Dec 08 babies are nearly one - PARTY TIME!

[EffiePerine]

As I accidentally filled up the old thread I thought I'd better start a new one

Hi Everyone

Its my day off and DD2 is napping while DD1 is a =t nursery for time for a very quick catch-up. Miraculously everyone in my house hold has been healthy for all of 72 hours. I am dreaming of making it though the weekend in this state but given recent precedent that may be a dream too far.

Daisy - I am so sorry to hear about your MiL. My mum was a simillar age when her breast cancer spread to her liver and lymph nodes and I remember the shock all to well. Like Waiting said, it was my Mum's strength, courage and humour that kept us going. She crammed a lot into those last few months and I treasure the memories.

Trace - Its nice to hear you sounding a little more chipper and great that L has had a good day. I do the soup trick too, both the girls love it.

Jolly - Doesn't the standing in the cot thing drive you mad? From memory it takes an age for them to learn how to lie down on their own. I have bought DD2 an extra long grow bag and I tuck the end tightly under her mattress to restrict movement. It works 50% of the time...

Sybil - I am with you on the play dates. I am not providing a free babysitting service and if someone really likes DD1 they will invite her back to theirs in return. If that does not happen after two or three trips to my house I draw a line. Obviously I wouldn't if DD1 was upset but as you say, the good friends alway reciprocate. It is nice to hear that LadyT is having fun in Egypt. I bet the Egyptian med love little O, The waiters in Turkey kept kidnapping DD2 when we were there in September. I love cultures where it is acceptable for men to go gaga over other peoples babies.

Rubena - I like to video the arm flapping - its such a cure phase!

Jam - nice to see you. Come back properly and tell us how you are doing.

I think DD2 had her first tantrum this morning. How precocious of her! I thought we might have another year until we had to cope with tantrums but it seems not. She wanted more milk but I had to get DD1 ready so DD2 threw herself on the floor and thumped her little fists on the ground and screamed blue murder (without tears). I tried to coax her out of it but she was really mad and bit me! You can't exactly naughty step an 11 month old so I was rather flummoxed.

trace glad the CPN meet went well. I'm not quite at playdate stage yet with DD, but I would say that you could do without the extras at the moment. Maybe limit the time they can come around to once a week? And I hope your throat is feeling better.

jam hello!

invis Glad the presentation went well. I really admire people that can do them. In the past I have had to wear high neck tops when doing presentations as I get a nervous rash thing on my neck!!

Saw MIL yesterday, I wasn't really sure what to say. She seems to just want to make the most of what she has left. But she has lost quite a lot of weight and seems so fraile, I worry that she won't try and fight it and just give in - does that make any sense?? My nan is 79, yet she simply refuses to accept her cancer as an illness that will stop her. Now I know my nan isn't terminal, I just wish my MIL could have some of her spirit. DH is still doing okay, and surprising his whole family. But I do worry that he is simply bottling up his emotion and hes going to blow.

Right DS fast asleep in his pram from dropping DD at preschool at 9am Time for a hot chocolate me thinks......

aub X post - I did at the tantrum, sorry!!

Aub DS2 is occassionally having little tanties where he throws himself backwards and screams. DS1 never ever had a tantrum so I'm a bit not used to it. So far I'm trying my best to ignore them in the hope that they'll go away.

Daisy I really don't know how you are holding it together with all this going on. Take care of yourself won't you.

We are off to Paris tomorrow and then London until next Saturday so may not get on much except for on my phone.

Evening all

Daisy Just to say thinking of you, really. Hope you are ok.

Jolly DD does the standing up thing ALL the bloody time, drives me nuts. If we put her down to sleep before she is absolutely ready (ie virtually askeep anyway) she's up like a jack in the box, and again through the night. So no idea what to do about it or how long it will last but I share your pain!

Am in a bit of a grump. There's a big project at work that was my baby, so to speak, it's a yearly thing and it's just been launched again and my temporary replacement has made a right pigs ear of it. I don't know why it bothers me so much but it's always a bit of a labour of love for me and I hate seeing it so crappy.

I'm actually really looking forward to getting back to work. Have found the last few weeks really tough going with DD, she's SO high maintenance and hyperactive (and sleeps so little) that my patience wears thin after a while, which I then feel guilty about. Her sleeping has been dire recently - I think she's teething - and she's almost constantly whinging and grumpy in the day. I can't get anything done at all now, even just trying to cook her lunch involves holding her in one arm while brandishing knife in other.

Anyway sorry, just felt like a bit of a whinge.

Happy birthday to all the 1 year olds btw! Still a while to go for DD (19th December)

Oh Kiwi poor you. I do know how you feel. DS2 has been a bit like that lately. As much as I hate dosing him up constantly when he's teething I have been for the last couple of days and it's been nice to see him happy again. It's helped his night sleeping too, day naps are still short but he is happy when he's awake and not so clingy. Is there anyway you can have a little break before you go back to work.

Hello all - v quiet on here lately, is everyone off having (whisper) a life?! Things pretty hectic here too, I've been starting back at work and doing a concert and having people to stay so no time to go to the loo get on MN. So first of all, a belated Happy first birthday to babydaisy, LadyT's O, verso's F and for today, lal's N

well DD has had two full days at nursery now, and is getting on much better than we hoped. She still has a bit of a yell when she's dropped off but usually by the time DH is at the door she's stopped. Has eaten all of her lunch, had a couple of (albeit very short) naps, started to play with the other kids, and generally settled in really really well. Much better than me at work in fact - I forgot half my passwords and couldn't remember very much at all of what it is I'm meant to do oh and you know I've not yet got paid for the KiT days - they haven't put me on the payroll for this month either despite having had 8 weeks notice of my start date as per . But must be calm... it will mean double cash come Christmas.

daisy will pray very hard for your MIL and your DH, hope that she's able to have the new medication and that you are able to spend lots of time with her.

trace glad it went well with CPN and you're feeling more positive

kiwi re the clingy thing, I got a ring sling a couple of weeks ago to tote DD round the house when she's in that kind of mood - means that she gets an extra cuddle and I can move at more than 2 miles an hour without her hanging off my trouser leg...

quick reminder for anyone who wants to do a secret santa, email me your name and address to [email protected] and Mr JJ will be picking names out of a hat at the end of the week

grrr, keep trying to post and it won't let me! still in egypt, back late tomorrow xxxxxxxx

Cannot believe i am allowed to post little messages and the TWO long ones i have done won't show up! so just to say - missed you all and i am thinking of you and your family, daisyd. back on here on tues! ciao lovely ladies....

evening

Just a quickie as I must hit the sack, but ZJ I forgot to say thank you for your lovely offer of dropping in on me on your way back from work. It suddenly struck me in the night that I never thanked you for that and I felt terrible and had to pop on to say thanks!
ladyT have a good journey home with your one-year old!
jj have emailed you
daisy how are you?
my weird throat is now very sore. grr. and now I have several really painful ulcers, and bizarrely my lips have gone all swollen and ulcery too - I look a bit Lesley Ash . Very odd. DH thought it might be hand, foot and mouth, but there's nothing to see on my hands or feet, but there's definitely something strange in my mouth! And tonight my eye has joined in and gone all red and blurry. Perhaps my face is trying to tell me to go to bed...yawn.
right off to bed. See you soon xxx

just quickly trace could be HFM, started for me with sore throat and mouth, then rash on hands, then feet, then ulcers. It's a funny bug so I reckon they could come in any order! Hope you get better soon.
I'm off to bed too will try and have proper catch up soon!
PS daisy hope you are doing ok, very sorry to hear about your MIL

Hello,

Trace hope you are feeling better soon.

LadyT hope you've had a lovely time. I hope that O is good on the flight but I can't imagine her not being.

We are on flood alert here. The flood water won't reach us unlike last time when we were trapped in the flat with DS1 who was just 4 months. But we won't be able to get to work. But last time work were trying to give people written warnings for not coming through the flood water and going to work. But hopefully it will have gone done by the time I'm at work tonight.

Hope you are all well.

trace hope you are okay today. You sound very run down, if it doesn't get any better can you fit a trip to the Dr's in somewhere?

ladyt hoping you have a comfortable flight home! My parents are home from Egypt later and have had a lovely time, as I'm sure you have too!

kayz hows the floods? Hope you are all okay and have been able to get to work alright?

Have had a pretty rubbish weekend here. We went out for the day on Saturday and took the DC's to the Circus at Blackpool Tower. But understandably DH was distracyted by everything that is happening to his mum. So it was pretty much like I was there on my own. DD was so excited at the circus, and i was trying to be all upbeat and excited with her but then DH kept giving me this look like "What are you so happy about?"

Then we were supposed to be having a nice night in on Saturday as its my birthday today and we had no sitter to go out. Anyway we ordered a lovely take away and I bought some champagne, DH got upset and went to bed at 9pm (we had only put the DC's to bed about 8pm after our long day). So I drank the champagne on my own. Yesterday we went to see his mum and she looks dreadful, and his Dad is simply not coping. He hates the NHS for telling her she hasn't got long left and they have 'put a noose around her neck'. He feels they should have told him but not her. He needs counselling imo, but SIL was there who is such a bossy cow and basically rubbished the idea, and I was then informed by DH's brother that SIL was taking care of everything - what he really meant was butt out!

Sorry to rant I must sound so selfish and self indulgent. I just don't know what to say or do for the best. I still have a stinking cold which won't go away. Oh and I start work tomorrow, which I could really do without. I hope they are gentle with me on my first day.

Daisy how awful, your poor DH. Can someone perhaps talk to your FIL about counselling when your SIL isn't around? I know it helped my mum hugely when her parents passed away, and I think she saw someone when my grandad was first diagnosed, too.

Makes my problems seem a bit petty and gives me a bit of a sense of perspective. DD was horrendous last night, I've had about 3 hours sleep so not sure there will be much perspective today but I'll try! Sleep is an absolutely disaster. A month or two ago she was doing really well, almost sleeping through the night. Now she's waking three, four times and HOWLING if I do anything other than feed her, and even then it doesn't always work. Last night she started at 10pm just as we were settling down to sleep and it took three attempts to feed her to sleep, interspersed wtih rocking, cuddling, chatting for an hour and a half. Then she was up again at 2, 4 and 6. When she was about 7 months we did controlled crying and it worked, but now if we leave her she just stands up in the cot and SCREAMS and never gets down (even though she's perfectly capable of it).

I feel absolutely horrendous and counting the hours already until DH is home/ I can go to bed (only to be woken again I expect). Does anyone have any advice?? I just don't know what to do except that I can't go on like this, I keep bursting into tears when DH leaves for work in the morning because the thought of a whole day with her is just so grim. I can't catch up on any sleep in the day, btw, because she generally takes 2 x 30 min naps. And takes me an hour to get her down for those sometimes.

Sorry. Rant rant rant. Moan moan moan. DH is fantastic and has even offered to try CC next week when he's off work, sending me around to my parents so I can sleep. But given how DD is at the mo I just don't know if she will EVER go to sleep.

Happy birthday Daisy . I hope you have a lovely day despite the sadness in your family. Your DH is very lucky to have you to support him. I will raise you a vitual glass of something and proffer some virtual blooms pcflorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/1071t.jpg

Trace: whatever you've caught sounds pretty grim, hope you can get some rest. I assume that if it is HFM you need to stay away from school? Agree on playdates: I am one of the annoying parents who doesn't invite children back to the house, as DH is generally working! But I do suggest meeting for coffee/at soft play/in the park so I'm not always taking advantage.

Kayz: hope the water is staying away.

Kiwi: no advice but DS2 is doing the same, I'm co-sleeping to try and get a bit of rest. He wakes up and feeds feeds feeds, any attempt to unlatch him (ecen when he's finished) or move him means more yells! DH is unwell at the moment, or I'd go to plan B which is to sleep on the sofa and let him deal with the wakings for a night or two. Could you do the same? I do find that DS2 settles far better for DH than me, esp if I'm not in sight (or smelling distance).

oH Daisy - I'm thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry.

Kiwi you poor thing. It must be so exhausting and can only say that everything is a phase. I know that probably doesn't help, but it will get better. Could you afford to hire a night nanny for a couple of nights - it's expensive, but probably worth every penny so that you can get some sleep - www.night-nannies.com/ - they also do sleep training. It might seem like a lot of money, but is probably worth it so that you regain some of your sanity and feel able to deal with DD day to day. I'm afraid I don't have any tips myself, as am useless when DD wakes up in the night.

I'm back to work tomorrow and am absolutely dreading not being with DD. I don't know quite what to do. If I think about it too much I can't stop crying. Just look at her chatting away to me and looking at me so trustingly and feel like such a traitor for leaving her with someone else. And I don't want to go to work! I only want to be a Mum, but we can't really afford it. It's so pathetic of me. But just want to be with DD, not some randoms. I just feel like I had a baby so that I could be a mother to her, not so that I would go back to work and leave her. Anyway, I guess these things happen and i'm sure it'll be fine once I'm back in the swing of things. It's more the thought of it than the reality! DH isn't very sympathetic and thinks I'm trying to make him feel bad because he's the one who's pushing me to go back to work. He's got about as much sympathy as a toenail.

Sorry, minor whinge. But feels massive today! I've been so good and uncry-y about it, but today the floodgates have opened!!! Anyway, will pull myself together and get on with it! And sure it mighte ven be fun!
x

Beans: I'm sure it will all seem a lot better once you get into the swing of thing . Am I right in thinking you don't work too far from me? Would be around for a quick coffee at lunchtime if you want to escape!

I'm in Berkeley Square - is that near you, Effie? If so, that would be smashing. Sorry to be weedy. And I'm sure my hormones are knackered too, so probably not helping! xx

oh kiwi I am so sorry to hear about your sleep problems. DS was very similar to your DD just over a month ago. I have had to literally let him cry it out, and have refused to go into him once I had ruled out any other reason for his waking. Now he sleeps ok-ish about 80% of the time. I guess its a form of CC, so if no improvement next week I would seriously consider taking DH up on his offer.

beans I know exactly how you feel. I was exactly the same when I returned to work after having DD. I felt physically sick at the thought of leaving her, and I couldn't imagine how she would cope with being away from me. But we both managed fine. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but once you settle into a routine it will be fine and you might even enjoy the break and the time at work you get to be a grown up again. I start new job tomorrow, and the thought of leaving DS isn't nearly as bad - I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

effie Thanks for the flowers they are beautiful!!

Right off to the tip (I know your all jealous - the glamour of it all), the garden is full of cardboard boxes and wrapping paper after DS's birthday last week. He hardly got anything so I dread to think what will happen at Christmas.

Beans: I had a vague idea you were in the Shell buildings, but I think I'm mixing you up with Oli! I'm near the Strand, so not miles away but prob more suited to lunch than a cuppa - let me know if you'd like to arrange something .

Thanks Effie - I will do - probably need to settle in a bit first and get my bearings before I start going out for lunch, but once am settled, we can find somewhere suitably between us and meet up. Lovely - thank you! x

Happy Birthday Daisy. So sorry about your night, and everything going on with your mil.

Beans I can totally understand. I keep having major meltdowns about going to work next week, and I had a moment where I completely unleashed on dh when he accused me of being a bit lazy about not wanting to go back (or words to that effect) I accused him of not understanding as he doesn't bat an eyelid to do an overnight at work. Thing is, I'm not even leaving ds with a stranger - I'm leaving him with his father and his Grandma at times so I should probably just shut up. There's other stuff but I won't go on about it. Anyway, that said, I've done pretty much none of the work I'm suppose to be doing before my return so I have to get on with it

Kiwi, I don't really know what to say except I hope it is a short phase. Is it her teeth? You dosing her up at night? Sounds like she is way over tired especially with short napping in the day and all that crying. Hope it sorts out soon for you. This weather doesn't help does it - so depressing.

Lady glad you are having fun. Happy Birthday O!

A really quick post (DD is stirring) to wish babyUrbane a belated happy birthday, and also happy birthday to babies Sybil and JJ for tomorrow, in case I don't get chance to get back.

I will come back to catch up soon, hope that you and your babies are all well? xx

Hello,
Just popping on at work, which I said I wouldn't do, naughty.

kiwi not sure what to suggest but sorry about the crap nights. The standing up and yelling is annoying isn't it? DS finally sometimes gets down of his own accord, in fact he is sleeping very well again, so I hope it is just a phase for you. I slept in his room for a few days (but with him in his cot) and he seems to have calmed down about being left on his own now. I think it helped that we started putting him down awake and night and letting him yell a bit, rather than trying to get him pretty much to sleep before putting him down. I think letting your DH do controlled crying is a good idea while you get some kip! Or could you think about talking to a sleep consultant place like the one waitinggirl used? I don't know how expensive they are but I figure seeing as they do phone advice only they are probably cheaper than a night nanny.

beans how many days are you going back to work for a week? Is it full time? You may find you enjoy the change. rubena how rude of your DH to say you are lazy not wanting to go back to work. I find work easier than being at home with DS. Well kind of different but I would rather be tired at work than tired at home, which is bizarre. So tell him to sod off!

daisy happy birthday and sorry about your crap evening...I hope your FIL can get some counselling and things get better soon.