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Original poster

April 2007 - all for one and one for all

518 replies

Northernlurker · 15/07/2009 13:12

New thread - sorry about the title, just start another one if you can't bear it - i won't mind

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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LadyStealthPolarBear · 13/09/2009 10:14

no, nothing yet apart from swollen ankles which I did get last time about 24 hours before T was born, but I don't think they are usually classed as a sign of imminent labour

CaptainDippy · 13/09/2009 15:07

Happy Due Date for y'day SPB Looking forward to my text

oooggs · 13/09/2009 20:06

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! dooby - today was the nicest day since the schools broke up (and went back )

sol - you feeling any better?

elkie - I hate it when things clash!

Feeling much better today, 24 hour thingy gone, went to Looe beach and had a ball then dh went to work

Doobydoo · 13/09/2009 21:18

Glad you feel better and had a nice day OOOGGS.
wASN'T VERY NICE HERE.wELL IT WAS..AUTUMNAL.i LOVE This time of year and the sky had that 'snow'look]smile]
Am getting the boys hats with ear flaps as is very windy in this part of the world.
Ds1 has his 2nd 11+paper this friday.It is non verbal reasoning which,strangely,he is very good at.I say strange because he never stops talkingexcept 1st thing in the morning when he grunts

Sexonlegs · 13/09/2009 21:48

Evening ladies

Feeling lots better here too thanks Just very hoarse!

Any baby yet????

Dooby, how are you feeling? Any more snow predictions??

Elkie, glad you had a good day.

Oooggs, glad you are feeling better too.

Had lovely news yesterday. Close friends who have a ds 7 months older than B, are expecting a baby in February! C had 2 miscarriages and had made a choice not to go for more ttc. But, hey presto! We are thrilled

Anyway, hope everyone has had a good weekend. Off to bed in a mo as have had a few broken nights of late. xx

Sexonlegs · 14/09/2009 07:59

Morning all.

Feel a bit

Last night, dh phoned his Dad who he had been trying to speak to for a few days. Anyway, the conversation was strained and dh went in another room to talk. Basically, fil was saying he has no relationship with B, doesn't feel she and him are close, finds her dis-respectful and thinks the situation is irretrievable.

I don't know what to think. I know B is hard work at times, but she is 6! When she stayed with them for a few days during the summer, the report back from fil was that they had a great time and that she was good company.

I have had a few run ins with fil in the past; it seems that if you do not fit his expectation, then it's game over.

He doesn't see her very often which I imagine is part of the problem, but that is the case for many children and their grandparents.

He offered no suggestions regarding what he wants to happen.

Dh is very pissed off/stressed/upset.

Thoughts?

Doobydoo · 14/09/2009 08:48

Oh SOL What a ridiculous thing for a grown up to say about a 6 year old!
Does she not pander to him?and does she ask lots of questions? and can she see through things[situations etc]She aleways sounds bright to me and may not suffer 'fools' gladly[not saying your fil is a fool obviously]
B sounds quite abit like my ds1 who can be seen as 'difficult'and can be but he is himself.I always say when he is going to see grandparents to remember his manners and that grandma and grandad may do things differntly from us but if he can manage to deal with it for the time he is with them then it would be appreciated!
I do not really have advice as such.I will think about it but maybe one of our lot will have some words of wisdom.
FIL,sounds extremely childish imo.

LadyStealthPolarBear · 14/09/2009 09:09

No advice SOL, but it does seem that your FIL is being ridiculous about a 6yo! "thinks the situation is irretrievable. " sounds like blackmail!

Sexonlegs · 14/09/2009 10:11

Thank you Dooby and SPB.

B is bright; she does ask questions and she doesn't suffer fools gladly - a bit like me - the not suffering fools gladly bit anyway!!

She is polite - thank you's and pleases - which is more than I get from some of her friends.

I don't get it.

I spoke to my parents about it, and they said they are never sure how B feels about them, but she is always polite. It just takes time with B; she needs to do the running, and my Mum and Dad let her (within reason of course).

Anyway, I now feel bad as B said she had a sore throat and was crying and I have packed her off to school. Why is being a parent so hard!!!!!

SPB, any signs??

LadyStealthPolarBear · 14/09/2009 11:22

aargh this morning T said he didn't want a nappy on, so I asked him what he would do if he needed a wee and he consistently answered potty. So left him nappyless - so far it's poo 2, wee 1, potty zero and a full bottle of dettol almost

Sexonlegs · 14/09/2009 12:08

Oh dear SPB!

ScarletBandit · 14/09/2009 14:48

SPB, he will get there when he is ready! Feel for you having to clean up after him when you must be struggling to move much at all just now though, hope you are ok x

SOL, I just don't know what to say re B. She seemed lovely when I met her and I am astounded that her own grandparent would react in this way. Like you say, she is only 6, is he expecting too much of her too young maybe? As well as that I think that some people assume because they are related, that the child will automatically respond to them, but it just doesn't work like that. Maybe he needs to make a bit more of an effort to build a relationship with her. These things are earned, not just a given right iykwim.

LadyStealthPolarBear · 14/09/2009 15:31

Hi SB
Just wish he'd keep his nappy on for the next couple of weeks, unfortunately the opportunity to play with his willy is just too tempting

Doobydoo · 14/09/2009 16:11

Excellent timing T

SOL...Some children don't rush in and go to everyone.Some children take their time.DS1 and ds2 are like this and it has been commented on.I always say that 'fools rush in'
Agree with Scarletbandit...things take time but i have to say[what you already know ]that your fil sounds petulant and childish[probably stuck at approx age 4!]Your parents sound fab
Parenting is damn hard...am sure B is fine or school would have 'phoned.
How is your dh feeling now?
I expect you will sort in out between about what to do...Don't be hard on YOURSELF about it!

Doobydoo · 14/09/2009 16:13

Sort it out between yousorry computer too slow for my super speedy typing
Ds1 has decided to go to aerobics after school on Monday.....FAME I'm gonna live forever

geordieminx · 14/09/2009 16:19

Hey ladies - I'm here - almost!

Wedding is 2 weeks on Saturday - am v. excited and almost organised... apart from the 1/2 stone that I need to loose before then

SOL - Cant believe FIL would say something as mean as that - god knows what he hoped to achieve?

SPB - Very excited for baby news - hopefully it wont be too long for you now.

We have started proper toilet training here, he's been doing wee's on potty for a while but I have always put him in a nappy to go out, so we are embarking on pants during the day too. All good so far, although he appears to have a bladder like his mother..he hasnt been since 1.30 .

Sorry I havent had time to catch up properly.

Doobydoo · 14/09/2009 18:14

Hi GM yaaay for wedding.We still haven't 'done' ourstho we have the rings.Fab re potty training.
Ds1 sad as he was only boy at aerobics.We said last night irt would be mainly girls...they took the piss when the teacher left the room so he did cd player.He isn't going to school tomorrow and I don't know if that is because of today and he is worried he will be teased by the boys that all went for football trials or because dp won't be here so school ligistics a tad complicated.It is mock 11+ non verb as well.I am going to write to school as they place such emphasis on cring ethos well we have seen no evidence tbh i AM [SAD] FOR HIM

Doobydoo · 14/09/2009 18:41

Spelling dreadful...sorry.
Also ds1 is very good at sport etc but can't understand the hysteria the boys have re trying out for 11 places on the team and the match attack cards etc.
Just feel it is all wrong and wish we could have kept him in his 1st school which was fab.It has felt since then that[apart from when we home edded]that he/we are always having to pander to the lowest common denominator.and I don't care if I sound snobby.Ds1 has made a HUGE effort since he has been at this school and I feel

LadyStealthPolarBear · 14/09/2009 19:37

Can't believe 2 weeks on Saturday is October...where has this year gone?
for your DS1 dooby

Doobydoo · 14/09/2009 19:56

I know SPB...It has flown by.He is ok now I think but to echo SOL this parenting lark is hard!Can't protect them from everything.Heaven knows what we will be like when they are teenagers[eek]
Hope you are ok.The waiting must be hard for you....let alone us

Bramshott · 14/09/2009 21:32

Oh dear Dooby - especially if he's been trying really hard. Children can be so cruel sometimes.

Doobydoo · 14/09/2009 21:39

I know.He has some friends but has always been quirky and can't understand the way some people are.TBH we want 11+ over and if he wants to go back to home ed that is fine and if he gets a place at Grammar that is fine too.as we think he will prob like it there,and he seems to want to give it a go as he liked it when he went for the day.His teacher last year felt he would be suited to it.Last paper on Fri

Bramshott · 14/09/2009 21:47

Roll on Friday then Dooby!

CaptainDippy · 15/09/2009 08:02

Yes indeed roll on Fri Dooby

Not long now GM

Oh, SOL, what a completely irrational and unreasonable thing for your FIL to say about a 6 year old. Ridiculous. What did your DH say back to his dad or was he too astounded to respond?? Don't take it personally, he sounds like a grumpy old git with no patience or understanding to me. How was his relationship with his children while they were growing up? All the answers could be hidden there ...

Doobydoo · 15/09/2009 08:56

to roll on.Have a feeling sometimes that ds1 will be like John Major and run away from the circus to become an accountant
SPB,How you doing?????
Dippy hope all is well with you.
SOL,Hope B feeling better and you and dh have been able to talk.Interesting POV from Dippy re how fil was with his children.
Have good day all.