June 2008: the One Show (almost)

[Essie3]

Whinegums -chocolate with books - what a good idea

Deb, you are so not a regular SAHM so don't feel guilty! I refuse to do any housework when I am home alone with the DTs (unless we have people coming then I am forced to do it). I just have not got the energy to get the vacuum/duster etc out even when they are having their nap which is two hours every day without fail! So do not feel bad that you feel the need to put Ethan with a CM for a couple of mornings. You deserve it!

lol at making up for my week off! E has stayed asleep so I think it is clear that the bum has been the problem. Poor little thing. Reading up on it it could be a bacterial infection but it will prob clear up after a week in sposies, and yeah I will keep using the metanium for T. It has always worked for us in the past. I have just washed some nappies and used the tiniest amount of Persil and no Napison and done them on 60C so hopefully that will give them a good clean.

Ooh, thanks Deb - I'm really keen on 5 (which is the same as 7, I think), and also something along the lines of 18 but for very thin and limp hair!

Whinegums ooh, yes, should have posted back on my thread, but I didn't go for any of them . We went for the cheaper version, but, I hope, still stylish and hopefully we can carry it off...this one but it looks a bit crap on the screen. It's a sort of shiny white flowery thing on a white background. In fact, the description sounds crap... it's Graham and Brown. There were some absolutely gorgeous Osborne and Little ones but DH insisted he wanted 'plain'. That would be paint, then...

Abdn, Poppy sorry you're tired - it's hard work...I'm struggling with the whole 'no letup' thing, IYKWIM. I'm tired, and so I go to bed early. But I just know that 1 late night will make no difference, it's still a 6am start. (Also a bit annoyed about the 6am starts - this is a new thing but it's been going on for 2 weeks now...) Hence not much posting.

I've been finding this week hell - Tim has been in Cardiff, and will be there next week too. Thing is, he's really excited about his new judging thing, but I'm getting a bit sort of resentful and annoyed about it, because it's all great for him because...I make it possible! I'm embarrassed typing it, really, and I'm not that arrogant, it's just that he's doing this with no strings IYKWIM when I have Iestyn, who is lovely, but hard work and an extra thing for me to balance.
Hm, that sounds a bit crap. Off to bed...

Deb I second Neenz. Neenz isn't Napisan quite harsh? I don't use anything other than washing powder on mine. But Iestyn appears to have inherited skin from my me and my mother's line - robust, and stretchy, nothing irritates it! (Mum= 3 kids not a single stretch mark.)

Neenz, your poor DTs . Can't offer any advice, other than what has already been offered, e.g. washing powder, etc. We're so lucky as A seems not to suffer from nappy rash at all [sponge sincerely hopes she hasn't jinxed her poor boy by saying that !].

Good luck with the CM and Yay for your period!

Deb, if you ever want to get rid of any more chocolate then I will willing sacrifice my figure for you ! On the subject of E going to a CM, you have so much to do in terms of running your business, so don't be hard on yourself. You do an amazing job with 3 kids and all the other work you have, give yourself a break - you deserve it .

Rolf, you did make me laugh about protecting DS from horrible women - can totally relate and mine is only 11 mths!

I do have some ideas for names for Bill but I have a feeling that a few of my RL friends read my posts and I'm trying to keep them to myself at the mo - in fact I haven't even shared them with dh!

Essie, can't help on the hair - mine is completely untameable! Would love to have short funky cut, but fear it would just become a ball of frizz!

poppy, the acupuncture has been a revelation. I have gone from struggling to walk and using crutches to being virtually pain free! Incredible!

AH, bullying, god that's awful. Luckily my manager is being as nice as pie to me as she knows it's one short step from grievance to constructuve dismissal and don't think she wants to face that .

whinegums, I'm itrigued by the fitflops - never heard of them! What are they, how do they work and can I wear them when I'm pregnant?!

Yes, bump's nickname is Bill - A's nickname was Splodge cos that's what he looked like on our first scan when he was a 3 day old embryo. We found out later that Splodge was an Australian cartoon character, a kangaroo, and he had a trusty koala sidekick called . . . Bill! I actually have a knitting pattern to knit Bill and Splodge which will be my next project when I finish Pudsey!

Blinky Bill and Friends

I really must get hold of some books for the kids actually - think they'd love to read books based on their nicknames!

Ooops, x-posted with loads of people! This thread has gone from being dead to being so fast I can't keep up!

Essie, don't think you're being silly at all re: resenting Tim, I would imagine there are many women in your position. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Thank you everyone

Puree - if you're lurking due to no time, hope you have a great weekend and the weather is good. When is C's actual Birthday?

Happy 11th months to Luke, Thea and Alex !

It's also our 16th year anniversary today (16 yrs of being together) so we're going out for a lovely meal tonight - hurrah!

Have a good day everyone x

Sponge. Sorry things are so bad at work. Is it worth getting anything on the record with them in case it does come to a constructive dismissal? They know you're pregnant, right? Must be so distressing for you.

deb agree with everyone else. You have loads on your plate

Essie I know what you mean. When DH announces that he's off to London that afternoon I wonder if he realises how hard it would be if I was working. Last night he made some arsy comment about missing the way I used to be when I had a job and an existence outside the home . Soooo good for morale... I know I'm very lucky blah blah and that I am choosing to be at home but that doesn't mean that there are days when I really wish I still had a job/brain/waist.

Deb - I am amazed you have lasted this long. Don't be hard on yourself, the difference when Seb started 2 mornings was big and now he is 5 mornings I have time to do things (like the huge pile of ironing)

Deb glad five posted - I didn't want to name you, five, but I know you have childcare, and I have no idea how anyone could cope with running a business and children with no childcare. I don't know about others, but I really, really struggle to do housework when Iestyn is around. It's so hard.
Rolf glad I'm not the only one feeling this way although I can't quite put my finger on what it is. (Jealousy? Resentment? General miserableness?) I don't think it's the working thing either (I work) but the fact that if he had a child to look after as well as doing his job, he would not be able to do the job he does. No way. Your DH has the same job so same situation!

Sponge you're aware of abebooks where you can get any secondhand book in the entire world? (For a price!) Books are my thing. Especially old and secondhand ones, that have a special dusty smell. Mmmmm! (Sybil aren't you a librarian? Archivist? Books or IT? Must tell you an anecdote about my friend's attempt to be a librarian!)

GOT to do some work, because Iestyn is having an extra day at nursery today and we all have a family funeral.

Deb the others are right, it is impossible to look after a child fulltime and run a business. i find it impossible to look after a baby and run a house so I have no idea how you have managed all this time.

Essie - I am in a similar situation re dh's work. He often works through the night, or goes away for days at a time with only a few hours notice. Without me he would not be able to do his job. No childcare provider in the world would be responsible for 3 kids 24/7 while he wined and dined clients in america for example. Although the situation allows me to be a sahm, it also forces me to be a sahm, iyswim, and that does bug me sometimes.

Neenz poor little bums in your house! I would try to wash with an allergenic powder on as high a wash as possible. Ds1's excema means we have to wash his pj's, bedlinen and towels at 70 degrees. Hope it gets better soon.

Whinegums will we be seeing a before/after photo of your bum? the fitflops sound fabulous!

AH - is work any better or are you still thinking of leaving? Your hair sounds like mine. It isn't thick but madly curly and it always looks exactly the same after I see the hairdresser no matter what dreams I went in with. i have pretty much given up with it now, I just hope I haven't cursed dd with it.

Sponge 16 +5 is great! 20 weeks and that scan will be here before you know it. Are planning to find out the sex?

waves to Rolf, Five Poppy and Amber, and anyone else I missed!

Oops, Whinegums there should have been a with that 'seeing photos of your bum bit' - otherwise it sounds a bit pervy and voyeuristic! Not that is isn't lovely I'm sure!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, see, now I think I am just digging an even bigger hole and am just going to walk away blushing -

(aimed at SV)

Ha ha Sybil, my bum is far from lovely! You've made me smile today.

Hi all,

Neenz - your little un's bums - poor things - Luke has never cried so much as when he's had nappy rash. He has a weird rash at the mo on his penis and testicles and I have tried everything but I think he'll have to have a doc's appointment. His testicles have gone all leathery!

Sponge - thanks for the birthday wishes happy birthday to the other 11 month olds too! One month to go until theya re one - cannot believe it! Thanks for all the nice comments on Luke's new piccies onfacebook as well. he is a little beaut even if I say so myself (clearly biased!)!

Much as I have been trying to keep quiet as I don't want to upset anyone, I will just say that I am going to France for Gina's little twins' (Martin and Nicholas) funeral on Monday.

PS Essie - you can create the illusion of volume in hair with colour - you should have a professional consultation.

Rolf, thank you. We're keeping notes of everything so it's being carefully recorded - yes, they do know I'm pregnant which is why they are being so nice to me . I don't think "Local authority staff bully pregnant woman" would be the kind of headline our CEO would want to read in the local press!

Essie, thank you for the book link - I love the smell of old books too! Think I might get some for A's first birthday .

sybil, ROFL at you perving at whinegms bum!!

Amber, x-posted. You don't need to keep quiet about what your sister is going through - it is such a tragic event and you are totally entitled to talk about it here.

It's just that all the discussion on 2nd trim m/cs was a bit too much for me at that time (I don't cope with 2nd trim pg anyway) - but that's my problem not yours .

Is your sister having her boys buried in France? How difficult for her to have to deal with all this away from home - she must be so desperate to see you, another familiar face. I hope the medical staff in France are caring for her well. She must be in unimaginable pain .

Hi Sponge - she's having them cremated together and then their ashes brought back to the UK. They wanted to bury them in the UK but there is too much red tape and cost to be honest. She is in pain but not physically which is one positive thing. She is looking forward to seeing me although I don't know how much use I will be as I will struggle to hold it together. I think she would be happy with someone who cries though as her husband has gone into practical mode and keeps telling her not to think about it which I imagine it is his way of coping (but not hers).

Amber. Let me know if there's anything I can do won't you?

Amber, I think it's ok for you to cry with your sister - esp if her dh is trying to put a brave face on. When we lost our twins different friends/family fulfilled different roles in helping us to deal with our grief, and some were there to cry with me and I really appreciated that .

Dh and I dealt with the loss very differently and I had a lot of counselling to help me understand that this was ok and didn't mean he wasn't really hurting .

Just so sad.

Oh Amber that is so very sad. There are no words, how awful

Rolf, at your DH! What a thing to say... could that be guilt or something from him and putting it onto you IYSWIM? Perhaps he thinks he should have become a different person due to having kids and maybe he feels like he is just the same, slogging away at work whereas he really wishes he could have given it all up and had the 'easy' life you have? I know my DH sometimes feels like that - he misses out on so much but has had to give so much up too eg expensive cars and holidays!

Essie, it is understandable that you might seem a little resentful about Tim just carrying on with his wonderful career and not being in the least bit hampered by Iestyn, but I think when a baby comes along one of you has to make the majority of the sacrifice, it is not realistic IMO for both to give up equal amounts and totally share the responsibility. I am not saying it should be the mum who gives stuff up, it's something that has to be decided between you. Maybe you should try to see it as a positive thing ie you get to do all the best stuff with Iestyn, he sees you as his No.1 in the whole world, Tim will never have that no matter how well he does in his career!

Re our sons meeting women, I don't think I'll be that bad . Honest! I don't really look at Theo as some perfect man who could never meet anyone good enough for him. I am sure he won't be perfect at all! As long as he is happy, I'll be happy. I don't feel funny about Esther having boyfriends either - it is all just a part of growing up. I don't like the thought of them being heartbroken though , but I suppose it happens to most of us at some point. They'd get over it!

I went to see a CM today and I really liked her! I could definitely leave the DTs there and think they'd be happy. They both seemed very happy while we were there, crawling around and letting her pick them up. I have two more CMs to see but I definitely feel happy with her so even if the others are not so good I'd go with her. I felt much happier than I was after looking at the nurseries, they were OK but I got a better feel for the CM and her house. About £15 a day cheaper too !!