May 09 - weather and jabs = hot cross babies

[Momino]

hope i'm not duplicating

Quick one as we are having a manic one this morning! And this is my 'quiet' day with ds while dd is at creche at dh at work .

Looby really sorry to hear about your evening. Don't think I have anything useful to say but am thinking of you.

ses i hope your dh is ok and you all avoid sf or get it over with quickly and without too much unpleasantness.

momino I get the "it's my only pleasure" line too, I cannot understand why men don't seem to realise what an insult that is ! Fortunately though dh drinks regularly, ie most days, in general it's moderate. Going out and drinking used to be our main shared activity but luckily we've both toned it down since dd arrived.

I find with food and drink if we don't buy it, we can't consume it, as we don't live particularly near any shops. When I was in my twenties i lived next door to a corner shop which was open til 10pm and sold sweets, cakes, alcohol etc so that was really tempting of an evening.

Looby- I really hope you can help make your DH realise how dependent he is on drinking, if he could only manage one night without it. If he swears its not a problem, then challenge him to last longer without one.

Since being on ADs i haven't really fancied a drink and have decided to be teetotal as alcohol counteracts the benefits of the ADs as it is a depressant.

Looby it sounds like you are having such a hard time with your DH. I hope he has apologised this morning

Febes you must be exhausted- surely the housework can wait. I suggest that when your DH takes the kids out you put your feet up with a magazine instead!

I am up to my armpits in laundry, so far today we have bedsheets that are covered in leaked breast milk and baby puke (they were clean on yesterday), two sleep bras and sets of washable breast pads soaked in breastmilk, one poo covered babygro and two sicky muslins... lovely.
Just had a bowl of cereal for breakfast but the cake I made yesterday is calling me- does fruit tea loaf count as one of your 5 a day if you eat enough of it?

morning all..

ses glad your DH is feeling a little better

momino "only pleasure"...sounds familiar

febes when I met him he enjoyed a drink and to be honest at first we would share a bottle of wine most evenings but while I could take it or leave it he didn't see to. I didn't like feeling rough the next day, admittedly before I go pg I enjoyed a good night out but since having M 2 glasses of wine is about my limit.

I have asked him not to drink when he looks after M solo and he has agreed .

sophietom fruit tea loaf - yum! 5-a-day? well it has fruit in it

no apology from DH just out the door at 7.30 for work. I just know when he comes home I am going to get the silent treatment .

On a brighter note M is loving her play gym today kicking away, grabbing and giggling for the last half hour.

arrrgh having a major stress meltdown this am. g wants fed constantly which is making ds bored.. the phone keeps ringing, our washing mountain has grown too with a spilt beaker of milk on our king size duck down duvet.. which has to be professionally cleaned, g posseting, ds deciding to 'help' with the washing up.. soaking me and him in the process and the kitchen floor . all i wanted was an easy am before going to a play group.. which starts at 10 and we're now running late for.

made it to play group.. only 95 mins later than I intended.. dropped duvet off on the way to be cleaned and just finished a hot cuppa tea and huge slice of coffee and walnut cake.. healthy eating goes out the window again! ds playing happily and g asleep so eventually calming down. only one unexpected prob. they normally serve lunch but due to staff shortages they're not today.. so just crisps, cakes, biscuits etc to eat. don't think ds will complain and i do have fruit with me.

Well DH got up (after I yelled up stairs at 10.30 ) and took DCs for a walk up town to buy milk and bread while I quickly cleaned the downstairs, but he forgot his wallet so I'll have to go up and get it later anyway. Honestly MEN!!! He is going up to Manchester to work on Wed and will only be back Monday night or Tuesday morning so I will be on my own for 6 whole days and I'm shitting it!!!

Looby Euro We also used to drink as our main activity. When I was working I wouldn't normally drink during the week. But come fri night we would down the wine. Now that I'm not working I must say I am getting bad at drinking everynight so try not to have it in the house so temptation isn't there but if I really feel like a glass of wine or we are having people for dinner then I definately have some.
DH has got alot better and limits himself but in the old days he did some bloody silly things when pissed like breaking into our house through the double glazing on the front door and falling asleep on the tube and going to the end of the line on the other side of London and other things. He really can't handle his booze but still drinks most nights if not working. He used to hide beers so I didn't moan at him . I worry about him as his dad is an alcoholic.

looby euro febes - another case here of drinking having been our main leisure activity before F came along. Not every night but certainly most nights. We spent a lot of time socialising with friends at weekends and whatever we did involved alcohol.

Also another case here of DH drinking (in my eyes) too often and too much: not being able to stop drinking once he gets started and also not believing it's an issue. It's one of the only two things that makes us argue, his drinking. (The other is of course money!)

The Sunday drinking is the most annoying - this weekend, we had friends staying so we had a few drinks on Friday with them. We all went to a wedding do on Saturday afternoon in a pub and had some drinks then. The 3 of us called it a night about 11.30pm on Sat as we'd been up to 1.30am on Friday and in the beer garden a lot of Sat afternoon. DH stayed up by himself until about 2 / 3 am - he can't remember. Then yesterday he's got a stinking hangover, our friends leave, some others are coming over for a coffee in the afternoon and he starts drinking again at about 12pm before they arrive - Guinness, my white wine (I shouted at him so he put it back), about a bottle of red wine, and thought I was unreasonable when I said I thought it was a bit OTT for a Sunday afternoon when he'd had no lunch and had 2 heavy days previously.

Then he wonders why he's tired all the time and feels down - hah!!

Febes DH has also climbed into the house through a tiny window when drunk and smashed all the glass in our porch door on another occasion. I'm not prepared to talk about all the other things he's done because some are just embarrassing (falling out of trees, quite a lot of gratuitous nudity, crawling round the floor and biting people's legs are some of the tamer items for which he is known), but I had thought he would tone it down after F's arrival. (He was brilliant for the 4 weeks before my due date up to when F arrived because he knew he might have to drive. It was lovely) After F's arrival, he seemed to calm down for a couple of weeks and now he's back on it and it does my head right in. Oh well, at least he doesn't drink every night.

momino, others, it is indeed also his only pleasure and apparently I am just a killjoy and am deliberately trying to prevent him enjoying himself - double .

Anyway, just thought I'd share to say there are more of us with similar experiences.... I know that the same is true to greater or lesser extents with several of my RL friends.

PS Fi, what a rubbish day you're having - I would have given up before playgroup, I'm sure!! You're made of sterner stuff than I am.

Oh, we went to look at nurseries on Friday and have found one we really like with spaces for January - yay!

looby, hope DH is apologetic when he gets home later. on the other hand, great news about M loving her playgym.

all, it's good of you to share your DH stories. although i'm not glad we all have same/similar difficulties, it helps to know we're not alone.

reebee, biting people's legs... and. also, we have the same 2 arguments as well (3rd place is arguing about sex).

It sounds very dull in our house but our biggest arguments/disagreements are around:

1. housework and
2. paperwork (e.g. remembering to pay bills)

DH hardly drinks at the moment as he is jogging every night or every other night as he is trying to lose weight and get fit.

Well I put DS1 down for a nap at 12.30 and DS2 down at 1.15 and they are both still asleep. It was very unexpected as DS2 usually only manages 45 mins so I haven't made the most of it really- have just sat of the sofa with my laptop . Might go make a cup of tea and have a biscuit!

Oh and it's very quiet here as I took DD to stay with my parents yesterday and she is there until Friday

Oh, DS2 is waking up now...

sophietom have you tried Tommee Tippee or Lansinoh breastpads? You won't believe the difference. They are far more expensive, but you don't need nearly as many, and it saves on the extra washing and effort. I'll give you a few pairs to try next time we meet if you like.

Hi all
just back from lovely weekend at my mums. Hope all ok, lots to catch up on so off for a read x x

just home.. reebee it was worth getting out as ds had a blast at the playgroup . we also managed to do more errands on the way home and after 2days of miserable rain, ds being bored of rainy day activities it was just as much for my sanity we needed to go out today.

pula we also argue about housework and paperwork. dh is a bit of an ocd tidy person when stressed and i get told off helpful suggestions about how he thinks things should have been done/not done.. iyswim it drives me nuts at times..

We argue about
1)money
2)me wanting more support/ help cleaning etc
3)whether to live in NZ or SA- I won that one but its been a major issue since we got married

fi- I also get told off (mostly when I "tidy" things into various drawers at random so we can't find things ) but i get annoyed because DH sorts the post into bills to pay and things to file, and then I end up with charges on my credit cards because I don't realise bills have arrived and they've been put in the action folder .

I have also been out today - to 2 parks as DS1 has been asking to go out. We managed OK in the morning as DS2 slept in the pushchair, but he wasn't so happy this afternoon so i left the park with a screaming baby and a screaming toddler who didn't want to go home/wear his reins.

My dh is really laid back and we generally only argue about sex! I nag moan at dh about awhole list of things!

Febes when we 1st got married and I asked dh for help around the flat his answer was get a maid Is your dh Afrikaans? If so does he speak it with you dc? Also I thought it was a right of passage for South africans to fall asleep on the tube and end up on the other side of London in the middle of the night

Bad mummy alert, or lack of working brain cells alert - I had to pick ds1 up from nursery this evening and I realised when I got there that I'd forgotten to strap ds2 into his carseat

I'm feeling quite lonely in rl at the moment, as I don't haven't made any good friends in the area since we moved back. My friends are dotted round the world and it seems to be that I'm losing contact with some of them

Our arguments are about

1. DH's lateness - he is pathologically late. On a good day I see his lack of understanding of time as a disability (like lack of spatial awareness) but at other times I just think it's plain rude. What really infuriates me is when he lies about where he is (eg nearly home, when he hasn't even left). The worst time was when he left me waiting for a lift in town for 3 hours. It was a Friday night, I had a work suit on and bags of shopping from Sainsburys and I had to sit in a bar until 10pm waiting for him. He had the cheek to suggest we stop for (another) drink too. Boy, was I

2. Help with housework - the usual stuff. Pre-H I did it because he works 6 days and late into the evening (although he used to stay in bed 2 hours later than me in the mornings ) and I didn't want our only time together to be spent cleaning. Post-H, I am doing it because I'm on maternity leave, but I've told him when I go back to work and H is more demanding he'll have to muck in. He's suggested we get a cleaner, which I'm fine with, but a bit he won't face doing what I've been doing for him since we lived together.

Drinking we agree on. We both like a little tipple of an evening, but not much and we very very rarely get properly drunk.

Re DH's lateness - he rang me at 5pm to say he was coming back with his friend/electrician (who is OCD about tidiness) and is the house in a fit state for visitors as he'd be back in 30min. Rushed around like a mad thing, ignoring H, and he's not back yet

Hiya everyone. I've had my operation. And I'm home from hospital. I'm still in quite alot of pain, but it's done now. DP is off looking after DD1 and baby J, both who have been little angels through everything which has gone on, and this whole ordeal. 12 weeks I've waited to have this op, and I've had it now...breathes a sigh of relief I can't hold J or anything which is the only thing, and he really wants me, I've been in hospital a few days and he's missed me, so has DD1...It wasn't easy. They did manage to do the operation keyhole though thankfully, I did have to have a drain in my stomach though, which was very painfull! And even though I've had 2 spinal's for both my sections I've never had an anaesthetic, and that made me funny, it gave me water retention, which I'd never even heard of. So i had them keep scanning my bladder and keep trying to make me wee every hour through the night...when I got home I slept solidly for 21 hours almost! I'm on a ton of painkillers which put me in cuckoo land and make me sleepy, and I'm not doing anything apart from eating a tiny bit, drinking and sleeping, cause I'm still in so much pain. It will get better though soon. I am still here though. My baby J was 12 weeks on thursday, and has just started saying mamammam too appararently he wouldn't shut up when I was in hospital lol he's definately started earlier than his sister, I wonder if missing me made him say it....more sleep for me I think, love to you all XXX

Jael- good to hear from you. Glad you have finally had your op, and hope you start to feel much better soon. Look after yourself.

my dh has all our DVD's in alphabetical order.. books too. likes the forks, knives and spoons all facing the same direction in their different sections in the drawer.. likes his clothes on certain hangers with the hook parts all facing left.. etc. and wo is me if i put milk in ds's green beakers instead of the blue ones i could carry on and on lol