May 09 - weather and jabs = hot cross babies

[Momino]

hope i'm not duplicating

I feel terrible for smacking DD on her bum today but i had just put S down after holding him to sleep so i could get on with making tea and then she starts making loads of noise dropping toys on the wooden floor. She said "ow, that hurt, mummy" . I gave her a big hug a few minutes later and she hugged me back but i hate myself for doing it.

And momino, yesterday i had to put S down in his chair (before i did him some harm), whilst i went in the garden to take some deep breaths and pretend the DCs don't exist . Sorry you had a bad day. Hope you have a lovely evening.

Oh clucking bell fell asleep and waiting

Well my day had gone pretty well until precisely now. H woke up from a nap at 5.30 so decided to try out the bedtime routine thingy, gave him a bath and got him to sleep at 7.45pm. Only now he is awake and crying because he thought it was just a nap. My meal is finally ready and now I have to go off and calm him down. Sigh. Neat gin for me!

dandy- yes, I am concerned about me too . She was banging and dragging toys around the floor, so i asked her to stop as it was too noisy and then she deliberately let go of something so it crashed to the floor. Both DH and I have been getting annoyed with her lately for not listening to us and she has been disciplined a lot (naughty step) and i do feel sorry for her as we expect more from her because of her age.

Hi all
Quickie from me - not been on for ages so sorry, don't know how you guys manage it!

Full sympathy with those struggling - we hae manic days as well and a DP who works long hours and is often away. I find bedtime the worst as I hate to leave A screaming but need to get Lotti in bed.

I think its perfectly natural for older siblings to be kicking off at this stage - its a huge change for them and they will be testing their boundaries. Lotti is great with A most of the time BUT takes to trying to kicking /slapping him in the head and laughing when I say no. Did some research as was at end of tether due to yelling at her and one day actually smacking her. I now put A out of her way when she starts and completely ignore her and the behaviour (she's too little for reasoning/naughty step at the moment). It seems to work really well..

llare very impressed with you and your dignity and emotional intelligence capability. I wish you, your DH and family every possible success and all the happiness in the future.

grumpy hope you got sorted, does bio yog not work in the meantime like it does with fanjos??!

pula feel for you hun, parenthood seems to be one big guilt trip doesn't it. I try and do what dandy suggests as well with quality time alone with siblings - not always easy or practical tho but i think any time is really worth it. Take care of yourself and keep talking

And...I'm so so glad thats its normal not to get much done in the house. I only realised yesterday that my stress levels (which were rocketing on a daily basis) was in direct relationship with jobs I have to do in the house and which don't get done due to sproglet demands. Its the laundry I struggle with TBH - baskets of laundry everywhere, grrrr

I also had major panci as left A screaming and thought he'd aspirated (DP away and was trying to get lotti in bed) I spent next few hours in tears and shaking and have had to rethink my strategy (DP away again next week so have asked a friend to come and stay - can't do that every week tho can i??!

Mother isn't talking to me - she's bonkers and I'm fed up of being the parent all the time

Oh and I have a TMI question for you ladies about post partum lady gardens.....

I guess most of you will have had a look at state of play in nether regions? For those on 2+ children do you look v different to how you did before? I seem to be very gapey IYKWIM (kicking a sausgae down the high street is what I'm worrying about - tho don't know as not ventured into full on sex just yet!)

Got PN check next week so will ask then but just wondered what you gals all thought - sorry to be so v personal!

pula - hugs. dandy - you are so right about the older ones bearing the brunt of it.

I had a good chat with the hv today about how I'm dealing with DD1. She didn't really have any suggestions, but it was good to offload; DH is great but distracted at the moment. Those of you struggling, please talk to someone.

DD1 has been a bit difficult again, but I've been trying really hard to take a deep breath and think before I respond to her. I've been trying over the last few weeks to do the one on one time with her but it's tricky as the moment DH appears she wants to be him, not me so I end up with A all the time. Don't get the opportunity when he's not around because of A never sleeping/wanting to be put down.

We've got friends visiting this weekend, it'll be lovely to see them but I'm also not looking forward to it because I'm p*ssed off with not having good looking clothes that fit me. How silly and shallow is that? I haven't even got any idea what suits me any more, and certainly no budget.

tummum - I've been meaning to ask but keep forgetting: how was your careers councelling? You might have posted on the old thread bu I probably missed it.

Just done the Edinburgh PND questionnaire on the internet and scored high- will defo speak to my HV as i am worried about some of my behaviour lately.

Did have some (kind of) good news today. My Dad has been to Christies Hospital for his first appointment, and they think his skin cancer is in the early stages and hasn't spread to the lymph nodes which would be second stage, so he starts his treatment in a month's time and are very positive about its effectiveness.

ha ha ha - glad to see nothing has changed really and I'm still bloody talking to my bloody self

Good god I make the humungous effort to post and no one will talk to me anyway...

dandy is it reflux that Hector has?

Spangle - hi you - we need to get together for that lunch soon. I think youa re waiting for a response from me - unsure when we said we'd meet but think it was soon?? Will text you! V impressed with the bedtime routine planning - I need to be a proper mummy and start thinking about routines and reading up again - just have to go with the flow at the moment (ie A goes to bed when I do)

When i say "(kind of) good news" I mean that in the sense that it would be better if he didn't have cancer, but it was the best news i could hope for in the circumstances.

Detsy- after my DD I didn't take a look down there for 6 months or more as i didn't fancy seeing the scars from my episiotomy and 2 tears. After that it was 2 elcs for me, so i can't help answer your question but i hope someone can help.

Off to bed now. Night night.

O oh crossed posts - sorry!

PUla good on you girl for dealing with potential issues head on - so glad you are going to talk to HV. Great news about your dad - Christies is a brilliant hospital, he'll def get teh best possible care there.(bonkers mum there a few years ago)

flip with you on the clothes - girls night out on saturday with 3 very slim friends - got sod all to wear and no cash for anything new - not that I can find anything I want anyway. I need Gok desperately

Evening all.

Pula glad to hear news about your Dad. I suppose that if they are not starting treatment in a month they must be pretty confident that they have caught things early and that it is treatable. I am glad that you are going to speak to the HV about how you are feeling. Take care of yourself.x

Detsy lovely to hear from you. I can't help you re: ladygardens as I haven't looked and haven't started relations again. I really should make an effort, but I am so blimmin shattered at the end of the day that I just can't be bothered . My DH is away normally Monday-Thursday, so I can empathise with you. The worst thing I find is the loneliness, and worry that if something did go wrong or needs sorting it's only me here to do it.

Flippin the councelling went OK thanks. We looked at my core values and beliefs and next time will look at my strengths and weaknesses to build up a picture of what transferrable skills I have. I am also looking fwd to working on my confidence as that is my biggest problem. It's a bit scary because I will be giving up on a reasonably successful career and pay cheque if I do change, but I want to either choose to continue or choose to do something else, rather than just bumbling along IYKWIM ! Thanks for asking . Also IKWYM about clothes. I have got so fed up I bought some stuff from Asda (George) online because it was pretty cheap and I figure I can wear it until I lose some weight.

Well, I've had a great evening! I've been to Warwick Castle to watch some of the cast from Mamma Mia singing Abba (of course) with a symphony orchestra. It was FAB and I feel like I've had a holiday because of course I left both boys at home. It was bit of a risk because G hadn't had a bottle before. Anyway, I left 12 oz of milk and he drank it all between 7pm and 10pm! Amazing.

pulapula I'm so glad you've had good news about your father. You must be under a bit of stress at the moment, no wonder your finding things a little tricky right now. We're all here if you need as, as I discovered this week.

detsy how lovely to "see" you again. I've no idea what my bits look like but I must admit to still feel a little bruised down there. I'm sure I shouldn't after so long.

tummum the careers counselling sounds veyr interesting. Do you think it helped?

detsy I'm a 2 x cs and not resumed full relations girl so unfortunately i'm no help re down there..

pula great news about your dad as catching these things in the early stages is so important to nip it in the bud to maximize chances of full recovery.. & we'll be here any time you need to off load but i'm sure your hv will have some suggestions re how you are coping/feeling with the stress & tiredness of dc's and worry about your dad.

llareggub at your mama mia eve.. sounds fabby and must have been lovely but also bit weird to have an eve to yourself

good morning all.
pula, hope you enjoyed a huge (if virtual) cocktail last night. really hope your DCs give you a break today and you feel more relaxed. also, good news about your dad. you're going through such a tough time, give yourself a break.

tummum,career counselling sounds helpful, i wonder if i could find some .

llare, sounds like a lovely time out, what a treat!

my night out was good as well. i had a glass of champagne to start and mojito to follow . my friends got me a Clarins face or body treatment for a bday gift. i'm very since i'd never spend £on something like that though always wanted to.

pula, i do recommend going out child-free for a relaxing break from young DC's. any chance you can?

thank you all so much for happy bday wishes. i like the new 21 .

DH has decorated the house with balloons, signs, got lots of cards in the post from my many siblings to open, cake to eat, picnic later, bbq tonight with more champagne... hope the weather co-operates.

hope all of you are well and the weekend is somehow easier than the tough week it sounds like it's been for many.

Aagh think I migh have thrush too - nips don't hurt during feed but feel like they are on fire afterwards. They also look more pink than normal. Does that sound familiar? Can't see spots in A's mouth but she is a lot more dribbly than normal and pulling off boob a lot - indicator of sore mouth?

Momi - happy birthday!

Happy Birthday Monimo have a lovely weekend

Llare so glad you had a fab evening - you absolutely deserve it

MIL is up here today, so I need to stock up the cocktail cabinet...

I never did get round to telling you all about g's birth.. so hear goes!

down here they like all elcs ladies to be at the hospital for 7.30am so to beat the bristol commuter traffic we left a sleeping ds at 6.15am in the care of my auntie who'd stayed over with us the night before. the journey to the hospital was uneventful and we actually got parked in the maternity car park for the 1st time.

there were 2other elcs ladies for that day but not over cooked like me at 41wks.. we all settled into the day room watching breakfast telly and trying not to think how thirsty and hungry we were! unfortunately we had quite a wait there due to some complex emergency cs's happening. at this point we were warned there was a possibility of our ops being delayed to the pm or of being sent home and coming back tomorrow fortunately that didn't happen and i was called first to theatre at 11am.

i was given my passion killer socks, changed into my surgical gown and we were off. i'd brought my natal hypnotherapy birth music cd to keep me relaxed. the theatre staff teased me i'd send them all off to sleep but it did help me esp through the spinal. the cs was straight forward apart from a bit of difficulty getting grace out due to her size and the fact that she started wriggling n crying before she was out! i was a bit bruised but at least i hadn't vomited like i had with ds last time. i got lots of skin to skin for the majority of the stitching me up time too which was wonderful.. and was another thing i didn't get with ds. off we all went to recovery in a state of shock and awe that it was over already and we had our beautiful baby girl..

my lack of vomiting was too good to be true though as i started to feel sick in recovery. by late afternoon i was still vomiting but less so they'd pumped me full of anti nausea and iv fluids to stop my bp dropping so low.

then at 7.15pm disaster struck.. not with us still in recovery but at home. paul found 2missed calls from home and 'hi can you phone us asap messages'. on phoning he discovered our neighbours washing machine drum had split and flooded ds's newly finished bedroom just as my auntie was putting ds to bed.. water pouring through the ceiling narrowly missing his bed.. of all the days we needed everything to go smoothly it was that day as ds had never been put to bed by anyone else.

dh had to go home to take his bed apart and move it leaving us still in recovery.. and hit bank holiday traffic so it was past 10pm at night before ds was settled in his old room

6wks on the repairs are underway after many hassles with upstairs insurance as it's rented and was landlords washing machine that broke.. so his responsibility not the tenants. at one point the landlord wanted us to claim for the carpet on our insurance as it wasn't covered in his buildings policy! he's now paying for it with cash as we stuck to our guns and pointed out we hadn't trashed our own carpet.. so by the end of this week we'll hopefully be all finished again and back to normal..

happy birthday to you momino sounds like you'll have a great day.

happy birthday momino hope you have a great day!

Happy birthday Momino. Hope you have a lovely day.

Well we've been busy today so just having a sit down now with overtired baby on my lap . Took DD to ballet with DS1 today leaving DH at home with S and a bottle of EBM. Felt very liberating. Lucky for DH S slept in til 9.20 . Then a friend who works for HSBC had some spare tickets to the HSBC family fun day so we went along- free picnic lunch, rides/bouncy castles for the kids etc. Just a shame DS1 had a few tantrums (terrible twos here we come) DD was whiney and S wouldnt sleep in his buggy even with lots of motion. But we survived it!

Momino- i think i will grab some mummy only time this weekend- just to go and have a coffee and get a birthday card/present for my mum as its her birthday on weds. I told DH last night how sad i felt, and he asked whether i'd like him to take the older 2 out to make things easier. I said could he take all 3 . This morning, he said he'd do whatever i wanted him to re. which kids to have and when- 1, 2 or 3 in whatever combination. So feeling a bit better about things, and more in control.

Afternoon

Grumpy it seems I have 'caught' your thrush as I started getting nipple pain last night. I wouldn't have known what it was if we hadn't been discussing it. I went to the out of hours clinic today and have a prescription to collect this afternoon. I hope you have a treatment for it to Grumpy as it is painful. The doctor said it was because of the hot weather and damp breast pads (nice) so thats why we have all got it.

Detsy I have a toddler who lashes out at her brother as well. I'm trying to play with her and make an effort when DS is asleep but they do like attention don't they. DD bit DS on the leg when I was feeding him the other day .
Fanjo- DH and I had a proper shag the other day (on the lounge floor, afternoon delight ) and asked him if everything was in order down there. He seemed pleased. Result.

Flip I know what you mean about having nothing nice to wear. I have had 2 babies in under 18 months, my body is different, my clothes out of date and my confidence is low. I also have friends wanting me to come out. DS is still feeding every 3 hours if not more, I haven't the time or energy to express, have no money and feel like plain boring mummy.

My sister found out she is having boys. If you remember she is having identical twins and already has 2 yo DS so will have 3 boys . She is 16 weeks and LOs are doing really well.