JUNE 2008- tantrums, shrieking and lashings of Gin (and that's just the mums!)

[pureeandpearls]

Thread number 123 or something like that

(whispers as should be entertaining in-laws- don't do painting but do have a couple of numbers of decorators Essie. at your teeth!

We are getting Cecily a playhouse for the garden for her birthday/christening! Base is built and it's being put up on 28th!! Scuttles back to in-laws)

Essie - Ethan loves the swing, friend of mine got the ballpool thing, put it in the garden and most of the balls flew out and round the village! Probably not good for Wales!With the swing though, you really need a sibling who doesn't mind pushing baby on said swing, otherwise it gets wearing!!

Sybil - Ethan plays really happily in playpen for a long time if another human being is in there with him - he doesn't mind who, and he doesn't interact, just plays on his own , but likes the company. The fact that the playpen takes up a vast amount of our living room and is central to everything we're doing doesn't seem to make any difference.If I choose the time right, when he's fed, watered and not tired he sometimes will go in for 5-10 minutes alone before crying!

hi all -just popping in to say work ok but draining (but did help that two people I work with did loads of hand holding as mums who know how it feels to come back and feel completely out of it). edie had lovely day and seemed to eat loads (think she seems to reserve her non eating fads for us ). Puree hope pearls is better and good luck re teeth.

deb I've got a babywalker thing that gobbles blocks for edie upstairs - I have had it since I bought on sale in woolies before xmas.

amber how was sleep guru?

sponge sounds like its as much your mil issue as yours but I agree it does help to talk.

and yes neenz he has aged well hasn't he -any news from your friend yet?

sorry back to apprentice - its a class episode tongiht.

puree no decorators in Aberdeen though I bet - I need to get my house painted and my finances are stretched a bit slim.

We didn't get DS1 anything for his first birthday but we can't do that this time for Fraser as DS1 is expecting gifts and a party. Even my parents didn't buy DS1 a toy - they bought us a picnic table so we could sit outside and watch him play. So ideas would be very welcome.

Deb - I know you've got a big playpen but in my head I keep picturing a travel cot with a sad adult scrunched in the corner...

poppy DS1 always ate better at nursery too - that's the one thing I'm really looking forward to about being back - not having to feed them breakfast and lunch five days a week!

Fraser's current favourite toy is a drum that DS1 got for his birthday. He could sit and drum for hours and often dances to his own music. It's lovely to watch!

oh geez - just checked my work email and agreed to go to a conference and meeting in Trondheim, Norway in August. That means leaving Fraser for a couple nights! Eek! I did this when Duncan was this age and pumped like crazy (hard to do 14 months post-partumn) to make sure we didn't stop breastfeeding but I guess it might be a good time to quit this time since Fraser doesn't have a milk intolerance.

Norway - I'm a bit panicky! - but this group of colleagues are lovely and Norway rocks... It's so hard to leave the boys though, I really struggle with that.

I just checked my phone and found a message from Josey last night:

"Just wanted to tell you, results today were very bad. Seizures have taken over the whole of the brain. She has been started on steroids."

Oh Josey . You're all in my prayers.
x

AH, I'm so sorry to hear the dreadful news from josey. She must be beside herself - feel so helpless as there's nothing we can do but sit and wait .

Oh Josey, how awful. love and hugs to you and Olivia.

I just looked up seizures and steroids and steroids are used to control the spasms (I think). Oh blimey, come on Oli! She's got through so much so far I know she'll get through this too. Josey - you have all the love in the world coming from us all on MN - stay strong sweetheart.

Oh Josey, thinking about you and hoping that Oli continues to show those Doctors how strong and brave she is.(((hugs)))

Abdn - yes we don't get in the travel cot - that would be a tight squeeze. Norway sounds great and like you say 14 months could be a good time to stop bfeeding if that's what you want to do.I keep wondering how long I will carry on, as Ethan is still on about 4 feeds and showing no signs of dropping one yet. With S and T I was back at work by now and by 12 months they were just having the bedtime feed and we stopped that then.

I've been sniggering to myself all day at the thought of a sad adult crouched in a travel cot .

Sleep guru - well obviously Luke didn't cry like mad in the night. He grumbled a bit and she said he was waking after every cycle of sleep for up to ten minutes. He went mental at 5am though when I normally woould have thought he'd woken for the day. She said listening to his cry it was an angry/frustrated cry and I should leave him. I did and ten minutes later he went back to sleep. He did wake again 20 mins later so I got him up. She said that when he does that scream I shouldn't go in after 5 minutes like I normally do (5 then 10 etc for CC). She said 20 minutes for the first one and never pick him up. Lie him back down and maybe pat his tummy and say shh. ALso no eye contact and 2 minutes maximum in the room. She said he may have an allergy which causes him to cough in the night so I am going to check that out. She was appaled that they didn't have set sleep times at nursery for the babies (the ones that need it most). Nursery said they did but soemtimes the babies didn't want to sleep. I have now got them to do the same routine at nursery. This morning they had to put him down for 15 minutes but he then went to sleep on his own. They normally rub his back to make him sleep and the guru said he would expect adult interaction every time he couldn't sleep which is why he was grumbling. She's coming back tonight but thinks she doesn'tneed to come again after that and I can call her when I want. Let's see how tonight goes. For those suffereing with baby wake ups, she said that what routine you do/don't have in the daytime totally affects what the baby should expect in the night. She said structured sleep times in the day is really key (as I don't seem to be doing anything wrong).

Sponge - I bought a niplette thing (Avent) which uyou are meant to wear every day for at least 8 hours which permanently maeks flat/inverted nipples protrude to aid breast feeding. I'll let you know how i get on with it. Bizarrely loads of milk came out when I put it on - I have never breast fed before - why is it still in there!!! No wonder my boobs have never returned to their pre preggo size!

Seems wrong writing anything after Josey's comment.

Amber, sounds like you've made real progress already - great news. Fingers crossed for tonight.

Interesting about the niplette - can I ask why you've bought it now? Is it something you should be wearing all the time to change flat nipples? Sorry to be thick . If so then I need to go and get one (or should that be two! )!

I have so many questions to ask about bf - but think it's still too early. I don't know. Should I be doing anything to start preparing now? I'm so scared of failing again .

Hoping Oli has had a better day and the steroids have enabled an improvement.

Hi to everyone else.

Sponge - if you have bfeeding questions then why not ask them now? Be as prepared as you can be as early as you can be is what I think. Certainly I am sure everyone here would be happy to help with any queries whenever you wanted. (Should they be questions we can help with that is!)

Amber - here's hoping that you have another good night tonight

Thinking of you and your family Josey xxxx

Glad sleep Guru helped a bit a heres to a good night, Fleur slept thorugh last night (SSShhhh! ) Makes sense the routine etc during day which is why im thinking of turning off music when put her in cot cause we leave it on at night til it stops

Sponge - ask away now, I hope I could be of some help I BF Fleur for 7 months and dont know how to put this so as not to offend anyone but I found it very easy and had no problems so I would love to help anyone to acheive this .

Have now booked wedding reception, 2 rooms left to sort through, Fleur is on waiitng list for childcare places, I have an interview day before i fly to england for the wedding!! But I still have to get wedding dress and other things but hey im getting through my lists slowly !!!!hehe

Amber glad to hear that you had some success with the sleep guru. Fingers crossed.

and Amber I know what you mean about feeling funny talking about our normal lives when Oli is in the hospital. I've been upset for J&family all week but I realized today that Duncan and Fraser have picked up on it and that's not going to help anyone. Duncan keeps telling me I need to buy Olivia another present and then she'll get well. I wish it was that simple. I read the same thing as you did about the steroids but I'm not sure exactly what that means for Oli. It's all so complicated - Josey has had to learn so much (and totally has, I'm always so impressed with how educated she is about Oli and how to help her).

Paro no one will be offended that you had an easy time of bf! Sponge I don't think I have useful experience to help you, but I did find it easier the second time around. Just keep reminding yourself that if you had bf Alex, you might not have been able to get pregnant now. I think A knew what he was doing. I don't want you to use the word fail!

josey so sorry to hear about oli - keeping fingers crossed that steroids help. ah its amazing how they pick up on stuff isn't it but hope boys are ok now .

and am with rolf as snorted with laughter at idea of deb in the travel cot.

amber sounds like guru well worth it. are niplettes different to nipple shield? I'm desperate to find somethign that may clear this ongoing blocked duct (I wasn't surprised when you said milk ame out ) - and spnoge nipple shields definitley helped me for limited time I did feed. I know you get a kicking for using them on the ever helpful and supportive b/f thread but if I hadn't had them I'd not ahve fed at all. ah am sure you're right that second time around you're maybe more relaxed - I've heard that elsewhere.

right will stop posting - head aching after being at work all day but getting slowly used to it. Friend also back this wekke after six months (still feeling a bit that i'm the only fucking one in my rl baby group back -not helped by the bozo of the group sending a mail round about maybe having a birhtday party in the week ofr all our group -like how is that going to work when I'm at work as will another person be by then ).

Hi all, have been keeping up - I'm so sad to hear about Oli, I've been checking in to get the updates. I'm hoping no new news is good news.

Amber, interesting about the sleep guru, I really hope it works for you. If I leave B to cry, he gets so distressed and starts banging his head. What does Luke do if you leave him?

Sponge, I have (well had, until bf) the flattest nipples. I think that's why I found the first few weeks so painful and difficult, until they stretched and also B's mouth got bigger. I didn't quite understand how bf really worked until I looked at the Dr Jack Newman website. This sounds so stupid now (and looking back, why the bf workshop I went to in advance was so crap!) but I didn't realise the nipple has to go right to the back of the throat. So having flat nips, the baby has to pull at them, which drags them over the hard palate and causes the pain. God, I hope I'm not putting you off!!! My point, when I get to it, is to say, anything that will help pull your nips out in advance can only be a good thing.

Quick wave to everyone else - I'm going for a soak in the bath x

sybil, thank you. I think what I will do is write down my experience (it'll be long - you know me! ) to make sense of it and then post it so you guys can give me some guidance as to what I do next.

paro, gentle cyber slap for thinking I'd be offended . I wish I could say the same thing - and there may be a reason you found it 'easy' that could help me? Sounds like the wedding prep is getting exciting!

AH, your bit about not feeding Alex meaning I could get pg with spongelet made me cry . I am very hormonal today so apologies!

poppy, KWYM about the ever-helpful bf thread, lol! I keep wondering whether to post my experience on there but keep backing off - I have loved being on MN for this thread and all the lovely people I've met on here, but I have to say that I'm sure that if I'd never discovered the MN b/f threads I would never have felt even half the guilt and shame I do for ff-ing Alex. I think some of the women who post on there are absolutely appalling and some of the stuff they say about ff is just so offensive . It really puts me off.

You guys, on the other hand, are lovely - so I think I will stay in the cotton wool safety of my lovely June thread .

Right ER is on, must dash!

whinegums, x-posted! Thank you, may need to check out Amber's nipple thing then!