May 2009 - loved-up new mums and/or sleep-deprived zombies this way please

[pulapula]

Here's a nice new thread for us to share our experiences with our new LOs.

A question to those of you going to playgroups etc- how old was your LO when you started going? S is 10 days old now- i keep thinking of going out to groups, but is he too young? Does he still have some immunity from me or is he likely to pick up bugs etc? You'd think he was my PFB lol.

Ouch- just got my letdown for the first time when not feeding and didn't have both breastpads in so now have a wet circle on one boob- hate it when that happens- good job i'm at home.

pula, guess i never thought about picking up bugs esp since dd2 has been sneezing on her ever since birth. Harper is 13 days old today at her 1st playgroup.

leaking, i hate when that happens and no matter how prepared i am, i always manage to put the breastpad in just a little too far to the side and leakage occurs .

I don't leak either. I guess my mahoosive norks are rather effective storage vessels.

The HV has been and gone. DS2 has gained a pound in 2 weeks so I'm happy. She did spot that he is tongue tied which hasn't impacted upon his feeding but needs an eye kept on it in case that changes. For an hour today both boys were asleep and life was good!

I'm feeling a bit sleepy today. Thankfully DH will be home for bed and bath time so I'll get a break this evening. Sadly next week he will be out early so I'll have to get up with DS1 at 5am...eek!

I don't leak - except at NCT coffee mornings or otherwise out in public. Bizarre - and very annoying as I never have a breast pad in at the time, even though I have 2 boxes of them in the cupboard. Last night H came off the boob rather suddenly I saw my milk spray right across the bed - nice!

HV has just been and gone here too. H is now 9lb 2oz and gaining well. That's my last HV home visit, I'll be going to the clinic from now on. She gave me info about dental care and explained about when they give info on weaning.... made me realise how fast it's all going

My night out (cinema trip) without H went ok, though I wished I could have slept through the film. I did really miss him & it felt very strange to think of him 'doing things' (as DH said) without me. However, it seemed H had had a whale of a time, being cuddled all evening, fed EBM and sung silly songs by my Dad. He did look vaguely pleased to see me though. Unfortunately they're going away for 6 weeks soon and we don't have any other eligible babysitters so our next trip out will have to wait.

Hi - just come to say hi and join i the thread now baby h is here. Posted my birth story on A/N thread if you want a read. Will pop back later - H needs more boob now!
x

frazzled- your birth story is lovely and very amusing although it must have been very stressful with DH away playing golf when you needed him. So lovely to hear that your third and final birth experience was the best.

Momino- my DS1 is full of cold and not passed anything on to DS2 so sure it'll be OK to take him out and about. I think i might try the NCT bumps and babies next Tuesday- I think its the only playgroup which meets during school holidays so my only option next week. It also means DD and DS1 are in nursery so i don't have to watch them as well. I am actually a bit nervous about taking S out since the only 2 times he's been out he has cried - he cried in the car all the way back from the hospital (I thought the motion would calm him!) and cried when we went on our first family walk yesterday in the P&T- again, I thought the rocking motion of the cocoon would be calming ). However, i guess if he cries, then i know i can just feed him to keep him quiet and calm

Spangle- I am very impressed that you managed a cinema trip out without H. You are a really positive role model for me, as you show me what is possible in a month or so's time (I couldn't imagine leaving S at the moment as he hasn't had a bottle yet etc). I will decide in a couple of weeks whether to go down the expressing or occassional FF route as i think its good if they can take a bottle off someone else).

Hi everyone and especially frazz, good to see you on here for a change.

C is bf at the mo, so I'm multi tasking here . C has been really good the last 2 days. Dhe's finally started taking longer feeds and now lasts longer between feeds. She even did 4h today! She does still cluster feed in the evenings though, but I dont mind, 'cause it's usually followed by a good night and she's not even 2 weeks old yet, so I can't ask for any better than I'm getting I think.

pula Luckily for us driving/walking helps to send C to sleep. However, usually she wakes up the moment you stop walking and then screams, usually that means I have to feed her, but sometimes feeding doesn't solve the screaming and it's tiredness, which is sort of funny, because she was asleep while moving and then wakes and cries because she wants to sleep .

leaking I never leaked with ds, leaked with dd1 and don't seem to be leaking this time around Got a bit of a weird body I think.

evenings out Spangle, it's feels funny leaving baby alone for the 1st time, doesn't it. At the moment it feels like C is still attached to me as I'm always carrying her around or feeding her. So I can't imagine leaving her behind, but having to older dcs I know it's possible . We don't actually have any babysitters available, so I haven't made up my mind yet whether I'll bother trying to get C to take a bottle or not. Dd1 never did, despite my best efforts to get her to take one and we managed fine, so I might give it a miss this time. Especially as C will be a lot older than dd1 when I go back to work + I'll only be part time too.

blotted I was wondering: how is your pelvis now you've given birth?

food My appetite seems to have gone down since I've given birth. Hopefully that'll mean that I'll lose weight quickly On the other hand I've developed a sweet tooth, so most of the things I eat are chocolaty or sugary.

Lol, I was just thinking that I'm sure C would love to be able to sit with us at the table at dinner time. She's always on my lap when we eat, happily sitting and watching us eat. If I dare put her in her pram, she makes lots of noise! Bet she wishes she could already sit up in a high chair

Belgian It's still pretty bad to be honest, I'm finding it a massive adjustment having my weight distribution changed so drastically

hi all. just had a hot bath with tea tree oil (ro soothe piles) which was lovely. waiting for supper now which was made by a good friend and holding Harper who was having trouble settling and needed a cuddle. don't think anything (eg colic) is wrong as she stopped as soon as i picked her up. bless.

bleeding question - it's been 3 weeks since birth and i had a minor tear with a couple of stitches. lochia seems to have slowed to a trickle, mainly brownish (sorry, tmi). but just before my bath, on the pad were two bright red spots of bleeding on the outer sides of the pad (so corresponded to where i tore maybe?). I have no pain, it's not a huge amount of bleeding, haven't done anything strenuous today, should i be worried or see gp? thought i'd see if it continues to tomorrow.

blotted I was wondering, because mine is taking a while to go too. It's finally getting a bit better, but it's nowhere near gone. The pram has taken over from the crutches now and I'm still wearing the support belt, which still helps, though I'll need a smaller size soon . Nights are especially bad. I saw the osteo yesterday who found a number of things wrong with me that explained why it got as bad as it has. Have you seen anyone yet?

Momino Your stitches should have healed by now, so it's unlikely to come from here. Lochia can stop and start for a good few weeks though. If I were you I'd keep an eye on it if it's only a little blood. if it gets any worse get in touch with your gp or the hospital.

Morning

DS is 2 weeks today!!

Momino - my bleeding was negligible since Tues so just used liner yesterday. Sod's law, it came back with avengance. Won't try that again in a hurry!

Off to a wedding this afternoon. Hope this wonderful sunshine stays around for it

Had a good day with friends yesterday too. Their 3.7yr old DD was v cute with DS. In the afternoon we all went into town and registered DS birth, went for coffee and pudding at Cafe Rouge and then to the park.

Warning - me, me, me post coming up!

Feeling a bit this morning for a couple of related reasons. First off, the other day I was talking to my step-mum about how DH was coping with the changes in our lives (not too bad, I thought) and whether he might be feeling out/neglected. She ended up telling me about how that happened with step-sis's father and that my Dad had apparently started looking elsewhere when me & my brother were small (my Dad has a history of affairs, tho he & my mum were together 25y before they split). All very & depressing to think new mums should have to worry about.... my step-mum is a bit contradictory on these matters anyway as she's very much a feminist politically but personally she has a 'do whatever it takes to please your man' attitude. But anyway, I saw it as a timely prompt to think about how DH is feeling and take a bit more of an interest in him (the other day I pointed out that virtually all the birthday presents he bought me were 'mum' things - childcare books, photo album, children's songs CD - and he said quite genuinely 'Well I thought that's what you wanted as it's all you've been interested in for ages').

So I've been trying to be bright & chirpy and not talk about the content of H's nappies too much (!) Then when H woke early this morning (6.30ish) I asked if DH'd mind doing his nappy since H was snuffly all night & kept me awake, so I could hopefully doze off after bf-ing. He did, slightly grudgingly... then while feeding H did a massive poo, and DH very grudgingly offered to change him again, going on about not being worth going back to sleep etc ( try being me I thought). As he was bringing H back he brought up a big lot of milk all over DH's hand and the top of the moses basket, soft toys. DH really lost patience then & practically shoved H into his basket & roughly tucked the covers in - as if H was going to go to sleep as he was wide awake! Obviously when I say rough, it's relatively speaking, not enough to harm H in any way whatsoever, but enough to communicate his frustration as H started crying

So things have been strained this morning in the Spangle household. I'm wondering if he does have some issues but it's hard to tell as like most blokes he's not inclined to talk openly about it.

Sorry for going on and bringing the mood down but I feel the need to vent!

Oh Spangle you poor thing, your step mum has not helped one little bit! Have you tried talking to your dh about things? Having a baby is one of the most stressful things for a relationship, it does change the dynamics of a relationship, but I think its important to keep communication open. Hope this makes sense and I'm not waffling. Trying to work out what ds1 is doing next door and typing 1 handed!!

spangle- these early weeks are hard for both parents. Maybe try and start a conversation about it when you are both not too tired/cranky (not easy to choose the best time!). My DH snapped at me the other day about always tidying up after me which led to hormonal floods of tears and he knew it would, so he apologised and said he was just fed up as he'd spent 3 hours the previous night tidying. It's good to make the other half aware of what you have been doing (night feeds etc- i always tell DH what kind of night i've had as he's in the spare room). Sounds like your DH was tired and grumpy, but if it becomes a regular thing then you need to say something.

By the way I was just looking on the ASDA direct website and they have some good offers on at the moment- closer to nature breast pumps reduced from 24.99 to 10 pounds, closer to nature microwave steam sterilisers down from 20 to 10, bouncy chairs 15 pounds, stair gates 15 pounds and so on. theres also free delivery this weekend on orders over 30 quid.

My dh is the most placid person you could meet - I don't think I'll forget the 1st time he snapped at me after ds1 was born! It wasn't malicious - he was just tired.

spangle Sorry to hear that things are a bit strained at home. I think best thing to do is just to talk to your dh and ask him what's on his mind. It's really easy, but natural to get totally focussed on baby in the early weeks and to 'forget' about the others in the household, but that does pass.

I saw on the a/n thread that fi has had a good experience this time around. We'll see her on here soon

DH wants me to go to this baby massage taster session today. I'd love to, but at the same time I've got lots of things to do in the house to get it presentable for tomorrow when my sil and dh's cousin come to visit + I want to make some space in the living room to keep baby things, you know the play mat, bouncy chair, etc... I'm not sure yet what I'll do as it's already 11.30 and I haven't done a thing yet.

whoops. Just checked the details of that baby massage taster session and it's just about to finish . I've only just got ready, what were they thinking organising something for new mums that early in the day !

Thanks guys

It's probably just tiredness getting to him - he said he's been feeling tired, understandable as H is in with us, though DH is a heavy sleeper and often doesn't wake up when I do. TBH there is probably a moment of realisation for all parents that you're not going to get a 'break' for, ooh about 18 years I remember in hospital on the first night after H was born the mw told me she'd come to check on us when H was due a feed at 1.30am and for a moment I thought, 'Hang on a minute, I hardly slept last night, today I GAVE BIRTH, and you are telling me I have to get up in the night??!' then it hit me, 'Oh yes, I do, and will have to do so every night for the next x months/(hopefully not) years'. I know, it sounds silly, you'd think I'd have thought about that beforehand!!

I wish I could talk to him about it, and I'm going to try, but he's one of those people who cannot tolerate conflict in any way, shape or form so he flatly refuses to talk about his feelings if they might provoke a negative reaction from me.

spangle my DH is a bit like that. If I can tell there's something the matter and I ask about it he always replies with: 'nothing' or 'I'm fine'. Sometimes it comes out a few moments later, sometimes he just carries on brooding, but in a way I think it's important to just let him know that I can tell something is bothering him, even if he doesn't want to elaborate on it, as at least then he knows I know something is wrong and he can tell me if he wants, IYKWIM. Hope the mood in your house will clear up a little soon, so you can enjoy today, now we've got a bit of nice weather for a change

Right, I really need to go and do something useful now. I've just put a few more pics on f/b as my mum had been nagging me for more pics of baby C and sharing via f/b is the easiest way I find.

spangle, hope things are better soon. the first 6 weeks are the hardest. i agree with others about how tiredness affects both parents. if you can, try to talk with DH honestly about it. my DH is very laid back (normally) like daizy's but he can get snappy at me when we've had one of Those Nights.

Ses, so glad you had a good time with your friends. am still so amazed we have mutual friends! Obviously, if you're ever up visiting in York, do let me know as I'd love to see you .

bleeding has slowed today, thankfully, but is now coming from the back end . not much and bright so suspect piles which are really, really bothering me lately (like a lot of you as well). i'll bring up to GP at 6 week check if still bothering me.

on that lovely subject, i'm going to get showered and dressed.

Well, I've vacuumed the living room, moved all furniture. Removed cushions from sofa. Still no phone. Tried ringing it and it's my voice mail. I really think I've lost it Last time I had it was in the house, so it's got to be here somewhere

momino Could be piles. If they continue to bother you I'd see the GP earlier though. You'll feel so much better with some decent creams to apply