December 2007 - Not Quite Two, Already Terrible ;)

[claraquack]

Just checking that this worked....

FO - all you have proved is that you are human. And it must be tough bringing up your dcs on your own. Don't beat yourself up about it, you walked away at the right time, before you got in too deep.

Hi Cazzy! I am dreading Martha's birthday (in three week's time). I don't know enough little girls and boys are banned! Almost all my friends here have boys...dd1 invited her whole class but there are only 14 of them - dd2 has around 25 or so and I can't face it.

Skid - well I will be going back to real life very soon with no cleaner and no guest cottage! This expat life is a wierd experience. I don't like it though, yes it's great to have someone clean my house but I HATE having someone else in my home. I never feel comfortable when she is here (3 x per week). But it is too hot to do it all myself, and besides which people here need the jobs. Oh and I am a lazy sod

Clairey, sorry I guess what I meant was deeper feelings. In my books you've behaved very honourably by cutting it off at this point. I hope you're OK.

Hi cazzy! I have scheduled in DD's party for sunday 5 Dec, I feel I have license to choose pretty much any day in Dec given that her actual birthday (30 Dec) is such a rubbish date! Have invited 1 from new nursery, 3 from old nursery plus 2 children of friends and that seems more than plenty. Combined with DD1, her 2 older cousins and siblings of invited 2/3yo friends it will still be quite a crowd.

BT, I didn't mind them speaking german to each other so much - although DD was not impressed that Daddy kept on forgetting to switch back to english when he talked to her! But it was very strange to basically be unable to communicate with this person. Hilarious too as she kept talking to me in German - bit like the stereotypical "englishman abroad" who just keeps repeating the same thing only louder each time

Glad it was crisis largely averted clara and yay for returning home soon!

Well I have fallen at first hurdle with wc...he came to do my windows on monday and nearly passed out (he has had flu) so came in and had a cup of tea and then fell asleep here for 2 hours. And then he came over for a bit last night. I should have said no when he asked if I wanted him to but jumped at the chance of some company. It was all fine, just watched a bit of telly together, but when he left I felt really sad again. Ah well, lesson learnt, is easier not to see him at all...(though we shall see whether I manage to stick to that this time )

And now you can really judge me seeing as we are talking birthdays...I am going to London on ds' for my friend's 30th Wouldn't have had a party for him anyway cos he doesn't like them but still feel guilty.

And I really need to forget how cute it was seeing poorly wc and poorly ds cuddled up asleep together, any tips on erasing that memory? It's not helping.

Be strong FO!!!

I can see why you would be tempted though :)

Thanks Skid for your comment on my photos I have still to get the lighting right but I was pleased with some of the pics I took! I hopefully have some more victims models coming round to practice on next weekend It sounds to me like your DS speaks well, my DS1 could barely string two words together at this age (never stops talking now). Dyslexia is something I worry about too as all of DH's family, including him, are dyslexic and around half of my family are - I am not and I think my DCs may have escaped it too (hopefully - touch wood). There is a slight question mark over DS2 as he consistantly gets/reads ds, bs and ps the wrong way round but he is so ahead with his reading and on target for writing so they weren't worried - they are only keeping an eye on him as there is so much of it in the family. He also learns his spellings perfectly for his tests but spells the same words phonetically when writing

Clara, sounds terrible where you are at the moment, still seen no news coverage here! I bet you will be glad to be home and able to 'settle' properly, do you have a date yet?

Buzzy, at DD's German Grandma! Reminds me of when I was quite small and my Italian Grandma (Old Nonna) came over on a visit, I didn't understand why nobody was speaking to her but she didn't understand a word of English!

Cazzy, I can't believe we're getting to the stage of birthdays already! Evie's seems like ages away but I guess its only 6 weeks, I've booked her a party on her actual birthday at a local soft play place (only because I got a half-price party voucher from the school summer fete). I'm not sure how I'm going to find 10 children to come although she and the DSs will take up 3 spaces so only 7 to invite! May just invite friends of hers rather than all their siblings as well. I think she will probably get a bike for her birthday too. I bought her a doll's house from ebay for Christmas - should be here Friday, I hope its nice!

Clairey, stay tough with the wc situation, you already know you've made the right decision and a real relationship with him wouldn't do you any good so stay strong!

Beckle - your pics on FB are lovely, I always admire them and feel very

Yes we are leaving on 19th dec, overnight flight so home on the 20th. Not yet sure where we will be staying for our last few nights as after the packers have taken everything it will be hard to stay here. We were going to go to our favourite hotel in the south of the island near the airport but thanks to the (lack of) water situation it's shut at the moment and not sure it will re-open in time.

Clairey - oh dear. What can I say? You know all the answers. It must be hard as he and you obviously get on so well and I can't imagine how lonely you must get sometimes. I will will another, single man your way....

clairey I think he needs to stop cleaning your windows seeing him at all atm is bound to make you sad. Hopefully forcing yourself not to see him at all for a while will help - and by then you will ahve met a lovely available trustworthy new man (I have found out that my sexy italian neighbour is completely untrustworthy but if you just fancy a quick fling...)

I was in France for DS's birthday last year. Don't feel guilty - go and enjoy!

beckle - that's interesting about your DS2 - I wonder if he is mildly dyslexic but obviously very intelligent and is therefore able to compensate really well? The main thing is that he's doing fine and is happy though which he clearly is And FWIW the likelihood of a DD being dyslexic with a family history of dyslexia is much lower (20%ish I think) than a DS so fingers crossed they will all be fine!

birthdays...

BT you have put in my head!

Skid he won't have to come for 8 weeks now so by then I'll be over it

Clara yes I think the hardest thing is that he is probably the only friend I have locally that feels he can come in and put the kettle on or fall asleep here when he's not well. Don't have to make any effort with him, we're just totally relaxed around each other. Maybe I should have gone back to Kent/London, got lots of those friends there! Or the perfect solution would be if there was an off switch for fancying someone

Another at beckle's pictures, I am rubbish at taking pictures. And I always forget to take my camera out so it looks like we never go anywhere!

Off to London tomorrow, dc's non-godly godmother is taking them to winter wonderland in Hyde Park (must remember the camera!)

LOL @ FO!

Hope you have a lovely time tomorrow, I am sure the kids will

Stranded - yey will be home in time for Christmas! at having no where to stay in the last few days, hope you get something sorted out!

BT - don't worry we will have somewhere to stay, loads of hotels here - we just don't know which one.

I want to go to winter wonderland!Especally as it sounds like it really will be a winter wonderland!

Clairey - I remember I recomemmded you stay where you are for continuity' sake for the dc's so now feeling slightly guilty that you wish you had moved. Is it something you could start planning, perhaps for the start of the new school year? Not having a support network around you must be really tough (and cheating WC's don't count as a support network!)

Thank you Clairey and Clara for liking my photos It is something I'd like to do properly at some point but I think I need to get some qualifications in it first as I don't know enough about the technical side. A very talented friend of mine has offered to take me along to the next wedding she does so I can practice (and pick up tips) A neighbour of mine asked me to do her wedding pics but I was too scared!

Clara, hopefully you'll be able to find a nice hotel for the few days you need it. How is the water situation in general now? You are coming home very close to Christmas, have you got somewhere to go straight away here? Am I right in thinking you still have a house here?

Skid, that's really interesting about dyslexia, I didn't know it was less likely to be passed to girls! Hopefully good news for DD's future, she's quite bright so if she does have it at all I'm sure she'll deal with it. My youngest brother is quite dyslexic but also very intelligent and once he got a little extra help at school, didn't struggle at all, he went on to get himself a nice degree and has a good office based job now. Hopefully if DS2 has it mildly then he'll take after that Uncle! Personally though I do think it is a spectrum on which we all sit, it just depends where we are on it as to how much it affects us IYKWIM?

Clairey, oooh, winter wonderland! We are hoping to take a trip there next weekend and take the children on the London Eye too , hope you have fun!

Clairey - let us know if wonderland is nay good (and how expensive) - was thinking of taking the kids

Clara - good luck with the move

Oh god Evie was so embarrassing at nursery yesterday - I am still cringing about it! All the other parents were picking up their child. I was saying "Come on Evie it is time to go home now" "one more minute then it coat on and we need to go and get the girls" - well would she come... she hid in the blinking wendy house! I had to pull her out of the window with her screaming and her little friend was bringing me her lunch box saying "Here you go Evie's mum". And I was smiling and saying "Thank you" in my nice teachers voice whilst Evie was screaming at the top of her voice "You're hurting me [I wasn't]; I don't want to go home etc etc"

Oh how mortifying!!! and everyone was looking at me including all the lovely nursery nurses

cazzy, don't be too mortified, I definitely think there's something about this particular age! We've had 3 major tantrums this week that lasted over 30 mins.

Clairey, my only tip is to visualise getting together with him and then having horrible conversations about gf, or worse finding he's cheating on you with someone else. I.e. replace the "nice" image with a not so nice one. And maybe when he does come in 8 weeks, try and be out, or go out when you see him arrive.

Oh dear Cazzy, ds did similar yesterday actually. When we picked up dd he ran ahead of me towards the school gate so I yelled at him to stop and wait for me which he did but as I approached him I held out my hand for him to hold and he started shouting 'no mummy, don't hurt me, don't hit me mummy' . Bet everyone now thinks I beat my kids!

Lots of tantrums here at the moment too, I think it has a lot to do with him being tired and a bit under the weather with the cough he's had.

That's a good tip buzzy thanks, will try that.

Clara don't feel bad! I don't think I could have coped with moving and having to find new schools etc then anyway. And I do like our life here for the most part. I have lots of daytime friends, people I see for coffee etc so am not lonely through the week. It's more the evenings and weekends where they are with their families. And mostly they aren't the sort that will just pop in but maybe that will change as I get to know some of them better.

Oooh and exciting news here is that dd can read! she has been bringing home 3 letter word cards to blend sounds and has been finding them really easy then last night she got an usborne phonics reader off the shelf and started to read it to me, did really really well

My DD too clairey - it's amazing isn't it? It seems like she's gone from nothing to reading by magic!

Clairey - Clevergiel

Clara - DS is still throwing tantrums. He won't brush his teeth, regularly throws tantrums when I take him to preschool and is incredibly stubborn.
I must confess I am finding him very wearying at the moment.
But at the same time is so sweet and affectionate and that makes up for all the crap stuff.

Yes three is a VERY difficult age, I learned that with dd1. Everyone goes on about the terrible twos but I think threes are harder.
BT - every single bloody evening I have to pin Martha down to do her teeth. It is VERY wering. She must be tired though, she is on the go from stupid o'clock in the morning until she drops at 7pm - including being at preschool every day 8-3pm and twice a week has swimming lessons afterwards....

Clairey - I can understand how difficult it must be at weekends and evenings. I remember after I had just moved to Jamaica and was single then how awful the weekends were. Is there a single mums club or anything you could join?

Clairey and Skid - dd1 started to read towards the end of the last school year but now she is in reception she is coming on in leaps and bounds! It's so amazing to see isn't it? Although she has started to turn into the teacher and reads to the class almost every day (swot)....

It is fascinating skid, must be even more so for you seeing as you have studied it Although I told friend's dp she had started to read and he was expecting her to be reading fluently and was disappointed when I explained it was only a few learned words and words that were easy to break down phonetically.

Just thought I'd better give Cazzy her report on winter wonderland
It's free to get in and you need tokens for the rides and cash for everything else. Tokens are £1 each and most rides are 2 or 3 tokens. BUT a lot of them also make an adult go on with children so you have to pay for both. One ride I would recommend is a carousel near the Jamie Oliver tent past the big wavy slide(was called something like jungle adventure), it lasted longer than most of the others and they took really good care of all the children on it eg they moved ds onto a smaller animal on the inside so he was less likely to fall off then the man stood next to him making sure he was ok and when it sped up sat on the animal next to him and put his hand on ds' back to make sure he was ok. Then when it finished he picked ds up and carried him off back to me and he was quite attractive

Have food and drink before you go because it is massively overpriced (more than the normal level of overpricing at that sort of thing -eg £4.50 for "mulled wine" that turned out to be mlled wine flavour hot drink-no actual wine involved). Some of the german stalls seemed more reasonable though.

There are some really nice stalls so worth a wander around, you just have to be prepared for dc asking to go on every bloody ride.

We got to Santa at 1.30 and the queue wasn't too long but we didn't wait because it was far too cold and ds had had enough, was too much walking for him really, especially with the walk from friend's house to station and then to actually get to hyde park, a buggy might have been a good idea.

Oh and there are plenty of toilets dotted around so even with dd's bladder it wasn't a problem

Good grief that sounds really expensive FO!!
Hope you all had a good time though

How did your DS get on with Santa? My mum took ds a couple of weeks ago, and he wouldn't go anywhere near him! Still got his present though

Not much luck with the potty training he has done a couple of wees on the floor, but has stood over the potty a couple of times, no wee in the potty though! Shall keep trying!

at Skid and Clairey's DDs for their reading! Its lovely when they start to learn, I still get a kick out of listening to my DSs read to me, so proud they can do it!

Cazzy, I'm thinking the Terrible Threes may be on their way for more than one of us! Evie was jumping on the sofa the other day... Me: Evie, stop jumping on the sofa
Evie: I not
Me: Evie, now please, stop jumping
Evie: I not jumping
Me: (warning tones) Evie... (walk towards her)
Evie: (hands in front of face in mock terror) Don't hurt me, don't hurt me!

Thankfully she then giggled a bit as my friends were round and I don't want them to think I beat my toddler!

Clairey, Winter Wonderland sounds good , still not sure if we're going next weekend or not, if its really cold we might give it a miss because DD will get really cold in her buggy (never leave home without one - she's too keen on going her own way). I'm not keen on being cold either

Talking of going her own way, DD decided to try and climb a high bar chair (at a christening, not a pub!) yesterday, fell off and managed to knock both her front teeth. One is really wobbly and the other a bit wobbly and a bit sore There was some blood too from the worst one. It doesn't seem quite as wobbly today but I have an appointment for the dentist tomorrow for her and I'm trying to make sure she doesn't bite anything. Unfortunately I don't think it will help her that she sucks her thumb (although doesn't hook her fingers over her nose so not as bad for pulling the teeth forward). I really hope she doesn't loose them She's gutted today that she can't have an apple, she loves them I've been trying to explain why she needs to be careful but DS1 has lost quite a few teeth lately and the idea of the Tooth Fairy visiting quite appeals to her I think

Ooh, I also just noticed we are only 25 posts or so away from needing a new thread, any ideas?

Beckle - you need to change your name back (or to a Christmas one).

Oh dear to your dd's teeth poor thing. What will happen if they come out? Surely she needs them to eat with?

On the reading front perhaps you wisened people with older dc's can help. dd1 is nw reading pretty competently but obviously the sort of books she can read and the ones we get from the school are not particularly exciting. Are there any books for this sort of age (5) which make reading more fun for her?

Also when did you start reading them proper books? I have tried with the Faraway Tree but she is having none of it. I think once she gets into it she will like it but she is put off by the lack of pictures.

Clairey - hmmm not sure about Winter Wonderland. Would you do it again? It sounds bit like a jumped up fairground to me.

Yes we need a new thread. I started this one. someone else need so think of a name!