Nov 2008: Spain, France, Leeds or Brum, wherever we are we're still mums

[juanitad]

Hope this works! I'm a techno-idiot!!

VBAB hun just logged on quick, hung over, but are you ok? x

Vbab you ok sweetie? What has happened? - If you want to talk that is. x

Basics ... went to a b'day do where 1 of DH oldest mates was with girl friend. I know DH mate a bit over years but no one else. As the night went on DH and the girl friend kept having banter but I could see how he was with her (like he used to be with me) IYSWIM. A couple of times because I couldnt take seeing it I walked off and sat on my own (dont know anyone). DH didnt even look in my direction, ask where I was going or come and try to find me. He was so into her, she was his focus with this banter. At the end of the night at one point I ran to toilet sobbing and some women were asking over cube if I was ok and I said "yes thanks" whilst sobbing and DH finally noticing me outside toilet. Then when I came out of the loo he was asking me what was up (didnt get chance to say) and who came along to go to the loo . She didnt end up going to the loo as the banter continued and I walked away again. DH continued his banter with her, didnt ask me again why i was sobbing and didnt follow me. Could just see his attraction, it hurt. Then about 15mins later DH mate (the boy friend) said what's up. I said "your girlfriend". He said "stop being stupid" and went over to them. Didnt see what was said to them but THEN DH came back to me and I got home as quickly as possible not talking to DH. Now waiting for DH to wake up and dont know what to do or say.

Vbab hugs. I don't know what to say hun as I was not there but if it was one of his eldest friends could it not just have been banter? rightly or wrongly DH should have realised you were feeling hurt. Vbab you are truley a lovely person and look wonderful, I am sure your DH idolises you, sometimes life just gets in the way of us mums and DH's and we don't have as many laughs, sex, time alone as you did pre-kids. Speak to DH when he wakes about how you felt last night. Here if you need to off load. X

coolkat i know what you are saying BUT DH mate is 1 of his eldest mates. DH has met briefly "the girlfriend" once before last night. The banter and constant attention was not with his mate or his wife but a virtual stranger.

vbab try not to read to much into it it might be nothing. I can see why this would bother you though.
However I do think that he has been a complete insensitive git (sorry) and you re well within your rights to be upset about it.
You should be his main concern especially if you are upset regardless of what is upsetting you.
You should mention it to him as it is obvoiusly upsetting you, he needs to know that his actions are causing you to feel this way.
Hope this makes sense, FB me if you want a chat x

I think your DH sounds like he was being a bit of an arse vbab, sorry. Flirting with your mates GF in front of your own is barely acceptable behaviour when you are a teenager, let alone in your 30s and married with children.

Men can be such tossers at times.

Regardless of whether it was friendly banter or a bit of mild flirting, he should have taken more care of you and not left you on your own given that you didn't really know anyone at the do and he knows that you are feeling a bit emotionally raw at the minute.

I hope he is suitably humbled and ashamed of his behaviour this morning.

hugs xx

Vbab, I am sorry but that is totally unacceptable behaviour. But then my dh would not do that, he really isn't like that.
Tegan, glad for you, for the sleepthrough. Long may it continue.
LadyB, oh its so exciting when you get a new car, even if its not new new, as it were. Happy days. Driving along. Space in the back for all the children. And buggy and shopping. Oh happy days. I love driving.
I may be taking a leave of abscence from you lovely ladies. Only joking. I may not be here very much, because I will be on the caravan/camping thread. Yes it is true. We are being given a caravan. Almost given. Our neighbour has been caravaning for 10 years. And now it is too much for them. So they are giving it to us. % berth caravan with awning and tent, for £100. Is worth £1000's.
Has everything. Cutlery, hoover, fridge. In Blandford, Dorset. We went to see it yesterday. Takes 11/4 hrs to get there. Then we went and had fish and chips at Poole Harbour before coming home. What a lovely day.
So holidays in dorset from now on. So happy. Need to get on e-bay and buy some sleeping bags, clip on high chairs etce tc for our new 'lifestyle'
Oh happy days. Am so happy.

Obs you sound FAB. x Good on you, don't forget to invest in a little BBQ. X

Hi ladies
vbab hope your ok, did you manage to talk to your DH?
obs that sounds fab. Not too far away but far enough that it feels like a holiday. I have very fond memories of caravan holidays when I was little.

Hi to everyone

oooh Obs you lucky lady!! All my childhood hols were spent in Poole, caravanning! We used to stay in a caravan site in Organford and go to Branksom-dene-chyne (sp?) beach - which I can lovingly recommend. OOh enjoy,enjoy! Am massively but also thrilled for you of course
vbab Agree with daisy appalling behaviour for a husband I think a mini flirt is fine - bit of banter but to spend evening chatting and neglect you - not on. Having said that I am sure there is no way in the world that he would want to replace a remarkable woman like you, the amazing mother of his beautiful children. The connection you have with him runs much deeper than with this flirtation and am sure he feels very foolish today. If he doesn't apologise/ grovel today though grrrrrrr...

Hello ,Back from beach hols, washing machine going flat out and starting to think about re packing for another escape with Grandparent before going to the Uk - Yipeeee
Have just read back over loads of pages apologies if I forget anybody .... On hols it took ages to load the pages so I couldn't keep up .....
Vbab sorry about your dh being a twat It is pretty insensitive of him even if there is nothing in it - especially as you knew nobody else there.
Daisy saw your pics on FB - I tried minirosa with proper pasta no way she is not interested. She wants to be fed but wants to bounce / play today baby pasta and veg went in her eye and up her nose. She will eat bread/ toast - baby biscuits on her own but anything new I have to hold it to her mouth and then she sometimes catches on .. Anyway we are muddling through. No complete nights though- Monkey. She is on all 4s and toe pointing / bridging but not going forward yet.
Ladybuzz well done on the new car and so when is No3 coming ????
Pinky all better now?
Coolcat - I threw all my heels away as I found they were dust collecting!
B*ger baby awake ....Back later I hope

Hello,
vbab agree with others a small friendly flirt is fine but it sounds like your DH took it too far, he maybe never realised at first but should have noticed you were upset and realised what he was doing, I hope he is being extra nice and humble to you today.

obs that sounds great I would love something like that

rosa Your beach hols sounds great!

ladybuzz Enjoy your new car, when do you get it?

We were out for tea last night with our neighbours who we have been getting more friendly with over the last few months we had a really good laugh and a drink so when we got home was greeted with DD1 and a temp of over 39 I was like typical, anyhoo she is out playing now so cant be that bad its amazing what nurofen for kids does

DH goes away again tomorrow so he is busy packing etc.

obs i think i spoke too soon, last night i woke to here him talking for nearly an hour then he got really annoyed and i had to give a bottle to settle him down again and in between that i was up with dd1 with a very bad sore throat and dd2 who is generally up in the night anyway.

Hello all

vabab Your DH must by now have got the message that he has been judged by the mnet jury to be grossly insensitive at the very least. I hope he has seen the light and is now duly humbled. SHe may also be one of those really irritating women who find happily marrried men v.attractive.

Obs caravan sounds lovely!

Mimi much better and her tummy was rumbling at lunchtime!

Sorry have to dash to make transformer-masks
back later

Sorry for the bizarre- even by my standards- speeling of your name, Vbab!

glad you had a good hol, Rosa

Hi all. DH woke up and acted normal so I didnt say anything and we went and picked up the kids. When back home I asked him to read my post on mumsnet to explain why I was acting "weird". Said that I had to get him to read rather than talking but I always say things wrong but much better writing how I feel. I also get to say all I want. He was furious and said i couldnt be more wrong and this is a stupid idea that i must have had in my head to start with. I admit that I was beyond nervous and critical of my appearance before we went out and 1st hour there (nearly didnt as i felt so down). DH was even more angry that I had put these things on mumsnet and now the bad opinion all you ladies now had of him which was wrong. I then got upset in front of the kids which I dont like and said why am i being told off when i'm the one hurt and that if he thinks this is love then he doesnt love me at all.
DH said the "girlfriend" was actually trying to get him angry and kept going on that she knows things about him (she went out with another friend of DH he thinks but not sure). That DH had just about had enough of her and just about to tell her what he thought of her.
After we had both said our piece and had time out DH said he does love me more than anything and he is sorry for leaving on occassion on my own especially as I dont know anyone. We have been ok since.

Oh vbab so sorry that you had such an awful night, from confidence crisis to DH being cornered and flirting.

My DH is such an awful flirt. In that he does it as often as possible! I only don't mind cos I know he was absolutely rubbish at it before he met me and he is only any good cos he knows it would never go anywhere cos he has the best lady at home. It makes him more confident to do it safely. IYSWIM
IMO, and only cos DH is the way he is, words cannot hurt.
In saying that, he is also awful for getting so tied up with his chatting, either male or female, that I can be left in the lurch too.
It happened recently when we went away for a night.
Stupidly I agreed to going with him to meet up with his car club.
What an awful evening!
I ended up going up to the hotel room in tears too, cos DH hadn't spoken to me in so long. He didn't even notice I was missing for an age!
I tried to speak to him but got pulled into another convo about cars DH thought I was doing ok, enjoying my convo, so left me. But really I was just smiling politely and desperately trying to get out of it so I could get to DH. By the time I did, DH had disappeared to go look at the cars. In the dark!
I hid in loos, too, for a bit. Then just took off to bed.

Evening all

Vbab sorry you had such a sh*t night last night Even with your Dh's explanation, I still wouldn't be happy with his behaviour - even if it was just to leave you to your own devices when you were obviously unhappy.

Pinky glad Mimi is on the mend again - a rumbling tummy is always a good sign

obs the caravan sounds ace - it is an ideal drive away really isn't it and it is such a lovely part of the country - am very Hey you can get that bikini out again

Bad parent alert today - went to a park with my sis and her kids today and stopped at a cafe to have a drink. I had a banana milkshake and I admit, after Sam had finished his milk, I put a little bit of my milkshake in his bottle Is that really bad??

Ceebee and you think your a true mumsnetter Bet he enjoyed it though!!

Going for an early night, DH snoring on sofa as we went out last night and we need to be on the ball tomorrow as my car is going to the garage!

Hoping for good sleep for everyone!

Oh, I forgot to say.
I am on my own for the next 4 days! and [scared emoticon]
DH has had to go all the way to Newcastle for a course.
I keep expecting him in from having a wee pinty any minute now, but of course, it is not going to happen.

I stayed at my mums pretty much all day today. I didn't intend to, until I found out she was doing a roast beef for dinner.
hmm, roast beef or leftover pasta dish.
No contest really
Not going anywhere tomorrow, going to try to fly solo.
So you will no doubt be peeling me off the ceiling by the time dinner time comes around!

ceebee lol at the milkshake bet sam loved it!!
twinks you are not on your own with that my DH goes away for a month tomorrow so will join you on the ceiling lol my DD1 always plays up the first few days!!

I am only on 4 days, I cannot imagine it being a month!

DH has a job interview at the end of July. If he gets it, it could mean that this will be a regular occurance and that we may have to move from up here, in the far north, to somewhere more central belt
Frightened but also really want DH to get the job cos he would love it and I would be frightened that if he had not applied or now go for the interview that he will regret it and feel stuck in his current job.
Oh well, anyway, no point in worring until the interview and then only if he gets offered it, then he will have lots of things to ask and we will have lots to think about.

You get used to it in someways but my heart breaks everytime he goes, but what can you do! On the plus side my house will be tidier and I will get caught up with friends etc! Where is your DH interview twinks?

Have I missed everyone?

vbab, I'm glad you and DH have talked and that he has been able to explain what was happening. I'm also hoping I never meet him now he has read my earlier post

Obs, that's fantastic about the caravan!! Is it already parked up on a site? Do you have extra site fees and stuff to pay, or is that it? And are you going to hire it out to friends? . I love caravans; we always had a caravan holiday when I was little, and I would love a tourer, but DH is very against it. He is quite wide built and feels all squashed and squeezed and like a giant in 3/4 size land. Me, at 5'2; well I'm at home in lilliput land really. Mind you he is happy to squeeze himself into a one man tent that is two feet high at the most in the name of fresh air and exercise so why not a caravan?

ceebee, you BAD mother

twinkling, the central belt isn't so bad really, and at least you'd be able to do meet ups with ellie, chocgal and sparkles . Seriously though, I hope things work out. I know all too well what it's like to be away from family and to move to the bright lights after a relatively quiet existence.

ellie, I hope things are OK once DH is away. It must be really hard for you on your own for that length of time. When my DH was working away at least he was home for weekends and used to work from home quite a bit as well.

I've been listing nappies all night, but have decided to hang onto my remaining bumble sized cloth for a wee while yet! In fact he has been in cloth all day today, and sitting in the garden in a tshirt and nappy.....love it!!

We had a friend over today with her DS who is in DS1's class at school and had a BBQ. thankfully the weather improved from the cool murk of this morning. Poor DD felt a bit out of things though and was desperate to join in the games but just couldn't keep up with two seven year old boys.

Oh, and monumentous news.......we have a tooth!!! and I have been bitten for the first (but no doubt not the last) time feeding bumble some strawberries.

Sorry for the epic!!!