May 09 - weather and jabs = hot cross babies

[Momino]

hope i'm not duplicating

Momino - Happy Birthday!!!!
Glad you had a good time last night.

Pula - glad your DH is being supportive. I'm sure having a bit of time to yourself will be good.

We're trying to tidy up the house today as we're hosting our NCT reunion bbq tomorrow. 6 couples and babies could be fun!!

Febes on the floor

Running I get the burning pain, sometimes for 1 to 2 hours after feeding (I'm feeling better today though, I didn't get to the walk-in centre to get anything, so I'll be waiting until Monday ). Thrush does thrive in damp, hot conditions so the inside of my stout bra is ideal. Nice. Just been using an old bra of mine to ping flies. Lots of fun .

Febes on the floor

detsy I've given up caring what my ladybits are like, 3 kids probably doesn't leave them in honeymoon fresh condition (I would imagine you could go caving in there, Wookie Hole?). DH is more than willing to 'check them out' for me, but I'm still bleeding slightly.

Febes on the floor

Pula I'm so glad you've spoken to your DH, I was worrying about you today. Iit's just so difficult and exhausting, isn't it? And I've got it easy in comparison to most of you, having 2 kids who are quite a bit older.

Febes on the floor

And finally Febes on the floor

Grumpy - sorry but lol at Wookie hole! I did go to out of hrs and got some cream for me. Dr doesn't think A has it yet tho - I disagree tbh because she is grouchy and I think it's because she has a sore mouth.

Febes - go girl!

Fikelly - love your bs- sounds like it was a much more positive cs experience than first time round although what a nightmare at home. Fingers crossed all gets sorted smoothly and ds loves his new room.

No action here but I am still bleeding a bit. Have looked tho and I do look a bit different to before!

Just feeding off one side and expressing from theother so dh cangive A a bottle later. Only got out just under an ounce in 15 mins... That isn't good is it?

Also A keeps falling asleep on the boob after about 10 mins - unusual as she usually sucksfor ages. Do you think there is a problem with my supply? Am taking fenugreek and milk does seem to spurt outif I hand express.

Hi to everyone else too x x

I couldn't think of a cave more local to me. I almost typed 'Cheddar Gorge' but that just sounds disgusting.....

S only sucks for about 10 mins max from me before she zonks out.

I found that I can express loads of milk from the right nork, but not much from the left nork. I have wondered about this as I'm right-handed . I would have thought you would get more if you're feeding at the same time, but it does depend on the time of day too, doesn't it?

I do find the amount I get when expressing does vary dependant on time of day. I tend to get most early afternoon. I find it hard to express when feeding. Does this really make expressing quicker?

expressing is the same for me.. i only get a max of 2oz from my left.. and the right doesn't want to be pumped at all! still trying to find a good time to fit it in.. every time i'm going to do some g decides she wants a 2boobs feed!

all the painting is now done again.. the new carpet goes in wed.. so ds will be back in his room shortly after. just got to move all his furniture and toys etc back in..

It was a bit wierd expressing and feeding but given A feeds so frequently I thought I'd make good use of my time and multitask! Will try a different time of day for the next attempt I think.

Hi, just about to go to bed, but just had a question for those of you who give bottles of EBM. I usually give DS2 4oz each time, and he mostly drinks it all. Should i offer more? I don't like to waste any by making the bottles too big. How much do your LO drink per feed?

Night night

pula i've not had enough ebm for a whole feed but the aptamil carton says this...

baby
weight oz per feed
7.57lbs = 3oz
8.5lbs = 4oz
10.5lbs = 5oz
12lbs = 6oz
13.75oz = 6oz
15.25lbs = 7oz
16.75lbs = 7oz

anyone still up?

re: expressing. I am rubbish at it really struggle to get enough out for a feed if I try on and off all day

had a blazing row with dh earlier (I think he is angry with me mainly because I have not been putting out) I am trying honest its just that this motherhood thing has hit me for six. I don't feel attractive and I'm just knackered all the time , I feel guilty because the house isn't as tidy as it could be, I feel guilty because I'm failing at Bf, nothing seems to be going right at the moment.

sorry for the me me me post

looby was heading off to bed and saw your post..

you are not failing at bf.. it doesn't matter if you're using formula as and when needed.. your body went through a major ordeal with m's birth and it takes a long time to get your strength back. i know as ds's birth was v similar last time and i didn't manage bf at all post his birth due to my state of health.. so give yourself a huge pat on the back for all you've achieved.

it's 6wks since g was born and we've not got round to sex yet. i'm less tired this time and not sore cs wise anymore but we are still worn out.. think the added stress of being flooded by upstairs hasn't helped.

your dh is prob tired and may well be a bit err frustrated on the nookie front. you'll get the brunt of his moods as you're the closest.. my dh has been moody this wk with his mum staying for a few days and i got the brunt of his moods/grotty comments. he did apologize and i'm sure yours will too.

chin up you are doing fabulously.. truly and the house can wait.. it won't be like these early days for ever!

You still here Looby?

When I had my first child I was totally knocked for six. I don't think anything is as hard as your first child. I've found my second easier but not easy, if you see what I mean. I found DS desperately hard and I still look back at those first 3 months and shudder. I love him to bits but I absolutely hated the first few months. I remember sobbing in his room and wondering what on earth I'd done.

I remember being obsessed about expressing. I was obsessed about his weight, my weight, feeding, what side I've fed from, how hot, how cold, god just everything.

I swear nothing in life is as hard as becoming a mother for the first time, except perhaps becoming a father and even then they don't have to worry about blinking breastfeeding.

I promise it will pass and it does get easier. It matters not how you feed, just that you do feed your child.

llare I was just the same first time around. i found it hard to even get out of the house in the 1st 6wks . this time in some ways i've found it easier but still learning in other ways..

Llare I know your post was meant for loobs but thankyou! It has summed up exactly how I feel. I love A to bits but am not loving being a mum atm as I feel so stressed out by everything I think partly it's the whole 'not knowing what we're doing' thing. Why don't they come with a manual eh

loobs just wanted to echo fi in that I think you are doing amazingly well esp since you have had a tough time of it with the added stress of your job situation too. Don't beat yourself up.

In the meantime, who wants to join me in a chant of 'this will pass' ?

This will pass
this will pass
this will pass
this will pass (and repeat...!)

there is just a lot of pressure on mums. I worry that O is the smallest 8 week old I know (although he is putting on weight nicely now). I also think he "should" be sleeping in a cot or moses basket at night and for daytime naps. He isn't - he just wants to feel close to me. Maybe I should be tougher and leave him to cry more but he often gets to what I call level 3 crying. As for resuming relations, no chance!! (Poor DH!)

this will pass
this will pass
this will pass
this will pass

Looby I too had similar issues with dc1. I had an emergency c-section under general, and it took me a long time to get over her birth. My scar was still weeping at 10 weeks, but worst was the bf, and her dropping to the 2nd centile. Bf was so painful and every professional I spoke to told me I was doing it correctly - but it still was so tiring and indescribeable pain. I tried expressing most nights and couldn't fill the bottom of a bottle. In the end, I cracked open the formula - crying about it for about a fortnight - but it was a great decision for my sanity.
It was only me who was putting pressure on myself to be a 'perfect' mother. No-one else minded how I fed her, how messy the house was, the fact that I was still in my pj's most days etc.
it helped me to get out of the house each day and it got to the stage that I didn't care who saw me in tears whilst I was out walking. I always felt better at the end of it.
I consider dh and I to have a pretty strong and even relationship, but even that took a knocking in the early days. We had had no idea what to expect, so were totally unprepared for the utter exhaustion and emotional upheaval. We rowed over ridiculous things after rarely rowing pre-dc. Things improved but it took time, and as my boobs were so painful, dh was not allowed anywhere near me for 16 weeks (after I gave up bf totally and my boobs returned to normal), let alone 'relations'.
Anyway, that stage certainly did pass but it just seems so endless when you are going through it.
This time round things are much better as we had clearer expectations, and did things differently. Things do get better.

To all ....this will pass, this will pass, this will pass

Momi - hope you had a lovely day yesterday

reggie I gave myself a massive guilt trip about having to use formula with ds & i was also absolutely gutted it didn't work. like you say no one else cared if it was formula esp ds who would feed quite happily from anything with milk. i was so upset about not being able to bf it still brought tears to my eyes when i talked about it over 2yrs later!!! i'm delighted it's working this time but i'd already decided not to pressure myself if it wasn't working. tbh in many ways i find FF easier than bf.. predicting next feed etc. bf very handy when out though

all the stuff we're struggling with will pass..

Morning Ladies. I'd just like to echo that I had v. similar experiences with DD1. I had no idea what to expect and stressed about everything because I didn't trust myself and didn't have a clue what I was doing. I don't think I left the house for the first 3 months and gave up BF after a couple of weeks because it was so painful. I also had similar "what have I done" thoughts, and still do from time to time, if I am being honest.

Hope this helps. Also, even with DC3 I have been through (and still get) moments of terror when I haven't a clue how to deal with the kids and want to just run and escape and leave them to it. And I have full time childcare support from a Nanny / DD1 going to school, so really shouldn't feel this way. I keep reminding me that it is hard work, so this is a normal reaction. I also agree with a comment Belgian made a few days ago, that in previous generations there was much more support from families, so we are expecting a lot of ourselves to deal with it all on our own.

This will pass - this will pass - this will pass

PS I also have an angsty DH who is not getting any, and is putting the pressure on. Which is really making me feel more like doing it... NOT! If he was nicer to me once in a while (without undertones of wanting it) the likelihood of it happening would be much higher!!

Hi all.
looby and others, you're/we're doing a great job. it's a very, very tough job. as i've said, i really wish i could afford FT nursery care for 3 as i think going back to work is much easier than being a parent.

someday we'll look back on this and feel accomplished, proud, but that's hard to do at the moment with challenges of breast feeding, baby weight gain, crying, sleeping, giving attention to other DCs, toddler tantrums, wifely 'duties', etc. it's really tough to take time out to actually see the accompishments we're making every day.

anyway, i like 'this will pass'. make sure you breathe deeply whilst chanting .

had a great birthday, thanks all again. i feel better now that it's over, though, and don't have to concentrate on the 'life begins at 40' jokes, etc.

we're off to the Moors railway today so best get going.

I hope you're all feeling happier today. will check back later.

Hello gang- first post in yonks
Jake having a nap in his carry cot- so nice that he will now sleep somewhere else other than on top of me for a bit during the day!

Haven't been able to catch up on how everyone is but I can see from the posts above that some are having a tough time of it- hope you are all getting lots of support

Jake has got very chubby this last week he looks like a little buddha! I have told DP I am going to be a feeder and make Jake so fat he cannot leave the house like on those American documentarys so he is with me always and never leaves home. DP just responded with nervous laughter as though he knew that
i was only half joking...

Both sets of grandparents coming to oooh and aaah again this week- not sure how I will cope and hate the idea of bfeeding in front of DPs dad- I am completely unable to do it discreetly as I need to look at what I'm doing otherwise Jake nipple sucks and make me sore- oh how i wish for a baby breastfeeding sombrero right now!

looby- i know others have said this already, but i just wanted to say something too.

I don't see you as failing at BF. You provided M with colostrum for her early days through massive efforts on your part, and anything after that is a bonus. I know once my DD had bottles (EBM or formula) she preferred them too, and there is not much you can do about it. Just keep offering the breast and if she's on strike, then she gets milk by whatever means.

I find it difficult to express anything worthwhile unless it's when i would have given a feed or if S has only had a small feed IYSWIM. I think its because the body only produces what is needed. You could always get DH to give M a full FF when you would normally BF and then you express at the same time- you might be surprised how much you have (although i find if i don't get my letdown, i only produce drips).

As for your DH, tell him to sort himself out like my DH does. Mine would love to resume relations too, but i don't have the energy or the sex drive at the moment so we haven't done anything in the last 8 weeks (or a few weeks before delivery). He is expecting too much of you.

As for motherhood- gosh I thought i'd made the biggest mistake of my life when I had DD. It changed everything- my relationship with DH, my body, my whole life. I hated not being in control and able to do what i wanted. I didn't go out for weeks, and spent many sad days at home with a crying baby. But it does get better. Everyone keeps saying 12 weeks is a big turning point and that's not far off now .

Hello ladies

Just a quick one from me.

Happy birthday for yesterday momino, hope you're having a great weekend.

Llare, I echo runningmonkey's sentiments - your words really struck a chord with me as well as a mum of one. I love F to pieces and a lot of things are going well but I still have so many worries (we have no routine whatsoever, there is too much housework, he makes funny noises (!!), I'm still bleeding and my bits feel funny - do I have a prolapse, why is DH such a knob, why can't I get out of the house or get anything crossed off my chores list, has F just got milk spots or am I failing to clean him properly, have I lost weight, do I even care.... etc etc ad infinitum) that it's lovely to have a bit of reassurance that it's ok to still find it difficult and be bewildered and frustrated on a daily basis. So, thank you.

We've had a lovely weekend with friends staying - a late pub lunch and then relaxing in a beer garden yesterday, a barbecue last night and then I made Sunday lunch today before they set off home. DH and F both asleep now so have some peace and quiet. We didn't get to bed until 2.30am (fed F before bed and then at 6am) but am sure F will make me pay tonight!

Do I need to try to get F into a routine or can I just wait to see if he naturally settles? He slept most of the evening yesterday for the first time ever, rather than cluster feeding and grizzling - I wonder if it was a one off...

Need to clean out my car today - we've used it as a skip so it's full of cement dust etc and DH is out and about at work all week in his car. As I have appts, I need to make mine fit to put a baby in. DH said he'd do it as he made all the mess but I doubt it. Sigh.

Please can someone open the gin bottle and pass it this way. It may well prevent a double murder (of MIL and DH). Thanks.