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Discussion amongst Mums with babies born in December 2008

999 replies

Veggiemummy · 16/03/2010 19:49

Hope you all can find it, Moms title was perfect I thought.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Beans33 · 24/03/2010 15:05

Hi Rubes - I haven't had a CS myself, but I have a lot of friends who have and my sister did with her 2 children and my mum with 2 of us. And they all had them 2 weeks early (including me!) and all was fine. Clearly, I will let you judge for yourself whether I'm normal, but I like to think so, despite my flappy wings (not attached by skin - just my H&M jumper, which you also have!), scrotey boobs and body odour...

spot - our DD is also really clingy in public and I despair of her ever launching herself into activities. When my NCT friends come over with their babies, who she has seen nearly every week for the last 15 months, she immediately retreats to me crying and has to sit on my knee watching while they all happily play. And this is at home, or their houses, or out and about. It's really tough. But I'm sure it's a phase and they'll grow out of it as they get older. She is so boistrous and fun when it's just us at home. Just goes really shy and screams if I put her down. Drives me bonkers!

Rubena · 24/03/2010 15:18

hmm thanks Beans - yes I think you are normal well I've really only known you when you are up the duff and since I am as well you seem totally normal to me! I think it's stemming from watching One Born Every Minute as it was really sad last night, and also the bloody internet. No t mention some of the elective threads on here which go on about not having it planned for before 39 weeks - well this would be 5 days before 39 but I am not sure what is worse - changing consulatants yet again, and possibly getting a newbie there, or opting for a week later (since this one only does them once a week) and then risking getting anyone on duty probably overworked and knackered at the end of a long on call shift, or going with the date selected and assuming all will be fully developed and no probs? Bloody consulatants and their one day a wekk pop in for a few electives!! Oh dear, dh is going to get me banging on and on about this.... surely they can check most of these things before they go ahead on the day right? Then why sometimes all the breathing probs - apparently (from my googling) it's 5% have a few issues before 39 weeks as apposed to 3% before 40 weeks - not much difference I suppose?

Oh and Veggie - sorry to hear about the bke thieves - are they insured?

Rubena · 24/03/2010 15:22

Spot - ds is the same - couldn't be more shy. Apparently dh was the same though (and still is)
I had 2 friends and bubs abround recently and ds just kept getting all his toys snatched off him and he would go get another, get that stolen off him and then cry and cry for me to pick him up. he just wanted to sit on my lap. This weas in his own house with his own toys! He is the same if not worse at other peoples houses! We really should plan another meet up somewhere where we could let them play together. I would say my house even but would fear that everyone would have trouble getting here as it's not too public transport friendly... but I'd be up for it.

Beans33 · 24/03/2010 15:23

That is a really really low percentage, Rubes, when you think how many babies are born. I really wouldn't worry about it as they wouldn't offer the CS's at that stage if the risks were dangerously higher than 5 days later.

I think you'd be more stressed changing consultants again, plus the nearer you get to full term, the more you'd be worried about the baby putting in an appearance before you have the CS! They often whisk twins out at 36 weeks - they did for my friend and while they were little, they were 100% fine.

Try not to stress as it's not good for you!

poisondwarf · 24/03/2010 15:34

Cheeky post from me on my last day at work before I?m off to Lanzarote tomoz ? yippee!

wg as others have said, everyone is an expert on parenting before they have kids. I know I was. I remember my friend and I being horrified that her sister allowed her 1-year-old to have chips. We thought it was so outrageous! Needless to say I remember that every time DD and DS are cramming their gobs with chips.

Veggie bummer about the bikes.

Aube did you book a holiday in the end? The house you posted a link to looked amazing. I have lived near there (and in fact still have a house in Pego, about 25 minutes away I think) so know the area quite well. I have to say it?s not my favourite bit of Spain but there is some nice scenery round. I?ve spent many an Easter in Spain (including Andalucia) and I can?t remember any when the weather wasn?t at least pleasant (although in that region there can be a lot of rain during April).

daisy & kayz hope you?re okay if you?re lurking.

LadyT smashing scan result. Now spill about the sex! I have to say you and O seem such peas in a pod I can?t quite picture you with a little boy.

Oh and Rube there is no way with your pg brain that you are not going to slip up in the next 4 months and let us know if it?s a girl or a boy so you might as well just come clean right now. Sweaty tits = girl I reckon. Definitely.

Have just been out to get a card for our graduate trainee, who is moving on. I?ve just realised I am old enough to be her mother! How old does that make me feel? Perhaps not quite as old as the frankly horrifying discovery I made while doing my pre-holiday preparations the other day. May as well hang a Closing Down sign on my bikini bottoms?

Some good news from me: my brother (who some of you may remember has been undergoing treatment for bowel cancer) has had his second clear scan. Hurrah!

Have been reading (poonamigate ? what was all that about?) and would love to do a proper catch-up but realistically I?ve run out of time now (plus it?s too obvious to have Internet Explorer open while I write, and I?m such a jellyhead that I can?t remember what else I wanted to say to who) so this will have to be a quick hello.

Back from hols Easter Saturday but DS is 3 while we?re away so no doubt will be doing birthday type stuff with GPs when we get back so if I don?t manage to post, have a happy Easter everyone. Oh blimey just realised when I typed that that I have totally failed to eat even a single hot cross bun and now it?s too late. Oh well I?ll just have to eat my bodyweight in bunuelos to make up for it I suppose?

Time we organised another meet-up. Brighton, London or Cambridge anybody?

Beans33 · 24/03/2010 16:15

I've just been trawling through my old personal files at work and found the poem I wrote for my hen night. I'm actually quite funny - and I made myself cry. Total wetty.

I'm on for a meet up, definitely. in fact, anyone around on Saturday in Clapham Junction???! I'm home alone all day and if anyone fancied a coffee in the morning or a tea in the afternoon, would be lovely to see you!

Beans33 · 24/03/2010 16:16

PD - I forgot to say, rudely - I'm so chuffed for you re your brother! That's brilliant news - hurrah!

KiwiPanda · 24/03/2010 17:13

Beans I could do Sat in Clapham! Have just discovered that DH is working so actually would be really nice to have some plans/ lovely people to meet.

WG So glad you are feeling better. I tell you what, looking at people from our school is bound to put you in a bad mood, I find. Either they are TOTALLY mental, or running the world. Or both. And totally agree with what others have said re your friend - it's so easy to think you know what you are going to do pre-baby and then the reality hits .. For what it's worth I would definitely take DD to bed with us if it made her sleep more, it's just she finds it so exciting she starts whacking us around the head repeatedly and wanting to play at 3.30am. Never again!

If anyone wants a demonstration in total and embarassing opposite of shyness, do feel free to borrow DD for a while... She's never happier than when flirting with complete strangers and demanding hugs from them . You'd think we starve her of affection.

And talking of embarrassing, DH was dropping her off at nursery the other day. A woman he'd never met asked him, "Oh, is that little L?" "Err yes" he said, "Sorry, do I know you? Do you know my wife?" "Oh no" she said, I've never met any of you, it's just we've ALL heard about little L"... So my daughter is the "character" of the nursery, clearly. Apparently it's because she kisses all the little boys. When the teenage years approach, I will be assuming brace position ...

Beans33 · 24/03/2010 17:20

Cool - that would be GREAT kiwi - how do we go about sorting it out so I can give you my address etc, without being cyber-stalked??? Or maybe better that we could meet up in the station (like pre-baby meet if you were there?) and all trundle up to my place afterwards for tea and cakes!

Beans33 · 24/03/2010 17:20

PS your DD sounds gorgeous!!

LadyThompson · 24/03/2010 18:17

Hellooooooo! I have missed you all tons but it's been great to keep up on my phone, I am such an addict.

DP was in a trial and so not able to come to the scan but then it finished early so he zoomed down from Coventry in the car without telling me and, just as I was getting out of the cab outside the clinic he was there to open the door for me It was really lovely, such a great surprise. Well, I won't keep you in suspense ANY longer...they reckon it's 70% likely that it is another girl! Ha ha. So whoever guessed that was correct - I think Sybs and JJ had me having a boy? ZJ had a record of people's guesses I think. I guess I always saw myself with two girls, it's true, and the thought of a boy seemed very unknown territory, though I am still slightly sad that I will never know what it's like to have a boy. Hennyway, main thing is that everything seems to be ok and so no CVS this time. Oh, and they reckon I am 12 weeks 5 days, not 12 weeks, so v confused now. DP and I had a lovely time afterwards, gorgeous meal at one of my fave restaurants (Providores on Marylebone High Street), bought a couple of little treats, then back to mine to watch a daft film on Sky Box Office. A leisurely drive back today then lunch with DH's dad in Cotswolds pub up the road, with Alex James and family on next table. Just got back to read agent is finally submitting my book! Double hurrah. Let's hope some bugger buys it.

Someone was asking about booze in pregnancy and car seats - booze, I am having about two glasses a week and not worrying a jot about it, and nor would I if I had slightly more. Car seats - we are actually getting another rear facing one - DP is insisting on it even though the bigger ones are a bit £££ and not that easy to get hold of, as it's the safest way to travel. However, obviously she can't have one forever so at some stage he is going to have to come to terms with it.

Right: this is not a comprehensive round up, so forgivez-moi. I do love hearing from everybody, but am going to reply in a random fashion.

PD, that is SUCH good news about your bro. Flipping fantastic. Have a great time in Lanzarote, I am dead jealous. The thought of being able to read outside in a t shirt...heaven.

Beans, the Barbara Beryls are such a bunch of dicks. Giving your DD different yoghurt?? Heaven knows what they'd think of us - we drove past a Lidl today (have been using Aldi of late, with top ups from other stores) and did a huge shop there for about £50. It was great, all the fruit and veggies were lovely.

Invis - that pimp's home was quite something Do keep telling us about the job situation, I find it really interesting. So...what's the latest on the travelly one?

Rubes - cs date - you don't half get yourself into a lather, madam I had DD at 38.5 or 38.6 - can't remember. 38.2 is fine. They are cooked after 38 weeks, if not before. I would not advise 39.2 as it's a bit close for comfort...up to you though. Do whatever will make you fret the least

JJ - I read about your schools dilemma with interest. Primary we are ok, as new cottage opposite a super little school - small, C of E, good results. Secondary isn't good though - only secondary for miles around is gigantic comprehensive with results amongst the worst in the county. So we will either have to move to Buckinghamshire where they still have grammars (and a middle school system, which I like) or cough up for Oxford Girls, if our finances permit it. Put it this way, I would be prepared make a lot of sacrifices to enable us to do that. Anyway, no one is going to flame you on here for considering an independent girls' school (surely!) even if they are ideologically opposed to it, so don't worry. Would doubling your mortgage cost more than school fees? I guess I would continue putting money away and then make up your mind in a year. Tough, though. Talking about being ideologically opposed - good friend of DP's (whom I love) hates the idea of private education. He has four kids and lives in a posh house in Parliament Hill, and when it was time to get the oldest into secondary school, they rented out their house for a year and moved to the catchment area of the good state school they wanted. Once she was in, they moved back to their house. I don't think what he has done is any different to private school, as it is something only his wealth really enabled him to do. But I digress.

Veggie, yikes about the bikes I am really sorry to hear that. Glad Bruges was fun though.

Aubi - I am so pleased you have got some support at work that that particular person is being unreasonable. And I hope she comes to her senses and stops making your life difficult soon. Otherwise I will have to come down and give her what for

WG - I am so so sorry you are blue. I am two stone overweight and it didn't seem to be a barrier to conception - as others have said, I think it needs to be far more significant than an amount like that. Anyway, you are doing this amazing running, for which I hugely admire you. I have got a book in London called something like Fit for Fertility - do you want to borrow it? It's really all about particular vitamins and food stuffs which get you in the right mode for conception, that sort of jazz - worth a leaf through? As for your mate, well...I think it was a rubbish thing to say when she knows you are still bf, though I am sure completely tactless and not meant to hurt. I would call her on it. Not in an aggressive way, but quietly and gently tell her you felt judged. She will be sorry I am sure and you won't have to worry about it any more then. I hate to say it but it is the sort of idiotic thing I might have said years before I had kids (but never in front of someone I knew was bf). I hadn't got a bleedin' clue I still don't want to bf but I have an immense respect for those who do and feel so strongly that people have a right to make choices for their kids and not be judged. It works both ways - months ago someone said to me on here that she would like to forcibly kidnap my DD and bf her as I was doing her such a disservice by ff her. It's so hurtful when people make remarks about feeding choices (in fact, any choices really) but you just carry on as you want to and flip everyone else the bird as YOU know what is right for your family, no one else. Money - hmmm, it's hard. Can't help with this one as my bank account will be down to zero by early next year and we can't manage on DP's salary with all our commitments, so don't have it reconciled in my own head. DH - you could try having a constructive chat...or else ride it out. But you still love each other and that is to be treasured...

Right, getting very tired now and the heating has gone off and I am cold, so that's enough for now. Oh yeah - and Trace, fwiw I think you are a brave and thoughtful person (that's very much how you come across) so I doubt your CPN wants rid of you.

Bet I've crossposted with tons of people...

LadyThompson · 24/03/2010 18:35

Oh and WG - you can go on Metformin to regulate your cycle (I'm on it for insulin resistance, 'cept I don't take it when preggers as my obs doesn't want me to) and also do you want my Clearblue fertility monitor? I have a load of sticks as well. I bought it to use as contraception but it always said I was low risk ... SO not true, especially in the cycle I conceived in, in which I ovulated twice of course but I think others have got on better with them than I.

Veggiemummy · 24/03/2010 18:41

OMG ladyT WTF!!!!! What strange mental women! Seriously people should proof read their own messages and have a think about whether they sound like psychos before posting them!!!!!

PD I'm really pleased to hear your bro has had another clear scan & also pleased to hear your having a break!

Kiwi & beans v. jealous of your meet up @ the Clap!

I've gotta go read to DS1 but thought Id just thank you for your sympathies on our bike but wanted to let you know there has been a happy ending. We went out today and found a lovely bike shop and have ordered a lovely red moederfiets (mother bike). It is infinitely more comfortable to ride with DS2 in front of me as it us a little longer and has turn up handle bars and fits DS1 nicely on the back. I was a little about having a mummy bike as they look...well...a but mummyish but it's quite good very sturdy and has drum brakes and barrel gears. Also when I've finished using it as a mummy bike I can change the handle bars and turn it into a beach cruiser! Also I've also got my Bianchii for when I feel like being a proper cyclist. I have to wait 2 weeks for it too arrive now. Also DH is going to get a fixed wheel bike which has always wanted, perfect for this country.

Also we've decided to stay here until August next year, it makes more sense financially and for DS1's schooling as he will go into the next montessori level at 6 so better for him. So anyone fancy a Dutch holiday!!!

OP posts:
Turniphead1 · 24/03/2010 18:54

A quick one - as I am very behind on work and we are now going to Portugal..

WG your post made me well up that your chum was being so....thoughtless at best. Everyone has said it better than I could, but you should be giving yourself a jolly good pat on the back for all your choices with M. You are a super mum (as indeed is everyone on this thread...although I may be biased). It is SOOO easy to be full of theory etc - let her walk a mile in your shoes.

PD I am delighted by your news about your brother. Have a lovely time in Lanzarote and birthday kisses to your DS. 3!!

ladyT such lovely news about your (probably) second daughter. I am one of 2 girls and love it. I guessed that DD2 was going to be a girl (based on 32 week scan that said she wasn't as ginormous as DS - very scientific not) and went a bit mad at Rachel Riley (just up the road from Providores...yum yum). By mad, I mean I bought one dress and cardie for DD1 but justified it on basis that I would then have a second girl who would get a turn out of it. Not that I am putting bad thoughts in your head....

beans I remember about the "taking" friend from our antenatal thread too. Glad you made it up though.

Rubes hope you are ok and the c/s date issue. Its a worry wanting to not leave it too late and get the registrar (altho am sure that would be fine if needs be!)

spotofcheerfulness · 24/03/2010 18:59

Ooh, veggie, that's great about your staying there a bit longer, will def come with T and DP sometime. Good news on the bikes too. .

LadyT, so so glad the scan went well, and that your DP was able to turn up and surprise you. I had no doubt it was a girl although I suppose you do still have a 30% chance of things being t'other way. I have only ever seen myself with boys, so although I can't ever imagine having a girl I'm sure I too would be a bit wistful about what if....

about your DD, Kiwi being the talk of the nursery. What a lovely thing to be known for though!

poison, that's great about your bro, really good news. Have a wonderful break in Lanzarote.

Am also up for a shy babies meetup (please all come to Brighton!) - imagine though, out of them all one would end up crying/clinging and one is us would be like "even in a room full of shy babies mine's the worst!"

Rubena · 24/03/2010 19:04

Awwwww I can't do Saturday meetups - bloody work!

Lady! So excited for you! To be honest I can only see you with girls as well - very polite well behaved one's
Yes I do get very worked up about things I shouldn't! DH has basically said not to worry as they wouldn't have offered the date if it wasn't a good idea. I'll mention my concerns to the new consultant when I meet with her in a few weeks and hopefully get reassured. It's silly what the internet can do to one!
I can totally believe what that stupid person on MN said about bf - typical, but I won't get started

Hello Poison! Oh come on, you can't expect to swan on in here once in a blue moon and expect me to reveal all although you're probably right - my big motor mouth will probably let it slip sooner or later! Have a fantastic holiday and come and tell us all about it when you get back if you get time. Fantastic news about your db too [thumbsup]

Veggie great news on the bikes I hope ds1 is feeling ok about it all now and yes I'd like a Dutch holiday at some point!

Meetups anytime for me except Fri/Sat that is until the end of May, and then pretty open Happy to go to Cambridge or Brighton or people can come to mine.

Turniphead1 · 24/03/2010 19:06

Veg I xposted but glad there was a silver lining on the bike thing (I have this weird thing that there are no criminals in most foreign countries...well apart from the US ...and find it hard to imagine prisons in places like spain and holland). Glad you have a bit of certainty on the length of your stay.

Rubena · 24/03/2010 19:12

Spot cross posted - and Turnip -
I'm up for Brighton - just say when and we'll organise something

Turnip - yeah I think i'm over thinking it - dH seems fine about the date but it will be in the back of my mind so I will mention it when I meet with the next consultant anyway. Where's Sybs? Hasn't she had 3? Part of my fear in planning it too close to due date is the Spinal as the consultant explained to me in detail today the reasons that people have a harder time than others with them - one is if the Mum is really overweight and the local doesn't go deep enough (and he meant really overweight) and the other is if you are contracting as it's hard to get position right and keep still etc so that bothered me too! basket case I know. Oh I'm going to stop thinking about it!

Veggiemummy · 24/03/2010 19:36

Oh Rubs I do feel for you. Much as I would love another baby I hate all that uncertainty. I do feel quite confident that things will be fine, I think those stats were probably based on emergency CS where there were probably other factors. By 38 weeks the lungs are well and truely developed, and these days while dating isn't an exact science they can be pretty close with their EDD guess. If you feel you are really unsure or you want just a bit more control of this you could ask if it would be possible to keep baby low and close to your body when they cut the cord & to wait a bit longer before cutting it. These are things that they do with premmie babies to reduce the chances of respiratory problems. Waiting 30 seconds before cutting the cord has reduced resp & hypoxia probs by a huge amount as the baby gets a good dose of the mums oxygenated blood before whipping him away. Keeping them closer to the level of the mother's heart also reduces the chances of losing good blood through gravity. Again it's done brilliant things for neonatal recovery.

But also I would speak to the Consultant about her own experiences of CS and her stats. Unfortunately in the US there are quite high levels of physician induced prematurity but I really don't think it's as prevalent in the UK.

Forgot to say no we didn't have insurance. Unfortunately, house insurance doesn't cover bikes outside the home here. We seem to have every other possible insurance (we have third party insurance on the boys!) but not bike insurance as the insurance broker DH went to at out bank didn't do bike insurance.

OP posts:
Veggiemummy · 24/03/2010 19:41

Oh and I was thinking on the theme of WGs friend who was a little (lot) judgey with her BF thing, what prebaby belief did you have that has returned to bite you in the butt. Mine is my opinions around babys taking solids and feeding. I believed that you should be very firm when feeding and babies who were picky eaters were like that because the parents weren't firm enough and pandered to them to much. Well didn't that one bite me in the behind. I have the worlds pickiest eater in DS1. I should say worlds worst but a bit of a nightmare!

OP posts:
spotofcheerfulness · 24/03/2010 19:48

I had that misconception too!
Also that formula was the devil's work (stopped BFing at 8 weeks).
That you just have to say no and your toddler will stop doing something. And if they continue you have a problem with authority and respect .
That I would try and get back to work as soon as possible as SAHMs were letting the side down (only went back 2 v flexible days when T was over 1).
That there was a right and a wrong way to do things...

spotofcheerfulness · 24/03/2010 19:49

Oh -and that T would never taste chocolate/chips/processed food in general until he was at school. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

LadyThompson · 24/03/2010 19:58

Rubes, I know someone who has had 4 sections - she is a genito-urinary consultant and has never batted an eyelid at any of it. I think still with 38.2 for now and I bet the new consultant allays all your fears in a few weeks.

I am up for Brighton meet up - lovely. AND Cambridge AND London. Ha.

Turnip, I bought some shoes from Mascaro, some face goo from Fresh and some pyjama bottoms from The White Company. Very very very naughty. I am the original spendy wendy and seeing as my income is scant and erratic, it is actually bad. But I was celebrating. Oh, and I also bought DD a new dress and DP a recipe book. And I bought a little set for the new DD [grin (from H&M though, so quite modest) I had to, it had rabbits all over it. It is actually unisex so I recommend it to all the preggos as it is VVVVV cute - bib, hat, vest, long sleeved sleepsuit etc.

New bike sounds smart, Veg. And hurrah to another year in the civilised flatlands.

Just remembering more stuff now - smashing about your Ds's assembly, Katie (did you cry? I know I am going to be one of those ones desperately trying not to weep).

What else? Ah, I can remember a walking baby ZJ (how lovely) and Kiwi finally had a good night and, yes, Effie, how is your mum? And Jam, is your household illness free? Love to Daisy and Kayz if they are lurking (and all others of course!)

Spot, what's the latest on the book? And how are you feeling about Brighton now?

I am going to have tofu and green salad for supper, to make up for the excesses of the last couple of days Veggie, I thought of you when I saw the Galaxy hot chocolate in the clinic yesterday, but I couldn't face it. However, DP had one on your behalf Ooh, and to anyone else who knows the FMC, they have started doing 3D scans as a matter of course, even at 12 weeks. So I have some 3D pics. However...the poor little thing looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon at this stage, or perhaps an extra from a Stephen Spielberg film. Er...a little disconcerting.

Verso · 24/03/2010 20:04

Ah - I tried to catch up, but you lot are so bloody chatty it's hopeless! Caught a few gems en route: poonamigate. No. Really. What?! You guys are all so lovely - how did THAT HAPPEN? Really glad you didn't delete the thread (chortles at uncharacteristically demure title).

Beans - respect to the scrota. I should get on this thread more often - you have made me smile after the first half of a really rubbish week at work (hopefully now improving).

Sybs - such SWEET stuff you said about me - and completely untrue. Had a fab time last week - let's not make it so long next time! So sorry to hear you were poorly though. Hope you're feeling better now.

So... did I catch something about a Saturday meet up? This Saturday? Clapham? Would so love to meet you all again... and see the bumps! Can I invite myself despite having been off the thread for so long??

Rubena I haven't read everything you posted about the elective cs date - but DD2 was an elective and was completely healthy in every way. She was due on Dec 8th (hence me being on this thread) but born on Nov 25th. Tbh I can't remember how many weeks that made her and I do remember having the same anxieties about it as you, but she was/is completely fine.

LadyThompson · 24/03/2010 20:05

Agree with embarrassing preconceptions around babies and motherhood before having kids...

I really cherish the fact that motherhood has made me more tolerant in a myriad of ways. And so admiring of those who seem to be doing a good job.