Nov 2008: Spain, France, Leeds or Brum, wherever we are we're still mums

[juanitad]

Hope this works! I'm a techno-idiot!!

twinkling sorry lovely really dont know what to suggest. But always here for you if you need to vent.
lacks - that email is so funny . I would love to down tools for a week to demonstrate "what i do" but completely against my nature. The chaos and mess would drive me mad. I'm sure DH knows this too!

DH interview went fab and the 10 min training presentation was great especially as he hasnt done training for 2 years. Thinks the best interview he has EVER done. If he didnt get a job offer i think it would down to wages or someone else with training qualifications that are recent not 2 years old.
DS bday - Had a fab day except for a wobble due to DS behaviour this AM when in front of my mum I told DS "i am done with him" . DS was being pretty bad and I felt like all my effort for his b'day wasnt appreciated. But I shouldnt have said it. Hate myself. But after crying on my own a little over it we got on with the day. Went to Twycross Zoo which was lovely. Got stuck in traffic coming home and took 2hrs rather than 1hr to get home. When home got DS monkey cake with candles out . THEN took the kids at past 7pm to pet shop to get DS b'day fish. MISTAKE as the delivery came late today so they wont sell the fish until tomorrow. We told DS the fish were poorly so we cant buy them today but come back tomorrow. DS believed us but felt bad. So we are going tomorrow. DS got way too many BIG toys as presents. Lord knows what will happen at x-mas.

Night, night. Exhausted so must sleep.

Does he prefer sleeping in his bouncy chair, or maybe even a slign made into a hammock? That's the sort of place DD1 liked sleepiong in the most.

Glad the birthday went well, vbab! But don't be hard on yourself, lovey.

oh thank you pinky, but he does sleep in his cot, for the 2.5 and for his snoozes.
He really sleeps best there, I think.
I was all for slinging him from get go, but with him struggling so badly with the hernias all night long (at that point 2hrs shouting, 2 hours sleeping), I just never got into the habit of it, wanting my freedom more.
Now he is a heavy thing so very rarely sling. Though love my ticotti at the moment for quick trips

My point I don't know if there is anywhere else he would sleep for any longer?

oh no vbab I wouldn't worry either. Maybe you were trying too hard what with your mum being there to add stress to your wee stress head
DS won't even remember it and everyone gets stressed trying to organise a day out. On top of stressing for DH too, cos I bet you were stressing on his behalf too

Golly, how many times did I just say stressed!?

vbab, I tell the room at least twice a day that I wish I had never bloody well had children! don't beat yourself up. As long as you expalin that mummy said those things because she was angry and reassure him that you love him, then all will be well.

twinling, you rant on and be miserable. We're here for you in mind if not in body and I for one am gutted that you are going through this, especially after all the high drama of your pregnancy as well.

Are you OK? Has your HV anything useful to add? or maybe a visit to the GP.

Just a thought that may be off beam, or ruled out already, but he doesn't have silent reflux does he? It may be one explanation for the poor sleeping and him wanting to be held all the time.

Hmm, I would say that he could tick a few of those boxes, DH disagrees, but then he is not with him everyday.
Perhaps it could explain his shouts an hour or so after yoghurt in the mornings??

Perhaps I should talk to someone.
He has an appointment with the peadiatriction(sp?) on July 1st I think i will start to make some notes so that I won't be fobbed off.
That is how I feel I will be with the HV, lovely though she is. She just kept saying that J was just a shouty baby, when in fact he had a bloomin great hernia in his groin that she just never spotted.
I just seem to be met with the smile, that all neurotic mothers get, whenever I cry for help

twinkling, awful that your HV has you labelled as neurotic . Surely as the mum of a preterm baby who had a difficult, high risk pregnancy they should treat any of your concerns very seriously?

I hope your appointment with the paediatrician yields some answers. Is there perhaps some food intolerance thing going on, like dairy?

Oh, and happy birthday for tomorrow Twinkling, incase I don't get on

Lurking, need sleep, but twinkling just a quick thought. It's not a short term sleep solution, sorry, but if you have an appointment on July 1st, how about keeping a diary for the next couple of weeks, on his eating, drinking, sleeping, shouting etc. Write it all down. There's nothing more gutting than building yourself up to this kind of appointment only for them to say "ah, well keep a diary for a while and then we'll see you again in a few months". Not that they will necessarily say that in this case, but it has happened to me!!!

gotta go, gotta sleep x

fantastic idea fudge

My thoughts absolutely fudge!
Cos that is what they would do if I didn't have some sort of evidence, that coupled with my crap memory, I would just be sent away to think or............I dunno, I would just be sent away without any concrete help really.

I think he self settled last night though, at 1030. He didn't demand a feed until 12 anyway. Then 230 and, always 450 ([hm] eh, 450, but it is dead on!) Then 647, honestly thats about 3 days that he has woken then!

So thats 3 feeds and up at 647.
I think things are improving? But it is still a 2hourly routine?

Now I do feel neurotic

Small steps Twinks, do u feel a bit more like it was all a bit less uncontrollable/constant?

I think that with me, it is the feeling of it all going to shit and I don't know why and can't get a handle on the situ that makes it worse..

I was up 3 times last night and up for good at 7ish BUT both Tinytoes and DS1 went back to their beds in the night which is a massive improvement AND they didn't wake each other in process, so it didn't feel like an endless rollercoaster of being woken up.. So anyway it just feels like there is some order in the chaos now.

The Diary idea is definately a good one, it saves you time explaining it on the day and shows the docs you are serious about getting an improvement no "um er I think he is up every hour etc... and more look this has been the routine for the last x weeks..). You may even see a pattern or something that helps you get to the bottom of it all.

Morning to everyone and thanks for your thoughts on my situation and just thanks for listening!

Agree with Fudge, arm yourself with evidence and then thye will be stumped, to disagree with facts and figures, times and dates.
All Hv's I have ever met are totally useless. Nice, caring but utterly pointless.

twinks anyone with that amount of sleep deprivation is bound to feel a bit neurotic and out of control of the situation! We're here for you lovely

Another thought on the situation.....he isn't cold is he? when bumble's sleeping was really bad, I went back to his 2.5tog bag and a sleepsuit and he improved instantly.....just a thought.

bumble had one of his best nights ever last night and went from 7ish till 4.30 . He fed and went back to sleep till 6.45. He has done the odd good night before though so I'm not flattering myself that this is the start of a new pattern.

We just need to work on getting Dd to go to sleep now and life will be better.

I cancelled meeting up with juanita and another friend at a new baby group this morning as I have a ton of things to do for the school fair tomorrow and some shoes to take back that run out of the 28 day return period on Sunday, so came home from school rather than going straight to baby group. bumble demanded a feed and promptly conked out and he is still sleeping and I'm stuck in the house waiting for him to wake . We could have been at the baby group at this rate.

Glad you had a better night, Sparkles. I can totally sympathise with your situation. Most nights I am fine,but there's always the odd nigth in the week where all three DC wake up at some point,often one after another- net result I get about 2 hours sleep.

tWINKS FUDGE's diary idea sounds a good one. Silent reflux- not sure. That was reason I was asking if he prefered sleeping in chair etc. DD1's crib was very propped up at one end. SHe would have tiny naps in the day at this time and lots of short 'snack' feeds.

How was your night, Daisy?

ah x-posts there Daisy. I am a mean mummy - I would pick him up and put him in the sling or buggy and go!

Mimi is asleep upstairs too. It's bright outside but still looks stormy to me. We're playdoh-ing this morning.

Thanks Pinky yes you are so right it is very off on here too but I am trying to relax a bit about the fact Tinytoes is now 7 months and still hasn't slept thru or anything like..

Def having more than one child hasn't helped and it is the sheer constant-ness of having the 2 of them I have found most difficult for me (one stops the other starts etc). Also the guilt of being grumpy with a toddler who after all never asked for a sibling in the first place!!

I know that there will be others in far worse position (lets face it in any situ there always is) but when things get hard it is difficult to think logically yes?!! Kids eh its a rollercoaster...

I would put them down and run too!

AH playdoh my DS1 loves all that... I really should sort out a space downstairs for him to draw and be creative whenever he wants.. all my friends have lovely neat and tidy houses with such areas dedicated for the little ones. Is it just me who has spent the last 2 years in my house constantly furniture shuffling to try to get it right???????? Sleep obv has been my priority over the house recently!

Twinks agree that the diary sounds like an ace idea - get it down in black and white and you might see a pattern and the evidence is there for the doc aswell - silent reflux seems like a possibility tbh.

Daisy yay for Bumble sleeping well but maybe not so this morning

Pinky DS1 loves playdoh (well we use the Soft Stuff from ELC) aswell although we always have to make Thomas - although I did impress myself a few weeks ago by making a plate with sausages, smiley face potatos, peas and spaghetti - complete with a knife, fork and cup - I never realised I was so creative!!

Sparks glad your night was better - even though my 2 are good sleepers, I can't remember a night where we have not been disturbed by at least one of them (even if it is just the Hamster moaning in his sleep) Last night, DS1 was a nightmare and got up at about 1am and refused to go back to bed (at least at bedtime when he does this, I can shut the stairgate on him and go downstairs but that isn't possible in the middle of the night) - in the end I just shouted at him, he tantrummed a bit and then toddled off back to bed - maybe shouting is the way to go

Vbab glad your DS's birthday was good (apart from the blip). I swear these 3 year olds are designed to push us to our limits so no need to feel guilty!

Bit of an essay there - oops!

Playdoh well we've made a bed and a cave and blankets for makka pakka (pencil topper)

Bedroom set (as above) for large plastic stag beetle

A rocket with space monkey, moon craters and tea set I made the teapot

We also made a volcano with lava that completely buried the small plastic stegosaurus.

Quite a busy morning!

Mimi quite cheesed off today- teeeth I think- she's very dribbly.

Pinky ok ok you win - your creativity far outweighs my 'plate of food'

lol Ceebee I can take no credit for this- it is al DD1, and i was only following orders making the teapot!

Haha yeah Ceebs the few nights (can count them on one hand) that Tiny has slept well, I have ended up either panicking cos he wasn't up or being woken by the house creaking - and thinking it is DS1 up. Grr.

We have also gone through a phase of DS1 getting up and refusing to go back to bed (a recent spell of this on Mon night)... Once we did end up losing it with him and shouting and he did go back to bed BUT it isn't the way to go IMO... The tried and tested method of putting them back and saying 'its bedtime' first time then nothing all other times was the only real way of cracking this for us.

Tempting as it was to lose it and shout, we found that he kept getting up the next night etc... I THINK it is because we were interacting with them so he maybe thought there was a chance we'd give in the next time...???!! Negative attention and all that. We did end up putting him back LOADS of times but the next night... nothing. Just thought I'd share that with you as it may save you a lot of trouble?? Anyway it is up to you of course!

How old is your DD1 now Pinky? I think my DS may be getting to that stage too he loves drawing and if you draw things for him. I think making things out of playdoh would be right up his street too... possible 3rd birthday present me thinks...

Oh yes, I think so! DD1 is 2.5, and has only really stopped eating it in the last few months.

miMI has had a temperature this afternoon, have given her some calpol but she's not happy, and really really dribbly. Poor sausage. SHe's normally so happy and content it really shows when she's poorly

Thanks pinky i would love dh to do nice things for me but he works nights nad leaves at 4pm everyday to go to work so i have to do bedtime alone every night.

DD2 is still poorly and is fast asleep on the sofa which is really unusual for her. She is supposed to be sleeping at my mums tonight but i think she should stay home.