Fab Feb 2009: attack of the zombie mums

[dinkystinky]

So here we all are, complete with babies and gro-bags under our eyes

Where is my period? We're 7 weeks now and ff. With ds1 I had my period just before 6 weeks. Any of you other ffers still waiting? If not when did you get it?

Dinky - yay for TW, there are some lovely places to go. I know there is a Thomas thing at Sainsburys...

SMS I've had mine, but that's because I was taking the pill and forgot it two days in a row!!!

I am planning on going back on the pill although I am trying to persuade dp to have the snip, but was waiting for a 'real' period before starting.
I know this will sound really silly, but when we started having sex again at about 2 weeks post delivery, we got caught in the moment a few times so ended up using the 'pull out' method which I know isn't safe. Lets hope I'm not knocked up again!!!!

Oh, MrsY Meant to ask, how are you feeling now? Are things getting better?

'Cor SMS - that's risky... Still can't believe you were back in the saddle after only two weeks. I thought you had to wait for a natural period before doing anything, but GP wisely pointed out that to have a period, I would have ovulated (although I don't always) so could still fall pregnant - if we were having sex that is!

We're ok - have 6 week check tomorrow, John's coming with me and I think he's going to say he thinks I've got PND... He also wants us to go to couples counseling, but I find it hard to talk about how I feel, so I might try and resist that. We went out for a drink last night but seemed to spend most of the night talking about Gordan Brown's fiscal policy!!

Both making an effort though, which has to be a good start...

I think it's a good start that you got out and spoke about something that wasn't focused on babies and day to day life iyswim.
Did your hv make you fill out the questionairre where they 'test' for PND?
My 6 week check this time was the gp asking me if I was ok, and me saying yes. After ds1, I didn't even go for a 6 week check

I'm wondering whether having sex again that early was a factor in my extreme afterpains and possible uterus infection. We were having sex that early after ds1 too.

I don't really like talking about how I feel infront of dp as I always feel like I'm being out of line. It might be worth thinking about seeing someone who is trained in couples therapy though.

Before leaving hospital, mw told us to have sex before 6 week check so I could tell gp if there were any problems.

HAPPY FRIDAY
I got some sleep - Yay!!

so glad, as I felt like a zombie this week. Put P to bed at 8pm, she woke for a feed at 12.30,fed, poo'd & burped all in 30mins! Then again at 5.15am.
Which is good for us, as Dp's alarm goes off at 5.30am, so were up by that time normally, so its like a morning feed for us.

how is everyone today? anyone doing anything nice over the weekend?
It looks like its going to be quite nice weather here & we have our first weekend since P was born without visitors or visiting people.
So im going for a riding lesson! V excited. I used to ride for years & moved to london & couldnt afford or find anywhere near. Now I live more in the country side I thought Id try it again. Quite expensive, but I think I deserve a treat :-)

About the sex thing - I cant even think about it. Literally, it makes me feel weird thinking about it after giving birth. Hope that feeling goes
Bad as it sounds, maybe I should bite the bullet & get the first time over with

Morning!

Yes KT sounds like it's time to get back in the saddle in more ways than one! I felt like I had to "get it over& done with" when I had DS1 but honestly, it'll be fine. Go for it!

morning all, not been on for a few days as its been manic here so had a lot of catching up to do

calico hope all is ok with Lilian when you have your check up.

MrsY, glad you managed to get out with John even though you ended up talking politics. At least it was a non baby conversation.

SMS, fingers crossed for you that you didn't get 'caught out'. Can't believe how brave/crazy you were at 2 weeks. I still can't bear the thought of it but I think a lot of it is that I feel disgusted at the way my body looks at the moment. Feel like a kangaroo with my massive pouch.

Sounds crazy but my stomach seems bigger than it was a few weeks ago as clothes that were fitting then aren't now. Also, got quite bad stomach cramps on and off and wondering whether period is imminent which may explain bloating. Strange though as I'm b/f but then he is having bottles of formula too so maybe I'm not b/f enough?

herby, thanks for the info on school vouchers which is really useful. We can't decide when to come home so its good to have all this sort of information for when we make the decision

I now realise how lucky I was to be able to educate DS1 and DD1 privately. Recently I've been reading the education and secondary education threads and its been shocking to read stories of children who have been offered their 3rd choice of school or are on a waiting list, some of which have been in 500th place
Information like that is making us consider staying a few years extra so that we could then hopefully afford to send DD2 and DS2 to the school of our choice but its hard to find the balance. Some days here its really enjoyable but others I feel like screaming at the utter bullshit of the place and the stupid rules.

Harrison was really grouchy a few nights ago as he had his first set of injections on Wednesday. A little bit earlier than they were due but we are off on holiday next Thursday and our medical centre suggested that he have them a bit early so he has a bit of protection. Poor little thing wasn't too well Wednesday night and of course at only 6 1/2 weeks he was too young for calpol. Thankfully he is a bit better today.
I'm a bit miffed as DH is having to go into work this morning for a few hours (its our Sunday) as he has some urgent stuff that needs finishing and he is off work tomorrow as having to fly to Dubai tonight to pick up DD1 who is flying from the UK tonight and arrives in Dubai at around 7am tomorrow. The connecting flight to Dubai isn't until around 6pm and hell would freeze over before we let her stay in Dubai on her own for a day. She'd end up getting sold into slavery or something.
Will be nice to have her out here though and hopefully we can go and do some nice girlie shopping

Happy friday everyone

Morning all. Danny went down at 7 last night and was back to his 11pm and 4am wakeups for feeds and up at 6 again, so all is back to normal in the dinky household sleepwise. Now snoozing upstairs in his cot again....

KT - I felt the same after DS1's birth re sex; we ended up trying at around 8 weeks and it was a little uncomfortable but not too bad and just got better. Its hard when you're so exhausted from looking after baby and lots of life changes but is worth trying to reconnect on a physical level when you can.

MoS - sorry to hear Harrison has been out of sorts but good to hear you're off on holiday soon. Hope you have a really lovely time. Re educating your kids - both my sister and I went to private schools from around the age of 6 and my mum and dad made lots of sacrifices to enable us to do so until we started getting scholarships which helped financially. My husband went to state schools but his mum had to really fight to get him into the good local state secondary school. DH and I have discussed about private education but it is so expensive to potentially send 3 kids private over here for their full education so we're going to try out the local state primary school first (which has a fairly good Ofstead report and was one of the reasons we bought the house we have) and if that's not working out, will try private education (as places do open up as kids move home/to other schools etc.). Local secondary schools around here are terrible so we'll have to move or send DSs private at that point but its a long way off...

Ps MrsY - I definitely recommend you give couples counselling a go;I know you dont like the idea of it but I know at least 2 relationships it has helped save and make much stronger. Make sure you find a counsellor you feel comfortable with and you should find it surprisingly easy to open up after a few sessions...

Morning all.
KT Hence the title 'Attack of the Zombie Mums'
have fun with the riding lesson, you do deserve a treat.
calico Good luck today, will be thinking of you and Lillian.

Dp has just said he wants us all to go swimming later. I don't really want to take Luke this early, no particular reason I don't think I just don't really want to. It would also mean me having to shave my legs and I can't be messing about with all of that so am trying to think of another activity we can all do together. Suggestions please.......

Morning....

Am truly a zombie mum this morning....

Course, he's asleep now....and I have to sort the house out for MIL arriving tomorrow and since he was a pain all yesterday afternoon/evening it does look like a bomb's hit it.....well, ok, maybe not that bad.

So, glad someone brought it up -postnatal sex. As a first timer have no idea what to expect.....

I only get an 8 week check up, not a 6 week, so still a couple of weeks to go before docs. Am v sleep deprived, so it's not high on my agenda, but has crossed my mind. Haven't made a long-term contraceptive plan so far but the thought of using a condom for the first time makes me think about sandpaper for some reason. Am BF, but not sure want to rely on that alone as we're not sure about a second and certainly not just yet.

Trouble is, have no idea what will be like. Am not sure everything is looking the same as it used to in the undercarriage dept and think epsio scar still swollen - TMI? Does scarring go down or am I left with that? All your experience gratefully received even if is early in the morning!

What would I do without you lot? Be v miserable I think, so thanks for always being here.

MrsY - couples counselling is a good plan - esp if he's keen - must take a lot for a man to admit/suggest. Shows he is really interested in working things out. I don't think you have to talk in front of him. People I know who've been chat individually to a counsellor - who talks to both so they can sort of identify where you're both seeing things differently perhaps. Then they have a session where they see both together and the counsellor sympathetically covers the issues, without details of what was said. The other point is, if you want the relationship to improve, then bite the bullet and get it all out? Kill or cure?

Beantin - one thing you'll need if you use a condom for first time post baby sex: KY Jelly... you can be abit dry the first few times. And it feels abit tight so a little uncomfortable but the tissues all stretch in time and it goes back to normal. Make sure you've been doing your pelvic floor exercises so the healing has all taken place well down below before you have sex for the first time too. Some women find sex better after having given birth as they've worked on improving their pelvic floor......

try to do my pf exercises, but so many things to remember in the day. I usually remember just as I end up rushing to the loo!

They were def better before now.

Anyone tried patches or implants for contraception?

Ok....So seen as your on the subject of pelvic floor - Mine are completly ruiened I think.
I just did my exercise DVD ( which Poppy found very amusing!!) and my pelvic floor seems to have just collapsed.
Great!
Im 25 and destined to pee myself for rest of my days when I laugh, cough, sneeze & worst of all exercise....could be very embarassing considering my job

I did & still do try to do my PF exercises. I really did

KT - did you have a very full bladder before doing the dvd? It may be that the moving around vigorously just made it irritable and your pf couldnt keep up... After having DS1 I found it was best to go to the loo before doing any exercise - that way I knew I wouldnt embarrass myself... It will get better, just keep up the pf exercises (the quick ones and the slow hold for 10 second ones - at least 3x 10 of each a day)

Hmm, here's a question - those of you who have had your 6-8 week check; did you get your DC's heel prick/Guthrie test results at the checkup? I was told by the useless CMWs that the GP should have them by the 6 week check time but surprise surprise, they didnt - have spent the past 3 days calling Brent CMW line (which is always on answer machine) leaving messages asking them to call me back (which they never do!) to find out what the hell has happened to Danny's test results. Grrr...

Dinky - yeah, might have been, as Ive had a few cups of coffee this morning. I will persist with the execises.
There the most easiest, simplist of exercises, but why is it so hard to remember to do them everyday...

Where has the sun gone?? Me & P were going to go for a long walk in the carry pouch thingy - Just discovered how to use it

Grr...computer just ate my post!!!

As I was saying...

Sorry for lack of personals, I seem to have missed this entire thread

DH went back to work on Sunday night so I've been on my own with my very poorly DS and DD all week! Poor DS, I think he actually had proper Flu. Raging temperatures for almost a full week and all he wanted was cuddles and to sleep.
Well, he's on the mend and back at nursey today hence me getting 5 minutes to post.

I do hope hope evryone is well, for those under the weather or just generally feeling shit...get well soon

Time to go and make my lunch before Niamh wakes up and wants hers!!!

just lost my post too stoopid pc!

your poor ds chilled, hope he's back to himself soon. you must be exhausted though.

Whats a pelvic floor? Lost mine 16 years ago
Sorry you've lost yours too KT but please stop bragging about your age. I've just realised I'm technically old enough to be your mum

Whats a pelvic floor? Lost mine 16 years ago
Sorry you've lost yours too KT but please stop bragging about your age. I've just realised I'm technically old enough to be your mum

Crikey KT, yes, you are a spring chick. Just a bit older than my baby sister. She's not a mum but from your profile she'd problee get on well with you.

Sorry MoS - although after becoming pregnant, I dont feel 25. Ive not been out with my firends for months...Not even been drunk yet since the birth...hmm....perhaps tonight is the night??

Its very quiet on here today - I usually log on & a few pages have been done by now.
Iv been up to Asda to look at the clothes - They actually have some really nice stuff! I have to restrain myself from buying Poppy anymore clothes, she has grown out of a few things before she has had the chance to wear them.

MIL keeps telling me to save them for WHEN we have another.....Give me a bloody chance Poppy is only 6 weeks old!