Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

[Veggiemummy]

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

Rubes, do you think it is definitely off with the gf? I mean, it might be that he just (genuinely) needs some time as everything has got on top of him. I am sympathetic to her but at the same time I think she can't just pour all her stress onto you...And that is ever harder that you can't really talk to your folks about it. Mmmm. Hopefully your brother just needs some space and can start to try to get back on track soon.

Just prove em wrong Lady

Beans That's so cute. Perhaps I should put DD's favourite music on for her nappy changes. But that would involve lots of Metallica ...

JJ Ha yes, did I not mention that my DH is an international sporting legend? You can just call me Mrs Beckham ... Well ok then, no, he's a sports journo ...

No he said to me a few days ago - "I don't want to break up with her (necessarily) but I don't think I want her to live here anymore"

I don't think it's over, I know he's going to change his mind - he always does impulsive things. She is so normal and does everything for him and the kids etc and he craves the chase and excitement and then gets bored when he gets it. Thing is, he gets really jealous at the same time when she does go out and do her own thing and give him space.
I think he will change his mind and she will come back but I don't know if that would be a good thing or not. he's had doubts and run hot and cold for awhile.

That said - although she is normal - she can be just like him and tends to be a bit selfish sometimes herself. I got really annoyed when they came over when ds was born and the trip was suppose to be about me but it turned into very much about her family (she is from the UK)

I managged to bight my tongue though at the time (impressive hey!)
Well I did have a brand new baby etc and lots going on so I didn't let it get to me too much

lolololol at my typing / spelling!! I managed to bite my tongue as well

Oh I'm a mess.... here I go rambling again.... I know I know I was working on that.
Beans I might have to hire you for the evening to cheer me up! Lets hope One Born Every Minute is entertaining! maybe there'll be another 'Joy' on "stop walking back and forward"- is giving me a headache!"

Snatching a bit of mn time while ds1 is occupied with Thomas. Ds2 at cm's, we've had a nice day potterng about the house clearing up.

Rubena: it must be hard for your db and his partner, bur it's not fair to load it all on you while you're a) pregnant and b) on the other side of the globe.

Ladyt: hope dd gets better soon.

Kiwi: ds2 does a good tantrum as well, but compared to ds1's they're just funny! He's not that good at it yet but is practising hard.

Beans: ds2 is more of a boney m fan. And the Smiths . He bounces about and waves his hands in the air.

Jj: did dd get a good sleep in?

Katie: letter looks good. Let us know how you get on.

Does anyone else watch the Vampire Diaries? I am slightly ashamed to say that I'm addicted to it!

Hey, tonight, I'm making a delicious cod recipe with capers and lemons - v excited as usually don't like fish, but this one sounds great! Yummers.

Izz has started dancing to anything that comes on - even me singing - which is more like caterwauling. But hey, if it keeps her happy, it keeps me happy. And I've found that when I wake her up from her afternoon sleep, she starts babbling away at me immediately, as if she's picking up a conversation we left off when I put her down for her nap! It's v odd, but absolutely adorable. I love it!

I'm off now and probably won't be on this evening. But will catch up in the morning. x

FGosh Rubena, I think you do deserve wine tonight. What a situation to try and manage from so far away. Does your brother have main custody of his children then? Will he be OK looking after them without his GF if she normally does all the work.

Sorry to hear that poor little O is still suffering LadyT. I bet your family will be overjoyed to hear your news. Re my move, we still can?t move until DD1?s first day at school . That will be January 5th (she starts a term late because she is August born). So I think we will put our house on the market in September with the hope of completing on a sale in January.

Kiwi ? DD2 was having the most amazing nappy change tantrums. Just like those you describe. It was practically a two man job to change her. One to pin her down and the other to remove the excrement. However she seems a bit calmer the last couple of weeks and dare I say it is getting a bit easier.

Beans ? I was terrified that I would not love DD2 like I loved DD1. Even when I was in labour I imagine thinking ?I am not ready, I am not excited, why am I doing this?. However, the moment DD2 was put in my arms I did have that huge rush of love. The developments of my feelings for DD2 were different though. I loved her from that first cuddle but it took me much longer to get to know her and develop strategies for dealing with her idiosyncrasies. With your first born you can devote every minute to them from minute 1 and that can mean the bond grows very quickly. With number 2 I found it took a bit longer to feel that strong bond . It does come though. I can?t imagine being without either of my girls now and am totally and utterly in love with both of them.

How cute is this? Our nanny usually phones me at work in the afternoon so I can have a quick chat with DD1. Today DD2 got very jealous and wanted to speak too. It was the sweetest thing. She grabbed the phone off DD1 and shouted ?Mama Mama?. I started talking to her and she kept screaming ?Hiiiiii Mama?. Then I asked her if she was having a nice day and she went ?Ummmmmmmm, Yeah? and when I asked her if I could speak to the nanny she went ?Ummmmmmmm, No?. So I asked if she was cheeky monkey and she said ?Oo-oo, ah-ah? (which is her impression of a monkey). OK it?s not Shakespearean prose but I was so proud. I nearly cried at my desk.

Do you think Urbane still lurks? I miss her. And where is Turnip? Don?t disappear on us again Turnip.

That is super cute, Arti. And yes, I was thinking about Urbane this morn.

Very impressive Aub! Ds1 has only just got past sheepish grins and nods when you put him on the phone and he's three and a half!

really cute Aubs and glad to hear about that bonding with second baby thing.
Yeah my brother has primary care of the 3 kids ever since she went a bit wacko and moved to switzerland with the new boyfriend of the time (as you do when you have young kids) He has basically looked after the 3 kids and worked full time for the past 4-5 years by himself and has been with his dp about 2. She does a lot now, and always has and in the process he has taken on more responsibility at work since she's been around so it might be hard without her there. I hope if he wants to work it out, that it's for the right reasons and not just that he misses the help if you see what I mean. he's not like that, but it might be subconscious.

It's partly my fault that I'm involved, as although he gives me snippets of information which makes me worry, I did say to her to let me know if she's heard from him as I was concerned.

Well ds ate all his dinner (albeit chicken casserole with bacon and no doubt too much salt) and then a yoghurt. I am going to see if he'll sit down again in the bath - that would be a result, then I'm actually looking forward to a bit of quietness.

Aubs that is so sweet about DD2.

Rubs hope you hear from your DB soon.

Hello everyone,

DD has gone to bed early. I'm rather worried I'm going to regret it at 6am but she was soooo tired. She did the babysign for sleep, grabbed her rabbit and laid on the rug. She is dreadfully snotty and has a cough too which isn't helping.

Aub Hurray on getting your first choice primary school! What a sweet conversation on the phone. Well done your DD2 .

Beans I'm expecting DH back tonight and I KNOW he is going to pick up on all the things I've haven't done. I suppose they haven't actually seen all the hard work that we've put in and it is easy to pick up on what hasn't happened.

LadyT Sorry to hear DD is poorly. As long as she is having plenty of fluids, water, milk or whatever, food doesn't matter too much. I try to tempt DD with toast or rice cakes to try and get her eating. She tends to be off her food for ages after an upset tummy though.

Rub That's difficult, it sounds like you are piggy in the middle. Maybe leaving him to get in touch is a good idea, it might give him the space he seems to be craving. I wouldn't worry about the bacon/salt. Salt should be thought of as over the whole day so as long as he hasn't had loads of salty foods, marmite for breakfast, beans for lunch etc, a bit of salty bacon will be fine. I'm looking forward to One Born Every Minute too.

kiwi A whole month, yikes! Will you have any family to help out?

2nd night in a row ds sat down in the bath (eventually) then happily played with toys dare i say we have turned a bathing corner. I took him out (after ages)and he screamed and did a very babyJJ style attempt to get back in however rather less gracefully Had is milk, a bit of Iggle Piggle and fast asleep by 7 so now I shall relax.... Decaf instead of wine unfortuantely.

Jolly, I know she is feeling sick but that is SO cute your dd telling you she is tired! Ds does his own baby sign for tired - grabs his muslin and mushes his face in it and rubs his eyes - I think that's quite universal though - he has a variation to that which is screaming and causing general destruction.
I think that's a good idea and I will stay out of the family drama unless he contacts me for a chat.

Lady is dd feeling nay better?

nay better?

Aub That is SO cute. I wish DD would say "mummy/mama"

JB I know, I'm totally in denial about it, I keep telling myself "Oh DD will be SO much easier by then".. err, no she won't! And no, no family to help. My parents will be around for some of it but on holidays most, and to be honest they are pretty useless anyway. Nice for company but have never once taken care of DD (except babysitting when she's asleep) and they live 1 mile away! DH"s parents are fab and would help loads but his mum, though retired, is doing supply teaching and working for the entire of June. I have however decided to send DD to nursery 5 days a week rather than 4 for that month. She loves it there (says Kiwi desperately justifying herself...) and at least that means I get ONE day a week where I am not working/ rushing to take her to nursery/ fetch her/ looking after her 24/7.

Eeek.

Well Rubes, when her Dad got back she seemed to cheer up and was very excited and all over him She wasn't the limp little girl I have had on my lap this afternoon. And she has eaten fairly well (for her) so I think she is ok. Actually I think d is manageable as long as you haven't got the v as well! Ooh, glad you had a better bathtime.

Jolly, that's really sweet that your DD told you she was tired. What a poppet.

I won't be allowed to watch One Born tonight. DP is coming back and he gets all antsy about it (but I can't be too hard on him because I know it is because he is hugely squeamish - it is hard for him even to set foot in a hospital he is that iffy. And yet he has got used to reading pathologists' reports and looking at gross photos for work).

I've got to ring an electrician who is a friend of my BIL's family. I keep putting it off but I have actually known him (not well) since I was 10. I just feel a bit daft. I am being a real weed this week.

Rubes, you are so disciplined with the lack of wine and the decaf. I'm a baddie. Although I haven't had more than a couple of glasses of wine per week (though it was 3 in the week just gone . It's been easier this time though, as I have fancied it far less. And though I have been drinking 2-3 3 coffees a day, I never seem to get through more than half a cup for that same reason.

Anyway, enough putting off calling the nice electrician.

Er...I will call him in a sec But just wanted to say to Kiwi

a) I am so envious of your DH, and
b) we should organise a meet up in the midst of that, so you feel less alone. I am sure several other babies at the same stage is the last thing you need but it might be jolly!

Kiwi, I will be off work then (not that my big 2 days a week are much of a strain!) but you are welcome to visit me! Or I could come over to you. A meet up sounds like a great idea too before this lil one comes.
Your parent's sound exactly like mine, ok for the company but I would have to book in with them about 12 months in advance if I wanted them to babysit if they were coming to visit(even while baby sleeping) Do they know what you think of their lack of Grandparent-ish behaviour?? I tell mine in a less than suttle way, but they are surrounded by people who travel and all that and think the same way as they do, so they actually think they are normal. it's more my Dad than my Mum - he tends to brainwash her a little with the "don't get sucked in to letting the kids use us up for babysitting" type speeches to her. Jeez you'd think they'd see it as a privelage like my mil does - she begs to look after him.

Lady - I'm just on the decaf at night as I have regular coffee in the morning and I fear it may not help my problem getting to sleep. Oh and the wine - just can't be arsed going to the shop esp since dh is at work o/n so it would have meant lugging ds out and it's raining etc, however if I had some I'd def have poured a glass by now.
I am dehydrated today though, as I can feel the sinusitis thing flaring up - always happens when I haven't had enough liquid....

hello ladies
I was when I logged on and saw that 3 more pages had happened since I last looked, but then it turns out most of them were the same post by Katie over and over...
Katie I think your letter is brilliant. it's well written ann makes your point in a very rational and reasoned way but shows your concern too. Well done - hope you get a good response.
veggie poor ds1 too - how has he got on at school today? Your key hunt morning sounded a bit traumatic! Is dh just away for the day?
rubs so sorry to hear of your family troubles. It must be so worrying, and it sounds like you've all had a lot to cope with over the last few years.
ladyt hope little O is feeling better. They always perk up for the person who hasn't spent the day pandering to their every whim...Well done on telling a RL person about your bump - I guess when more people know it becomes more real, IYSWIM? And also I wouldn't say you're a weed, but you do seem to have been less 'you' than normal. Are you ok?
Aub that's incerdibly cute about the phonecall. It made me wonder if P is rather behind with her speech though - or is your dd2 advanced? I still only get "mmmmmmmm" for everything, and no recognition of understaning anything, except she picks up her shoes when I ask her to get them! And that's so nice that the nanny rings you everyday for you to talk to dd1. Oh and big cheers for getting in to the first choice school
JB is dh back yet? Hope he appreciates what you have done, as well as noticing what you haven't!
kiwi I think havng a day to yourself is an excellent idea. With dh away you will really need that day (and more!) to give yourself some mn time space
daisy how are things with dh? Does he know you're back on here?
Well P has decided she doesn't want to BF anymore! She's been showing less interest over the past few weeks, and we'd got down to just a few, minutes before bed and a few in the morning, but the past two nights she has shaken her head and started to cry when I've offered her the boob. I take it that means she's ready to be a big girl! I'm happy about it because I didn't have a time frame in mind for stopping but I just didn't want it to be a decision I was forced to make, like when I thought I'd have to stop when I went back to work, because that would have been because I had to stop, not because she or i wanted to stop. But this way she's sorted it out herself so I'm happy with that. My booarellas aren't too happy though A bit on the red, sore and lumpy side - had a bath this evening and managed to squirt some milk out but still rather tender. Has anyone got any tips on what I should do? Do I need to express to get all the milk out or will that just make me make more?
Tomorrow is my day off so I'm going to 'small talk' in the morning then have the parent support lady coming to chat about L again. On the whle L has been much better, but she's starting to challenge me again and I'm feeling a bit unarmed to deal with her. I keep finding myself unable to make a decision about something, eg she'll ask for a snack and I say no, as it's only 30 mins till tea, then she'll plead and cry and ask again and I think "I don't know if you can have one" and can't decide what's best. That's a petty example but it's wierd, like I can't decide what I want the rules to be. ANyway that sounds daft but I know what I mean!
Right must go.
see you later.
Oh adn I was wondering if anyone had heard from urbance too. And I wonder if Bisou ever lurks...

urbance! doh