Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

[jumpjockey]

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

I'm much better thanks Trace. Thinking of you, hope P sleeps tonight.

Trace Sorry to hear things haven't improved with L. Maybe she doesn't understand that P isn't really upset, it might be worth explaining that it is just tiredness and what babies do. Perhaps she worries that P is hurt.

I'm sure people are up in the night but don't think of coming on because they think no one will be around. I'll certainly pop in if I'm up with DD. Her teeth are causing real trouble at the moment and we were up last night.

I hope you have a good weekend together and things feel better after a (fingers crossed) good nights sleep.

I would be around in the dead of night more if my bloody iPod hadn't stopped working. DS2 wakes every night again now, I think he is waking for the bottle of water he has now. I think I will go back to the HV and see what they suggest as the bottle of water was their idea.

trace - will be thinking of you tonight. good luck!

Trace I'm thinking of you, I wish I could be some help. Sending sleepy baby vibes...

WG Are your nights still going well ?

Real life keeps distracting me from mumsnet, cant keep up !n

Trace, I'm hoping you have good news to report. That's a good point, I wonder if L is getting upset over hearing P upset? Maybe you could have a chat like Jolly suggests and explain that P is crying because she's a baby etc etc and it's normal. My nephew gets upset with things like that with his little sisters. Is there any way of shifting the sleeping arrangments around?
I have been up for the odd night here with the teething, so will check to see if anyone is around when it happens again....

Hope you all got sleep.

trace am thinking of you and hoping you had a good night with P. Agree with others maybe ask L if she hears P at night and have a little chat about it?

Well I had a lovely night with my friends at a delicious tapas place. But DS up at 2am till about 5.30am. Not coughing really just crying and whingy not wanting to go back in his cot, and then DD woke up i think she heard DS and refused to go back to be till 'mummy had snuggled her'. He's bright as a button at the mo, while I'm feeling very ropey (too much cheerfulness and not enough sleep).

Right coffee, and then off to see the GP's. I hope Nan has cake in I need a sugar boost!!

trace - also hoping things are better with you, both with P and L.

daisy - sorry to see DS's better sleeping didn't last, but glad the coughing is better.

Hope everyone's having a good weekend.

We were enjoying the autumn sunshine in the park while DD tagged around after her older cousins around devotedly and DS bounced around like a mad thing. Everyone asleep here, was hoping for some trashy telly, but the only thing our set top box can pick up at the mo is ITV2. Although thinking about it, that probably fits the bill..

Morning,

Steven Gately from Boyzone has died suddenly. I have been in love with him since I was 11. I am devastated and if DH wasn't at work later I would still be curled up in bed. Poor DS1 has no idea why I can not stop crying but keeps cuddling me.

Hope everyone is ok.

Hello all,

That's sad kayz. Poor man, he was very young.

trace I hope you haven't been in because you've been having a nice weekend.

I need some advice people! DD has worked out how to sit up from being laid down and we keep finding her sat up in her cot sobbing. How long before she works out how to lie down again without banging her head on the cot? She wouldn't settle at all last night, she just kept sitting up over and over again! I don't feel I can leave her to cry because she looks stranded and she is teething which is making her unhappy anyway. Any ideas anyone?!

In other news, she can crawl. It isn't the most co-ordinated of movements, one of her legs appears to do all the work leaving the other one sticking out in a most odd position. We'd best do some belated babyproofing this afternoon.

How is your Nan Daisy? Hope she had some cake in for you. I find grandparents can usually be relied on for a cake or at least a chocolate biscuit.

LadyT I'm trying to find out rough guide to Bruge so I can give you the name of that Bakery/cafe. I could always post it to you if I ever find it!

Have good days all, it's pouring down here.

Hello! Am in the office and offically back three days a week so a chance to catch up and keep up with you all! Hope everyone is well, may even be able to do some personals later. All fine here apart from some snotty colds and recovering from two epic train journeys over the weekend. Would not recommend travelling from Essex to Malvern by train .

JB: if you find the answer let me know, DS2 is having the same problem. I just pick him up and try to settle him back to sleep.

Right, have caught up a little!

Thanks for all your positive thoughts, SIL finally had her baby (a girl ) at about 10pm, the stubborn little beggar finally turned into the right position in the afternoon so the CS was not required. A long and tiring labour though. We are most pleased to have a girl in the family, but I am disappointed at the range of nice baby clothes at the moment - does it all have to be pink? I think DH found the process more stressful than he will admit, he was worrying that the baby wouldn't make it. Luckily all was fine.

On a related note, no plans for number three here!

Re: the flat sale, our buyer has sorted her solicitor out and they have been sent all the paperwork, so hopefully things are moving. We may buy in Colchester, it's more likely that we'll sock away a chunk of cash and think about it later.

Trace: so sorry you are having trying times with P and L. I'm up a lot with DS2 in the night, but I am a lazy hound who doesn't get out of bed so am generally not online. I have to say consideration for DH's sleep doesn't really come into it when I am being woken up through the night. Re: L, it does sound like she's a bit sad for some reason. I know DS1 is younger but his TT goes awol when he's even a little cross. Can you have some time with her on your own for a light chat, maybe go out for a pizza after school or something? It must be tough being 5 and getting school and friendships all sorted.

Daisy: more bad nights for you as well . Plus the worries for your GPs. I hope you have some time to look after yourself as well.

Kayz: have a hig from me.

pmk: it took my longer than I expected to conceive DS1, all of about 5 months but the women in my family seem to fall pg at the drop of a hat so I was a bit suprised. Took less time with DS2, a month or two I think. That time I thought it would take longer!

LadyT; enjoy your trip . Hope things are settling with you and DP, DH and I have been having 'talks' as well, usually late at night when one or the other is trying to sleep! The upshot is that we both Must Try Harder. No surprise there!

Veggie: hope the plans are all progressing. I'm sure you'll love Amsterdam and you strike me as the type of person to enjoy changes and new stuff.

Kiwi: I tend to bung random bits of food in DS2's direction, couldn't tell you how much he eats exactly! But it does vary a lot.

Better go and get some lunch, hope you are all enjoying the start of the new week . Sorry for missing lots of you out, but it's nice to be back in the flow again

Hey all. Need to do some catching up here, but am I right in thinking you are looking for vegetarian places in Bruges, LadyT? If so this place was, from memory, quite nice. It is only open at lunchtime though. We did struggle (DH and I both vegetarian) in Bruges. But hey, there's always beer and chocolate . Cornerstone of the healthy diet.

JB We have a similar problem with DD, particularly at naptime (rather than evenings - if she disagrees with our foolish notion that she is tired and needs to nap she climbs up the side and stands there holding onto the cot bars. Generally we leave her a few minutes, go in and put her lying down again (which she hates and goes completely mental at but hey.. ) Eventually she gives in... Lucky she refuses to sit (yes, still...) or that would add something else to her nap-resistance repetoire. She can sit, she just won't.

hello all
sorry not to have popped on over the weekend. We've had ups and downs!
Ups:
1)Phoebe slept from 6.30pm till 5.30am on Friday AND Saturday . Not a peep! Obviously i woke up repeatedly in anticipation of her waking but hey ho.
2)Sunday went to our Godson's baptism which was lovely and fab to catch up with some old pals.
Downs:
1)Sunday night Phoebe woke up an hour after going to bed - I went up to check on her and her cot had become a swimming pool of vomit! got her cleaned up, clean bedding, clean sleeping bag, back to bed...5 mins later - same again! And repeat X4 between 9 and midnight. Then she slept till 5.30 with a couple of wakings when I fed her on the basis that she must be starving after such huge vomage. Right as rain today so don't know what caused it...but tonight she's been asleep 1.5 hours so far....fingers crossed!
2) Lucy wet herself a few times over the weekend. I spoke to her class teacher today but there are no problems or concerns at school. Today she came out of school looking sheepish. The teacher said Lucy didn't have any accidents today, but Lucy then told me she had - in the book corner and she hadn't told anyone so was still in her wet pants. I told the teacher so she could go and clean it up. Anyway then a minute later Lu told me she had also pooed in her pants today - and they were still on her . So took her home, removed soggy, poo-filled pants and gave her a bath. No idea what is going on. Going back to lovely lady doc on Wednesday if I can get an appointment. I feel like I'm doing something wrong as a parent.
3) P has always been a 'sicky' baby and tends to do a mouthful several times a day. Today one of her nursery teachers said it's probably because I BF her . She said when they are BF as well as on solids they're normally more sicky. She was very lovely and probably didn't mean anything by it, but now I feel like I'm making my baby sick by bfing her.
So 2 + 3 = traceface doubting her parenting skills .
Work is good - enjoying all the bits of it, but have felt a few times that I'm more of a hindrance at the moment because I need support with stuff and am always asking for advice. Probably just because my confidence is a bit low all round.
Anyway - hope all have had good weekends.
wg how is the sleep going?
daisy how is your nan?
effie nice that you're back at work so can pop on!
jb P went through that phase and I just kept going in and lying her down. She soon got the message.
spot - have you moved? can't remember your time scale. Hope it went/ goes well.
urbane how are you? Thought of you today as I took L for her flu jab - I imagine you get the jab with your asthma?
Veggie how's the packing? Is your niece here yet?
right must do yet another washer load of vomit-filled bedding and poo-filled pants...

Hello All,

jolly DS does the standing and crying thing. No idea I do go in and lie him down but like Kiwiw this usually leads to hysteria!

kayz so sad about stephen Gateley. So young and such a tragic waste.

Right DS still coughing, and still bad with his sleeping although i think we had a marginal improvement last night. He is back to see the Dr tomorrow so we'll see what she says.

Good news on with my Nan, the cancer just appears to be in her neck. Dr says in 90% of cases they have a positive outcome. so things are looking good. Obviously the chemo is going to be tough (she starts in a few weeks), and will last 3-4 months then Radiation treatment. We'll just have to watch the DC's visiting etc when they are all full of germs. But all in all the diagnosis could not have gone better.

Right off to watch Masterchef...I'm obsessed by it!!!

trace X Post. Please, please, please DO NOT doubt your parentig skills. I have no words of wisdom...but I am certain that BF P is not making her sick. Surely just a tummy bug. We were all struck down last weekend with one. 24 hours later, all right as right.

As for L, no idea. Maybe just a transitional phase in her life?? FWIW DD has had 4 'accidents' since starting pre-school. That is probably more tahn she has had in the 14 months since being potty trained. I have just put it down to the excitement of school and not wanting to leave the room. But i dread picking her up.

daisy that's fantastic about your nan . Hope you get somewhere with the GP tomorrow.

Quickly popping in just back from the wedding and niece pick up. It is so lovely to have her here already, DS1 is really loving her being hear, he has talked her ear off but I think she is really enjoying being with him, she is giving him so much attention. DH is away at the mo so won't see her til weds. He is then flying out to the Netherlands on Thursday evening to have a look at some houses. I think we are concentrating on Den Haag (that's the Hague, look at me I'm talking Dutch).

Trace I'm sure the nursery lady thought she was saying the right thing but it's complete crap. What you call sicky babies, are just that sicky babies. The baby itself is just like that. I've BF'd both my boys as you know, DS1 never needed a muslin, whereas with DS2 I've had to throw away several black tops as he has ruined them. I sounds to me like she managed to get a little bug and clearly quite effectively expelled it. Don't forget now they are reaching for things they can pick up bugs easier. Trace I wish I could give you a little cuddle, I think your doing a brilliant job. To me it makes sense what someone else said about L hearing P at night maybe she wishes she could make it better for P somehow, and for you. I don't think anything she is going through home wise is anything bad or unusual, if it is anything else it must be at school. Maybe it's her little friends or sobs schoolwork that's scaring her. The teacher would notice probs I'm sure. Although strange they didn't notice she'd wet and soiled herself.

Right better go gotta do the ocado shop!!!

Oh and I loved Iran but it's been over 10 years since I've been there invis and was only there about 5 days, about 6 of us drove through there on the way to India. My fav places where Esfahan and Bam, I was sad when I saw the earthquake there a few years ago. That is amazing that you lived there, why was that? How long where you there. The people are amazing so lovely and so up for a chat. We met some great women and loved chatting to them.

It's Lucy's turn to vomit tonight. She woke up at 1am with a bed full - she's always made it to the loo previously so think she got a shock . Cue full change of nightie, bedding, pillow, scrubbing mattress...she's in bed with dh now. P woke up (probably due to noise!) and wouldn't settle so I've boobed her back off. I just felt starving so I'm having a cozy snack - it feels like the old pregga days! In fact the night I went into labour I was sitting here eating hot buttered toast

hello loves, sorry have been off dealing with life, you know how it is.

thanks for asking, trace - madam is sleeping pretty well at night now. she doesn't like going to sleep and still cries when put in her cot awake, but tends to go off after 10 mins and then doesn't need us until 6am. which is a vast improvement. she does occasionally scream out, and once in a blue moon cries for 20 mins or so in teh middle of the night, but very rarely. daytime naps are a different story - she just doesn't want to sleep, even when she is rubbing her eyes like there is no tomorrow.

trace - for what it's worth, i think you are doing a wonderful job, but i know how hard it is not to doubt yourself. madam is also bf and is also a sicky baby (but no patch on your recent night). i cannot imagine it has something to do with being bf, but i am no expert. i think you are doing so well, please try to remember that. sounds like she had a bug and, as veggie says, got rid of it pretty effectively.

i have got my knickers in a complete twist about work - i am working mondays, and basically hate it. only 5 more to go until the end of term, but they make me so so miserable, that i don't think it is worth it. i also foolishly accepted doing a workshop tomorrow miles away from home. madam and i will leave home in 4 hours time (spot the non-sleeper, me that is), where i will drive for 50 miles to drop her off with a friend, then drive another 20 miles to lead this workshop (which i haven't prepared yet and cannot think of anything to do), then reverse course to pick madam up, and return home. oh, all in rush hour traffic. i am feeling sick and sleepless with nerves but simply can't think straight. i don't know why i do this to myself.

i spend my time feeling sick and miserable at not prepraring, but being too nervous to prepare anything. it's a habit i've had all my life and i don't know how to get out of it. i just have this constant "i can't" going on in my head. i don't know who i am trying to prove something to by accepting this work. we don't absolutely need the money at the mo - dh has had a good year, but i am not used to taking money off him, so feel bad about that. but the misery i go through leaving madam and worrying about work can't be worth it.

sorry, it's a me post.

oh, and fil's operation hasn't gone well - he may well have to be operated on again - dh was sobbing this evening with worry. and all mil can say about things is how dreadful it is for her to be alone in the house (despite offers from all teh family for her to stay with them which is also nearer the hospital). i am furious with mil and want her to start being a better mother to her son. the other day, despite the repressed way their family operate, he managed to tell her how nervous he was about his father's operation. her response? "well, how do you think i feel?" i'm sorry, but that just isn't good enough. i am so so so furious with her.

sorry , told you it was a me post.

wg your poor dh. He seems such a wonderful man, who obviously is aware of his feelings and is brave enough and secure enough to share that with you (I remember those early days when you were so worried about him). And how horrid of your MIL to disregard his feelings and squash him like that. It sounds like she is so absorbed in herself that she can't see things from another's view point - I think that's a skill that kids learn about age 5! You and your dh seem to have a very strong relationship and you are a blessing to each other. As for work - not sure what to suggest. If you hate it and you don't really need to work, I'd try to say no. Easy to say though. I think a lot of our identity and value is tied up in our job, and so it's hard to let go. It makes us feel better to think we're doing our 'job', contributing to life, earning our pennies, impressing our bosses, or whatever. But staying with our children is of enormous value, your contributing to her life and your family life, and your value as a person doesn't change according to what you do. I know you know that but I think you can never be reminded too many times of how amazing you are . You are doing a fantastic job with madam and should feel free to leave the work for another season...As for money - it's hard to be the one who's earning less, but you're in this for life and there may well some a time when the finances are reversed and you know you wouldn't want your dh to feel bad. Relax. He loves you and Madam and wants to provide for you.

Just re-read that. I don't mean it's easy to say 'no' to work - I mean it's easy for me to say "say no to work", and much harder to do!

Morning,

Trace You are not a bad parent! DS1 was a really sicky baby and he was FF so I think that just some babies are more sicky then others.

WG So pleased to hear that Madam is still sleeping well for you. DS2 doesn't sleep during the day really. He does the same and rubs his eyes. Sorry to hear about your FIL. Your poor DH, I can understand that your MIL feels scared too but surely they should be reassuring each other. Your MIL really shouldn't be treating it as a competition to who feels worse.
As for work I am sort of with Trace. If you can afford for you not to work or to somehow do less hours then I would do it.

I am a bit of Veggie and Invis. I would love to go to Iran. I love ancient history. I did an 3000 word essay on the persians when I was at college. I don't know how much of ancient Persia is left in Iran but I think it would be so interesting.

Hope everyone is ok.

Oh Trace, you are doing an excellent job. I hope you managed to get back to sleep. PMSL @ "I've boobed her back off" - sorry but that was priceless! MN comment of the thread award! Anyway, keep us posted. I'm feeling bad as I was up at 230am with teething sad baby - just for 20 mins or so, but didn't come on and say hi - I was occupied administering calpol, and having a completely irrational moment at dh. In hindsight, probably would have been more constructive to come on here.
WG sounds like you have the sleeping thins sorted. I hope your workshop is quick, painless and successful today.
Daisy great news about your Nan

Hope you got some sleep, Trace and WG . I'm finding DS2 is waking more on the night after I've been at work, think he's making up for no BF all day. DS1 did the same.

WG: if you don't want to work and don't need to then I see no reason why you shouldn't chuck it. If you want to do something besides looking after Madam why not go for a course or something instead? Would hopefully get you the social side (which it doesn't sound is happening with your current job) without the stress. Sleep sounds brilliant, do you mind reminding me what method you used?

Trace: you are not a bad mother, the bf thing sounds utter nonsense, DS2 BFs all the time at the moment and is not sicky at all (unless he's eaten too much). As for L I'm sure it's nothing you've done wrong (of left undone IYSWIM) so just a question of feeling your way along. Hope the doc is helpful.

We're still sore-throaty and coldy here but it's a lovely day so should be able to get outside in the fresh air .