JUNE 2008- tantrums, shrieking and lashings of Gin (and that's just the mums!)

[pureeandpearls]

Thread number 123 or something like that

AH, thank you for letting us know. Devastating news, so relieved that neither your dh or josey's were involved.

Neenz, you x-posted with AH! Thank God all is well. I was really worried about you both. I really can't imagine how awful the worrying must be.

Not much to report here - Day 4 in the isolation camp, DH returning tomorrow. Problem is, when he's away we argue a whole lot more. Currently it's about his parents, and him being unreliable with work. (I know I'm not the only wife-of-barrister here, but the unpredictability is SO annoying! I had booked myself a morning in the BL, with Tim doing childcare, but he's now in court, of course, so it's rearranging. Gr.)

I know what I meant to say! I'm coming to London on Saturday, for two weeks (with a possible short break somewhere Eurostar-able at the end of the second week). Anybody fancy coming to play?

Oh that's great news AH. I had a really bad feeling when there was nothing on here or FB. So glad all is well. My thoughts are with those other poor families though .

I know what you mean Essie, DH is only a plassy barrister but he still has the same diary issues! Although it is also nice when a case cracks and he makes it home early (like yesterday ). The BL?

I feel really nauseus today, it just keeps coming over me in waves. Also my cup of tea tastes funny and so did the DTs' porridge . Hope it is just this bug that everyone's had and not morning sickness. Theo was sick twice on Tues after his first BF and during his porridge but nothing since then so maybe he had it mild and has given it to me (here's hoping). But although I really really don;t want to have a baby in eight months' time, the thought that I might be PG is actually very exciting!! I suppose when you spent a while being desperate to be PG it is difficult to get out of that mindset. But no, really, I hope I am not!

allnew a fellow saddo

ah and josey so glad its ok for you but devestating for those other families.

three under two neenz-it'll be a doddle for you with your expertise on cc , feeding etc (I think it does sound like a bug - I felt like that over weekend - wasn't sick but didn't half feel it and everythign tasted disgusting).

essie let me know when as might be able to catch up.

and if you're going for eurostar, I'd vote for Paris being very baby friendly...

So glad your men are fine AH and Josey.

Dp is ill again - he was up all night with stomach bug - I had it mildly this morning, same as you Neenz felt nauseous and things tasted funny, but he was really poorly. I think he is even more run down than I am and so things are hitting him hard. He is feeling very, very low at the moment. Not sure what to do about that really.

On plus side, saw lovely GP today who said I am mildly to moderately depressed, probly cos of broken sleep and no local support system, gave me some self-help leaflets and wants to see me again regularly, no anti-depressants for now (good, don't want them really, just want to feel a bit better!). I got the right dr. - quite randomly - he works part-time for our practice and part-time for the local psych service - and has a non-sleeping 14 month old! so he understood. It does make a big difference to feel someone is keeping an eye on me. And what he said has really re-prioritised Caitlin's sleep training for me, we need to sort that out now. I hadn't really thought it through but her life as a whole will be better if me and dp are better, and that will only happen once we are sleeping.

AH and Josey - what Poppy said - so glad your families are ok but heartbreaking for the other families.

SA v glad you got a sympathetic GP. I'm very sleep-deprived atm. 4 in the bed last night . I've drunk too much coffee and have the shakes!

That sounds really positive Systems. I agree you need to sort the sleep cos it makes you feel x100 better when you are getting a good night's sleep! Your poor DP again .

Yes I think it is a bug I have, been back to bed twice today when the DTs have napped and feel a bit better.

Trying to get in touch with work now to get a definite date for my return (july 15 I think) but then I am on hols first two weeks in August so I am thinking we only really need childcare from Aug 17, we can sort something out with family for two weeks in July. One of DH's second cousins who is a childcare studies student at Leeds Met uni offered on FB last night to have them in the summer so I need to chase her on that and see if she really wants to do it. I offered her £65 a day for nine hours which I thought was a bit stingy but everyone on my FB seems to think it is loads! I had a bit of a panic about her last night, cos I think when I was 19 I was nowhere near responsible/knowledgable enough to look after two 14mos for a whole day, but cos she is studying childcare surely she will know what she is doing...? She is a really good kid, she is 19, and her family are lovely, she has been really well brought up IYKWIM!! So I think she will be OK. That gives me time then to find a nanny or a CM, don't think I am going to be able to find a CM local enough though. One of the problems is that I work north of our home and DH works south so the CM can't be too far either way IYSWIM cos I am dropping off and he is picking up. And nursery is a no I think cos of the 6pm finish.

Urghh. I've been looking for felt bags on Google (for Easter eggs) and clicking through the results ended up with pornography on my lovely computer. Who would have thought that such a wholesome mission could be so sullied? I didn't know "felt bag" had another meaning

LOL Rolf!! Neenz I used to look after a 14 month old and a 3 year old for full days when I was about 15 - it was in the village so my mum would have been on hand if needed but I had no idea what I was doing to start off with and we all survived! In comparison a 19 year old childcare student sounds extremely competent!!

Oh Rolf . I think I can guess what felt bag's other meaning is

Thanks Systems, her mum lives just around the corner from here so I am sure they would be fine! I think I was just a bit wayward when I was a teen!

Work are now saying they might not want me to go back till Aug 17, cos I was going to go back July 15 for three weeks, then take two weeks hols, so now HR said maybe I should take unpaid leave for those three weeks until after my summer hols. Suits me

I asked her when the six months starts (got to stay for 6m to keep mat pay) and she said at end of mat leave which is mid-April (the rest of the time is parental leave and holidays) so if I hate it I only need to stay for two months.

I heard from a nanny today through netmums, she was happy to work for £70 a day net (9am-7pm), but she doesn't drive, which I am not bothered by. I never really take them anywhere in the car and in emergencies my PILs are just around the corner and lots of other family if needed. So she sounds promising if a bit on the dim side . She is in her 50s and says she has 10yrs experience. She says she is married to a policeman. So if I decide to take it further I will need help on what to check re references and qualifications and stuff. But I really need to decide whether I am going to stay at work cos don;t want to take on a nanny for two months, it's not fair, but then how do I know if I am going to like being back, I don;t know!

Neenz are there any nanny agencies around here? I haven't worked since we moved up to the NW but I had a PT nanny (3 days a week) for the boys when we lived in Kent. I found I got better applicants through the agency. I wanted someone with nanny experience so they could cope with the loneliness of being in someone else's home for a long day. I also limited the activities she could do with her nanny friends. My thinking was that I was happy for there to be some cross-over (happy nanny= happy children etc) but if she left the job I wanted her replacement to be able to carry on where the old nanny left off, and if the old nanny hung out with her mates and their mindees, that would be more difficult.

I also thought about a balance of activities that I arranged for them, and things the nanny could decide for herself. So the nanny took the boys to a music club once a week, and swimming once a week. They did a few hours at a nursery (diff days) so the nanny did the drop off etc, and then had a couple of hours with the other boy. She met up with a nanny friend and her mindee once a week at a soft-play place, and the rest of the time she did more gentle stuff with them, eg painting, park, messing round at home. She cooked their meals and got them to bed in the evenings.

FWIW, I think that's quite a lot for an inexperienced 19 year old to do. If I went ahead with it I'd be quite strict about how the day was spent.

Sorry I can't be any help with recommending local childcare. I've used a childminder up here for DD1 - she did short days (9.30 - 2.30 during term time) and it worked very well but obviously your needs are different with T and E.

Ooh, yes that is too much for a 19 year old, but I don't do anything like that with the DTs anyway . We go to playgroups. Yes I think I'd have to be firm about her not seeing her mates when she had my two, but it would only be for a few weeks cos she is back at uni in September. Thanks so much for your thoughts though, Rolf, they are things I hadn't thought of. There is lots to think of...

I have looked at an agency but their fee was £500! We can't afford that, especially as we probably won't keep her for long. I think that is pretty average for fees isn't it?

£500 sounds about average but I really am not up to date at all

No, I didn't do all that with the boys either! They probably had much more fun with the nanny than they'd ever had with me! I talked to a friend who had had nannies and got some advice from her. It's very difficult to change things once they've started as you worry that they won't love your children if you say anything that may sound critical

Rolf, I googled felt bags and all I came up with was . . . um . . . pictures of felt bags!!

What on earth were you googling?!

umm...I think it was yellow felt bags, or maybe also the word Easter.

And you, like, totally sick nutter

He he he he he !!

It's my natural sense of curiosity - and also not wanting to look like a numpty cos I don't know what these words mean!

Thanks to MN I have recently found out what dragonbutter and teabagging mean .

I want to save myself the blushes that I had in front of bunch of mates once when I announced, "It's soo hot in here I feel like I'm being spit roasted"! They have never let me forget it!

(Btw, I still don't know what a felt bag is!)

LOL at Sponge looking for those other felt bags deliberately...but, um, could be my nonconformist upbringing, or the fact that English is my second language, but I can't for the life of me think what felt bags would be. Can/will anyone spell it out? (Rolf, maybe, or Sponge who clearly likes that kind of thing...)

Systems glad things are better - your GP sounds great! But not so good on your ill DP.
Mellymel good to see you back - loved the description of your DS!

Poppy I'm extremely flexible, have nothing planned Monday-Wednesday next week, or, in fact, Thursday but Friday will be church. But not all day. I'm not Catholic or anything, we're a bit wishy washy here in Anglicanism. ( at Rolf and Five!)
Also, Paris, you say? Where would you recommend staying, and what would you recommend doing? Fancy being a tour organiser for us? It will be 3-4 days, and I haven't been to Paris apart from the one time I spent 3 days there when I was 19.

Neenz and everyone else - sorry, randomly threw in an acronym: BL = British Library. Somewhere I won't be going unless Tim provides a nanny.

Ok, Sponge, explain dragonbutter and teabagging as well, while you're at it!

Please don't look if you're easily offended!!

teabagging

dragonbutter

Notice you didn't ask what spit roasting was then Essie! Not quite that naive . . . !

Essie cheeky mare re Catholics. 5 I'll hold her down and you set the sheep on her

It was a fanny picture . Maybe they were malicious folk trying to scare nice arts and crafters, maybe it's not porn code at all.

Lol at scaring the arts and crafts folk with porn!

Essie, have a fab time in London - unfortunately my diary is rammed for the next two weeks or I'd love to meet up .

Will just go and find a bad'un essie have put pics on profile.

I am so glad you your DH's are OK Josey and AH but thoughts and prayers are with the families.

Now Easter as a Catholic, starts with Palm Sunday, followed by Maundy Thursday, Stations of the Cross on Good Friday, The Easter Vigil on Saturday and/or mass on Easter Sunday.

Yes I thought felt bags were hairy fannies!

I went to get E from her nap earlier and she had been sick all over the bed (banana porridge), she has been sick twice more, and has no thrown up all her toast she had for tea. It stinks.

Anyway, should I BF her as normal before bed or is she just going to throw that up too?

Try anyway neenz, to try and avoid dehydration...

Essie- I'm free ish next week, and would love to meet you before the grand wedding!

Delighted to hear from AH and Josey.

Oh, and I had no idea what teabagging, dragon butter and spit roasting was. So thanks for that. I shall have nightmares!!!

Agree with Puree.

I didn't click on Spongebrainpornopants's links.

Thea is racing around the place now. She's wearing a pair of DS1's old dungarees and looks so cute as she scarpers into the distance. I think little boy clothes are so sweet - I'd forgotten how much I like them.