. Eurax also good. And the best of British luck!

Oh and I didn't bother re the gp, I figured they would prefer he kept away. Everyone at nursery was having cp so I was half expecting it.

I think I messed up the friends suggestion thing on FB. I meant to suggest all of you lot to NJAN but i seem to have suggested her to all of you instead oops.

I made hot cross buns today, and they taste ok.

Our landlord rang DH today and told him that they are thinking of selling the house and would we want to buy it. Strangely he wouldn't tell DH how much he is selling it for but said they would honour our current contract but I'm not confident of that. We were assuming we would be here until we move back home in August and really don't want to have to move in the meantime. Over here the tennant has to pay the estate agents fee and it's a months rent plus vat! Just getting this place cost us €1300!

Exciting news Ef. Hilarious about the rugby tackle.

Katie, I hope the head master is more helpful. I really can't believe they aren't taking the strangling thing more seriously. Regardless if what she thinks is going on they need to take DS's feelings into account, if he is feeling threatened and bullied then they need to speak to him and get his side directly. I agree speaking to boyA's mum is a good idea. If I were her I would be more than happy to discuss it and try to sort out a way to settle things. But I think in the end your letter makes accusations which you have a right to see addressed.

Hi everyone can I just say thanks for making me so welcome on FB. I'd like to change my login name here because I dislike it and chose it in a hurry when I joined, perhaps when I can think of something better.

Anyway, by the by. LadyT I think its hard to keep a pregnancy secret until 20 weeks, and the second time round especially, I decided not to, as I felt that if something was wrong then I would need the support. In my experience, a big part or becoming a parent has been letting my guard down a bit with friends and family, and say when I need help or cant cope.

But then for me, the mum has the final say over pregnancy things as we have to wee 10 times a night and drool like babies while the men booze and sleep till their hearts content

Oh and daisy your responses on those food threads really made me laugh (as did the threads!)

NJAN I was that way out on those food threads, turns out now it was a load of male IT geeks gatecrashing MN. That is why it is safe to stay here I feel

DS also appears to have ulcers on the end of his tongue - possibly more pox?

I have just spent 30 mins trying to explain to DD it was night-time, even though it is still light out. She is adamant it is morning and "mummy why are you trying to trick me to bed?"

oh daisy sorry about the pox Hope he doesn't get too itchy and poorly with it. My 2 have avoided the pox so far, despite being surrounded by it many times!
Veggie how do you make hot cross buns? They're so yummy
I managed to express a bit of milk off but my left boob is really sore. I offered it to P again just to try to get her to relieve it a bit (which I probably shouldn't as that will stimulate more - but it hurts!), but she point blank refused again! aubs I hope you're wrong about the taste changing in pregnancy . I still feel the same really but have a headache too, so probably viral. There's really so little chance I could be pregnant I'm quite sure I'm not. DH would not be happy if I were. I like the idea of a third, but TBH I'm so high risk for PND that it would not be a good move for our family for us to have another. Plus I don't think I could cope with any more than I have!
Anyway I'm so sleepy I'm going to get an early night. P slept all night last night but annoyingly I woke up almost every hour. grr. P's already woken up twice since going to bed tonight!
sleep well all xxx

Veggie thats probably right, it means people can choose not to be my friend and I'd never know

NJAN, I've accepted you as a friend, strangely enough my name is Katie with a surname beginning with B