Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

[Veggiemummy]

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

Gosh kiwi I cross posted before that is just terrible. Are you ok this must be quite upsetting, how are your family?

I'm sorry Kiwi . Has this been dragging on for a while? It is shocking how many people get away with dangerous driving.

Katie: have been thinking about your DS and that we'll be going through the school issues in a year or so. It must be hard for them to go from a pretty cosy environment to being in a class of 30 or so and having to fend for themselves. Of course they are adaptable and resilient but I can see DS1 acting out big time at home to compensate. It took him a while to settle into nursery -ratio of 1 to 7 or so and most older than him. A few random thoughts (bearing in mind I have zero experience of this age group): could you meet him from school on your own one day and go off and have tea together? Or do something at the weekend? I'm sure DS1 resents the one to one attention DS2 gets - being carried about, not being nagged to go to the toilet/pick up toys/close doors etc etc. Must be hard being the eldest. It's taken me a while to realis this cos I am a younger sister (yes, one of those) and always thought the eldest had it made.

LadyT: I would thoroughly recommend crafty things as a way to relax. You don't have to be any good at them (you haven't seen any of my finished products yet). Crochet is good for a starter hobby: you only need one needle and you can't impale yourself on it. Plus you can put it down at any time without stretching it or dropping stitches. There are some lovely easy patterns for crocheted blankets where you do one square at a time. Plus you can get some really nice wool in on t'internet.

Or what about collaging? I understand it's v popular for helping to plan (and keep track of) writing. Of course it could just be a splendid way to waste time.

Collages (and a funny blog if you have time to read it):

www.arghink.com/2010/02/14/house-guests-and-glue-sticks/

Can you tell I'm on the train?

I am 35 tomorrow. No idea how I managed to get halfway to 70 while remaining pretty clueless. Am celebrating by bringing my own cake into the office and going on a manual handling course .

Wow, Effie, Manual Handling, you know how to live. Happy birthday for tomorrow darling.

Kiwi, I am so very sorry. It must be difficult to have to go through a prosecution, let alone get an unfavourable verdict. Am thinking of you.

I'll try to be back with some wise words (????) on bullies and other things later on. In the meantime, thank you all for your kind words to me earlier on and letting me use the basket.

God, I love this thread

Hi all

I left work really early today (12!) and came home. I slept on the sofa for an hour and a half, which was blissful. The had antenatal appoinment and heard the heartbeat etc. V nice indeed. Am still totally knackered, so will be in bed by about 8pm, I reckon!

Kiwi - I'm so sorry to hear about the verdict. I'm not surprised you're shaken by it. Horrible. I hope you're ok - thinking of you.

Katie - my sister had similar issues and she felt she knew the other mother well enough to speak to her about it in a really nice way and they managed to resolve the issues between them, which was good. Although the school did get involved as well and have been keeping an eye on the situation since. But others have v wise words, and I think it's best to proceed how you feel would be most beneficial to your DS. I was bullied myself, although at 11, so much older. The school knew about it, but didn't get involved at all and I'm still angry about that now at the age of 34!

Effei - rocking birthday! Chances are I'll be pushing a baby out on my 35th birthday as am due 3 days before my birthday! What a way to spend the day!!!! EEEK. Will be nice long term, but for the day will be hideous!

Big love to all and am so glad you're feeling happier sybs

x

Date with manual handling cancelled: DS1 has chicken pox!

Oh my gosh! Well done DS1 - does he want to come here and give it to DD? I'm keen for her to get it before she gets too old!!!

PS Sorry - that was v unsympathetic - is he ok? I really hope so. I wasn't meaning to be unsympathetic at all! I hope he's alright. xxxx

Hooray for birthday at home watching DVDs on the sofa Effie!

Hello again. Thanks for the kind messages. It was a bit of a shock because the police (who have been wonderful throughout, our liaison officer is truly lovely) were very confident. My mum (my granny was her mum) was actually very pessimistic, she was convinced the jury would let him off so she is sort of ok, she said the police seemed more shocked and upset than she did..

It's not like the guy meant to kill her, of course, but he was reversing too fast the wrong way in a carpark in a college (where my granny, who was 92, did opera appreciation classes), so it was also hardly like he was under any pressure in the way he might be on the road with fast moving vehicles etc. My mum reckons the jury (9 men, 3 women) just though "oh it could so easily have been us"....

To be honest I don't feel that strongly about the guy himself, it's just the whole thing has bought all the original feelings back and I jsut feel really sad all over again. Mostly because my granny never met DD, as it was just a few months before she was born. She lived just around the corner and would have loved her so much and spent so much time with her. Though of course at 92 I do realise she wouldn't have been around forever.

Anyway at least my mum seems ok and the thing is over, albeit not with the result we were hoping for.

kiwi - so sorry to hear that. i cannot imagine what it must be to deal not only with your grief, but with a prosecution as well.

katie - bullying??? there is so much us firsttimers have to learn. you have had some wonderful advice on here - it is also good for us to hear and learn from your experience. i hope you manage to get it sorted.

ladyt - thanks for your kind offer - that would be amazing if you are sure you still want to part with it (mind you, you won't be needing it for a while).

rubes - i wager you will be the glamorous, outspoken, aussie mother of two lucky boys!

sybil - sorry to hear about disharmony in the sybil household - i am heartened to hear that you, at least, raise the issues, as opposed to the waitinghousehold where the issues are buried until they burst out. i hope they can be resolved.

someone kindly mentioned a book about conceiving/fertility - please can you remind me what it was - have forgotten adn searched for it in the thread with no luck.

went for a run last night -it does cheer the soul (and hurt the buttocks). also, tactical error: asking dh to massage feet after a long run. i now can barely walk...

have had 4 nights of rubbish sleep - 2 nights insomnia, 2 nights madam being a mentalist. wish us luck for night 5...

Very tired and had a busy day so about to crawl off to bed but just a quickie to WG to say of course you can have the fertility monitor and all the sticks I have got left, and it was me with the book as well so I will parcel the lot up to you and send it off when I am next in London on Monday. Good luck for tonight!

Sorry about the pox, Effie!

Hello, wow lots of chatting - always nice to read (time permitting)!

Thanks for all the input on the CS booking dates.

Aubi I had heard about some test but I thought it was amnio or something which isn't that a needle in the gut? [pass out] But I would certainly do anything they offered! I'm pretty sure I'm worrying about nothing and actually feel better about it since you all have added some bits as there are a lot of 38+ something's so thats great to hear.

Summer have you decided what path you will take?

Sybs bloody hell 40+14! you must have been at your tits end by then - and went on to have 2 more! 38+4 sounds a little more inviting! Sorry to hear about the argument. dh and I had a small one the same night but it has resolved now and was really me just having an unreasonable hormonal meltdown about nothing really. He is quite resillient I hope you are feeling much better by now and I wouldn't worry about the old birds - yes they probably had their hearing aids out anyway.

Beans I see you've joined me in the sweaty department. Actually I'm not sweaty yet, but anticipate a rather sweaty summer under boobage (and by Summer I mean the season not the other knocked up lass )
No-one could pee more than me. I had my hair done today and my friend asked me to bring toilet paper and then was glad I did when she saw me trundle to her toilet at least 10 times with a head full of foils! and headaches - getting loads of them too. Not sure if it's the lack of caffeine (I've cut down considerably but still having 2 or 3 cups a day) or if it's dehydration since I'm scared how much I'll pee in the night if I drink too much

Katie that bullying story makes me feel very sad, as once again I imagine if it were ds in that situation and it's heartbreaking. I fear I'd blow my top but I really need to get that act first, think later thing out of me before he reaches school age - oh what fun to look forward to. I hope it all gets sorted out soon

Veggie Ashtanga - look at you! Hope it went well and you enjoyed it! I have always wanted to try it as you may remember way back - well of course start with the basic stuff first but yet again I never started. Typical. I've suddenly got this feeling I would rather do pilates though - but all this will be well after the next is born.

Kiwi sorry to hear about your grandma's case. Glad it can all be put behind you now though and your Mum is feeling ok. Sadly none of my grandparents got to meet ds but dh's grandma did and also his grandad who died when ds was only a couple of months old.
You two enjoy your mini meet up tomorrow but promise I can be invited next time to trash Beans' house but just not on a Fri or Sat
WG Glamorous and outspoken ok spose so - bugger - I really am, aren't I - must work on that?
two boys huh? I really need to do a list as I can't remember who has guessed what! We should do a prize - guess the weight and sex
Keep up the running - well done, and glad you are feeling better. That monitor is fantastic - you'll be up the duff in no time!

Finally Effie happy 35th for tomorrow (actually 30 minutes time!) Bugger another person here I'm older than many happy returns luvx

Morning! DS1 still feeling chirpy and not itchy yet, so will be interesting keeping him entertained! Lots of spots though. Ds2 clear so far, hope they get it at the same time. Much as it's nice to be home, DH and I are both mad busy work wise so we will have to do some juggling. Thank goodness it's Easter next weekend.

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear effie,
happy birthday to you!

Just a quick one to say Happy Birthday Effie! Hope you can have a lovely day. DS's didn't really get itchy with it but DS1 while quite perky during the day was a bit unwell overnight with it. Also, unfortunately while the boys did get it around the same time DS2's was a whole week after DS1's finished as he was infected by DS1 not the original child.

Rub's I've done some Ashtanga before but not learnt the full proper series so this is so I can learn it. It's quite full on. When I've done it before it's just the sun salutations then some poses but this place does it the pure way and between each pose there is a little mini salutation which includes the plank etc so I'm in pain today. But I'll be buff soon (hopefully) and very zen. It's very energetic like much of the yoga I've done, but with the continuous movement even more so, hopefully the kgs will be slipping off soon. I think I'm going to cut back my running do some more cycling but make the yoga my main exercise again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EFFIE! Hope you have a lovely day and the pox aren't too painful/itchy! Have a very happy day! What prezzies have you got?

x

Happy Birthday Effie, hope you have a lovely day.
Thanks to the basket for your wise words over the bullying, some great advice and I am determined to get this sorted asap. DS came home with a note in his bag about how the teacher had to have words with him about rough play. I asked him about it and he swears that he wasn't playing roughly, two other boys (different ones) were pushing each other and landed on him, and he was punished. I have written a note back to the effect the DS promises he wasn't playing roughly and was really quite upset to be punished, however I hear there was another incident involving punching and kicking?!?! I am a bit annoyed that they were quick to punish him, and tell me about it, yet didn't bother to tell me about the punching and kicking incident.
I will see what the response is from that and then go and talk to the teachers again.
Being one of 3 girls I had no idea how nasty boys could be, nor that bullying could start this early. I was bullied when I was about 12, and developed a sharp tongue as a result, but you can hardly teach that to a small boy .
Anyway, thanks for your words.

I forgot to say - we had an offer on the house yesterday - full asking price!! Extraordinary! V exciting, but unfortunately it comes with a caveat - she has to sell her house before she can buy ours. Luckily hers has only been on the market for 3 weeks and she dropped the asking price of it before she offered on ours. So we're taking ours off the market for 2 weeks while she tries to get hers sorted. If it doesn't happen after 2 weeks, then we're re-launching ours again!

Katie I find that quite unbelievable and feel in view of all that has happened that you have been quite restained about this letter. Which is a good thing. I'd probably go barreling into school and make things worse. How confused must poor DS feel, I think it's right that they get involved if the rough play is getting out of hand, but they need to be consistent.

Kiwi, I imagine the police are probably really upset by this verdict too. This is something they take very seriously. A very beautiful friend of mine was killed while out doing cycle training one morning by a guy who had driven all night and fell asleep at the wheel. The defence argued that he could not have been responsible for his actions because he was asleep and the jury went for it. Again, it's one of those cases where the jury probably felt it could easily be them and well hasn't he suffered enough knowing he killed a guy. But that doesn't help my friend his widow and their 2 daughters who were too young to even remember him. Also it effected their compensation, so in the end the insurance company did well out of their lawyers costs. My friend was quite ok about it as she agreed the guy has to live with it but the police involved were really upset. They obviously have to deal with the fatalities and casualties of these drivers and in this case they really thought they had him as the passenger in the car was willing to testify against the driver as he had asked him to stop driving because he was obviously tired.

Oh Beans that brilliant news hooray! Fingers crossed!

Happy Birthday young Effie! Hope you have a fab day!

Talking about birthdays, as they think I am 5 days further ahead and my consultant does her private ops on Tuesdays and Wednesdays I may well be having this new baby on YOUR birthday!

That is super about the house, Beans. Fingers crossed, but if you have got asking price already even if this lady turns out to be a no go, I think you will have no probs selling it.

Oh Katie, I hope you get to the bottom of all this soon...

Veggie, I am so impressed with the yoga. I would love to be all toned and zen. But I am too impatient to learn how.

Invis, you asked me about that French film - I thought the performances were wonderful and I enjoyed the setting (I like the town of Nancy and that bit of France) but it was all a bit languorous and drawn out for me.

(When I said YOUR birthday I was actually talking to Rubes, but I didn't somehow say!)