December 2006- Here's to pre-school newbies, business starters and twin survivers.

[Indith]

Oh go on then.

I'm rubbish at titles though but I bow down to Oli's cakes and supermum.

Building sounds like it's coming on a storm oli, you're putting me off ever having an extension done tho! We have sadly had to decide not to move house this year, the recession is making it too risky for us. I feel really disappointed and upset, so desperate for more space. I know we have a lovely house and garden but it's not built for 6!

Found a dress, don't look too vile (thank you indith, you're very kind ). Not sure if I'll need spanx will ask dp tonight when I model for him. might make me feel more comfortable tho. What do you think? Just need bag, shoes, hat now (sigh) Hadn't planned on this expense but I haven't bought a dress in 10 or 12 years!

What's happening WB, are they keeping you in hospital for the duration?

Lovely dress

Shame about the house move decision

That dress is beautiful, it's my mum's 60th in the summer and that would be perfect! I don't think you'd need anything under it either (well, some underwear would be good ), the shape of it looks very flattering.

It's a real shame about the house move though. I'm guessing from experience that the older the dts get, the more you need some more space.

Ahh, thank you both, I'm feeling much more relaxed now I have a dress. Checked dress code and it is acceptable, god they're fussy. Oli, b happy to loan it to you except I think you're several sizes smaller than me! God knows I don't think I'll be wearing it any other time although I must say there are some lovely dresses out there I hadn't realised. I've ruled myself out of that area for so many years.
It's really lack of a kitchen diner that's the problem plus bedrooms as the kids get older. I spend my whole time sprinting between kitchen/living/dining rooms with ds3 screaming through the process. Lovely boy, I could do without the full on tantrums at 20 months tho. Plus dd ill all week, haven't her usual cheeriness to egg me on.
What are you gaining with your extension oli? (don't think about the mess, don't think about the mess!)

Just realised it looked like I was yawning at AQ Was just a general "I'm shattered" yawn promise!

Dining area off the kitchen, AQ, for exactly the reasons you mention! It's not huge but it will free up so much space in the actual kitchen so that I can have a separate cake making area out of the way of the dcs and the general cooking area. We've been really lucky in that dh's great aunt left us a trust fund that has just matured, which is the only reason we can afford to do it.

I'm trying unsuccessfully to lose some of the weight I put back on over the winter before Mum's party but I definitely won't be less than a 14, probably more of a 16 if I'm honest . So your dress may well fit!

We're off to the races in a couple of weeks but I don't think the dress code is as strict as it is for you. Hope not, I've only got one 'smart' dress which is being worn to everything posh-ish atm.

back at Indith. Dd not sleeping again? Send her to join ds2, he's taken to waking at 3am every night again recently. Then fidgeting and fussing for a good hour or so instead of going back to sleep. Just when I thought we'd cracked it too.

Darn kids .

Dress is beautiful AQ, really lovely colour. Am certain you will look amazing, don't be so hard on yourself.

Oli - much respect for putting up with builders, we had them in a couple of years ago when DD was tiny and it was terrible. Worth it in the end though.

DD also not sleeping, nightmares about chocolate sweet covered crocodiles have done it already tonight and we now have a child on an airbed in our room. So much for a sex life.

Fracture clinic today and it turns out she has clean broken her collarbone - not what we were told in A&E last week. So that 3-4 week recovery has been upped to 12-18 months. Nice one hospital. Poor DD, no wonder she is still in pain, and I had laid off the calpol as thought it should be all but healed by now. [bad parent emoticon]

We are thinking of changing our existing kitchen into a dining room and utility room and converting DH's old office into a new kitchen/diner and downstairs toilet. Still a pipe dream at the moment though.

Any news from WB? Is she in hospital now?

Oh the poor girl Lenni

Oh dd gearing up to scream again. Wonderful. Night night!

Oh god poor dd, lenni! Yikes, will that involve physio and the like? DS2 has physio assessment in a couple of weeks I shall ask about broken collarbones. Don't feel like bad mummy, hospital gave you completely wrong information.

I can't believe in a bit more than a year our Dec 06 babies will be going to school. Although ds2 has grown up so much just in last 2 months, they like these little spurts don't they? Might take me time to adapt tho, he's gone from wandering round aimlessly whilst dts are asleep and I do endless chores to grilling me exactly about what i"m doing and what I'll be doing next.

I'm sure the building will be worth it, you've got to invest in the cake business Oli as it's doing soooo well.

Hope sleep not that bad indith, hows the bedrooom sharing going? DS1 & DS2 have new bunk beds at GM's house tonight, I'm thinking some at ours as well!

DM has persuaded me other dress I bought much better, hmmm don't know what to do now! It's an 18, Oli Caught sight of myself in video dp was watching tonight, erggh. I am quite deliberately using food to cope with things, just can't figure out another way right now. I did get ADs upped, can't bear to have any more.

Mm, recognise the using food as an emotional crutch, that's my problem too. I got really bad with it when the depression started again at the end of last year and I just can't shake the habit. I need to though, can't bear the thought of facing my size 8 cousins in August looking as I do now .

They do come on in leaps - DD has had a plodding along spell since the flu at Christmas, not really grown or changed too much. I think it knocked her back physically with losing so much weight, but hopefully (once this damned collarbone eases) she'll be back on track soon. She is almost back to her 'right' weight now anyway. Not sure there is much they can do with her collarbone AQ. It has a bone spur or something that they were pleased about (big hard lump on the surface, looks like a golfball on her shoulder) apparently that means it is healing.

Can you fb pictures of yourself in the dresses AQ so we can help decide? Or is that too scary? I would be too scared - but I have terrible legs.

Yes, can also identify with comfort eating. I am giving up sugar and caffeine tomorrow as it has got to the stage where I am just living on sugar, haven't really eaten a proper balanced meal today, just keep topping up my sugar and caffeine to get through the day. No wonder I can't sleep and have massive headaches all the time. So detox starts tomorrow and hopefully I can shift this last couple of stone.

Just googled broken collarbone, wish I'd done that earlier. NHS website says bone should be intact in 6 weeks for a complete break in a young child but will take a few months to heal and longer for the lump to go. So hopefully over the worst in a couple more weeks.

AQ, the dress is really lovely. I'll bet that color looks terrific on you.

Lenni, at the broken collarbone

Have lived through dh doing renovations but I don't think I could do it again.

Sorry, I'm not here so much lately. Just really tired atm. The fundraiser was fairly successful Friday then I worked at a contract clinic Saturday and Sunday. Light day at work today and then Wednesday we go on vacation! Well, just a long weekend but I'm hoping it really is at least a little restful.

That sounds more hopeful Lenni.

Jabber hope you get some rest

AQ room sharing is fine. THe first week or so they were both up stupidly early but that seems to have stopped. Ds need a lot more sleep than dd so he just crashed out when they go to bed and she chats and sings for an hour or so then in the morning as soon as we hear dd awake we go get her and ds stays asleep. They don't bother each other at all over night, one of them can be awake crying and the other sleeps through it.

Been battling comfort eating here too. Apparently making buns and cakes and cookies (to entertain the children obviously) and then eating them all before dh gets home eventually catches up with your tummy. Who knew? Been trying not to do so much baking and not to buy a slice of cake every time I go to the shops. Also eating smaller portions at meal times as I was keeping pace with dh which was fine when exclusively feeding and he wasn't doing exercise but since he was allowed by the physio to start rowing he has been eating more and I was still keeping pace

I'm still around, just been overwhelmed with stuff to do and to many weddings to attend!

They decided against bed rest as they have decided they don't think it is anything that I am doing specifically, though obviously under instructions not to over do it!

We are trying to finish off the last of the renovations before bump arrives which is never going to happen as the main area left to do is the kitchen and we have no money....

Have been having a huge declutter and listing lots on ebay to try and fund some of the final costs now I no longer have a job and I am selling organised mum products again to raise a few more pennies.

We would love to extend we have the space to, but not the money and I can't see us having it anytime soon with the current climate! We would, if we had the money go 2 story across the whole of the back of the house, which would create a 4th bedroom, an ensuite for the main bedroom and increase the 3rd bedroom size and increase the family bathroom as well as creating a storage cupboard. Downstairs we would have a huge diner / kitchen, double the size of our lounge and create a downstairs toilet.

Not that I have it planned or anything

WARNING! Major moan alert. You don't have to read it, I just need to type it otherwise my head will probably implode while I'm in bed seething.

I am very, very busy with cakes at the moment. I had to do 2 last week and I'm doing 3 proper orders plus 2 extra cakes and 150 cupcakes for our village fete on Staurday so I can market myself a bit.

On top of doing all that, DS2 is at home everyday apart from Tues and Fri mornings. The builders are here. The house is a mess - full of dust and we're still not straight from being on holiday.

DH was away last night and as usual I had a bad night with the dcs (and the dog ) so I had about 3 hours sleep.

Tonight DH announces that as I'm doing cakes all evening and he's had a stressful couple of days with work that he's off to the pub for a couple of pints. He leaves at 7:30 and comes back at 11:30, pissed.

I have spent all evening doing cakes. The tea things are still on the table, the dishwasher needs emptying, the washing machine needs emptying and another load putting on, the playroom needs tidying, as does the lounge, everywhere needs a good sweep through, the bin needs emptying, the washing up needs doing.

DH sits down in the lounge, eats his way through a bag of pistachio nuts, leaving dropped bits of shell all over the place. Ignores every bit of mess, leaves his shoes in the middle of the floor, his empty glass and nut shells on the side table and buggers off to bed.

So I finish tidying away my cake things just after midnight, then have to start on all the rest of the jobs.

I'm so bloody angry with the selfish git. Yes, he's had a busy, stressful couple of days away running a conference but I haven't exactly been sitting on my arse. I was up til midnight last night, I'm going to be up til midnight every night this week without fail, plus I looked after the dcs on my own and sorted out all the things the builders wanted too. On barely any sleep.

Why doesn't it occur to him that it would be nice, or just plain considerate to share some of the other work that needs doing? But no, that's all my job apparently.

Stupid fucking ARSE

Oli - I hope you feel better this morning and got some sleep. Agree he was an arse, men's brains don't seem to engage do they? DH the same, he doesn't see it as his job, in fact if he helps with anything around the house he expects brownie points for doing it - like he's done something special. I do have to tell him to get over himself and muck in hourly quite often. Bedtime is the worst, he thinks doing bedtime involves switching on CBeebies and hoping the children will somehow fall asleep. The notion that he might actually have to leave his armchair and do something is usually met with derision.

I have got him trained up on the washing now though, I barely do any of that anymore. A small victory claimed there.

Aw poor Oli, you have my sympathy! I hope you feel better today

This is totally why I find it much 'easier' to be a 'single mum' then everything is down to me and I don't have to feel disappointed or totally pissed off (usually) that it's me doing everything. Sigh. Sometimes I have to really think hard about the benefits of being married. Answers on a post card please

That's a bit too close to the line for comfort sometimes, castles . It is exactly as you say, it's easier when they're away as you don't have any expectations of them.

At least it's not just DH, I guess. He will do bedtime but then I have to go around picking up the discarded clothes and putting them in the washing bin, putting the toothbrushes away, swilling out the sink, etc, etc. Bedtime appears to stop at the actual process of putting them into bed. And if he's putting all 3 of them to bed I'm usually clearing up from dinner, doing washing, tidying, doing a cake..............

Meh.

I did have a bit of a shout this morning and he's trying to make amends without actually apologising which is his way of keeping the peace even though he thinks I'm wrong . Haven't got the energy to make my point this week.

Oli I'm sorry.

Have you had a good talk about things now that you are so busy with cakes? Maybe he needs it beating into his head a bit that with you being so busy housework needs to be a bit more spread out. Might not cure the leaving things scattered around though, don't think there is a cure for that!

oli, I share your frustration! Similar situation here. I finally hired a housekeeper for twice a month and an afternoon nanny as it was just sooo overwhelming trying to keep up and dh felt that he just hadn't the energy to do it all while I'm at work Of course, that's just more money dribbling out of our savings while I get the new clinic going but at this point I guess it's worth it to save my sanity

God, men, will they ever change? Sounds like a crap week for you Oli, and he's an arse if he can't see that. We have a system of one does the kitchen, the other does the dining room/living room every night. This came into play when the dts were born I think, so prior to this there were a LOT more arguments even tho we have had a cleaner most of the time for last 6 years. Obviously goes without saying that all of the other rooms seem to fall in my zone as well. Do you have a specific routine so he knows what he has to do rather than you ask him every night (construed as nagging in my house)? Works well for small children and men
Are you (please) going to have a slow week next week, Oli, cause you can't keep this up working all day and all night on 3 hours sleep. They're gorgeous cakes, but you don't want to get to the end of your tether about them iykwim? DH still an arse obviously

AQ.

Just one cake next week, for our lovely babysitter so I couldn't say no. This week is spectacularly mad because of the village show which seemed a good idea until I got 3 real orders (1 is a regular, the others were new so didn't want to turn them down), so I'm flat out. It's just typical that the night dh is away is the night the dcs are all up and the dog had eaten something she shouldn't so needed to keep going out. Got a decent night last night once I went to bed and am ahead of myself today so about to go to bed. MILs having ds2 all day tomorrow, bless her so I'm a bit less stressed now!

The kitchen is being ripped out on Tuesday as they knock through so I'll be on enforced rest until the middle of July anyway .

You have all made me feel a lot better though, it's nice to know sometimes it is 'just' a man thing rather than deliberate arseholeness.

Not entirely sure having your kitchen ripped out counts as a rest Oli!

Love the sun. The dcs have been playing in the birth pool in the garden. Makes a great paddling pool