January 2009- Help! A toddler ate my baby!

[hackneyzoo]

I told you it was a lame title.....

Pat, I've posted it! Right off to pack for Devonia.

evening

hope all you ladies are ok

have had a quiet aft
so tired here dd2 decided to chat from 11-12pm last nite joys of motherhood
will look forward 2 my bed tonite
i ordered dd1s bed sheets for new bed from vertbaudet new bed is coming on fri so excited. vertbaudet emailed 2 say that one was out of stock andt hat other one would be 7-10 days.
keeping vertbaudet order for one sheet and have ordered x2 sheets from next being delivered tom @ least she will have a sheet in time

i watched one born every minute really enjoyed those little babies

Lenni, that trailer just made me cry - absolutely no way I could watch the film!

Have bookmarked that thread, looks interesting, but am not sure I'm capable of unconditionally positive parenting. (Old habits die hard.)

I often wish I could be more of a 'don't sweat the small stuff' kind of parent. Truth is, I just don't have it in me, I am a perfectionist control-freak by nature. I do try, but sometimes wonder if that sends out really confusing signals to the dc's even though the fundamentsl rules/boundaries are pretty much set in concrete.

As parents of an child with ASD we tend to go to incredible lengths to arrange things in such a way as to avoid meltdowns and traumas and give him choices that can only have positive outcomes for him and for everyone else, but he's always ready to surprise us with new and exciting things to freak out about.

Interestingly, it was during a conversation with dh last night that I realised I'm not as bad as I generally think I am. He criticised me for getting angry with ds and stated the obvious by saying words to the effect 'that's not the best way to handle him you know'. I then pointed out that he isn't there for the 90+% of the time that I have the dcs and manage to keep my cool and handle things appropriately (of course I then listed all the flashpoints that day that I had managed sort amicably). Its so easy for him to come home, witness me getting angry after a very long hard day and get all Mr Judgey McJudgey pants on me. Fortunately for him, he did back down and say I was right.

Honestly though, nothing he could say could make me feel worse about my parenting skills than I already do. I knew having children was a hard job, but nothing truly prepares you for exactly how hard.

Still, I wouldn't change or be without any one of them for the world.

Lenni, it is a reflective/action thing I am doing...am trying to come up with some ideas around ADHD/ EBD as the majority of students I teach have issues surrounding these areas..Your research/teaching sounds great, are you excited at the prospect of doing a PHD or terrified?

DS was up really late last night too, along with most of the babies on this thread it seems.

Tink...glad you had successful shopping...am going to go and have a look at the sheets on verbaudet as have a discount code for them.

have a good trip to devon 120.

moose...you are right, being a parent is bloody hard...no one tells you that before hand...they just smile knowingly! Glad Dh was supportive, and saw that you were right.

have updated Jude's thread, we are back in GOSH tomorrow eve as far as we know. So have a half day at work tomorrow and friday will have to take off.

Tree says hello via one of my pictures on facebook - she is missing us and computer being fixed so should be back soon. She also called DD cute so must be disillusioned from lack of MN time.

Parenting hard eh, nah it's a walk in the park And just when you think something has actually gone right for a change something else comes along and totally guilt trips you and makes you feel like a terrible mother. Or they are ill or just in a horrid frame of mind and everything goes wrong. The thing I like least about being a parent is the effect it has on my relationship with DH. BC (before children) we were united on every front, but now there are quite a lot of parenting things that divide us. We actively have to dispute and resolve our issues over how to raise the kids, even petty things like who should get up in the night become talking points where as BC we just didn't have any conflict.

Ooo, shopping accidents. Yay.

HKZ - that is the best kind of research to do ime, esp around a job and kids as it is something you can get your teeth into and the report will be mainly writing and justifying what you did rather than any kind of intense reading/lit review. My best advice would be to get a notebook and start writing down your ideas as you think of them and record your thought processes as you construct the project, that way you can use your notes as a prompt when you are writing it up. Another thing I would do in your position is talk to the Head and see if there is any crossover between what the school currently needs and what you want to get out of the project. If there is then you may get some of the work done for you and you will certainly get a bit of recognition for your contributions. As for what to look at, definitely go for something that informs your own practice, you'll find it more interesting and the data collection will be straightforward since you can do it while teaching!

As for the teaching/PhD I physically shake and feel sick at the mere thought of it, but am sure I would be absolutely fine. The PhD thing is something I have always wanted to do but it is a major commitment and I'm not certain DH is ready to take on more household responsibility. We'll see. I need to learn to spell as well, I am projecting all of my anxieties onto my spelling issues for some reason

Books - have been meaning to say for ages, I'm really glad you like the Ergo, I love mine still. Sadly DD is getting a little heavy for it now, but DS loves back carry and side carry. Side carry is just like having a lovely snuggly hug I think

I love the title HKZ, just posting to bookmark now but will be back tomorrow, probably in the evening as we're celebrating Conor's birthday (3 February) tomorrow as family - dp forgot to book leave on the day. We're also having a party on 21 March.

Lenni- Well my mentor/line manager/assistant head in charge of inclusion is already trying to palm off about 3 or the areas he has been told to look/amend policy on by the head. he is well known for his delegation skills! I know there is a lot of work that needs to be done around behaviour policy and SEN, making it wholly inclusive/setting up clear boundaries which can also be flexible etc So might work around that as a whole and focus in on ADHD and aspects of EBD.
I am with you on the spelling, I was an ace speller before I started teaching and think I have deskilled myself, after seeing so many wrong and bizarre spellings I have no idea what is right any more.

Books, I love those slippers, wish DS was a girl so he could have some...am a sucker for pretty flowery stuff.

I have a carrier similar to the ergo called a BECO, it's a second hand one and a bit knackered, so am on the lookout for a second hand ergo... I still sometimes carry DD on my back in the Kari Me, but she also is a bit of a lump these days!

Elki, have a lovely day tomorrow, have you got the day off work? Happy belated birthday to c too!

Also, I have a quick question, those of you that have an iphone what is so great about them? Can you use th einternet easily and watch things lke iplayer and 4od? As am thinking of investing in one to keep me entertainted while in hospital with Jude....oh, and most importantly can you MN on your iphone?

good luck hkz - dont have an iphone soz!!

have done all cleaning,put washing on and made our bed so allowed on here now

exciting about my parcels expecting - book for dd1,boden pjs and bed sheets

HKZ - I have an iphone, you can watch youtube on it and internet is pretty much as functional as on a PC. Definitely can MN and use fb easily. Only thing I don't like about it is it's battery only lasts a day (probably because I use it too much!) and copying and pasting is a big hassle. I couldn't be without it now though. I MN in the car while DH driving now, great stuff!

Behaviour policy would be a really great area to look at as there are so many aspects of inclusion in there, it has whole school impact which is great for your CV and there are quantifiable outcomes which is pretty rare in educational research. Usually all data is subjective and as such open to different interpretation. There is also absolutely tonnes of guidance and research on behaviour policy so you would find a lot to use for background - too much perhaps. There is a book compiled by Burke/Grosvenor called 'The School I'd Like' - it is just data from children on what they want from school. It is fascinating since most of what they ask for is increased flexibility in schools. The only caveat is you will probably find as product of there being so much material a lot of people will cover behaviour and as result you will need to reach a higher standard to get the same mark compared to if you studied a less well represented area.

Boden PJs yay! Now that is very posh Tink!

Morning all

Bum just hit a chair for the first time since getting out of bed this morning, so I also feel entitled to some MN time now Tink.

Good luck today/tomorrow HKZ and J. Will be thinking of you both.

Books, how is dd? Any better?

I got slightly more sleep last night, but still feel like pants.

I'm feeling guilty that I haven't got dh anything decent for his birthday next Monday. I have had t-shirts made from the boys out of pictures they drew especially for the occasion, but am panicking that they aren't going to arrive in time. Ds1 drew a cool skull which I have had put into negative so that it can be printed on a black long sleeved top and ds2 drew a really complicated picture of a robot, so I've havd that printed on a white tshirt. All I've got him from me is some energy mints (they contain ginseng and guarana) from Firebox to keep him awake in meetings (he's struggling with that at the moment) and the Pride and Predjudice and Zombies book.

Anyone got any ideas for something else I could get him before Monday?

I also need something for Valentines day. We always say we are not going to do it, but then he always gets me chocolates or something. We really should celebrate it as we met and started going out at a valentines party 24 years ago!

Hi all...

MM t-shirts sound lovely and really thoughtful - you could always do a nice card with 'presents to follow' message, as I am sure he will understand that it's not your fault they are late.

No Valentines' ideas though... bottle of champagne, and kids at your Mum's for the night?

hkz good luck for tonight/ tomorrow. Thoughts on iphone... it really is wonderful as a mini-computer, but beware that you can't use iplayer/ 4od unless you are somewhere with wireless broadband - the phone connection alone is not enough. But you can download stuff or transfer movie files from your computer. I really like the photos too. But agree with lenni that battery is completely crap - it's how they make them so sleek and thin I guess - needs recharging every day.

Just got back from our music class. Am not feeling quite the enthusiasm I had pre-work for baby activities. Especially as N was more interested in the computer in the corner of the room than pretending to be a train ... Am just feeling a bit knackered I guess after many days of solo baby care. N asleep now though so might read a book rather than do anything domestic. Beautiful here though - clear sunny skies, sheep grazing quietly, spring is in the air...

Dog - have you been tested for glandular fever? Best wishes to your Dad (and Mum) for a speedy recovery.

MissJ - I totally understand your lack of enthusiasm for baby activites. I love spending time with my children - absolutely believe it is precious - but it is so boring when you are doing the same menial tasks day in day out without any opportunity for a break. I have my nephew two days a week too so have 3 to look after and that is hard work as well as very mind numbing! The warm weather makes a difference once you can get outside again and go for walks and things, plus once they begin to chat they are better company. But I think you do need to find other ways to stretch yourself, I get quite depressed if I don't have some outlet away from children.

Hmm, Valentines, best get a card. tbh it's not an occasion I have a great deal of respect for, but like Moose's DH mine always buys flowers or something so I feel obliged to reciprocate! I'd rather have champagne and a night away from the kids though

Ahhhhh, champagne and a night away from the kids....bliss....would DH have to be there too? Don't really do all the valentines/mothers/fathers day stuff...partly out of laziness and partly cos it all seems a bit vacuous and commercial.... obviously will acknowledge them when Dcs are older and have made stuff at school for the various occasions (bah humbug....I'm only saying this cos DH never EVER remembers any of these occassions I'm not bitter though...honest)

MissJ and Lenni I'm with you both on the monotony of baby activities. I do like going just as something to do every now and then, but hate it on the days when I just can't be arsed to make conversation for the sake of it with people I don't know that well, especially if ALL we talk about is babies. Roll on summer and hanging out in the great outdoors.

D0G, grrr at being run down. i take echanchea twice a day (drops diluted in water) seems to keep a lot of colds and stuff at bay... but don't know if it really works or if my immune symstem has become super hardcore after teaching germ ridden kids for years! Want to hear you birth story again...come on D0g!

Well, I just checked with 02 and I can't upgrade to Iphone for another year...got mildly excited for a minute.

DH has just gone off to work, unfortunately there was no way he could get out of it as he is conducting some uni exams...so have to take J in by myself. Setting off about half three. Am definitely feeling very wobbly today. Spent last night reading blogs of children who have had chemo at GOSH (which was a stupid thing to do) and saw all these chuby little kids end up looking really ill when they were having their chemo . J is so healthy at the moment I am really dreading the next few weeks. I guess it will be ok once everything has started though. Really miss my mum at times like this. Anyway, will keep repating 'sthe sooner its started, the sooner J is better' mantra and take a deep breath. Perhaps a spot of internet shopping will cheer me up.

eeek...just had rather a large shopping accident courtesy of Nordic Kids... Feel much better now

HKZ - not sure if you are still here but I really wish could just come and give you a hug. I know it is going to be so hard but it really is going to be over quickly and he'll never even remember this, he'll just grow up a healthy little boy. If he is treated in 6 months then that is just twice as long as Dog has been pregnant.

Please stop googling now though for your own sanity, you have enough to deal with without loading up on other people's emotions iyswim. Every day is one day closer to it being over.

Yay to shopping accident - love nordic kids. x-posted

Dog, I use [http://www.laneshealth.com/products/index.cfm?ccs=179 Lanes tea tree]] shampoo and conditoner on Lily and it seems to keep the nits at bay as they are a constant occurance at nursery, also use a nitty gritty hair comb. I just buy the shampoo in th elocal chemist.
I think J is now going to have the chemotherapy instead of interferon, I was hoping for the interferon as he would not have to go to hospital for that, could just have the injections at the gps. How is your Dad by the way? The operation went well? It will be a massive relief to get them back I bet. Howo is your Mum's heart too?

Lenni, thats what I keep thinking...we'll tell him about this when he's older and he won't have nay memory (apart from looking at the millions of wrinkles that have started to appear on my face from worry!)

lanes tea tree shampoo link for dog