August 2008 - Things That Shout 'Mum' in the Night

[UndeadLentil]

Ta da ...

ann you are right, stopping the night feeds with a decisive action is the way to go. S needs to be taught how to go to sleep without a boob, and then be taught how to self settle. As I said before, it might be easier to tackle one thing at a time but only YOU know the best way to do it for your baby. Good idea to get P out the way too. Dh was useless when I was stopping ds1's night feeds . Good luck gal. Do you have a date in mind?

heya sazz & dizzy oop north

hello to everyone else too

wini cc put it into words perfectly.

I think getting rid of dp while you do it could be good, but without wanting to put a spanner in the works.
I can only leave ds to cry/scream or whinge when dh is on nights as he can't let him cry.
One because he hates it and the other because he is up early for work.

So like last night dh was up on early shift this am so letting him whinge is difficult.

I am hoping that after nearly a fornight of self settling last night won't have ruined it, by me going in shushing patting and giving milk.
sorry.

Wini Would recommend to give him something calorific like fatty cowsmilk or formula or a big bowl of porridge before bedtime so you are 100% confident he's not actually hungry or thirsty.

Dizzy Yes we need lemon curd muffin recipe please.

Breakthrough today, DD has gone to play with new friend. Much terror and tears last night and I gave her some ideas of things to talk to friend's parents about as she was frightened of them too. But now I have no idea whether she will be fed or not as they don't seem to eat til 7pm when our kids are in bed! I am always amazed at kids who can get through 5hrs without a meal and cope with less than 12hrs sleep! I stuffed a few mini cakes in her on the way home just in case.

buckets I always have that pang of guilt at the back of my mind of what if he is hungry.
bless your dd, hope she copes ok.
Also very sweet of Kurt yelling her name.

Buckets of luck to your dd.
It does sound hard for all of you, but she has made it there and that is great progress.

Ann - it is good to have a plan. Have you set a regular wake-up time in the morning too so that the night is marked out at both ends iyswim?

Well that's it, 2am is no time for self-doubt! I'm sure he'll be fine once he's getting his deep sleep, he won't be able to resist staying asleep.

Just took advantage of not having fussy DD to serve up pasta with tomato and chili sauce for me and the boys. They loved it (of course)! Kurt went quite pink and sighed (happily) a lot and I felt like I was eating in a restaurant it was such a change. Lloyd Grossman, you may visit my kitchen again. Maybe I should just give up battling to serve just one meal and make DD separate ones. Is it crapper parenting to stick to your guns and give them control issues or to capitulate and cook twice for the sake of peace (and tastier food)?

Ann I've sorted your grobag today hopefully ds won't mind that it has a lot of some flowers on it. They are quite blue and there are also stripes. Hope it arrives in time to coincide with your action plan. Good luck.

I have made meatloaf from Jamie O's Ministry of Food book, I don't know what it will be like but I have scratched the bit between lip and nose with chilli fingernails and I am going insane with the heat!!!!

Hope dd's visit goes well Buckets.

Ooooooooooo lemon curd in any form mmmmmmmmmm.

Temporary visitors welcome to fill Sazzles and Hotter shaped holes here anyone like to lose a couple of pounds or puff a mile?

Buckets I have the same problem with DD1. Drives me insane!!! I know she would absolutely love what I fix if she'd get over her control issue about it. It's a hard call to let it be to see if dies out or stand firm to show who's in charge.

VG I wouldn't even know where to begin if I popped over.

VG I'll be back - haven't managed to find time for running this last week and too skint for yoga after all these birthdays [that's my excuse emoticon], but I'll be back, I tells ya!

DS in very funny mood today. We've been to a friend's where he was utterly charming and had fun with his three little NCT mates. Put him down for a sleep when we got back, about 2.45 - all fine until he woke at 4.15 screaming in absolute terror! No idea what was wrong but he usually wakes up singing - this time he was staring into the corner of his room, bug-eyed, looking like he'd seen a ghost. Quite freaked me out actually. After that he was lively but screamy, i.e. letting out many long, loud yells when thwarted in his desire to wreak havoc in the house.

DP doing bedtime as I am off out in a minute to a short fiction night at the local theatre. It's Halloween-themed as if I hadn't had enough scares for one day!

Just to let you know I am back, and feeling much better, phew. Thank you all so much for your kind messages, it was greatly appreciated and no doubt aided the healing process Turns out it wasn't food poisoning but a bug, as 36 hours after going home from my house my (vegetarian) sister has been puking etc like a good 'un too but at least my cooking has been exonerated!

VG I will check back in to HotMamas tomorrow but now I need to go and have my tea as the catering on the cross country trains has turned rubbish since Virgin stopped doing it

TS This has been building and building since she was about 2 and I'm sure contributes to her general anxiety. I've got to admit that my way just makes her worse. I think I'm going to try letting her have the plainer food she wants. Hopefully she'll start to feel left out and want to join in (without starting a whole anxiety about exclusion yadayadayada .)

Her evening was fine btw, she had plain pasta there whie everyone else had sauce. Me and the boys stayed for a glass of wine with her friend's mum (well me anyway) when we came to pick her up.

This is good because I haven't told you all about my problem with her DH! Basically he and I really click and because I never learnt how to be friends with a guy without jumping on him, I always feel kinda weird and like I'm going to say/do something totally inappropriate. He is totally not a dreamboat or anything but has made me stop thinking about my David Tennant neighbour quite so much (phew). So hopefully by getting to know his wife more (who I don't click with much) I am hoping to stop going all female pheromoney when he's around. Reckon we must have something in common since we both get on with him so well! God I'm such a teenager.

Aaargh really tense and thinking about chocolate and carbs today. Just looked at calendar and it is CD22 which makes sense. Did anyone else only get PMT after having kids?

Buckets I absolutely completely understand. LOL!

My PMT is so much worse since having DS (((everyone around me)))

Short fiction night was fantastic, really inspiring, and I made myself go and talk to a v useful person re. my dissertation (she was lovely). Need to go to bed now, laters all

Heading to bed now.

That sounds like a fab evening Cyteen. I'd love to hear about your dissertation at some stage too.

Buckets, firstly well done to dd1 for her visit. I'll stand her a round of lemon curd muffins for her courage. God, I love lemon curd.

About the eating, here is a quick list of suggestions many of which you might have tried re giving her control while gently encouraging her to eat a wider range of stuff.

Have a 'cafe night' where she picks the menu, draws a menu, helps to cook a bit and acts as waitress. Gives her a bit of control over what people eat, and a sense of the whole process from your end.

Go to supermarket and ask her to pick one new thing to try. Maud's latest offerings on this front: a jar of gherkins and a tin of 'fruit cock'. Spotting a theme anyone?

As long as she even tries to taste the new thing that's fine. Maybe a chart for liked it, might try again, disliked it? She likes arting if I remember rightly.

Get her to help with the budget for one meal, not mentioning in any way that that might link to costs involved in cooking twice, but just again getting her to think about everything that is involved.

Food served as much as poss in bowls in the middle so that she controls what she eats and portion sizes. You get to keep control of what's offered.

Give her the job of showing Kurt how to eat new things. So she sees him reject stuff but keep trying it and then like it. And maybe tries a new thing with him. She's trying too but the attention is off her while she does it.

While I index, my brain is free to roam you see.

And now I really must sleep.

Lentil lots of great advice again on the mealtimes.

Ann sorry to hear the nights still not going well. I think once we'd decided on a plan of action (this was when ds was about 10 months) I felt a whole lot better. I also started when dh was out for the night. Anway it worked in that he will go to sleep on his own but still can't sort out the early morning wake ups - another 5am start here!

I am very excited as DH has got through to the first round for his promotion. I am not allowed to tell anyone else as there is still only a 30-50% chance (or so he tells me) that he will get it. But still I am very proud of him and wanted to share it with someone. I may also be asking for help with his questionnaire completion (he has to do this and some interviews)!

Mornings snots.
Great news on dh's progress. We'll need TS's pompoms.

As to the advice, I edit out the fuckwittery that characterises so many of my parenting decisions.

Porridge with cranberries and raisins and a pot of coffeee for anyone who would like it.

Morning all

DD is doing fantastically on the sleeping front finally with some regularity. ALthough this morning she may have slept longer if I hadn't paniced at 5.15 thinking I hadn't heard her all night and went o check her and woke her so she came in with us and slept until 7 with intermitent yelling boob and going back to sleep. MS has kicked in big time and I thing DH is getting a bit tired of it already, he says his memory of the 8-12 week period last time is too fresh in his mind. I am apparently humourless, hormonal and over reacting.

Ban and raisin muffins here - I made them last night in a rare moment of energy. I also made a very delicious sauage and lentil hotpot thingie.

Buckets - I think Dead has some fantastic ideas about food.

Snot - Good news on DH's work front, will keep everything crossed for the next stage.

I took DD to a soft play centre yesterday for the first time and she loved it - she learnt to climb and yelled to go down the giant slide without me. We compromised but me going down on the slide next to her and holding hands - she giggled like a loon!

We are currently watching the grey miserable drizzle out the window trying to find things to do whilst stuck in the sitting room with the tiler grouting and cutting in the rest of the downstairs. Poor DD has watched a silly amount of telly in the last few days. I can't wait until they are all GONE and we have the house back.

oops - charming! Just for that I think you should puke in his sock drawer Honestly, it's not much thanks for the hard work of growing his PSB is it?

Well done to your PFB on the good sleeping; we had similar in that I had to wake DS up this morning He was so deeply asleep all night, I kept waking up in a panic thinking 'It's too quiet'. Will the fear ever go? After having had such bad luck with losing much-loved family members, I can't help being constantly afraid.

Can I have your sausage and lentil hotpot recipe please? We have some snorkers in the fridge that need using up

Lentil as ever you speak sage words. I'll be happy to bore tell you about my dissy at some point in the future, i.e. when it's actually got a title and some shape

Snotmonster many cheers for your DH!

Cyteen - not much of a recipe, I just threw a packet of sausages, a chopped red onion, chopped sweet potato, and 1/3 of a chopped butternut, stock cube, a chopped potato, 1/2 a box of passata in a cassarole dish. I added a bit more seasoning for DH and I once I had take DD's out. Cooked in a hot oven for 1.5 hours then left to simmer for another hourswhilst we got DD to bed and got sorted. Next time I might put it on mid afternoon and let it cook until dinnertime.

As for puking in DH's sock drawer I would if I didn't have my socks in there too

Dizzy, Sazz and Poppy have a greeat day out today!

That sounds great and helpfully incorporates several other things I need to use up Cheers!

Morning oops. Sorry to hear you're feeling so tired and sick, but also v. pleased.

I am in awe of your creative parenting lentil. Would so love to be like that.... Your stamina is incredible too.

Your plan to get DP out of the way for a few days to tackle the sleeping sounds very sensible ann. He really needs to understand how important it is, for you both, and that afterwards you are going to need some serious pampering. Can MIL help to get that message across? In some ways the bigger deal you make of it (he has to move out, you need to dedicate yourself to it 100% etc.) the more he might realise just what an effort you're making and how hard it will be.

V. of all these PhD plans. I have my own, but I think they'll need to wait until DD2 starts school. However, I do think it's going to happen this time. [exceptionally hopeful emoticon]. Will need to do it part-time so the DDs will be at senior school before I finish, but probably wouldn't be in a position to do anything with it before then anyway. For now though I have my second French class tonight. Woo hoo.

Currently awaiting instructions from dizzy about today's activities as the weather here is just sooooo exceptionally shite that our plans have been quite literally blown away. Still very excited though, as is DD1 too who already adores mididixie and cannot wait to meet the elderminisazz.

Meant to say how pleased I was CC to hear that your sis is doing so well. It's given me lots of hope for BIL.

Hi cyteen . You beat me to it.. I too meant to ask for the recipe. Thanks oops. Sounds yum. Will have to have a go.

Know what you mean about the fear cyteen. I have found that it hasn't been as bad as I feared it would be (iyswim!). My sister died of cot death and my big fear with DD1 was that I'd never relax and would be constantly sticking my finger under her nose to check her breathing. In fact, the one advantage of a horrendous and long birth and a baby that didn't sleep for the first week is that after that I was SO exhausted that every time I lay down to sleep, I did and before I knew it I had got used to her being ok rather than worrying. Still, there were the heart-stopping moments with them both when they first sleep through the night etc. but I know exactly where you're coming from.

Forgot to say before, congrats to your DH snot and fingers crossed for the next stages. Keep us posted!