December 2007 - Not Quite Two, Already Terrible ;)

[claraquack]

Just checking that this worked....

Hi everyone

Just thought I would pop by and say hello and see how everyone is. (It's Loucee if anyone remembers!)

Just reading back over a few threads, hope your lump is ok beckle. Glad your Dad's op went ok Drskid, heres to a bright future for him. Sorry that clairey you are feeling like that about people thinking you tore the family apart, you are doing a great job and like Skid says you will be so much happier in the long run that you made the break.

Potty training - my DS is way off and since no3 is due end of April I think I will wait until the summer comes.

Swine flu vaccine did everyone go for it or not? I am still undecided and without meaning to bring up a debate I was just looking for a show of hands?!!

DrSkid wow only 4 weeks until your due date? good luck, hope it all goes smoothly

Bouncing how did your DH go at his job interviews? Think that was the last time I popped by!

Yayyyyyyy Skid! Great news about your dad and well done on the driving test!

I am planning to learn when ds goes to preschool and I have a couple of free hours a day, am already scared! Will make finding work easier though.

SQ sorry to hear all your bad news,

Loucee I think my dc will have the jab but I want them to be less ill than they currently are before they have it (so that will be never then -ds has had one heavy cold after another since september. Fat lot of good bf for 20 months did him!)

Beckle that is a loooong time to wait, really feel for you.

Thanks all for the boost, I think particularly hard because the neighbour is so lovely and really seems to care about us. Hopefully though he will realise he only saw the outside picture and doesn't know the realities of our relationship...

SQ, what an awful start to the year, so many losses . Sorry to hear about your other news too, it must be hard for you even though you have said before you didn't think you would be able to have any more DCs. Will keep my fingers crossed for you on the house front. I don't think you are a bad DIL for being amused, I would have been too in that situation - I think as long as you didn't laugh out loud at her its fine

Clara, sorry to hear your sad news too I am still managing to stay away from google, it is very hard but I am scared enough as it is without terrifying myself more! The fact the appointment is so far away is not actually a reassurance - the doctor has referred me as an urgent case but 12th March is the first appointment I could get

Skid - yaaayyyyy!!!! For your Dad and for you! Thanks for your reassurance, I am hoping and hoping it is just a cyst, the fact it has shrunk a bit and does fluctuate in size a little is reassuring. Unfortunately unless I go private (and I wouldn't know where to start and doubt I could afford it either) there is no way of bringing the appointment forward.

BRB, I haven't had the swine flu vaccine letter yet but my friend got hers yesterday for her DS and is dithering a bit. I am swaying towards having it done just because DD had a couple of chest infections plus bronchiolitis and a respiratory tract infection last year and it worries me that she will be more prone to complications - swine flu affects the respiratory system doesn't it? My neighbour's DD had it done (they have a small baby so didn't want her to bring it home from school and pass it on to him) and she was absolutely fine with it so that reassured me too.

I believe everyone is having such rubbish news at the moment, except you skid congrats on the driving test! and I'm glad to hear your dad's op went well x
and as for labour - how where the other 2? ds3 was my fastest yet 3 hours start to finish, my labours have halved each time, maybe it'll be too quick for epidural

beckle that must be worrying for you, I'm hopeless at advice in this situation but I hope the march date rolls round quickly for you if the GP doesn't come back with a sooner date x

clara thank you for your lovely comment I'd love to have a dd but I think I'm just designed to have all boys out of curiosity what is your other brother called?? seeing as the other 2 have such fab names

SQ it doesn't make you a horrible DIL I'd do exactly the same thing and I'd be glad my ds hadn't 'performed' as necessary so I could smugly say see I told you he wasn't ready (taking notes on what not to do as a MIL btw!)

BRB as for a show of hands - mine aren't having the swine flu vaccination.

I can't believe everyone is having...

Insy - my eldest brother was Matthew!

Skid - well done on the driving test and great news about your dad. Don't panic about having the new baby, I am sure it'll fit into your life one way or the other! With getting them all ready in the morning I found it easier when dd1's childminder told me it really didn't matter how late she was. Then I stopped panicking, was much calmer and I found we usually were on time anyway!

BRB (Loucee) - I had forgotten you were having a third as well, if I didn't say it before then congratulations! Ours aren't having the swine flu vaccination at the moment as it isn't such a problem out here but I am not sure whether we should have it done when we return home?

How are those of you whose dc's use a dummy getting on? I am really trying to make it a bed time and car thing only. She is defintiely getting better - I think it helps that she understands so much more now so is more repsonsive to requests.

And whether it is coincidence or not but her tantrums do seem to have died down a bit, at the same time as she has had a bit of a conversation explosion. Yesterday she came out with "I'm jumping up and down, Emma. Come and play with me". I think that is her longest (clear) conversation yet!

wow clara - that is an impressive sentence! A 'sentence' from my DS consists of something like 'no neh-nah, buhbuh' (translation, 'No it's not a fire engine it's a bin lorry')!

wow insy - 3 hours?! Was it also your easiest? (if not just lie and say yes!). My 1st was about 12 and 2nd was about 7 I think so I suppose 3 is on the cards....[utterly terrifies emotion]

Hi Loucee - good to hear from you - can't believe you're due in April - funny how other people's pregnancies go so quickly but not your own! Re swine flu vaccine - mine haven't had it yet and I have vague reservations but don't really know what they are! So I suppose that's a no

beckle - that sounds very promising (if that's the right word) that it has shrunk and fluctuated. How awful that you can't have it checked sooner. Are you managing to put it to the back of your mind most of the time?

DrSkid - well done on passing your driving test!! And good news about your dad

BRB - no swine flu vaccine here!

SQ - so sorry about your friends,how very sad for their families

Claraq - wow that really is an impressive sentence! DS is very attached to his dodie, it is hard to take it off him during the day but I usually manage it.

Insy - wow can't believe Bear is 7mo!!

Beckle - so sorry about your health worries, but if they really thought it was serious surely they wouldn't make you wait that long for you to be seen?

Beckle, I'm very impressed at you staying away from Google. Fingers crossed for March.

DrSkid, well done on the test that's fantastic! I have several non-driving friends and know how hard it can be to get organised to practice etc.

SQ so sorry to hear your test results. Is it completely hopeless then?

BRB I will def have flu vaccine myself when the season comes around down under. Not sure about the DDs I must admit. Probably will for DD2 as she's very prone to coughs.

Clara I'm always in awe of other people's 2yo talking skills. DD's sentences are mostly in the nature of "Bea bring tigey". She is reasonably clear though which is a bonus.

Insy lovely to see you and hear about Bear. Is there plenty of time still to decide on #4? I can imagine that after 3 of one colour you'd find it hard to imagine having the other. I have 2 DDs only and not sure I'd know what to do with a DS!

Clairey don't let your neighbour get to you and given his history unfortunately its only to be expected that ex-H would go all out for the sympathy vote.

I'm so glad to hear other Dec07 DC are being holy terrors ATM otherwise I'd think it was just DD! She's truly driving me spare at the moment. We had an hour long tantrum today at the playground. Not because we were leaving but because of all things as soon as we arrived she decided she wanted to go back to the car and I put my foot down (not to make you jealous but Wellington has FINALLY put on some summer weather for us). I ended up bribing her with an ice cream - bad mummy!

Our other news is that she has decided the big bed might be OK and has slept last 2 nights in that. This after sleeping in about 5 diff beds over Xmas break when we were on holiday (inlcuding 2 nights on an airbed in a tent!) so I think the cot now seemed less important.

More news, she has moved up to the Junior Pre-school at her Nursery School (for children aged about 2-3). This has been a bit traumatic as its in a different building and all new teachers etc but hopefully next week will be a bit easier. I've been letting her take Tigey with her as a comforter.

Still more news, we're getting a 10 week old puppy in 4 weeks! We drove up about 8 hours to visit the breeder (dedication huh?!) and choose a little boy shih szu poodle maltese cross. I have a feeling I'm letting myself in for a load of trouble for the first 6 months at least but it has very definitely taken DD1's mind off her father leaving which was the whole point

skid my last labour was actually a bit to fast for me, I went into shock afterwards and wasn't 'allowed' to hold Bear till I'd recovered a little, it just took me by surprise as my waters broke - first time ever - at 3am and by just gone 6am dh was holding ds. Text book tho, home birth, gas and air, no stitches, sending loads of positive vibes, whats your birth plan? x

clara shame we already have a Matthew in immediate family (not that I'm in any danger of having no 4 - getting coil fitted this week as dh not convinced (try totally against) and I couldn't dream of having an 'accident' as I know we'd have to talk about termination, plus I'm wavering slightly as I'd be scared about what my mum would say not quite sure why that matters, also think it would be easier to decide if I had had a girl by now as I know I always wanted a dd and I sometimes wonder if wanting more is a sub conscious 'trying for a girl' moment)

hi buzzy glad to hear dd's pre school move is going ok, it was this time last year we were having a nightmare with ds's in nursery (pre another round of maternity leave) you reminded me that ds2 had to take lion (lie-lie as he called it) without fail - I'm dreading it when I go back to work as he is still very much a mummy's boy, not sure how to make him more inclined to stay on his own? ds1 has always been great at being left, ds3 sobs everytime my mum holds him - she's actually getting quite upset about it
My aunt got a puppy recently and said its like having a toddler again great idea to take dd's mind off dad tho as I remember last time I checked it that it was a hard situation

Good weekend here, took boys to my mum and dad's on Sat and they took them swimming - we all love swimming but now can't take boys due to child to adult ratios, wish we could have gym membership it seems you can take as many kids as you want there

eek insy - that sounds a bit too quick. I am terrified DH won't get here quick enough as his work is an hour and a bit away. Birth plan is/was water birth at a MLU. However, the MW now thinks the baby might be breech so that would probs mean an ELCS! Bit of a jump from the hippy dippy birth I had in mind! Going for a scan on Tues (I'll be 37+3 by then so getting a bit late for him to turn I think?) to see if he is breech and can then plan accordingly

It's a nightmare the adult-child ratio thing with swimming, isn't it? When do they reach an age when it no longer applies?

Re having another baby - can you wait a couple of years before you decide? Do you think your DH (or you) might change his mind in that time? It might also give you time to think about if it is another girl you are really yearning for. Such a difficult situation

buzzy - how exciting about your new puppy! And great that it has taken your DD's mind off her dad leaving. When is he going? How is she doing now?

DS has also moved up a room at nursery and cries like his heart is breaking every time I drop him off (which is only once a week thank fully) - it is so awful and I don;t know when (if?) it will end as he was like that for months in the baby room - think he would just rather be at home with me all the time

DrSkid probably no help at all but its a common problem for children who only attend 1-2 days per week to find it really hard to settle each time they go back. DD was loads better this morning, fingers crossed long may that continue!

Re the pool, age 8 I think. Or at least it is here in Wellington. Which is only 2 months away for DD1! Just as well as have booked DD2 in for swimming lessons on Saturdays and told DD1 she can play in the kids pool while I take DD2 in the learner pool next door. She's a good swimmer so I'm sure she'll be fine.

Insy, DD1 was not keen on her Grandma until about age 2 and a half. I think what turned it around was Grandma started picking her up from pre-school sometimes!

Still nothing definite on the departure date. DD1 in good spirits at the moment but will be interesting to see how she copes going back to school next week.

Skid, I am trying to put things to the back of my mind but was struggling a bit TBH. I got a letter on Friday though informing me that my appointment has been brought forward to 8th Feb though so that has sort of made me feel better! I'm concerned at why they've brought it forward so much (when there really were no other appts available before) but at least I will know what is going on a bit sooner. I feel much calmer now too which is good. Fingers crossed that your baby will be the right way up, the MW who saw me when I was 40+1 thought DD was breech, another MW thought the same too so they sent me for a scan...she was head down though, she just had a bony bum!

Insy, I think that if you have it in you to want lots of children, it doesn't matter what sex they are, you won't feel done until you are done if that makes sense? When my DH wanted to try for DC3 it was because he wanted a DD, once she was here he had every intention of getting the snip and I was definite I wanted no more but... DH would like us to have another child and I am getting more in the mindset where I think maybe I could...at some point...

Buzzy, well done DD for sleeping in the big bed! Evie seems to have cracked it now too (touch wood) and although she takes a while to go to sleep she is no longer crying when I put her in it . 8 hours travel?! That is dedication! I'm really pleased for your DD, she'll love looking after the dog and hopefully it will give her something else really good in her life to help take her mind off her father.

Talking of animals, I went to buy a larger hen house this weekend (found a really cheap Eglu Cube!)so my chooks could have more run space and ended up coming home with an extra chicken too! The person who was supposed to have her didn't turn up so the people with the hen house offered her to me, how could I turn her down?! She's an ex-batt like mine too She's getting a bit pecked by the others while they try to re-sort their pecking order out but hopefully she'll settle in soon enough, I think once the new house is all set up properly we are going to get a couple of hybrid hens too (DH's idea!)

Hi all - I have my parents here this week so a bit busier than normal. I hoped it would mean I would have more help with the girls but actually I seem to have exactly the same amount to do with them plus two extra people to look after! But it is great having them here and dd's are loving it. It's especially sweet seeing dd2 with them as it's been 6 months since she last saw them (a quarter of her life!) so it's like she is getting to know them for the first time but she is so relaxed she must remember them in some way (well we do Skype with them a lot so I guess she recognises them).

Skid - I agree with Buzzy, I think it is hard for a child to settle at nursery if they only go one day a week. I know that's not much help to you though, sorry. Is there any chance he could do one more day a week? When my dd1 was this age she went two days a week to a childminder but it was consecutive days and she settled quite well.

Having said that, dd2 went through a spell about 6 - 8 weeks ago of crying like I was leaving her forever every morning so perhaps he is just having a "phase". He could be feeling a little unsure about the new baby?

If the baby is breech there is a chance they can turn it, although it didn't work with me. It did work with one of my friends though. However as a warning I found their attempt to do so very painful. But I have had two elective c-sections and they are really absolutely nothing to worry about so please don't fret. I had two fantastic birth experiences, remember everything, was able to watch my babies being born etc. I will see if I can put a pic of dd2 being born on my profile, it's an amazing shot.

Beckle - I laughed at your juxtaposition about wanting another baby and getting another hen! Are the two connected do you think? Good luck for 8 Feb - that's great that they have brought the appointment forward.

Insy - personally I think we are wired to be broody when our youngest reaches a certain age, whether we really want another baby or not. I certainly was, even though I have always known that two was enough for me. I guess you just have to work out whether it is a real desire for another child or just common or garden broodiness. And also make sure you could handle four boys!

hi all,

clara - thanks for all the reassurance re c-sections. I went for the scan today and he is head down! So don't know if he turned without me noticing or if the MW got it wrong - either way I am so relieved as I was getting really nervous about them trying to turn him (and remembering your and others' bad experiences of ECV), especially as DH couldn't be there with me. Anyway no need to worry now (well except about the impending agony of childbirth of course...) would love to see the pic of DD2 being born if you can put it up

Agree that having parents stay is always much more work than just looking after children on your own - but as you say, also lovely. Glad DD2 is bonding so well with them after such a long time

buzzy - DS actually goes to nursery 4 afternoons a week, it's just that I only drop him off once - so don't think that is the reason. He is just happier with me or DH pottering about - think he maybe finds social situtions a bit stressful..

beckle - that is fantastic news they have changed the appt to next week - I know it is also scary but it was already classed as urgent so I imagine they just had a cancellation or something and so could squeeze you in. It must be so hard not knowing so at least this way the uncertainty will be gone much sooner. Glad you're feeling calmer now and this time next week I look forward to some good news from you

Hey everyone.

DrSkid - good news then about the baby!

Beckle - yes I would imagine that is the reason, they have had a cancellation.

Claraq - my ils can be hard work when they stay, so I sympathise! Hope you all manage to have a nice time, and stay sane

Buzzy - good idea getting the puppy, your dd1 will love it and it will be a welcome distraction from her dad's impending departure. I guess he is still being a twat?

FO - are you settled into your new place now?

SQ - sorry to hear your sad news.

Hi all

Glad baby is the right way round Skid Back to whale music and incense is it

BT yep well and truly settled, love my new house (well apart from the dated decor, limescaled beyond redemption taps and gnats pee shower! Oh and ds' curtain rail fell off this morning too but other than that ). Had words with H this morning for just walking in without knocking, he said "but I don't need to knock when I can see you right there" . Oh yes you do!

Beckle I thought cancellation too, try not to worry (impossible I know).

Clara hope you're not too exhausted taking care of parents!

DS doing well at toilet training himself, at home he has been naked with no accidents, tried pants yesterday but he got bored of pulling them up/down so took them off. As soon as he has trousers on he is having accidents though so am sticking to nappies for going out. DD on the other hand is wetting herself every day again atm

Hi all,

Long time lurking. Short time posting.

Clairey/Freakoid at the thought of a potty trained DD but can't be faffed to try it with only 8/9 weeks to go til DC3.

Skid Hi again and hurray about your Dad.

Just a quick update; DD had chicken pox this last week, neatly timed for Sister's wedding and being a flower girl. Then 2 days after the wedding she fell over and cracked her front tooth and ended up with a general anaesthetic to remove it. Gappy little smiler now.

Will try to post more later. to everyone else.

Arcadie - Yes we saw your goings on on Facebook! How is dd now?
That must have been so scary, seeing your lo go under GA, but she is all okay now I hope

FO - stick to your guns with DH! He certainly should not be walking straight in!

can anyone help re sweaty dd?

Clairey - I can't really help with the sweaty dd problem, dd2 sweats ALOT but then it is very, very hot here. I was quite concerned about it and worried it was a sign of something else, but she is still quite chubby and getting used to the heat I guess. However, she doesn't really smell with it (apart from her feet) so I would agree it might be something like a bacterial infection?

On the potty training, she has probably regressed a bit due to your move, the changes with her dad not being around so much etc. It's a real pain for you but I would wait a while before getting too upset, hopefully when you all feel more settled she will be fine again. She might seem fine on the outside but this could be a sign that she's not too sure what's going on. It's a really awkward age as she's still a little young to understand why things happen but she can't adjust as quickly as the younger ones can.

No advice I'm afraid clairey - DD and DS occasionally smell a bit but if it is daily then it might be worth checking out with the GP

How rude and presumptuous of your H to just walk into your house as if he lived there - I would be fuming. Do you think it would work to set some very firm ground rules? He doesn't sound like a ground rule kinda guy though I have to say. How do you feel seeing him now that you are not together any more? I think I would find it completely impossible to be nice - are you able to be polite for the sake of the DC?

Good timing with DS self-training, what with the extra expense of disposables and everything - what a lovely considerate son you have! DD did a wee in the potty last night to try and 'teach' DS what to do - he could not believe his eyes when he saw what she'd done - was almost hyseterical with joy/excitement - which means DD has now taken to doing ALL her wees on the potty instead of the toilet (sigh)

Clara thanks, she has wet herself 3 times today and I'm fed up! Preschool keyworker said all of what you did and added in that maybe ds starting to use toilet has made her regress as well. It is so hard to stay calm when I know she can control her bladder but just isn't. Makes me feel lke I'm doing something wrong.

RE the smell, it isn't every day just sometimes if she has been running around a lot or got hot, will pay more attention to washing and see

Skid I've kind of blocked myself off so I don't feel anything towards him. When he comes I don't really look at him or talk to him tbh

Clairey, have you tried talking to your DD about the wetting? Is she aware of it as a problem? Do you think she's doing it to get attention or is just more preoccupied than normal at the moment? Would she respond to a star chart or something like that do you think? You could make it a competition between her and DS!

Completely understand your attitude to H, pretty normal coping mechanism I'd say. Its probably annoying the hell out of him but he has to come to realise that nothing will change your mind. Stay strong!

I guess its possible for kids to get athlete's foot?? Might be worth checking anyway.

Skid - we went through that with dd1 reverting to the potty in her attempts to train dd2. Luckily she seems to have gone back to using the toilet again, I think the potty was just a novelty for a while.

I am still worried we have potty trained dd2 too early as she has lots of accidents, poos in her pants at least 50% of the time (yesterday one in her pants at school, then one in her potty at home). This morning she also wee'd while siting on dh's lap....But her teachers are saying stick with it.

Poor old Martha is COVERED in bites at the moment, not sure whether mozzies or sand flies, whatever it is she has reacted really badly. Luckily they don't seem to itch or bother her but she is having anti-histamine as they look like they are becoming infected.