Nov 2008 - because there was no thread space to think of a clever title!

[Yorky]

Had to be done soon, hope it works!

barbs glad you are getting through the PND - how dreadful.

Fell off the thread but back again . Still lweather iffy down here but we have managed 2 pms on the beach with boots I must say but dd1 has been happy. Minirosa likes the waves and snuggles up in her pack ( which is lovely !!).
Yaayhay to the bathroomdaisy what colour did you go for ?
tegan how did the wedding go?
vbab A friend of mine also tried a stylist and said it was great also as there was no pressure to buy and her mum she diddn't believe her mum or me when we said things looked great. I am in total refusal to buy anything until I loose weight and I have even had blood tests to check thyroid as I can't shift anything - cue hormonal , emotional I hate my body hours moments
barbs hope you are getting through the PND
ladybuzz if buy another pushchair dh will divorce me but I could do with a double for those alone moments.......

Barbs, hope you have some success with you Gp and that you feel better soon.
I have tried 2 diffferent AD's recently. Neither made me feel any better. Mind you, my Gp and the 2 others I saw didn't think I had depression. I have done the edinburgh 6 times for the GP, but never scored more than 7. Prob becasue I feel good about myself. and get out and laugh alot. and then sometimes it all gets too much and I have a bit of a cry or lose my cool with ds1. My Gp says this is normal stress and that I display no signs of depression. Dh, my mum and my best friend don't think I have PND either.
Anyway, I hope your appointment goes well and that they are very supportive.

Just popping on to send hugs to barbs hope you get the support from the gp to help you through it. Glad your DH is helping you xx

rosa, we went for a chocolatey brown textured floor tile and a cream travertine marble effect (couldn't afford the real stuff) wall tile. I'm a bit worried about it and think it'll either look fab or bloody awful.....especially as we are always bemoaning the fact that the decor here is shades of beige . the untiled wall is going to be a really bright jade colour though to inject a bit of ooomph. I am now wondering what to do about window dressing? Do you have curtains in bathrooms, or just blinds? Also on the lookout for a realy nice old dresser to go in the corner where the airing cupboard is coming out.

We are wondering whether to go for a new mixer shower, or to reuse the electric shower we bought a year ago when ours went kaput.

barbs....are you still looking for furniture? We have an IKEA sofa bed, like this that we need to get rid of as there isn't enough room for it now we have lots of children. It's got a cover like that one and a blue stripey cover as well and makes quite a comfortable bed.

Barbs hope the doctor can help you and I definitely think you are doing the right thing in seeking their advice

Vbab hope you are feeling a bit better about yourself tonight. Btw, what on earth were you trying size 14's on for?? I would say that size 12's would be massive on you - never mind 14's!!

Daisy your bathroom sounds lovely - I am sure it will look good.

Hi to everyone else.

All good here - made homemade pizza tonight (completely from scratch - base and all!!). The Hamster loved it!! He sucked all the topping off his slice and then started on the base Ds1, true to form, declared 'I don't like pizza'

thanks ladies for your understanding comments regarding my shopping trip. Not upset (crying) now just pissed off. My girly Alyssa was the one that cheered me up. She kept crawling to me and saying "mum mum" in a really strong deep tone. Then one time when I picked her up she gave me a big open mouth, tongue too , snog. Had a nice day except the clothes bit and was a little weird having 1 child. Mum, dad and sis took DS to the sea side and he had lots of fun. He came home with his face like a tiger and it reminded me of the guy on phoenix nights .

lacks - poor bumble. sure he was ed more than being hurt. DS when he was about this age fell off our bed which is a divan so quite high. It happened because I had just put him on our bed, DH shouted me from the box room and I stepped to the door only a metre away if that and as I turned I heard the thump then cries. Happened in a matter of seconds. We rushed DS off to a drop in clinic just to be sure being 1st timers. He was of course fine and ended up being a waste of a couple of hours during which we were interrogated like we may be bad or abusive parents.

For the 1st time in months Alyssa is being a monkey and wont go to bed. To be honest I think it is teething as she becomes hysterical when put down. This is completely out of character and I can tell the diff in screams IYSWIM. She is currently hitting DH PS3 controller while he is playing a live football game . Hee hee.

bumble has had a bottle of formula tonight. He fed for over half an hour, went to bed for half an hour and then was up looking for more.....so it's a last ditch attempt.

I am soooooo exhausted with his constant feeding; I don't know how much more I can take, especially as he was up four times again last night.

I had hoped to feed him until a year, but I never imagined he would still be up half the night as the older two had been sleeping through from before three months.

ceebee - size 14's normally for boobs to be honest. Can wear a 12 (depends on the shop) but depending on what the item is depends on how flattering it is IYSWIM. But thanks for the compliment.

barbs sorry your going through PND I hope your GP and HV support you, glad your DH is supporting you (my DH was fantastic).
daisy I think your bathroom will be fab, my DH is always commention about the different shades of beige in our house too!
ceebee pizza sounds lovely, we had boring kievs!
We have had a good day here, I took dd's on a huge walk dd1 was on her scooter and I think I tired her out.

Sorry to keep pestering but I really need help with this one ... how do I tell some good mates who live Manchester way (so an hour away) that my kids are being christened but they arent invited?

Daisy, have you got any double buggies left ? I need a really cheap one, not bothered if it is a bit tatty. Any ideas ?

Obs, I've got a Graco Duosport, used for a week so it's in pretty much as new condition......£60 posted? There's no raincover for it though as they never sent me one. I asked, and they sent me another buggy instead!! It's like this and actually quite a nice pram, comfy and roomy and it does fit through doors if you wiggle it a bit! One handed pushing do-able and it folds with one hnad and is freestanding when folded as well....and the shopping basket on it is ginormous!!

Can you believe it, bumble has been up again and after rolling round the floor for a bit has had another breastfeed . what is wrong with that child? I'm beginning to think his "full-up" reflex has gone wonky donkey. If he wakes looking for mare at midnight, I'm leaving home!!

Vbab just tell them you are keeping the christening small so close family only but say it would be good to see them soon. I did not have friends to Becca's as once you invited one it opened a whole can of worms. Its a Christening and many beleive its a family event anyway so they prob won't be bothered.

I think I have just set a new world record for doing the biggest pile of ironing ever

Ellielou don't you just lov it when you tire the lo's out with fresh air!

Daisy bathroom plans sound great.

Barbs, you should be very proud of both you and DH for recognising and admitting that there may be something not quite right and getting help. We are all here. X

Ceebee Pizza sounds fab, your DS1 sounds like my DD1, we once spent time making own toppings etc, cooked to declare she did not like the toppings and did not want to eat it

I had crumpets for tea and a bag of crisps

sorry vbab, I was going to repsond earlier, but got caught up with the DC...

...I don't think you have to tell them at all. It depends though on how often you see them and how much you tell them already about what's going on in your life. If you see them rarely, then would they necessarily expect an invitation? otoh, if you see them once a week and talk all the time, then they might feel a bit miffed.

Also, is it just family and very close friends? or the world and his wife coming....and are other friends from the same social circle going? Lots of factors there, but I don't necessarily think you need to tell them "you're not invited"

hope that helps!

My DS was convinced he didn't like pizza, but in reception his school do a cookery thing with Pizza Express, where they spent the afternoon in their kitchen, trying different toppings and learning all about the history of pizza and where it comes from. They then got to make their own pizza with their own choice of toppings and got a certificate and a chef's hat. He made red onion and pepperoni and always goes for that now if we are out anywhere.

thanks 4 the advice ladies re christening. It is about 33 people including us. Church then sit down 2 course sunday dinner at local pub. It is majority family but some friends who we see more as they live near us. I just feel i should be up front with the friends as the photos will end up on FB with posts probably too. But just dont know how to say it. Could do like you say lacks and not say anything but i would hate for them to be offended by not even knowing.

In typical style I am thinking too much about things.

vbab, you could always say that it's happening but you are limited on numbers, so would they like to come for lunch the following week as you feel bad about not being able to invite everyone? that way they can't possibly feel bad.

HI all
Barbs I'm glad you are seeking some help, as someone who has 'coped'long term with depression and anxiety I can heartily recommend getting help, as I feel so much better already.x

Vbab if it helps, a while ago we went for drinks with some friends who were over from yorkshire, as they were being Godparent's to another friend's daughter the next day. We didn't mind a bit that we were not invited- you can't invite everybody - would jsut explain that you are limited on numbers and I'm sure they will wish you all a lovely day. I would tell them, though,as they may want to send a card?

Daisy bathroom sound fab. I would personally keep the electric shower, but mainly becuase our boiler is antique and electric shower has been our only source of hot water on occaision.

mimi has started lifting herself forward onto her knees- she is obviously set against the notion of rolling and is trying to do things the hard way!

gosh thanks for lovely messages xx bit nervous about seeing dr though. hopefully dh will be able to explain a bit. kno there is nothing to feel bad about but worried. don't want to go on about it but seems to have allowed other thoughts to surface and realised that i feel dreadfully guilty about giving birth. felt totally out of control, dh said i kept apologising - having w was something that was done to me. the dr tried to turn him as he was stuck and facing the wrong way and w came out with like friction burns all round his neck. we were both rather battered by the end of it and 3 days later i had to have a blood transfuson. now i hve dreadful fear of dying and leaving w. and the guilt. well maybe there is some help to be had!
obs sorry that ads are not working. I'm sure you've thought of all this and i don't kno much about it but is there another dr you could see (more sympathetic) or a specialist? i think the thing is you know how you feel and what's normal for you.
daisy thanks for thinking of us with the sofa - we are all good now for furniture but really appreciate the thought! sorry that it's so hard with bumble at the mo. does kellymum have any advice or the ladies in breastfeeding?
re:meetup if it's raining tues and we think that the soft play might be too busy you are all very welcome to come to mine! its no very big but i will have cake and stuff

aw barbs, yours sounds like a lovely idea if you feel up to having us descend on you. My older two are off to their grandparents so it'll just be me and the bumble.

I think I will start a thread barbs

Daisy I am sorry you are struggling with the constant feeding, I know you said you were getting fed up at the last meet up. mimi has been waking quite a bit these last few days- I don't know if it's her cold or if she is just not eating/feeding enough during the day, so you have my sympathies.x

anyway, off to bed I'm shattered.xx

oh lord, sorry for that I had posted a huge post and as I pressed send the first bit was highlighted and it disappeared into the internet ether.....I wasn't ignoring your concerns

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} though. Your feelings are pretty common, especially the death stuff , and it sounds like there may be a lot of unresolved birth trauma going on. This is a pretty good website for birth trauma information. You can also request your notes from the hospital and go through them with the patient liaison service. I realise that's difficult since you are now up here and your records are down there, but there will be someone you can talk to I'm sure. Lulumama is pretty good on birth trauma if you want to seek her out. I also found a lot of comfort knowing that I wasn't alone with my feelings.

and from my personal perspective, I honestly think that it was me insisting that I talk through my notes, hour by hour, with the consultant the day after DS1 was born that helped me get over his birth, PND aside. My sister who was there is still pretty traumatised by it all, and she was only an observer. Also, DH marching me to the docs when I was pregnant with DD was the best thing that could have happened, as he was able to explain to the doc exactly what had been going on as I wept gently in the corner, rather than me choking it all up and saying I was "fine" like I normally do

Looking forward to meeting you on Tuesday and having a good chinwag, no matter where we end up

Morning all - bright and sunny here which always helps, even after a night of broken sleep!
Daisy Hope you had a quieter night with Bumble. E has been the same over the past couple of days and I lost track of the amount of times she woke last night. But I know she didn't get enough feeds yesterday. I kept offering feeds to her but she wasn't interested Far too much going on to sit still and feed, even though I've tried giving her toys etc as recommended by Kellymom. Much better to wake mummy during the night when there's nothing else to do. Like you I really didn't imagine she'd still be waking as often and it is very hard. I really hope it's just a short-term phase!
Pinky E doesn't do rolling either and is getting up onto her knees whilst supporting herself with her hands. Her legs don't seem to be quite strong enough to support her on all fours though and she ends up flat on her front, much to her dismay!
Barbs Hope you get the help you need. As you say, there's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed, PND is a recognised condition and there is help available. You had a traumatic birth and unfortunately there are bound to be some after-effects. It's good that your DH is being so supportive though. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
Vbab We're going to have the same problem with E's naming ceremony. We'd love to invite everybody but we're going to be limited on numbers so that's what we're going to tell people. Most people will understand - I certainly would if the situation were reversed and I've found it more hurtful to find out later when friends had their DCs christened and not told us as I would have liked to have sent a card at least.
On that subject we're off to visit a potential venue later this morning. We've narrowed it down to two and we'll be visiting the other one next week before making a decision.