AUGUST 2008 - Ladies & Babies Enjoying Life

[TwilightSurfer]

How's that?

Thats a cunning plan Ann Glad you are feeling a little more human. Do think about the HV though?

Is the tea nice? Mine's delish

mmmm Tea is always good. (unless made by DP in which case it's not very nice )
I haven't seen HV in I don't even know how long. Might see about giving them a call actually.
Might head to bed after all. MIL will be dropping little man off again about 2pm.

Ann does your mobile carrier have an online website where you can check voicemails? Mine you can call the number from any phone (land or not) and it puts you straight into voicemail so you can retreave your messages or change your voicemail options.

Also, Ann you are sooooo not alone in how you feel. My dd1 was a HORRIBLE sleeper. I found that much of my frustration was with me. I was unable to tolerate at length the amount of change she FORCED on me. I gave up trying to change her and let go of her trying to change me. I realized leaving her to cry was just part of her nature when it was something she didn't want to do. iPods are great for drowning out this nonsense. A baby, just like everybody else on the planet, needs sleep. If said baby wants to stand in their crib and cry instead of sleeping, that wasn't my fault. Eventually they figure out their way and so do we. (((hugs)))

I had another wisdom gem but lost it.... How'd that happen??? I've not moved from desk. It will come to me later I'm sure.

OH I remember!

Miamla, my dd1 was quite often frowned at at playgroups. I found a shirt to wear to said playgroups. I reads KISS MY BLARNEY STONE! My former dance teacher, who's grandson was 10 times wilder than my dd1, was in one of said playgroups and noticed my t-shirt one day. She came over, nudged me and said, "Like the Shirt!" Kids are kids FFS!!!! They grow into civilized folk with time but that don't pop out the VaJaJa that way. Geeezzz!

Okay. Today is a no school day and both KIDS are up at 6am. Now it's 7am and DH IS NOT out of bed. I need to shower and get this party started. I've got to travel 45min across town to my dad's because they JUST realized they're no longer recieving mail in Hawaii which means their mail must be filling up their mailbox here. This means I will probably have to go to the post office too. I have to return a dress for dd1 and purchase the skirt instead for the family picture tomorrow. I also need to get her tights. I need to stop somewhere and find myself something to wear in said picture and possible look for dh a new jacket or shirt. Along the way I need to stop in at a minute clinic and get a strep test because my throat feels like and looks like STREP! Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks shall be provided along the way too. I need to REST and I need to do something else but it escapes me at 7 FKing AM.

Hope ya'll enjoy your day (and your sunshine if you've got it).

For all the shoe lovers among us....
These are the shoes I purchased for BOTH the girls last night to go with their family portrait outfits. SOOOOOO CUTTEEEEEE!!!

And This is Reese's dress (the top is to the right). This is the skirt we're going back for this morning for Kinsley.]] She'll wear a top that's exactly the same as Reese's. She may also wear this hat.

TS,

Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous

So sorry you are having bad nights Ann..it makes you feel so horrible and i completely sympathise {{hugs}}...

Wotcha everyone else xxx

Afternoon all

Preschool this morning, then an hours tromp up the Beacon with some other Mummies - very cold and windy BRRRRRRRRR. DD's now in bed, but DD2 has been singing since 1.15 . Hopefully she will bore herself so i can go and have a warming bath before DD1 wakes

ann sorry your night(s) have been so so crap. As VG says, let us know if you want any suggestions for alternative strategies from us so you can pick and choose which you like the sound of. Hope you are resting now

TS you always make me laugh reading your posts, you are like a coiled spring, ready to shoot off in a 1000 directions . Lovely, lovely dresses and i am in awe of you being so organised to get your family Xmas pic sorted now

or there is this one

Red Cabbage
1 red cabbage, finely shredded
50g (2oz) redcurrant jelly
50ml (2fl oz) sherry vinegar
Zest and juice of 1 orange
120ml (4fl oz) port
½ bottle red wine
85g (3oz) raisins (i don't add these but sometimes grate an apple in)
50g (2oz) butter

Remove the coarse outer leaves, quarter it and cut out and discard the root & finely slice.
Heat a large pan and add 50 g
(2 oz) of butter. When it sizzles, add the cabbage and stir in to coat. Add the
redcurrant jelly and allow it to melt. Add the vinegar, orange, port, the red wine
and some seasoning.
Bring it to the boil, reduce to a simmer and cover with a lid and cook for 1 1/2
hours, then remove the lid, add the raisins increase the heat and reduce the
liquid to a syrup. When it?s ready check and adjust seasoning.

or there is this one with lower alcohol content

Ann Is it time to resort to druggery? If he's waking up that much he might not be getting enough deep sleep - vicious cycle. I know a few people who have had success using the travel sickness medicine Fenergan (sp?) By knocking them out at the required time a few days in a row their bodies learn to like solid sleeping. You can get it over the counter but don't tell them it's for sleep training or small kids.

Bought Kurt some pre-walkers today, 4.5H! DD is off sick again with sore throat, nausea and bit of a temp.

Took her to play with PILs this morning and scored a mayoral reference from FIL in just 5 minutes. I also forgot to tell you he has his own unwitting game of Funeral Bingo in that he goes to a LOT of them, used to take whole days off work for someone he vaguely knew. 'Big turnout', 'nice hymns', 'Catholic , bloody weirdos.' My mum has put a funeral-obsessed character in her latest book funnily enough (out December, will knobble you all about it nearer the time).

Ladies, you are all lovely (as always ) Well I've had a lie down, but didn't get to sleep DS not back yet.
Any sleep tips gratefully received, although I don't think controlled crying will work with him, as he gets into such a state that he starts retching It's really horrible. I don't think DP will go with the druggery idea either unfortunately. MIL even objects to medised, and DP even gets funny about giving Calpol DP phoned earlier, and thankfully he wasn't annoyed with me for my meltdown, which is an improvement on his part. He agress that we've got to try SOMETHING as this is ridiculous now.
Loving the 'bingo' talk. With my dad it would be conspiracy theory bingo. Key phrases include 'bildeburgers' (sp?) 'Tony Blair' 'Nazis' 'the rothschilds' and 'one world government' My dad believes any conspiracy theory that drifts within a 20 mile radius, no matter how improbable.

ann. Hugs and sympathy

Ok Ann, lets give it a whirl. First of all, tell us exactly what you do to get Seb ready for bed. Then say what you do when he wakes up?

Hi buckets albs and ts

O just down for his 2nd nap today. slept for 2 hours this morning

Ok, getting him ready for bed - generally he has dinner, doesn't always have a bath, then fresh nappy and clothes, bf and upstairs to bed. I just put him down and give him his dummy. Used to be he would just snuggle down and sleep. Now he snuggles down then starts screaming 2 minutes later.
wakeups - I generally have to pick up, bf for however long he chooses to then put down the same as before. I am not allowed to just lay him back down in his cot - he throws a hissy and gets into a complete sobbing screaming state.

Well you know what I'm thinking, dope him up and let DH marvel at the results for a few days then tell him how you did it. Or...

Bottle of formula at bedtime to zonk him out in a carbohydrate coma? Or...

Could try setting a hairdryer going outside his room or start hoovering at bedtime as soon as you've put him down? Bit of white noise might help him drift off. Or as TS says, bit of Most Relaxin' Classix Evvah cd/ipod?

Is he in a grobag? I swear these help with sleep too.

buckets I've been thinking about getting a grobag actually. Might try the hairdryer thing although knowing my nosy curious boy he'll just want to know what's making the noise
Neighbour is giving her son a good bollocking atm It's brilliant! 'I saw you do it!' 'I didn't!!' 'Yes you did, I saw you throw things at peoples' houses' 'I was trying to throw it in the alleyway!!' yeah right, my window is several feet away from the alleyway, and whatever it was hit my window. Although, when I think about how many times his sodding balls have come over into my garden... Maybe he's just got the worst aim ever?

Ann I have gro-bags to spare if you want to try but not buy as it were. FB me your address and how long Seb is I'll put one in the post for you.
Also say if you want a thick one or a thinner one - thick ones are quilted and the thin ones are like double thickness sweatshirt fabric.

Ones with zip/slit in the back are best if you can find them - means you can un/strap his pushchair/carseat wearing it. Great for camping and staying out late.

I think gro bags are the best things ever. Both my 2 have slept in them fom tiny. I happen to think that actual gro bags as opposed to cheapo imitations are worth the money.

ann can you bf him in his room with slightly dimmer lights (i use a bedside lamp) so he gets the idea it is not normal playtime bright lights etc. In the night I don't turn any lights on - the monitor has a nightlight which I was dubious about when we got it but it is fab for nighttime!!

Juat wanted to say ann I really feel for you, it is so utterly exhausting and frustrating.

I also think gro bags are great, even though ds has not had one for months. Just got one out recently as it has turned cold but too small.
He has never had covers either.

This is what works for me...

I also found that all night time feeds. Bottle or BF were better done in the bedroom only.
Bath or wash. Then straight to the bedroom. dried, pjs, story. Milk. Bed.

We changed our switches in all the bedrooms upstairs to dimmer switches.
These have been fantastic.
When getting ds ready for bed and feeding bedtime milk. I have it at the lowest it will go.
He seems to know now when I dim it, he starts to relax.
I am not one to advise on settling techniques as I have tried lots of different methods with both dcs.
DD was great went down awake 90% of the time, but at 2.7 I now lay with her till she falls to sleep. (Not sure what happened there then)
Ds is a combination of cuddle till asleep, Cuddle till nearly asleep. (he then arches back and gets annoyed, which indicates he has had enough and wants to lay down)

Lately I have put him straight down and left to cry. (under ten minutes only) and not every night.

I like you have found that the leave it to cry till settled does not work with Marcus.
He just gets louder and louder and sobs till he can't breathe, and can make himself sick.
Not worth it to me, when I know a cuddle can send him off.

However crying it out did work with dd on the few times I did it.
They are all so different.

I also found that ds settled much better when he stopped bf and had a bottle of ff.
I am not for one minute suggesting you do this btw, because I was gutted when I stopped.
(ds decided himself he had had enough.)

He still wakes some nights, and I do what was suggested on here before.Count to 100 not sure if it ws pf or poppy and if still crying ans won't settle he has another bottle of milk.
Sorry to waffle on, just wanted to help.

ann how do you feel about not feeding him when he wakes? He no longer needs the nourishment and will do it for habit and of course, comfort from his lovely mum! Ds1 did this, and eventually I had to stop night feeding him.
First night he SCREAMED for 1 hour, clawing at me, hysterically crying, sobbing, heaving, retching - I was sooo tempted to give in and feed him! Eventually he dozed off, still sobbing, but NO feed. DH was bloody useless not so helpful but I held out.
The second night he cried for 40 mins, but didn't scream. The third night he kind of whimpered for 10 mins but gave up very quickly. It's really hard but well worth it.

I would be tempted to do one thing at a time. Crack the feeding before you worry about settling him. If you manage to do both together then thats great, but tiny steps will be easier for you to manage.

I thoroughly recommend Dr Christopher Green's 'New Toddler Taming'. It's an entertaining read from an Australian GP and father. Very sensible, down to earth stuff. He even advocates drugging to get the child into the habit of sleeping properly!!!

and I should add, ds1 was in our bed, being cuddled in order to settle him. He ended up sleeping with us up until he was 2 and got his own 'big boy bed' . horses for courses and all that..

Just to add
When I went through a difficult patch of settling both dcs when dh was at work. i used to feed ds down stairs or in dds room, while she had her milk and story, but found that I was just disturbing or stimulating him.

So I now sit in the chair in his room and he has his milk, then straight into bed.
Think it is important to get that wind down time in. Iykwim. Then they get used to it, and know what is coming.

cc good idea to perhaps do one thing at a time.
A friend of mine said that any wake up for milk after bedtime she offered water.
She did it with both her dcs and said they soon stopped waking up for it when they knew thats all they were getting.

I keep meaning to try it, but so far have just been watering the milk down, so its getting weaker.

I am tempted to do what cavey has suggested. We're waiting til january though (wimps!!!) when dh has less on (ha ha) as he will take on a lot of settling. We plan to attempt to night wean - cos ds has gone from either not waking or waking once to anything between 1 (rare) and 5(also rare) wake ups - all of which are milky calls!!!

off out for dinner with my dh (when he gets back from a wedding rehearsal)!

another one here seconding or thirding or however many we're up to about final feed being in semi-darkness and in his room. when i changed it made such a difference to dS

Ann, as you probably remember i had a baby that never slept. One Saturday (DP away) i had a horrendous night so on the sunday i decided enough was enough. He still had a late bedtime at this point (I gradually brought it earlier and earlier and now he practically begs me to take him to bed at 6.30!). Anyhow, going back to the Sunday night, my plan was that once he was in the cot, he stayed in the cot. Previous nights i'd bf him whenever he woke up but this was the night that changed. So i started with the normal bedtime routine (we were already doing bf in his room in the dark by now), bf him to sleep and put him in his cot. Right on cue, it was probably about 30mins later he was standing, screaming. I went in. Spoke to him in a very calm voice. Knelt down next to the cot and with him standing in the cot, gave him a cuddle (hope this makes sense!) until he'd calmed down. i then lay him down and patted/shusshed him. If he stood up without screaming i just lay him down. But if he was standing and screaming, he got a cuddle. Give me a minute and i'll find my log from that night....