April 2009 - Chapter 3 - Let us round up the stragglers

[PuzzleRocks]

Ta da.

BTW ladies, if anyone wants a baby friendly holiday and doesn't mind a risk of rain, can I recommend the Kinderhotels in the Alps? They have free childcare and baby kit on loan, and indoor swimming pools and playrooms, as well as lovely gardens and usually some sort of spa/fitness thing. Here's a competition for a free break.

www.kinderhotels.com/uk-quiz.shtml

I think Germany's hugely underrated as a destination for family holidays for those people who don't want to frazzle on the beach all day and then go clubbing all night.

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Where the dickens are you all??

Hey Boff!

(Pump pump pump pump)

God I hate expressing. I've managed what looks like about 30mLs in 10 minutes. Pointless exercise.

Hello! look at me posting two days in a row

Just went for a picnic in the park and got rained on... perfect excuse to try out the waterproof cover for Oscar's new buggy (yes, I know, I'm very sad).

Juw - I'm the same. I pumped for 15 minutes this morning and got 30ml. Great. Oscar guzzles about 220ml at each feed (I know as we gave him a bottle of formula last week hoping it would be the magic solution to lack of sleep - obviously didn't work) so I'd have to do some serious expressing to get that together... depressing

Hope you're all having lovely weekends. My DH is off on a stag do tonight so I'm home alone overnight with O for the first time.... eeek.

(pump pump pump pump)

DH is going back on the anti-depressants. I'm not 100% sure that I don't need them too. I don't know how much of it is to do with him. I may post a thread later. & I intend to catch up really soon, I promise. Hope everyone's well xx

By the way, my phone's off & has been for a couple of days. If anyone wants me then email / Facebook is probably the best bet for now xx

Just got back from DS1's school fete. We were supposed to be watching him doing a country dance display that the top year do every year as a sort of leaver's ritual, but this year it was really crap, and the only thing he did was stand there while someone wrapped him round with a ribbon thing from the maypole (normally they all do about 4 or 5 maypole dances, all in costume and beautifully choreographed). I was very disappointed as I have been looking forward to him doing this for 7 years as a kind of rote of passage. What should have been a a very happy and proud family moment was really spoilt by the school's disorganisation and lack of preparation.

I then found out I had pulled my own feat of massive disorganisation, and got the time wrong for DS2's fete at his new school, so we accidentally missed that completely, and now he is crying and so am I. Plus I had a row with DH in the car beforehand about his faffing and we are not talking much anyway. Things are not going that well today.

Hi everyone.

Juwesm / Bicnod - I know how you feel about expressing! I can only manage to get an ounce or so of milk out at a session unless I wait until my boobs are really full (which hardly ever happens because A is such a milk guzzler ). Wish I could get more out because it takes quite a while to stockpile enough for a whole feed .

Hope you're ok Springy. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone (doctor for e.g.) too? I can completely sympathise with your situation with DH - my marriage is going down the toilet pan at the moment and we're fighting like cat and dog over every bloody thing. Last night I suggested we have some couple time together so we watched a DVD then had a cuddle and a snog (which felt pretty awkward really). I suggested to DH that we should get a bit more intimate and he said no!! It's getting beyond a joke now - we haven't done anything sexual since the beginning of January (imposed by him). I'm completely healed up now and have been for quite some time, but he just isn't interested . He says it's because he's got other things on his mind and we'll get back into it in a few weeks time (yeah, right...). I'm feeling completely revolting, rejected and angry with him . I'm definitely NOT going to try and seduce him again though because I'm fed up of being rejected. He says he still fancies me apparently . It's really getting to the point where we barely even kiss each other any more.

Anyone got any ideas about what to do?????? It's making me feel really distant from him.

Boff pour yourself a glass of wine/have some chocolate/whatever your poison is. Tomorrow's another day, as they say .

My thread, for anyone who's interested.

& Kali, I feel the same about the sex thing. It's partly what's led to his decision to start on the ADs again. He's not interested in sex anymore. To the point that he won't even talk about it in any capacity (be it practical - contraception, etc, or fun). Every so often, he'll make a show of being interested, but it fades away immediately. Sometimes I think I make him feel obliged to participate, but unless I keep the momentum going throughout (almost literally), he'll just give up. This coupled with the things he's said...

He also has developed an attitude that I should play the good little virgin girl & not talk about sex, want sex, or expect him to want sex. I don't know where it came from - he used to like that I'm 'filth'.

The point is, I have no idea how to change it, but I understand the feelings of rejection. I think this is a really important time for our self-esteem & constant sexual rejection hurts several times more than it may have done at other times.

I am kind of reading what people are saying, but can't get my shit together enough to respond yet. I will. I just have to wait to be in the right frame of mind.

What do you all score out of 30 on this?

Kali, that is a long time. Plus rejection is really awful, isn't it. DD's father used to do that sort of thing to me. It was humiliating.

They always say the sex thing mirrors the wider relationship rather than the other way around. What might be at the root of all this with him? Is he worried about the whole fatherhood thing? Do you remind him of his mum? Has he got problems at work? Problems with money? Does he feel hen-pecked? Any ideas?

There is always the strategy of giving yourself a physical makeover and looking gorgeous and going out and having a jolly time, in the hope that he'll follow along, but I don't know whether he is the type of guy who would get the point of this. DD's father certainyl wasn't. He just wanted a doormat cooking his dinner and giving him blow jobs whilst not costing him anything due to working full time.

Springy I was 11/30 last week but I am 20/30 at the moment.

At least we're not pregnant, eh? [weak smile]

Sorry you've had an especially crappy day. It's clearly not what you needed.

I scored 19, by the way.

I win then. If I was pg I would be terrified and it would probably ruin my hips forever. Plus I would probably be made redundant at some point.

I think we all need a holiday tbh. I will now surf and find us a fantasy villa.

Have posted on your thread btw.

We'll have to put a few tents up in the grounds, but this is a start

Ohhhh, that's so beautiful!

Shall we all just get on flights to visit BB? I mean she did offer...

Yes, or go round Auld's. I was seriously considering that because I am getting cabin fever in Cambridge. I know that's a bit daft because we are a tourist destination and all that, but it's the bloody school run ... I hardly have any time to myself and when I do I am bloody making beds or ironing or doing washing or cleaning up after bloody DD. No clubbing for Boff!! (Actually I have never been clubbing. Is that bad?)

Never?

Ooh, yes. Let's visit Auld. & don't even get me started on cabin fever. I don't think I've even left the flat since last Sunday when I walked Nutty to the tram stop. I'm not even sure why not. I really want to go out, but just can't face it.

A week indoors is seriously bad, Springy. You have to do something about that!

I think the thing that put me off clubbing is that I am rubbish at going to bed late. Also I wouldn't have the first clue what to wear.