June09: the one where we learn to type with one finger

[Tee2072]

Hi all and welcome to our first post-natal thread! Nappy's, colic and burping OH MY!

Come join the conversation as our baby's grow and grow.

wow, tee, great weight gain so pleased all's well after Adams check, hope the rib heals quickly, even if it's not bothering him!

june, great news on the wound! Your family sound lovely, can I borrow them? so pleased you enjoyed their visit, it's a real lift isn't it Not used the injections but am on the mini pill, takes 7 days to start being effective.

someone asked for tips on keeping on top of everything around the house with a small baby. Number 1 tip: don't expect to stay on top of everything with a small baby and don't beat yourself up if your house isn't its usual sparkling self [who am I trying to kid emoticon] just do the bits that visitors will see, the rest can wait!

It's stayed reasonably nice here today even though they forecast rain and of course dd2 and ds1 have decided to play in their rooms, why can't they make the most of the garden while they can? Must go and chuck them out waves to all

Bigcar I am not looking forward to jabs. Glad Edward was a brave boy, poor little sausage. Thumb sucking so young won't mean he'll be doing it at school so I wouldn't worry if he finds it comforting.

Tee Wow, Adam's big fine lad . I did a stakeholder account with Children's Mutual for DS1 (thought it was the Co-op but they don't do one - nappy brain is mt excuse) and will again - they do ethical investments which hardky any others do.

Lunch was lovely - but 1 glass sauv blanc and I'm sozzled .

Just a quick one as about to eat.... (it's early because of he children!)

Bought a new mug the other day which had a very apt motto

" A well dusted home is the sign of a wasted life"

I like it and intend to use it!

Byeeeeee

I know we've mentionned this before...
For mums here who are bottle feeding, how far in advance do you prepare the nightfeed and how do you store it?
At the moment I know C. wakes up sometimes between 3:30 to 4:30 so I put my alarm on for 3:15 and prepare the milk then, and back to sleep until she wakes up, by which time the milk is the right temperature and I can just feed her in the dark and put her back to sleep straightaway. (Instead of messing around while she is waiting, getting restless and proper waking up.)I was told we can keep the milk made for 2 hours so even f she wakes up at 5:30 that's still ok. The milk stays quite warm in the special baby bottle thermos.

Sometimes of course the timing is all wrong and she's hungry early and the bottle is not ready or too late and i have to re-do the bottle.

june I boil one kettle a day for Adam and store it in its own container. I make up bottles as needed from that. So I don't make them up in advance at all. Yes, I know the guidelines say to make up formula with just boiled water, but I think that's silly. And so far, have had no issues with illness due to bacteria in the formula. Based on my own research the likelihood of there actually being bacteria in the formula are miniscule.

However, did learn an interesting thing from the Paed who saw Adam today. I mentioned that he seemed a bit colicky. She said that she thinks all colic medicine is worthless but that feeding a bit of cooled boiled water when he seems colicky can help. So I tried it...and it worked! He was way fussy and so I gave him about 60 mls of water and VIOLA! He calmed right down and went to sleep.

tee i noticed that cooled boiled water helps Sarah when she is a bit colicky, I still put dentinox in her formula which helps but i do recommend water too...only prob with dentinox i have is that Sarah's wind goes down the way intead of up and the cow and gate comfort really makes her nappys and farts smell worse lol poor girl

Also tee great to hear Adam is thriving

Tee ? I wish I could go to yoga, I love it. I have just dug out my Davina post natal exercise DVD (still in the cellophane) but when I?ll find time to do it I don?t know?! Hope you had a good night with Adam last night. Glad the appointment went well but sorry to hear about the rib Aaliyah will be 7 weeks tomorrow interesting about the colic medicine, I have stopped the Infacol; it seemed to make no difference.

Naat ? I have a rocking feeding chair but the problem is the arms are just the wrong height for breast feeding (for me anyway) so I can?t feed in it DS has his bottle and his stories in it though and it is nice to rock in. We got ours on Kiddicare. It was pretty reasonable. Wow, your Mum sounds wonderful cooking cakes every day, how I love cake!! Aaliyah?s bedtime routine, if it is one, starts late too but that suits us due to DS, when she?s older we?ll get her in sync with DS but until she feeds less I don?t think there?s a problem doing things later. For us it?s much cooler later anyway. Hope the traveling goes ok tomorrow

Ermintrude ? I know what you mean about the shorts, all the ones I?ve seen are tiny and such a no-no for me, it seems that my bum has got really flabby during pregnancy the pair I bought are really long! Sounds like you had an awful night last night, hope tonight is much better and that lunch with your friend helped ease the fatigue. My sister is here but I haven?t seen her yet, I guess she is trying to make sure her youngest is much better before they meet Aaliyah.

Littlesarah ? hope you have a better night tonight. I never made it to the baby cinema in Edinburgh, really wanted to though! Aaliyah?s day wakening is now for longer and longer periods. Are you still leaking milk as much? I am only collecting about 8oz a day now, last week it was about 12.

Lllynnn ? hope Isobel?s snuffles are abating poor little thing.

Insy ? thinking about you and Bear and hoping things are getting better. I feel like you about being freed up to do things with DS, I feel a bit nostalgic for the days that it was just us sometimes especially when DS plays up and I know it?s just for my attention I remember looking everywhere for the answer to the how much milk question, in the end I think I just gave him as much as he could drink.

Hey there Laura, hope Sarah is settling down.

Silkcushion ? that?s great about your bedtime routine! a child free evening does appeal to some extent but then again, I do love the hours of cuddles with Aaliyah, even in this heat but I have to limit them during the day as DS is about and I try to give him most of my attention when I am not feeding Aaliyah.

Bigcar ? I remember DS?s first jags, I was a nervous wreck! Hope Edward is ok after his. Here you don?t get the PCV as standard and each dose costs 70 euros they also recommend one for rotavirus (?) and another for varicela (?) again all to be paid for. Other than that all the jags are the same except they also get Hep B here, Aaliyah got her first dose of that at birth. I liked your tip there is a middle aged woman opposite me and she cleans ALL day every day, she makes me feel like such a slob but then again she lives alone and my nest is full.

June ? glad to hear that you have had some TLC. I am currently using the only fool proof method of contraception ? no nookie, no mojo to speak of here

Doris ? LOL I could live by that philosophy!

Tried to capture a smile on film, it?s on my profile!

sorry, just crashing as I noticed MrsMcJr's name in active convos

Congratulations on the birth of Aaliyah and I hope you are all doing well. How old is DS now?

Morning Juners!

Silly comment/rant, bear with me, grrrrr I hate having to go out now!!! I hate it hate it hate it! Bradford will be full of rain as of 10am and my appt is at 1pm!!!

Ok, rant over

Mrsmc, I can't make up my mind re. routines... One day I think it's ok to have it late as we do, the next I think it'll be better to start early... Oddly, I have quite a bit of free time during the day but when DH comes times flies and I feel we don't have a minute to ourselves to talk about his day or silly things... Oh well... Hope you can see your sis and nieces soon

Laura, hi!

Tee, no experience with formula here but DH's cousin does exactly the same you do with her LO and she's 6 1/2 months now and perfecly fine, never a problem with bacteria or anything. Great advice that of the water! Glad the appt went well and hope Adam's rib heals really soon

June, hi! So glad you had such a great time with your family It's great to feel them close, isn't it? and when they help, on top of that, it's even better

Doris, great mug!!

Ermin, glad you had a good time with your friend. I'm going for lunch with a friend tomorrow who has an LO 3 wks younger than Mila and on Friday my translator friend is coming home for some tea and cake so I'm socialising this week

Bigcar, great tips!! Thanks for that, lady Glad Edward was ok with the jabs, reaaaaaaaaaally not looking forward to them

Mila sleeps now (since 9am) so when she wakes I'll change her, feed her, put her in her kari-me and venture out. Let's hope we don't get THAT wet I'll tell you later.

Have a lovely day, Juners!

(((waves)))

Naat hope the rain eases off for you. A friend has just invited DC and me to afternoon tea which sounds lovely and summery but we'll be walking round in raincoats .

MrsMc do you like your Mamaway tops? Mine have arrived this morning and I think they're good - certainly for covering tummies. I went for medium and they're quite close-fitting so that will give me more incentive to hold tummy in and lose a bit of weight!

I managed to get Arthur down at 9pm last night and although he woke at 1.40-2am for a feed and again at 5.20, he then slept until 9.20 and went down again 10 mins ago! Am hoping he won't be wakeful tonight...

afternoon all

doris, love that mug! Reminds me of my old boss' favourite saying, a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind. He stopped saying it to me one day when I pointed out that his desk was empty Twas a good job he had a sense of humour!

MrsMcJnr, you beat me to it lovely pic I got a smiley pic of Edward this morning, it's on my profile (I hope!) I think I've got the hang of it now Do they do babies jabs at the same time in Spain as in the UK?

naat, hope the rain holds off for you, it's looking decidedly dodgy here today! I'm hoping to make it to the baby clinic to get Edward weighed again this afternoon.

ermin, enjoy your afternoon hope you don't get wet either!

Edward hasn't had any reaction to the jabs so far, fingers crossed and all that, thought he might have been running a temperature at one point last night but he was fine I've put him down for his nap upstairs on his own for the first time today and have broken out the baby monitor, it's made me feel quite nervous. Silly really, he's only upstairs, it's not like I live in a mansion or anything

waves to all

Hey LackaDaisy thank you for crashing for me it?s lovely to hear from you and thanks for the congratulations. DS is 18 months now and Aaliyah is 7 weeks today, how time flies! How are you?? Would love to hear, CAT me and tell me what is happening in your life x

Naat ? hope going out wasn?t too bad and that the rain held off. of all your socialising, I feel a bit lonely at the moment, I need to make some new friends. I only have 2 friends here really and it would be nice to have a few more.

Ermintrude ? I am happy with my tops, I got large and I am glad I did as there isn?t much free space they are quite thick and hot but very discreet for feeding and flattering too. Which ones did you get? Tea sounded lovely even in the rain. Glad you had a better night.

Bigcar ? you captured a fabulous smile from Edward (so cute ) I only caught the end of one really! The immunization schedule is more or less the same as the UK. Aaliyah has a paediatric appointment next week and then I?ll make n appointment for the jags, I want to ask the dr a bit more about the ones I have to pay for if we decide to go for them. After the jags I am planning to get Aaliyah?s ears pierced, there?s an acupuncturist who apparently does it really painlessly and all the locals in the know take their babies to her.

Well, I saw my sis for 10 mins this morning my youngest nephew?s temp is bouncing back to 41c every time the calpol/nurofen wears off so they took him to see a Dr this morning who has given him antibiotics for tonsillitis his throat is apparently really bad and the Dr was angry that the UK dr had let him fly like that. Now my sis is trying to postpone their trip to the Costa de la Luz tomorrow (Daisy ? to Zahara) as DN2 isn?t allowed on the beach or in the pool and that?s what their trip was all about. My DCs and I spent the morning with my Mum and 5 year old nephew, he was so funny and grown up (haven?t seen him since April) it?s spooky though, it?s like looking into my sister?s face he is so like her. He pushed DS?s buggy all morning and DS loved it

Aaliyah slept 10-3 last night and then 3.30-7 so that was ok. Then she went back to sleep at 8 and I had a shower and got dressed and basically made some progress on the day until everyone else got up at 9.

Hi!

Well, we got home at around 3.30 and thank God we didn't get that wet... We managed to avoid the heavy rain every time except one so not too bad. I'm reaaaally tired, though, as carrying Mila for 5hs was a lot Documents are off now so all we have to do is wait in the meantime, we're passport-less

I got a Fisher price swing the other day from Freecycle for Mila, it's in great condition and she absolutely loves it. Right now I have her sound asleep on it swinging away... She doesn't like the vibrating chair this much

Mrsmc, awwww that smile is lovely!! So sorry to hear about your nephew (btw I said nieces in the prev. post ) hope the ABs kick in really soon and he feels better poor lamb. Nice sleep you got last night!

Bigcar, ohhhhh that smile!!! He looks absolutely gorgeous! Did you make it to the baby clinic today? Hope the rain wasn't that bad over there

Ermin, hope you manage to get to your friend's dry A good night over there as well!

Mine wasn't too bad but only because DH took Mila and bounced on the birthing ball with her (she loooooves to fall asleep there ) from 12 to almost 2am! And I wasn't even aware of that!!! I thought she had fallen asleep with us at 12! How tired I must have been I'm usually a very light sleeper...

Waves to all, hope the rain isn't too bad where you are over here it's pouring now!

Feeling really down this is probably the wrong place to voice this but it?s the only place where I ?know? people who know some of the history. I feel like my relationship with DH is getting worse and worse. Some days I wonder if he will even come home to us. When he comes in from work (10-2 in July and August) he has the look of a doomed man which instantly makes me feel miserable. Why isn?t he pleased to have so much time to spend with his family? It takes next to nothing to set us at each other and the way we speak to each other and the things we say are far nastier than anything I have ever known in a relationship before. Every day I vow that I won?t lose the rag with him but then he says something nasty, spiteful or malicious to me and it sets me off.

I feel that he has no respect for me never mind love for me, there is certainly no tenderness, no desire and no companionship most days and I seriously fear for our future and feel like I can?t breathe because I do love him so much and can?t bear the thought of being without him. Then on other days, rare ones admittedly, he is his old self, caring, funny even affectionate. That?s when I wonder if it is in my head that we are falling apart but I don?t think it is.

I have tried to talk to him but he just blocks me out with yes/no answers and infuriating comments like ?yes dear, whatever you say dear?. The things he is saying are getting worse. He told me the other day that he blames me for all our joint debt because he didn?t have any when we met. He told me today that it could be arranged that he was no longer my husband. All this takes place in front of the kids. He is affectionate to DS but just ignores DD, she is my responsibility and he?d rather play games on face book than tend to her, there is no bonding whatsoever.

I don?t really expect advice as it is hard for any of you to suggest anything based on a snippet like this but I feel like I am drowning and dread family time, and what makes it so hard is the lack of sleep and the hormones raging through me, I can?t decide if I am overeating or not. Thanks for listening

Oh mrsM!!!! Don't have any real advice, not sure that's what you need but HUGE ((((Hugs)))) we do know a little of what you've been going through.

If it's any consolation, with regard to interaction with A DH says it is really hard to "bond" with DD3 atm, but he always finds this stage difficult and sees it mainly as mummy time i.e. I'm the one with the boobies and she can't possibly want him. Although the other day I was busy sorting the gargae and she was unsettled I made him put the "unmasculine" Karri me on and he had a snuggle with her which was his first proper one in 7 weeks, as he interacts much much much more with the older dd's who respond to him.

With your relationship only you can decide how far you feel things have gone and whether it's time to get outside help before things go any further (counseling?). Is he still brooding about Scotland or is there other stuff as well??? (rhetorical questions btw). Whilst some of his behaviour sounds if not reasonable, understandable. There are other parts (comments to you) that seem to point to something more troubling.

Give yourself space and time, and try to get some sleep before you suggest anything and make sure it's what you want.... and a new baby is a big adjustment even if he's done it before....

((((more hugs))))

Lots of hugs mrsmcj. I think you need to get yourself to a counsellor, even if he won't go with you. Just to have someone to talk to about what is going on.

Meanwhile, us Juners will come over there and kick your DH's ass, okay?

Lots more hugs.

A very big hug going your way, Mrsmc. There's not much I can say that be counted as advice, but I just wanted to offer support. You're right, we don't know much but you've mentioned several times here some of the things that have happened (even before Aaliyah was born). Honey, you don't have to think you're overreacting, because these are things you feel and perceive every day. Don't dismiss them, but as the girls said, you need to voice them, it's not good for you to have all this pent up. Maybe counselling could work? Treating you badly or saying nasty things in front of the kids is not good, honey, it really isn't. You need to know what is going through his mind right now that makes him treat you that way. Maybe it's the Scotland issue or maybe something else, but he needs to get that out.

So sorry if none of this makes sense or seems useful to you I send you loads of hugs and we'll be here to offer support (and as Tee said, send some nasty ass kicking your DH's way).

(((Hug)))

xxx

Hey mrsmc lots of hugs from here as well, you've got so much on your plate right now.
God knows what is going on in his head but if he doesn't tell you straight how are you supposed to know?
He can either tell you what is bothering him and try and change the situation for the better together as a couple or carry on feeling unhappy with repercussions on you and the children.
Sometimes dhs think what is upsetting them is very obvious and we have absolutely no idea.
I hope he opens up and you figure it out together soon xxx.

Aw MrsMc sorry you're having such a rubbish time. It sounds as though your DH is taking you for granted and saying cruel things just because he can, and then he probably feels ashamed but can't bring himself to apologise or be mature about it. I'm assuming he's a classic British male here...

If you suggested counselling, would he realise how seriously you're taking the difficulties in your relationship? And I know how hard it is not to rise to the bait, but if you can resist sniping back he'll hopefully see his behaviour in a new light rather than be able to put it down as marital squabbles.

As others have said I do think men can get a bit lost when there's a newborn around because they're not as 'necessary' as mums at first, but that shouldn't translate into nastiness and it changes very soon. Can he be persuaded to carry Aaliyah in a sling or have her for a snuggle after a feed?

Also don't forget that we're still hormonal, sleep-deprived and emotionally vulnerable at the moment, which makes everything seem worse - I've been very snippy with DH about tiny things just because I'm knackered - so try to protect yourself from getting too upset and don't feel that drastic action is needed. You'll get some perspective on things over time, and maybe by talking to a 3rd party. Hopefully DH will come round before that's necessary.

((((( hugs )))))

MrsM - sorry to see you're feeling this way. I have to agree with Erm that it is very difficult to have perspective at this point with such little children.

I would say dh and I are not very loving at the moment, very snappy with each other too. But it's not a serious problem (I hope) it is due to lack of sleep. I know I get a bit evil when I'm shattered and react badly to things that were said fairly innocently. I also struggle to adjust to not working. I've found myself getting bossier and bossier wiht dh over the weeks. He did point out the other day he was my husb.and not my staff

He's also struggling to cope with the lack of time really. Two children under 2 years old is not easy.

Of course there may be more serious problems with your dh but it's difficult to know what is real and what is hormonal/sleep deprivation/readjusting to the new family status quo

Thank you all so much, I feel more positive having let off steam to you all, you've all said a lot of very true and helpful things. Thank you for being there for me

Am cleaning the house with Aaliyah in a sling, it feels like deportment classes

afternoon all

MrsMcJnr, sending you ((((hugs)))) the other ladies are talking sense (as usual!) having a baby puts a bit of stress on everyone in the family. I hope you can sort something out, being nasty to you in front of the dcs isn't really on at any time, however hurtful it is for you it will also upset them and he needs to realise that. My dh feels a bit like a spare part at times and we've gone through this many times before! It's funny how often I need a wee as soon as Edward has fed, so I just have to put him on dhs knee on the way past so Edward has to be winded by daddy of course dh is wise to my plans now but he enjoys the chance to feel useful.

naat, glad you didn't get too wet yesterday

we all made it to the clinic yesterday, Edward is now 14lb 1oz what a lump eh?! Dh got a few smiles off Edward yesterday, really made his day

waves to all

meant to say bigcar what a gorgeous pic of Edward smiling, he's a little poppet . and mrsmc even the end of Aaliyah's smile is so cute. Arthur seems to be smiling quite a lot this past couple of days but, as he's only just 4wks, I think it's wind. Once it was at the curtains...

Thanks Bigcar

Ermintrude - Aaliyah really loves looking at curtains so you never know

I weighed Aaliyah at the chemist today, she was 5.5kgs.

yeah, lo loves the curtains here too...
Im getting lots of smiles and lots of talking now which is great, 6 weeks today :D
I did think of a good question to ask you guys, but as seems to be the case all the time at the moment, I forgot what it was...be back later!