June09: the one where we learn to type with one finger

[Tee2072]

Hi all and welcome to our first post-natal thread! Nappy's, colic and burping OH MY!

Come join the conversation as our baby's grow and grow.

It's a real emotional rollercoaster in my house at the moment.

Good morning yesterday you noted... yes? Things got bad later and feel worse today.

Basically I made a caramel cake, these are my trickiest as you need to make caramel - tricky - and brown sugar icing - time consuming. So, of course the cake did not rise. ARGH. Need to do another. Then it poured down, all over my washing. So I made a second cake when dh got home (not caramel, couldn't face it) and collapsed on sofa exhausted all evening.

Today took dd to school with dh as Alex had jags straight after. To make a long story short I was irrationally upset when I saw Molly try to take a wee girl's hand to go in and the girl wouldn't take it. Not really upset at this point, but a firm tug at the heart strings. Got back to car and dh all 'oh that happened yesterday too,' me, 'oh, right well maybe next time don't mention it as it makes me sad.' Dh hear clearly did not note my tone because then started saying 'oh it doesn't matter, that wee girl is probably just scared being at school, no big deal, etc, etc.' Now I know it is no big deal, but I felt sad (actually getting teary now, not over it but just the way I am feeling this morn) and I felt he was kind of dismissing it. Then of course I burst into tears. Cue hug. Into see health visitor, more tears, got 7 on the PND test (high end of normal), and she's going to phone to see how I am next week.

PHEW. I don't know. Things are going fine but I do feel quite run-down, and a little down, sometimes.

Anyway. Have successfully made some wholewheat maple syrup muffins and am off to make some orange glazed ones before picking dd up (hopefully without the tears).

Daisy - I am very impressed at your marathon walking session there, very bad of your dh to leave you! I know what you mean about setting a bad example, I really want dh and I to keep arguments to ourselves, so far we're doing well, luckily don't argue much so that helps! I went out with a guy who could manufacture arguments out of nothing, I found it very tough. I often wondered if I was partly to blame, although didn't really think so when I thought about it rationally, plus he later admitted how bad he was! I hope things are better now.

Naat - Well done on dissertation! That it fab, and on getting through your first jags, poor wee angels it is hard isn't it? Alex just had his second so one more to go!

Oh and he has dropped just below 50th C re weight gain, 5.7Kg or 12 11 but I don't think it is a problem at all.

Bigcar and ermin - I think they are simply good home-made cakes, I mean not amazing or anything. But that is what she wants, the manufactured ones just are not as good. But I shall bring samples if we ever meet!

Right I really must go, llynnn - Your girl is growing amazingly! Ineed - Glad to see swaddling has made some difference, I really hope you start getting some more sleep!

Hello to everyone else, and thanks to june very much for your email!

MrsMcJnr - The doomoo looks great to me!

And although we have had sex here, we haven't a while now, perhaps due to my run-down-ness.

Oh and daisy - thank goodness your dd is okay, what a relief for you! Children are just hazards to themselves and others at times, your heart seems to live in your throat.

Hi Juners!

Daisy, that was funny! I'm also showing it to DH tonight Oh my! Poor DD!! I can only imagine how your heart must have sunk at that moment So glad she's OK. ((hug)) Mila feeds quite regualarly during the day, every 1.30hs-2hs. Sleep from 1 to 6 sounds great!!! More of that for you please! Sorry to hear about the incident with DP the other day With my temper I'd have done the same thing

Tee, hi! How was the visit to the office the other day?

Ineed, glad to hear sleep is improving Last night Mila slept from 11.50 till 3.15, then from 4 till 7.55 so not too bad. Let's hope it goes on like this

Silk, happy anniversary!! (for yesterday ) Glad you had a lovely night out with DH. I'm such a lousy drinker that I'd have been seeing pink elephants with what you drank

Llynn, wow, those are long legs! I agree with whomever said we'll be jealous in a few years

Yesterday Mila started crying a lot in the afternoon, she was quite upset but after giving her a bit of Calpol she settled and slept quite a lot. Today she's back to her normal self

My dad arrives today!! I'm so excited!!

right, Mila's calling! Back later

(((waves to all)))

This day just gets worse.

Spoke to council lady about hygiene stuff, she was nice but I don't think my kitchen is a viable option with only one sink and no dishwasher.

So depressed.

LittleS, oh! x post! and I didn't even see it before So sorry you're having such a hard day, honey. It's just typical, when one thing goes wrong suddenly you get loads of other things at the same time on top of that I completely understand how you felt when you saw DD at school... those tiny things are heartbreaking, aren't they? I remember crying my eyes out on Skype when my parents told me once that my grandmother (mum's mum) had hintedd that she didn't want my brother to sleep over at her place (apparently because she has her savings there and didn't trust him . I just couldn't face the fact that my poor little brother had to feel so rejected by his own grandmother But well, you're right there for DD to offer her all your support, and that's what matters Sorry to hear about the cakes, AND the council thing, is there any way to solve that? I send you a big big big (((hug))) If you have a minute, grab a nice cup of tea (and a piece of chocolate as well if you want )

littles - could you hire the absolutely necessary pieces of equipment for a trial period? Sorry to hear you are low. Hope you find some space to do some 'feel good' things. A back and head massage or something yummy? I know it won't fix anything, but I think month 3 is the hardest. Month 1 you live off adrenalin and excitment. Month 2 you dig in, knowing it's tough but things should start to get better soon. Month 3, exhausted and cranky.

littleS sorry to hear you're feeling so low. please take care of yrself

naat I was pretty drunk am amazed I managed to type at all last night and I felt rough this morning.

Erm I'm proudly wearing my frigid mner badge too. we've done it once - my boobs leaked and since this bloody coil's been fitted I've been bleeding and don't fancy it.

Thanks guys.

Not sure what to do. I guess I could hire a dishwaher (good idea daisy) for a bit but my kitchen is small I'm not sure if we could get one in tbh. May be an option, just wish cash wasn't so tight, that was part of the reason I wanted to do the baking!

Naat - Exactly, it is horrible to see your own being rejected, even in the smallest way, particularly when you are already fragile.

Just trying to get myself motivated for my business seminar, hopefully it will be inspiring. My mum came and took Molly out this afternoon so at least I was able to attempt a nap. I always just want to sleep when I feel low.

LittleS, what about freecycle? Do you have one locally that you could join? There are loads of things posted and it would be a good way of getting one and not have to spend that kind of money right now. Glad you had a little nap ((hug))

hi all

LittleS - sorry to hear you are feeling low. why is it that when one thing seems to not go to plan other things follow all at the same time? hope things pick up really soon x

Silk - happy anniversary, glad you had a good time night out with dh and enjoyed a drink or two!

erm - can i join the mn frigid club too! just a couple of attempts here and sorry if tmi but it was really quite sore! is that normal??

daisy - your mth1, mth2, mth3 cranky reasoning seems true to me too! i keep feeling really impatient (almost like pmt) at the slightest thing and feel like i should be ok now as Isobel is almost 3mths old, but i guess we are still tired and our hormones are still settling down. will we ever be 'normal' again!!

Naat - hope your dad got to you ok and you can enjoy spending time together and he gets to know Mila

Daisy - oh dear, hope your dh apologised and felt guilty enough about you walking home. well done for making such a stand though, lets hope he doesnt do it again!! great link, sooo funny! awful accident with your dd, so pleased she is ok can't imagine how awful you must've felt

Ineed -hope your swaddling blankets come soon and they do the trick

mrsmc - i dont know how you put up with the constant heat, i love summer but i am pleased the nights have started to get cooler now and they havent been anything like they are there!

hi to everyone else, hope you are all well!

hello ladies,
i haven't posted for ages - went to London to show off Ishbel then left my bloody ethernet cable there so no means of getting on line.
Anyway, all is good, still bfing Ishbel 6 - 7 times a day, but just once at night. She barely ever sleeps in the day though
Relations with babyfather still good, although he's asked us to meet his girlfriend...i'm weary and a little resentful that I have the whole stepmum scenario at only 10 weeks, but will try and be mature and decent...

Going to catch up with your posts properly now, but first:

for those with sleeping probs, one of my ultra reliable methods is to dip Ishbel's dummy in a little gripe water. Just gives it a bit of a taste and persuades her to suck herself into some kind of calm

also daisy and naat, shall we arrange a meet up in hudders or leeds? Anyone else in the Pennines region?

Hi loooouise, glad to hear all is well. Arthur also wakes only once at night - and is usually doing a block of 6-7 hours at first - but only naps in the day. At the moment it's a price worth paying for the good sleep at night, but I hope he will settle into a morning and afternoon nap.

llynnn I think the soreness depends laregly on your labour, whether you had a tear/stitches etc. It always feels rather odd the first few times anyway - probably just lack of practice!

LittleS hope you've thought a way through the practical difficulties; I can't believe you have to have a dishwasher.

Naat Have a lovely time with your dad .

mrsMc I'd happily swap a bit of heat for this damned rain! But don't envy you the heat at night time; at least in the UK we feel like wrapping up warm and sleeping....

...which I am about to do right now. School starts tomorrow and DD is starting at comp. Gulp. night night all xx

Thanks for all your suggestions everyone, had a chat with my mum, she always picks up very quickly when things are not right with me, and she thinks I am attempting too much and I need to rest more. I think she is probably right. The money from the baking would be great but it wouldn't be much and the amount of work and effort... I think I would end up properly stressed and depressed. So I think I am going to concentrate on planning our business for next year and try and relax a little more.

Hi llynnn and silk, thanks for your kind words.

Hey there looouise, glad to hear you're doing well. The girlfriend thing will be a bit strange for you I'm sure, just take it slow!

X-post ermin - sleep well, dd starting comp tomorrow? That means high school? Oooh, big day! I'm sure it will go wonderfully. Although I now realise when dd goes I will probably need the day off to cry irrationally.

morning

another good night sleep here and dd1 is in nursery so i'm planning a little shopping trip with isobel!

loouise - good to hear you are doing well. good tip about the gripe water, will give it a try. i'm in lincs, about 1.5hr from huddersfield so could poss join your meet up?

ermin - hope your dd gets on well at comp, i still remember my first day there, was a bit daunting!

littlesarah - glad you are feeling better after your chat with your mum, mums are fab arent they!!

lynnnn - impressed with your big night out.

littleS - you reminded me that I felt powerless, not bringing in any income when I had dd, so I decided to import a baby product from Australia and was on the phone to OZ while feeding in the night. Then it struck me that I wasn't really in the right position to start a business with a tiny baby, even if I was enthusiastic....so I decided to relax and wait for the right time.

loouise & naat - I am off to Spain until the 19th - but maybe first or second week of October we could meet up? I would probably tie it in with a trip to visit a family friend for the night in north Lancashire and do it on a day when dp is in London. I have only ever been to a car dealership in Huddersfield (long story) not the town centre, and don't think I've been to Leeds - my car broke down years ago either just outside Leeds or Bradford and my brother's girlfriend who was living there at the time took me in for the night while it was being repaired. I simply cannot remember which town it was, although I suspect it was Leeds. I would have my 3 yr old daughter with me so maybe a soft play centre, although she loves drawing and is very social, so actually it wouldn't matter too much where we met.

Rough night for me. I slept 12:30 - 4:00 and then awake/asleep since then as he kept stirring and crying.

ermin - what is a comp? I know it means comprehensive but how does it differ from any other secondary school?

Morning Juners!!

Llynn, glad you had a good night over there Have fun shopping!

LittleS, so glad to know you're feeling a bit better after the chat with your mum Focusing your energy in the new project you're trying to start with your DH is probably the best

ermin, all the best for your DD today Glad to hear Arthur is sleeping well and so are you

loouise, hi!!! great to hear from you again! Glad your trip to London went well. I can imagine the whole "meeting the gf" thing makes you feel a bit I think I'd feel the same. Is it imminent? Glad to hear Ishbel sleeps well at night It'd be great to arrange a meeting in Leeds (prob better than Huddersfield as it has more places and nicer let's be honest ) Daisy, Llynn, what do you think? Anyone else near? ohhh it'd be great!!

Dad arrived last night, we got home quite late and had a vvvvv late dinner but I'm so happy to see him! He's completely besotted with Mila, cannot stop cooing and singing and talking to her.

Oops, got to go, nappy emergency!!!

(((waves)))

Hey ladies had a busy couple of days. Was at soft play in the morning yesterday with DS. That?s the first time I have been since I had Aaliyah and it was hard to juggle both as typically Aaliyah wanted to be fed as soon as we got there! Then went to Ikea with my Mum and bought some bedding for DS?s big boy bed. Then came home and cleaned the flat from top to toe for the landlords? visit this morning. Went to bed at 1am having just mopped the floors. They didn?t even have a look around really, just wanted to cuddle Aaliyah and fuss over DS ? perfect! Ah well, I even have clean windows so apart from cooking the dinner I think my housework is done for today!

Embarrassing question ? does anyone else?s milk ?let down? when they do pelvic floor exercises or am I wired up wrong?

loving seeing all the photos on FB - so addictive

And now a catch up?..

Morning all

DD marched off to school with an independent glint in her eye. Sob! DS was happy to go back to infants as a year 2 and Arthur slept 9-4.30 and then 5-8.30 so just time for a feed before walking DS to school - I suspect his timings won't always be so helpful.

daisy yes, a comprehensive is just a state secondary school - or a high school as you'd say in Scotland, LittleS. I think that even in English grammar school regions the 'other' schools are called comps nowadays (they used to be 'secondary moderns') even though of course they are anything but comprehensive because the brightest kids have been creamed off for the grammar school. Here all the secondary schools are comps and the local one has great results and lots of value-added with music, sport etc but is enormous compared to the junior school DD is used to. Still, I have no awful memories of my first day at my comp, just a vague feeling that everything was v big and complicated. I think she'll be fine.

Naat Aw, I bet your dad is one proud grandpa

MrsMc My let-down has been much lighter than previously - just enough for Arthur but only the slightest bit of leaking. But I do get a 'twinge' or slight sting when doing some pelvic floor squeezes and remember some leakage happening during sex after having my older DC. I think that clitoral stimulation and nipple stimulation are linked for a lot of women so one could easily affect the other .

I actually got a bit of work done today too, during A's morning sleep - a real back to school day for all of us.

Just posted a couple of more recent pics

afternoon all

ermin, lovely photos Hope your dd gets on well today, dd2 and ds1 went back today [sigh] can you hear the quiet Edward wasn't quite so obliging as A, I had to wake him up this morning, not something I like doing! I'm hoping that as he normally sleeps 11-12 hours at night that he will go to bed a little earlier so that he gets up between 7-8, that would be ideal

MrsMcJnr, impressive cleaning there! Dd3 is back at nursery next thursday, I can't see my house being back to any sort of order before then, it all went horribly to pot over the holidays

naat, enjoy your time with your dad, how long is he staying? Thanks for the update on effie, being a nonfber I don't see these things A meetup sounds good!

daisy, enjoy your holiday

llynnnn, shopping trip sounds good I've been avoiding them over the holidays!

littles, hope you're feeling a little happier today, sounds like everythings a little clearer now

loooouise, good to see you back I think any of us would be wary about meeting the gf, take your time and don't rush anything, at least while you are bf you can't be far away.

silk, sounds like you had a good night out

ineed, how have the first couple of days gone?

tee, haven't seen much of you for a while How's everything going?

daisy, what a fright your dd gave you, so pleased to hear she was ok, how lucky was that?! Not come across a doomoo before, just googled, they do look comfy

Can you hear that ......... ? Relative peace and quiet in the bigcar household dd2 and ds1 are back at school, love em to bits, but they are the two who bicker the most, think they are in need of a bit of time apart now! Saw the physio this morning, looks like my back is pretty knackered now too, I have a little line of bruises on my lower back caused by overuse of certain muscles, oh the fun So a few more exercises added to the list!

the sun has come out at last, bit blowy though, looks like that might be the summer over now! Waves to all

Grrrrrrrr ? DS is being really naughty and won?t stop yelling and crying today, he is exhausted and needs a sleep but will not go down (and I need a break from him!) anyone else finding that one child sets the other off?

Thanks for the welcome to FB Naat Glad you are having a lovely time with your Dad

Bigcar- good point about separate sheets! enjoy the peace!

Llynnn ? Isobel sounds like a long legged lovely

Silkcushion ? glad you had a good night out for your anniversary, shame about the food though my friend who is to be one of Aaliyah?s god mothers is coming over for the christening in 6 weeks and we have a weight loss competition going, whoever loses the least buys a bottler of champers to share with the other when we go out when she comes over ? wish I could get myself into gear!

Daisy ? heard that before, it?s fabulous isn?t it? not long until your hols now! We have a lovely breeze today and it?s only 28c ? perfect! Must have missed a post of yours about your DD, will go back and look

Ineed ? glad to hear that you have found a way to get DD to sleep for longer

Ermintrude ? PMSL at your DH?s description of us, not far from the truth really! hope your DD?s first day is going well Aaliyah is tending to have short 20 min naps a couple of times in the morning and then a longer siesta in the afternoon, she also seems to go down and up with the sun so last week that was 9.30-7 but is now 8.30/9 ? 8! Your kids are gorgeous thanks for the explanation of the let down

Hi Tee, you are quiet on here, hope all is well.

Littlesarah ? sorry to hear you?ve been down, it must be an emotionally charged time though with DD starting school. All your cakes sound fabulous. I am a lousy baker but my sister is great but like you she found too many hurdles to jump through to make a business of it how about looking on Gumtree for a ¾ size dishwasher? Your Mum is probably right, it does sound as if you fit an awful lot into your life

Hi Llynnnn

Hello looouise! good to have you back and so pleased the London trip was a success. I can?t imagine how you are feeling about the whole stepmum thing but it must all be very hard.

mrsmc - hope your ds calmed down for you and he is fast asleep now! i find if Isobel is a bit grumpy, it def sets dd1 off and she starts playing up too!! i think they pick up if i'm struggling too and just get worse!! hardwork!

naat/daisy/louise - meet up sounds good, i should be able to make it. if its a mon, tues or weds i would have dd1 with me too, who's 3 so soft play would be good for her! she is quite sociable too and would hopefully play with your dd Daisy?

bigcar - sorry to hear about your back, doesnt sound very good, hope it will get better in time. hope you enjoyed your 1st day of relative peace too!

ermin - lovely pics, your children are gorgeous

I didnt go shopping in the end, i didnt have the car today and it rained and rained all day, just couldnt face the 30min walk into town in the rain and wind! how lazy am i!!

I'm taking Isobel to baby massage tomorrow, i went with dd1 and enjoyed it so am looking forward to it, hope she doesnt scream all the way through

Hey ladies!

Mrsmc, oh, so sorry DS has been naughty today It must be physically exhausting to be running around him + him being moody + taking care of Aaliyah Hope he finally settled a bit and is now already in bed Well done on the cleaning front! Tomorrow and Sat are going to be like that here (+ cooking) in preparation for Mila's baptism on Sun.

Bicar, hi! Dad is staying until next Friday (or Thurs, oops, not sure now) Ohhh so lovely you have peace now!!!

Ermin, loooovely photos, E's a poppet as you girls say Oh, thanks for that explanation of comps. I still struggle to fully understand how the educ system works here It's very different

Daisy, super xposted this morning! I never saw your post Ohhh not long for your holidays, yay! It'd be great to meet, October sounds great... I'll be with Mila as well

Right, Dissertation printed!!! Tomorrow I'll go get it binded and then if they can do that then and there or after a few hours I'll also go to Bradford and submit it I feel sooooo happy, you have no idea!! Now of course I'm praying for no rain tomorrow as I have to go with Mila and again, travelling by bus and with the pram under the rain is not good at all

We had an awful, windy day today over here, all the windows were wheezing away

Right, Mila is asleep now, I'll watch some more TV, wait for the next feed at around 11.30 and then off to bed Fingers crossed for an easy night.

Hope you all have a smooth night! (((waves)))