Dec 08 babies are nearly one - PARTY TIME!

[EffiePerine]

As I accidentally filled up the old thread I thought I'd better start a new one

hi all,
I've been on a training day today which has finished early, so I've got a spare hour before I have to pick up Lucy - hurray - time to catch up on mn do the ironing
daisy I wish there was something I could do to help. Please let us know if there are any practical things that we can do for you. And keep coming here and venting, because I worry that you have so many people's feelings to consider - please don't neglect yourself. Let us support you.
kiwi I could have written your sleep post. P has been the same. last night she woke at 9, and she wouldn't sleep even after both boobs, just yelled, so gave calpol, continued yelling, so brought her in for a cuddle with me, where she lay still for about 3 minutes, then sat up and grinned at dh and I! We put her back in her cot and she finally went to asleep at 12ish. Then woke (and fed) at 2 and 4 and 6.30. Have no useful tips but I can give you an e-hug of understanding
beans sorry that you're having such difficulty with the back to work thing. I found it quite hard too (much harder than with dd1) and often feel sad that she's having fun with someone else and I'm missing out on her smiles and cuddles, but actually the fact that I'm enjoying my job has helped a lot, and also I spoil her with extra special cuddles when I pick her up, which feels wonderful. I guess you can keep reminding yourself that there is an end in sight... BTW have you had your first scan yet?
I'm a bit confused - last week when I ordered my happy pills I asked if I could have more than a month at at time (maternity exemption about to run out so would rather pay less often). Then I got a phonecall from the surgery asking me to make an appointment because they'd received a letter form the hospital saying I should be reducing my dose. I thought it a little odd that that would be decided without me knowing, so I asked my CPN about it last week. She had no idea and said for me not to reduce, and she rang the GP today to tell them I need to stay on my current dose. The GP then said that it was not to do with the dose, it was because I had asked for more than a month - which they aren't willing to do (which doesn't fill me with confidence about how stable they think I am!). Anyway, that's fine but if that was the issue, then why did a receptionist mention a reducing dose? All that did was confuse me about the source of the letter and worry me that someone thinks I should be reducing, and that I must be really rubbish if I'm not reducing as fast as I should. Grr. Anyway, GP and CPN have said I can feel free to cancel tonight's appointment as it's sorted now, but I think I'll go anyway and get my trout pout looked at. My painful mouth is really putting me off eating - not a good thing for a hungry horse like me
Right I really am going to do some ironing now. The crappy thing is I know the washing basket is full to the brim already, so when I've ironed this lot, there'll be more to do by tomorrow...and on it goes for the rest of my life....

Hi trace - thanks for kind words - and sure will be fine. frist scan on 18th when I'll be 13 weeks, with any luck. Feels like an age away. Happy pill business sounds confusing to say the least!

Rubena - my DH (and I use the D sparingly!!) also implied I was lazy and when I said that after 2nd baby it wasn't worth me going back to work with childcare costs and that I want to be a full-time Mum, he asked me if I would say that I was work shy!!! Clearly that's exactly what he thinks of me, which drives me mad! I don't think he really understands motherhood at all. Never mind. He is, after all, doing his Ironman, regardless of us having a 5 week old baby at the time of it!!! I only hope he doesn't expect me to go and watch it when I'll probably still be bleeding etc!

trace - I know what you mean re the washing and the ironing. It's heinous isn't it???!

SL - luckily only 3 days a week. Phew! Couldn't do a full week, I don't think!

Hello girls

Rubes, Beans - sympathies on the rubbish husbands. Mine is being spectacularly useless. I was at work all weekend and not a wash done, an item o clothing put away, a weekly shop even contemplated. On Sat night he moaned because he'd been ferrying the children around all day to their activities and yest he was stuck in because of the rain. Poor lamb. I'd put him on Ebay, but I don't think ther would be any takers. Perhaps freecycle would be better.

Am so tired. M's birthday tomorrow. Got him second hand toy garage and various other bits. Am sure he will love the wrapping...

Off to collect younger 2 from nursery. Back later.

Ooh, happy birthday for tomorrow Sybil! V exciting!

Ebay is a great idea. Although not sure I'd get any bids either! Have been trying to sell my lovely wedding dress on Ebay and no one will buy it - and it's a steal! Does anyone know someone looking for a size 12 wedding dress? Classically beautiful etc! It's a standard size 12 as bought it off the peg. If you do, will post a pic on my profile!

xx

daisy - you don't sound self indulgent at all, just in a very tough situation that doesn't leave much room for your needs at the moment. Considering all that is happening, you sound remarkably under control. Anway, I raise a belated virtual glass here in honour of your birthday. And more than glad to read you vent anytime.

Kiwi - sounds like you are having a pretty gruelling time of it. No solutions, but I wonder whether new sleep problems/general grumpiness might also have something to do with separation anxiety kicking in? DS (almost the same birthday - 20th Dec) is noticably unhappy lately about being plonked down during the day and makes his displeasure loudly known! He is still pretty good at sleeping, but I can totally imagine a newly anxious child who was a relatively light sleeper waking up in the night and having a wail about not having you there when she might otherwise be rolling over and going back to sleep. If its all a bit too distressing to leave her to it at the mo, maybe just think in terms of givi ng her reassurance and settling her down?
On your work project - sorry your cover made a mess of it, but at least you can be sure they will be glad to have you back

LadyT - welcome back from hols, hope it was suitably fabulous and a very memorable first birthday for O.

Bit exhausted here. Had interview this morning, which was kind of hard to read, but I feel like I did my bit and they gave me an hour and a half, so hopefully encouraging. Even so, they'll be quite a few more hoops to jump if it moves on, so will see. DS is very cute at the moment - he's apparently been blowing kisses to all the ladies....

Oh, and belated happy birthday to baby urbane and happy birthday for tomorrow to baby syb and baby jj

Just popping on to wish all the late November/ early December babies a happy birthday, I can't believe Lily is 1 on Thursday, where has the time gone?
I'm still being as useless as ever at posting and things are still a bit manic in RL. I'm not coping well with school runs, housework, 'real' work, riding, walking the dog, PTA stuff etc. Think I may have taken on too much recently, but not sure which is going to give, perhaps the school run .
Anyway, hope you are all well, sorry to hear about the sleep problems, having a few of those ourselves at the moment, and illnesses.
Will be on again soon. x

Morning.

Syb Hope M has a great birthday. I can not believe it is December already.

Hope all the Dec 1st babies have a lovely day. I can't wait for DS2's birthday, though I think I have gone mad by doing 2 parties on the same day.

Hope everyone is ok. At work at 7. Zzzzzzzzzz

Off to start new job in a mo after school run but happy birthday to syb & *jj&'s LO's!

Hello fabulous girls

Happy Birthday to dear little M, that little skyrocket baby JJ and missed Urbane?s DD the other day so a kiss to her too.

We had a lovely time in Luxor, it?s full of treasures and we went to the Valley of the Kings on O?s birthday and we saw the tomb of Tutankhamun. We even saw his mummy as it is out of its casket for a bit. That was weird. His toes were all black and curly. But I suppose we can?t blame him for that after 4000 years. The weather was only mid twenties so nice for O and in any case, with her morning and afternoon naps sunbathing was limited so I am not very brown and DP looks paler than when he went . Some great tips from Katie (thank you) ? I especially loved the Winter Palace?we didn?t have tea but managed a couple of early evening cocktails. Apart from all the amazing sites, a sunset felucca ride was a wonderful experience. The attention paid to O actually got a bit out of hand. You will all think I am exaggerating but walking near a square, about ten people ran over to take pictures and kiss her and it soon swelled to about forty people jostling the pushchair and O started to cry. It was a bit scary. DP was filming it until it got out of hand and we had to wrestle her away. She has got a rotten cold and I spent the week with one too and also with a hideous cough. Blimmin? marvellous. We got back about half two this morning as the flight was delayed and then we had to stop in Venice. DD was terrifically well behaved on both the flights, which was great in one way but the fact that she was difficult when I went to Italy in the summer makes DP think her good behaviour is all down to him, which is slightly annoying

But enough about me.

DaisyD ? how did it go today? I am so sorry your birthday was a washout and doubly sorry that things are so tough for your DH and his family. I know it feels like a death sentence and I am so sympathetic but like you say, she has got to fight. Statistics are only a guide. They are not a prescription for what will happen. Even if you are in a situation where there are only (say) 10% of people who live longer than a year with that particular stage and type of cancer, you do all you can to be in that 10%. Take every traditional treatment offered, every non-traditional remedy?you just never know. Any news on whether she can take that new drug? I know everyone is reeling at the moment and understandably but it is not only practical to draw up a battle plan but it will make everyone feel better too. If they aren?t happy with the NHS, any chance of booking a private consultation (just one, not a course of treatment or anything) with the best cancer specialist for her particular type? You could just get their advice on drugs and new developments and stuff?Anyway, I will message you on Facebook because there is lots more I want to say about this.

Beans ? how was work? I bet when you see your little DD it will reassure you that she has been fine but I do sympathise because when I thought I was going back to work I felt worried about DD even though I knew it would really be fine. The whole wanting to be a SAHM when money doesn?t really permit it is a problem, I agree. Is there a compromise (part time?) Just to be sexist for a moment, it is very irritating when men aren?t very sympathetic. It is something with which DP often struggles and indeed, a related matter, he has had an empathy bypass. (However, I don?t want to moan about him too much as we have just had a really super holiday and not one cross word). Do you think you have enough time alone together? That isn?t a random remark ? we went out for a posh meal for DP?s birthday the night before we went away and concluded that more ?dates? are a must because if you constantly see each other in the home context it strikes me that complacency can set in, particularly with men, and this solidifies lack of sympathy etc. I must add that these are my private conclusion, not ones he shares! Well, I could go on about relationship issues all day but I am sure you have had enough of my cod psychology

Invis ? well done about the interview. Great, now the ball is rolling!

Effie ? any news on your application?

Aubi, I was so relieved to hear your DD2 was ok. As to tantrums, I was terribly amused to hear about her tour de force. We have had a few here (she shakes her fists and gives us murderous glances, but not yet the full blown, traditional, fist beating the floor paddy gone postal) and they really, really make us laugh which I am sure is not the correct response.

Rubi ? I don?t even know who is left in the jungle so I need to find out what?s been going down while I have been away! Remind me where you are from? My Australian geography is a little poor.

Trace ? my dear, sorry about the muddle over your meds. It must be very anxious making. It doesn?t seem fair to me to effectively penalise you just because you didn?t want to keep forking out for a prescription every month. Hope you can sort it out.

Kayz ? oh no, do you have floods? It is thick frost here. I went away and it was autumn and after one week it?s all Christmas trees and ice cold.

Kiwi ? sorry you are suffering with your sleep. No decent advice, just plenty of sympathy

JJ, it is so sporting of your DH to do our Secret Santa. I will email later. Is it for mums rather than babies? And £10? Sorry if this has already been covered. I think it should definitely be for mums, we all deserve a prize for being super fabulous. Sorry work are still cocking up your money. Apart from forgetting what you do, how are you finding it?

Ooh, Veggie, I love Antwerp. Did I say that? Have you been to your Aussie Women club yet? Loving hearing about your adventures.

I know I have missed people but I have to feed DD. It was lovely sipping drinks on the banks of the Nile in a sundress?.but I am more than happy in woolly socks, making a vegetable casserole and looking forward to the worst kind of ITV tonight. I have to dash off to London tomorrow which is not ideal but my gas meter is being moved and I have to be there and then I have a never ending merry-go-round of people that I am overdue to see and things get hectic. Hope you are all cosy.

Sorry for epic post - one more thing - PD, how was Lanzarote and your birthday?

Hello everyone,

Sorry to hear there are so many non-sleeping/standing babies. I feel like I have a newborn again. It must be teeth as DD's cheek is bright red and her bottom is very sore. I feel I can't leave her when she is in pain so keep getting up and finding nothing I do really soothes her anyway.

trace I usually have a prescription certificate pre-paid whatsit (sorry brain not functioning but I hope you get the picture) and when it is due to run out I order one prescription, wait 2 weeks and order another. Talk of dose lowering must have been unsettling.

daisy Belated birthday wishes. Sorry things have been so rough. It sounds like your in laws need some professional support. I can't recommend macmillan nurses enough. Hope the job went well.

ladyT Sounds like a wonderful holiday. What a way for O to spend her birthday!

sybil I'm with you on the husband on ebay. I work from home and mine walked in the other day and said 'this place needs hoovering, what did you do in your lunch hour?'. I could have throttled him. I don't see him getting the iron out during his lunch hour, grrrrrrrrrrr. I was soooooo MAD!

Anyway, not such to report here apart from what feels like the 1500th bug/virus/cold to have hit out house this winter seems to have blocked up my ear. Can that even happen?? I feel like one ear is under water all the time. I'm going to need an ear trumpet for Christmas if it goes on much longer.

Good luck to all with waking babies, fingers crossed they are planning to give us all an easy night.

Hello JB,

Can you imagine the Ebay description?

"One husband, slightly used; prone to passing remarks about housework but with allergy to same"

I think the ear thing (which I have had myself) will either go on its own after a few days or you can go and get them swooshed out. It's maddening though. I love this time of year but the BUGS. I am so fed up of coughing, my chest is raw.

Hello and happy birthday to all the 1 year olds

I got very bogged under with work and other things but have just (skived) off work with mastitis for the last few days so am feeling a bit better. I have been lurking for quite a while but have not felt up to posting, I have a docs appt tomorrow to see if how I'm feeling is physical/hormonal or just in my head....

Trace I hope you are doing OK and things are OK with L. Did you get any idea of what is going on ? Hope you are getting some more sleep.

Daisy We went through something similar with my SIL, who passed away just over a year ago. I found for a while I didnt know what to say and one time got upset at work when i realised I would never be able to say some of the things I wanted to to her face, as it was just too upsetting. So I wrote them in a card, and gave it to her. She was really moved, and I'm so glad I did it, because then nothing was left unsaid between us. This wouldnt work for everyone, but maybe it even helps to write it down even if you never send it.

LadyT Your trip sounds fantastic, I am so jealous. I wanted to go to Egypt on our honeymoon, but DH reckoned it was "unsafe"

Aub Really glad everyone is well again, well I hope so anyway. DH has tried to persuade me that I should give up BF, as a) I might be less tired, and b)less moody, but I really dont want to, partly because of the illness thing. DS1 gave up at 9months and the first winter was hellish with sickness. I'm hoping if I can BF this one till march it might be a bit easier to get through.

Veggie Glad the move went well, I cant believe how well you cope - do you get any down time ?

I'm sure there is loads of stuff I've forgotten, but best wishes to everyone, including Beans and DC2 We are all looking forward to Xmas here, and I am really looking forward to the new year. Not least because we all get a nice 10 day holiday off work to sit around eating chocolate and playing with toys. The boys are getting a big box of lego from one of my brothers (family heirloom) which I am looking forward to. Lego brings out my inner child....

Oh yeah, my DH is the same with housework. He does make an effort though, its just not sometimes that great, ie I think he throws washing at the clothes horse in the hope that it will stick. He is also rubbish at looking for things as well, and will occasionally remark "blooming hell, the bath is dirty isnt it", and then doesnt understand why I get cross, as what is the point in telling ME about it ? Why not use that energy and effort just to clean it ? eh ?

Morning ladies just popping in as we are back in lovely London for a few days. Sadly saying goodbye to my niece tomorrow and jabs for DS2 today. Oh speaking of whom, he's up better go chat more later.

But hugs to Trace, Kiwi and Daisy. Big waves to everyone else .

Hi everyone! Posting from work. Naughty.

Have been lurking. Lots of things resonating for me on here - tantrums...yes! They do make me laugh, but that is probably the wrong response. What IS the right response though?? I know nothing about dealing with naughty toddlers. Should I be reading up?

Bad nights. Ohhh yes. Though I may be getting off lighter than some people, it seems. But I had an almost unprecedented shocker last week (and of course I was on my own for the week...as always when things go tits up!). DS woke around midnight and NOTHING would get him back to sleep. I finally resorted to pushing the buggy back and forth over a bump in the kitchen floor with the extractor fan blowing in the background, and he eventually went back to sleep at 4:30. So I go to bed, hoping that he may have a bit of a lie-in after being up all night...I finally fall asleep around 5:00. He wakes at...wait for it...5:15. Oh my god! So I was up from midnight and had the prospect of an entire day with DS on my own. Plus ended up walking with the buggy for over 3 hours that day getting him to nap.

Needless to say, both DS and I are sick after that week. My asthma has gone haywire as a result, but I finally gave in and got some steroid pills from the doctor and am already feeling better.

Needless to say, this is nothing compared to what some of you are going through.

Daisy - I am so sorry for your family. Hope things went well with your first day at work.

Trace - Sorry things are rough. You always sound so upbeat on here, but your body is obviously run down. I hope for your sake that you're able to get some rest some way, somehow

Kiwi, Jolly, others - Bad nights. Terrible. From my RL mum friends with babies this age, we all seem to be struggling now? Could all our babies be getting the beginnings of the 1 year molars or something?!

Aub - Glad to hear your DD is getting better. Must have been so scary.

Veggie - Hope trip to London is good!

Lady - Welcome back!

Beans, Rube and others worrying about going back to work. Hope things go okay. I am loving being back, but I think I will feel quite upset come January when I have to leave him with a childminder rather than at home with my parents.

Those still breastfeeding - is anyone else down to just 2 feeds/day? I have been expressing at work for the midday feed, but it is a pain and they are so close to being able to have cow's milk that I've asked my mum to just give him regular milk during the day. Just hope it doesn't affect my supply if I am only doing AM and bedtime feeds?

Hi Folks,

Am packed liked cattle in a smelly corner of the Tube and typing on my phone so forgive me if I am more typo prone than normal.

Just wanted to welcome LadyT back to the fold. Lovely to hear from you Lady. Glad O survived her Egyptian fan club. You don't happen to be going to D's gig on Sunday do you? I plan to go as long as DD1's first ballet nativity finishes on time.

Beans and Daisy - I hope your returns to work were not as miserable as expected. Once you get into the swing of things work can be a nice break. Having said that I am run off my feet at work this week and combined with DD2's night teething it's bringing me to me knees.

Sorry you are I'll Invis. Hope your hearing is restored ASAP.

Enjoy London Veggie. Good luck with jabs.

Lots more to say but my station looms so must start pushing my way to where I imagine the door is. Will try and return on tonight's commute.

Can I add DH to the Ebay lot? Yes to remarks on housework, yes to remarks on bfing (if you stopped feeding him we could just bung a bottle in his cot ) and yes to general grumpiness. Only I am grumpy as well and prone to starting arguments, plus I left him in charge of a completely wired DS2 last night to kip on the sofa. So I suspect he may be investigating Ebay listings himself .

Tantrums: DS2 has started objecting to being in his highchair and throwing food around. It was v funny last night, DH was telling him off and DS2 was glaring at him and they looked exactly the same. I think we are in for some fun when he gets to the toddler stage. We are (of course) convinced that he is v bright, he's obsessed with putting toys on shelves/behind the sofa/in the coal scuttle and seems hugely advanced. It seems you don;t escape from delusions the second time around!

Happy birthday to all the early Dec babes and to PD, hope the hols were good.

LadyT: I can imagine beautiful O causing a mini riot, but must have been quite scary for you (and her). DS2 would have given them his patent scowl and sent them scuttling away. He's looking absurdly 18th century at the moment thanks to his chins the curls over his ears - looks a bit like this: www.angrypict.co.uk/images/henrydundas.jpg

Re: the job application, I have an interview! BUT it's the afternoon following a dental appointment, I have to sit a test (!) and give a presentation on what I would do with 100K. I suspect 'putting on the 3:15' will not wash.

Oh and sleep: don;t go there, it's appalling. Though good (in a wish it wans't happening way) to hear that others are suffering too. DH is convinced that we are doing something wrong and he will NEVER sleep. Which he said about DS1, who now sleeps beautifully.

Feeds: MOM was thinking of cutting back to pm and am, currently doing this plus feeding at night. He doesn't have a feed when I'm at work and seems to be fine. Expressing is a major pain, so I just didn't do it this time round! But I am a lazy mare.

oh and I would highly recommend Toddler Taming by Christopher Green. I don't agree with all his ideas but there's some excellent no-nonsense solutions to toddler behaviour, plus it reassures you that yours is normal and not some monster!

Afternoon all, thanks for the birthday wishes for DD she had a top day, lots of pressies of which her favourite was crayons as they're apparently really delicious?! We're having GPs and godparents over on Saturday so yesterday was just a quiet one with DH on his half day so we went to playgroup in the morning and then with daddy at home in the afternoon. Lovely!

Just before I forget - a fabby bit of competitive parenting... was in a shop on Mon trying to get DD some wellies as her little cruiser shoes clearly would be no good whatsoever. There was another mum with a little boy trying on some crawler shoes, she said Oh how old is your daughter? "1 tomorrow" says I. Oh, it was my son's birthday last week, has she been walking for long? "A couple of weeks". Turns to her son and says "She's allowed to be an early walker, she's a girl". I do the mollifying Oh but she can't say a word yet thing, to which she replies "Oh well xx has been chattering for a couple of months, he's such a good talker" really, it's fine if your baby isn't walking, there's no need to try and defend his honour...!

darnit she has been out for about 30 mins and I thought would be off for a good stretch, will try to get her back to sleep and catch up. How do they know...?!

JJ that is hilarious! I find competitive mothering exhausting. Izz will doing things when she's good and ready and not before.

So... return to work... not as bad as I expected. Although I have to be honest and say that I feel like I'm here treading water until I get back to real life at 5.30!!! It's definitely not that high up in my pecking order, this work business. and I think about Izz constantly! Never mind. But she seems v happy with the nanny share and didn't wake up in the night last night,w hich is brilliant.

Lady T - it's good to hear about your trip - sounds amazing - apart from illness and scary riot. Curly toes are just weird!

Anyway, ought to do some work.

Much love to all

x

Hello all! Sneaky post from work (not really back yet but doing a day here and there, my it's restful talking to adults all day who don't follow you to the loo)

Sleep still disastrous but really reassuring, in a misery-loves-company sort of way, to know we are not alone! My friend suggested, charitably, that DD was having one of those big developmental leaps that cause grumpiness. I replied, if that's the case, she'd better come out of this being able to bloody FLY...

Re competitive parenting, I suffer from the oh-my-god-everyone-elses-baby-is-more-advanced-than-DD syndrome. Ridiculously, I look at her and find it hard to believe she will EVER walk or talk. She certainly shows no signs whatsoever of the former, in fact despite LOVING walking (while holding my hands) at 8 months she now refuses to do it. Go figure.

Random question: are any breastfeeders who are back at work expressing??

hey all
kiwi LOL at your dd being able to fly
I'd like to believe P's rubbish sleep is due to teething, but after almost a year of not sleeping she still has nothing but gums, so I fear the two aren't related in our case! Are there any other dec 08 babies with no teeth yet? I think JB's dd has had our share of teeth - and some...!
mom I'm still BF at night, in the morning, pre and post bath, and pre-bed on work days, and random daytime feeds on top of that when I'm not at work - my boobs just seem to go with the flow!
veggie hope the jabs go well tomorrow
Lucy is having her blood test tomorrow so I'm hoping that goes well. She still seems so pale - hope I can get to the bottom of things so we can get our old Lucy back.
P is once again full of snot (when is she not?) and has a nasty cough, but seems pretty cheery still. She very much enjoyed her garlic dough balls at lunch today! My parents came up to York for a few hours so we did lunch out and they gave me a pressie for Phoebe. Lovely times.
I saw my GP on Monday and she gave me some stuff to swill in my mouth, which is actually quite yummy and is helping, so I'm feeling better about that. And she confirmed that I'm staying on my current happy dose, but that I'm not allowed more than 1 month's supply. I said "I promise not to take them all at once if you give me more" and she smiled but said as it's a high dose she couldn't, just in case I was down and decided to take them all. I wouldn't - but I guess they have to protect themselves.
Anyway. blah blah.
njan hope you get on ok at the GP tomorrow.
Right must make the packed lunches before reach the point when I can't shift my ass from the settee...
doh. too late.