June09: the one where we learn to type with one finger

[Tee2072]

Hi all and welcome to our first post-natal thread! Nappy's, colic and burping OH MY!

Come join the conversation as our baby's grow and grow.

oh mrsmcjnr - big hugs from me. What a horrible horrible situation to be in. I can really relate to some of what you say. DH is in a difficult situation at work, and is really feeling the pressure. He looks at Fraser and instead of joy, I can see that he feels even more financial pressure. He has not changed a single nappy and Fraser has had many less hugs from him than dd. He too feels it's completely my responsibility and I do everything. But he seems to have been better lately. Our night out to the concert 2 weeks ago really helped. He said there 'wasn't much of 'us' left. And I said 'rubbish - it's just in a holding pattern until the first three months are behind us.

But your dh sounds like he is under tonnes of pressure since that meeting with your dad over the business and its future. Did it all start back then? Is he depressed do you think?

It's natural to react badly when the people we love most and would do anything for, talk to us in such a cruel and dismissive way. It sounds like he is trying to inflict pain (because he is in pain?).

Oh god I am being such a boring physciatrist (sp!!) when all you need is all the best hugs and thoughts from us all. I bet you are still the same fabulous person you always were.

By the way, mastitis here (from thrush in Fraser's mouth) and 3 hours of the 'shakes' last night and temperature.

Think on the mend. Anyone else got experience of mastitis?

hi all, a very quick one here

mrsmc - hope things are better today, sorry you are having such a tough time with dh, i havent got any more advice than the other girls have given, just want to send {{{hugs}}}

daisy - sorry to hear you have mastitis, hope you feel better really soon

dd1's 3rd birthday tomorrow so have been busy sorting and tidying everything for her party on saturday. we are having it at home (in the house as the forecast is terrible ) have 9 toddlers coming! arrgh! wish me luck

my mum made the cake in the end! mums are great arent they!!

Hi all,

Mrsmc, hope things are better, more hugs going your way. Nice weight gain, Aaliyah!!

Daisy, oh poor you, honey! Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Are you taking ABs? I have no idea whatsoever about it but maybe some other Juners will come with useful advice. I meant to tell you, remember how I told you a BF consultant had told me that what we ate had no effect on our LOs whatsoever? Well, I think they might be taking theory too seriously Last Sat I ate 6 dried apricots as I needed some help To make it short: after only 1h and in the space of 8hs Mila had 10 (yes, 10!) dirty nappies Poor little mite was pooing every 45mins! I didn't know how long it'd take for it to leave my body and therefore my milk, so I just had to wait At night she was OK and stopped the dirty nappy production, thankfully. I'm never again taking my food intake for granted while BF.

Llynn, bless your mum! Glad you got that sorted Hope the weather is not that bad on Sat so that your DD can have a nice bday party

June, happy 6wks to Calypso!! It's great when they give you loads of smiles, isn't it? Take a pic and show us

Bigcar, nice weight Mr Edward!!! And nice burping strategy, lady

Silk, how are you all feeling? Has the cold cleared now?

Ermin, hi! How are you??

Tee, hi! I saw on your FB status you had a gas leak! Is everything OK now?

Doris, hi! How are you?

A nice day here, I met a friend today for lunch, she had an LO 4 weeks ago and we ventured into town with both of them. They let us have lunch in peace, thankfully and after that they fed for 45min, which was their lunch

(((waves to all)))

hiya everyone

mrsmcjnr sorry to hear that the trouble with your DH has reared it's ugly head again. I have no better advice than already mentioned but I agree with tee who mentioned seeing a counsellor just so you have someone to talk to...but we are always here sending you lots of love and hugs xx

daisy sorry to hear you have mastitis i hope it clears up soon!

llynnn I hope your DD has a lovely birthday and I wish you all the luck in the world with all the children coming to your house for the party

Big hello to all the rest of my fellow juners i hope you all are well

Sarah got weighed this morning and is now 10lb 9.5oz thats another 11oz increase in one week. I am trying to post photos on my profile for the ones not on facebook :D

LOL June, you are so funny

Daisy ? you poor, poor thing mastitis is awful; I hope you are feeling much better. I had it a couple of times with DS and I just couldn?t figure out why I was feeling so terrible. Thank you for your words of wisdom I?m sorry that you are feeling a lot of the same things I am, they are isolating aren?t they? I think work is a major issue with DH. I have offered to have a meeting with him and my Dad to show my support but he (DH) has refused. Sometimes I feel that he likes to be a victim and blame others for why work isn?t up to par rather than making it better for himself. If I am honest, I am very disappointed in his attitude and it makes me furious. When I met him he had plenty of drive and took a lot of pride in what he did and it was something I found very attractive about him. I was lying in bed last night trying to pin point when things started to go sour and I think it was around April time. Nothing significant happened but maybe he just got to his own limit on frustration. I have tried so hard today to do nice things and not to bicker, there hasn?t been much two way flow on that though.

Thanks llynnn and happy birthday to DD

Naat ? glad you had a lovely lunch I know that when I eat lots of fruit Aaliyah poos I have also read that the more varied your palate the more likely they are to like the majority of foods later in life.

Laura ? thanks hon Sarah is a real cutie

in haste because v late - daisy I went to bed earlier this week feeling shaky and 'fluey' and with a v slight pain in one breast - recognised it as early mastitis signs and so when A fed I gently massaged that sore bit towards the nipple and made sure he emptied the breast (as sure as anyone can be) before moving on to the next one. After 2 or 3 bouts of feeding that night and the next morning things felt better and the fluey symptoms didn't develop. If you can catch it early and 'feed through' the painful breast with massage you can avoid abs. It does hurt like hell though! Good luck.

Hi everyone. Finding it so difficult to keep up with you lot! I don't get on here that often anymore as the kids need me whilst they are off school.

Elina is doing great. Had 6 wk check up yesterday. Weighs 10lbs,12ozs. Has a little bit of reflux but nothing to worry about. The mark on her arm is a strawberry birth mark and will take a few years to fead so nothing to worry about there either. She is an absolute joy to have in our family. Smiles all the time, still sleeps loads and sleeps a 7 hour stretch through the night We have been truly blessed

I am also good. BP still high but nothing dangerous. On meds. Uterus back to normal. No period yet. Don't know what to do about contraception as cannot take normal pill due to BP and Mini pill doesn't suit. Will have to rely on condoms for a while but feel uneasy about that. Our family is complete now but don't want to be sterilised or anything serious like that yet. Don't want to try Mirena again as made me into a "she devil" the last time so looks like wil have to try copper coil. Has anyone had this before???

How is everyone else? Tried to have quick read through but impossible to keep up.

Mrsmc - my heart goes out to you. I also can relate a bit to how you are feeling re:dh. My dh and I are not getting much time alone so the pressure mounts. He works hard, comes home, has his dinner and spends all his time then on the laptop or blackberry. He sometimes doesn't even say hello to me or Elina Its not intentional but still can hurt. We are having our 8th wedding anniversary next wk so are going to lunch this Sat. Would a lunch or dinner out together help you? Sometimes you just need some time apart from the kids. Time to be able to talk uninterrupted and to be "the 2 of you" again.

Kids do change relationships somewhat and when there is a newborn in the house it can be so difficult with tiredness etc. I also beleive that men can feel very left out as we plough all our time and love into the kids. I am not making excuses for your dh as he does seem to be mean to you and you deserve more but you do really need the time to talk. I have been so down as times with my dh that I have considered counselling but once we sit down and talk (almost impossible at times I know) we seem to sort things out.

I really hope you can work through things. Big hugs xxx

hi everyone... Still on the phone at the mo so excuse my ignorance at my lack of catch up... Just after a bit of advise... Have been bf for 4 weeks now, and have not enjoyed a second of it. The pain is awful, not just during feeding, but stabbing pains in my boobs in between feeds also. Caelan feeds really well and I feel so guilty for not liking feeding him. My let down is so strong and painful, I dread it. The breastfeeding counsellor observed a couple of feeds, and she said the latch is perfect, and Caelan definetly isnt tongue-tied, so she suggested I might have thrush. Caelan has no symptoms though? So we now have some anti-fungal cream and drops, but if this doesnt work I dont know what to do next... please tell me it gets better than this?? I so want to enjoy feeding him sorry for the incoherant rambling-partly down to me and partly due to being on my phone!

Morning busy ladies!

choccie Elina sounds like a dream, how lovely. My DD had a strawberry mark on her chest - not at birth, it grew v quickly in the following weeks - but it faded over time and is now just a faint flat pink mark.

worried Sorry to hear b/f is still hurting. If the latch is good and Caelan is feeding well it shouldn't be such agony by now so maybe there is an underlying problem. Try the thrush treatment - symptoms aren't always obvious - and keep making sure that he's got loads of the aureole in his mouth as well as the actual nipple - and see how it goes before worrying any more. Blocked ducts can also build up before developing into mastitis so try massaging painful bits while he feeds and make sure he empties each breast so that you can't feel any more milk lumps.

Being all tense makes let-down sting - still hurts me if I'm feeding him in a stressed situation - so I know it's easier to say relax than do it - but take deep, gentle breaths and make sure you've got the phone, the remote control and a cuppa next to you so that your feeding time really is as relaxed as possible. Hope it feels better soon.

thanks ermin, I am so tense when I am about to feed him...my boob is usually pouring milk, Caelan is usually fighting with me as he puts his hands up to his mouth as a reflex as soon as anything touches his mouth, so I am usually trying to keep both of his arms down! I need to try and relax, my back is killing me from being tense throughout I dont know how people just feed their babies out and about, its such a big operation for us at the mo!

worried, hi! No advice on the thrush front but I do have experience in what you last mentioned. When I feed Mila milk is usually leaking loads, she is not patient at all and starts moving her arms everywhere, she pushes the boob like a kitten/puppy about to feed and usually cries until she feels the milk coming through... It was extremely stressful for me at first, we had to swaddle her to feed and my shoulders and back were a wreck! What gave me a bit of a break (and the poss of feeding when out without it being an activity requiring major strategy and coordination) were the shields, as she doesn't fiddle much and if desperate with hunger it's much simpler for her to latch. I don't use them all the time, just when out and about and when Mila is fretful. I'm not saying it's the answer, just wanted to share with you what helped me I agree with Ermin, follow the treatment and see if it helps, massage the breast and try to be as calm/relaxed as possible (it's bloody hard, I know, I had tears streaming down every time). Let us know how it all goes ((a gentle hug)) xx

hiya everyone

choccie glad to hear Elina is doing well and thriving

worried sorry to hear the b/f is still painful, unfortunately i have no advice as gave up b/f after 1 day due to my horrendous labour i couldn't deal with recovery and feeding. Just wanted to send you hugs xx

Well today has been bad, i think poor Sarah has the flu, she hasn't slept since 4am apart from odd 10min spells, high temp and constantly crying, whining and needing cuddles...i just feel so helpless

quick question. I am considering spending 100 on an isofix base for the maxi-cosi infant carrier but not sure if it is worth the money for only 9months, as due to the rate Sarah is growing i'm expecting to put her in a forward facing seat from 9months. I know my childs safety is paramount thats why i am considering buying the base. There are ones on ebay for around 60 so would you guys buy it brand new for 100 or second hand for 60 if there is proof that it has not been involved in a crash?

hey laura we bought our one new, mybe ask the shop if thy would do you a discount?

Just very quickly, I?ll respond more later (especially to you Choccie )

Worriedamy ? I?m really sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time, I can empathise, BFing DS was a real battle and one of the main reasons that it is better (but by no means pain free) this time is because I had those 7 months of experience and have tried so many different things now. Are you drinking much caffeine? Because I have read that the stabbing pains between feeds can be down to that. I have had those stabbing pains too and I don?t have thrush. I have put it down to the nipple damage affecting the nerves. I too have a strong let down (and it sprays all over her face) and it can really ache, I don?t know why it does sometimes and not others but I think it is worse when I go longer between feeds. Have you tried hot and cold treatments? I do find that helps as does massage as Ermintrude suggested. Also take note of how you are feeding; I get more pain if I have been feeding out and about squashing my nipples through holes in tops and not supporting my back properly. Do you rest your feeding arm on a pillow? That helps to relax that side. Flailing arms can be a nuisance, I try to tuck DD?s bottom arm under my arm and hold her hand on the other one but it doesn?t always work. Keep talking to us; hopefully we?ll help you solve the problems together

Thanks everyone!! I did think about trying the sheilds naat but to be honest, I have been a bit scared about using them after silk's nightmare story!!! How do they work? Is there a chance that the little blisters on the end of my nipple could get pulled through?? Thanks for our gentle hugs btw!!! mrsmcjnr I have been drinking quite a bit of tea, I think I will try to cut down and see if that has an effect! I have an awful posture when feeding I know! I find myself all hunched over and tense because it really is so painful Don't want to moan about it, but it is like being cut up on the nipple each time he feeds, it makes my toes curl! My nipples have been bleeding for about a week and a half, and even expressed milk is coming off pink to begin with... needless to say it gets chucked straight out!! Surely its not meant to be this painful?

june forgot to say- thanks for the links for getting my computer sorted!! The problem now is the dp took it into work to get fixed ( ) and it has come back now saying that the windows needs verifying or summit... snore...

lauraloo I think if I knew I could sell it on to someone else once I had finished with it, or it was going to be used by future los I would be tempted to buy it new, and then you know for sure that its not been in a crash or anything??

Thanks for your help with the breastfeeding everyone- I really want to keep going, partly because I don't know what I am doing with formula and cant be bothered with all the heating up/ sterilising etc etc!! If the thrush treatment doesn't work though, I really don't know how much longer I can do this for...

looking for more advice...Sarah has been in pain (i think) all day and not sure what is causing it. She had a high temp but now its coming down but my mum noticed that her urine smells quite strong, but i have thought that since day 1. mum said that strong smelling urine could be a UTI so now i'm quite worried I am going to try giving her some water in case it is dehydration but just wondering what you guys think could be making Sarah like this...put her down in her moses basket there at 7 and this is the most she has slept since around 4 this morning

Oh and i think i will buy the isofix base brand new like you said worried at least i'll know it's not been in a crash and i can keep it for future lo's

laura it really sounds to me like you need to call your GP and have her seen. Or even take her to Casualty since its Friday night.

laura it's what the urine smells of that's important - agree with Tee that if she seems v distressed you could call NHS direct and see if they advise getting a doc out, or check with your GP - does s/he have a weekend service?

worried you're right not to just put up with pain and blood from feeding; when people say it's harder than you might think they don't mean that hard. There's a b/f counselling person called Tiktok on MN - maybe put a call out for her advice if that's possible or check out b/f threads that might mention the same prob. Or start your own for some more specialised advice.

btw, having a pillow on your lap so that baby is high enough to feed without your arms having to support all the time really helps posture - I've got a v-shape cushion but any soft stuffed thing will do (well, almost - not a fajita, eg. ).

thanks tee and erm for your replies. The smell of the urine i think is quite sweet smelling. I am going to keep an eye on this overnight and if it continues i will be contacting nhs24 in the morning. She doesn't seem as distressed now as she did earlier in the day and she has just take 4.5oz of formula in comparison to the 2oz she was having earlier in the day.

Thanks again x

Hey ladies anyone else?s baby desperate to roll? Aaliyah gets right over on her side. I thought it was too early for that but I do think I am in a bit of denial that my baby is getting older and bigger very fast!

Choccie ? glad to hear all is well with you and Elina. What a sleeper! Aaliyah has a few birth marks too, in exactly the same places DS did funnily enough and his disappeared after a few months. How about FAM (Fertility Awareness Method) for contraception? That is what I use as cannot use drugs and don?t like the idea of a coil. Thanks for your words for me, I appreciated and considered them hope you have a lovely anniversary lunch tomorrow.

Laura ? sorry to hear that you have had a bad day with Sarah, hope tomorrow is much better. Can?t help on the iso fix base as our car couldn?t take one so we had the maxi-cosi stage one on its own. For what it?s worth, we only changed DS to his stage 2 after his 1st birthday. The back facing ones are safer and as long as Sarah?s head doesn?t poke over the top, you should be able to use that seat for a lot longer than 6 months. Don?t wait until the morning if Sarah?s temp spikes again hon.

Worriedamy ? it really sounds like your nipples need a break, they sound like they are in a very bad way. When that happened to me the MW forbade me from feeding DS directly she told me to either use protectors (as the others have discussed) or express all feeds until they had healed. I did a mixture of both and as they took so long to heal DS forgot how to latch on and so I had to continue with the protectors even though we had a lot of help to get him to latch properly again. It was a faff using them as it was hard to be discreet, I panicked if I forgot to take them out with me and you have to sterlise them but they do allow you to heal, slow down your flow and allow you to continue breast feeding without the pain. I used them for 6 ½ months with DS and don?t have any horror stories but do make sure you check them for wear.

mrsmcjnr last night when i was changing Sarah I was sure she was trying to roll but thought at 5 1/2 weeks that this was way too early for her to try to roll, she managed to twist right onto her side, I had to turn her over onto her back so I'm sure Aaliyah is desp to roll too...how quick our babies are growing
Thanks for the advice re car seats greatly appreciated x

Hi all

Worried- Your nips do sound in a really bad way. I been treted for thrush on and off for the last 7 weeks Had cream which made my boobs so wet they got even more sore (I was using it in combination with Lasinoh ) last week I had a course of fluconazole (anti fungal) I not convinced it's done a huge amount but things are feeling a bit better.

With regard to the bleeding are you using lasinoh to try and help with the healing? that nipple protector and checking your postioning not just at the latch but during the feed. At home i feed I one of 2 chairs with a cushio in my back and a huge pillow on my lap to raise A up to my boobs so I'm not stooping. I helps massively. As for the feeding out and about I notice that when I've been out ofr the day A feeds loads more in the evening as I'm much quicker at endig feeds.... (oh and A is No. 3 I was still sat at home feeding at this stage with no.1 dd!!)
I throughly agree with Ermin that TIKTOK is fab and may be able to help much more than any of us....

With car seats we have bought both new and 2nd hand (from the local area where I could meet them and see their reason fpr sale.) FWIW I would look into the stuff on MN about car seats and the age to keep LO's rear facing til. With DD1 we turned her quite early (9mths ish) but by DD2 I had done a bit more research and we kept her in a Britax 1st class rear facing till 18mths+ (apparently in scandanaan country this is normal and much much safer...

Right quick update from down in Devon....Well it's raining!!! However have had the builder in for th past couple of days doing our patio (so the girls can play outside with less supervison ( area previously building site!)). I am soooooo excited that I will beable to open the doors and let them play as they love being out.

DD1 4th birthday on Sunday, I admitted defeat and booked a local soft play party, much more than I would normally spend on a party but with just me and dh (my mum's not around atm) and a newborn and no back garden to speak of atm. I think it was worth it.

A was weighed on wed for the first time in 3 weeks she was 10 6 so not bad just under the 50th centile on the bf charts. She is still incredibly pukey but it's less distressing again (i think she and I both had a bit of a stomach upset a week ago). Her favourite thing atm is a mobile that sing the tune of imagine (john Lenon song) and goes round it brings on huge grins which are lovely. She still wants to be worn in a sling most of the time but other than that we're good. Left her for a slightly long period for the first time today with dh (went to a pool party at one of dd1's friends houses) and she had her 1st (and 2nd) Bottles of EBM which apparently didn't touch the side sno fuss or anything so now I just need to get pumping and I'll be able to get out a bit more.

Right it's time to nudge her for a feed before bed.

Night all

PS Laura if you're at all worried over night ring NHS 24 they'd rather you did particularly with a LO, thay can go down and bpick up so quickly....

note to self PROOF READ -sorry ladies

one handed typing sorry

worried bleeding nipples ime meant something was wrong. remember that everyone was telling me the latch looked fine but it simply wasn't. after my 3 day break to heal i've not really looked back - sorted latch out properly after that. my nipples just couldn't heal whilst she was still feeding. now i realise that i was in agony and bf shouldn't be excruciatingly painful maybe just uncomfortable.

let down is a strange feeling for me but not awful. there was no way i could feed and be relaxed when i had shredded nipples. i think you really have to get some proper advice preferably face to face from a bf counsellor. good luck