jan 09; dream feeds, sod mummy's needs, shes on her knees...the one where it all starts to get better (hopefully)!

[fourlittlefeet]

here we are; a bit early, but one more task done. tick

Tree! Its good to have you back. Please don't give yourself a hard time, it sounds like its been tough enough for you as it is and as everyone has said this is the place to vent and get things off your chest. You're not pathetic at all, and from a friend's experience coping with colic is incredibly tiring, stressful and generally no fun at all. So vent away!

DS stretched out on his daddy's lap looking a whole lot better than he has done, hooray!

Thanks hkz. Sorry again to hear of your troubles, great to hear of the contented baby picture!

Will be back to bouncy self soon I really do hope. Need to get braver and bit harder. Am ok as long as don't think about dd1. Then I flop into a squidgy guilt ridden bloblet searching for a hanky and a bar of choc.

No personal experience but almost got one for DD. If the safe sleeping thing concerns you how about getting one of the clip on breathing monitors that Dog/MM uses and/or using the Amby to settle her and for daytime naps and transfer her to her cot/basket when you are sleeping?

Was thinking of it for daytime too. Maybe will have to buy it and get on with it.

Am so zombified that last night I fell asleep with her on the boob and woke to find her behind me under the duvet. Imagine.

elkiedee we are having an apparent weight issue as well. DD had her first Dr. appt yesterday and the Dr. said that she had fallen wayside on the scale and scheduled a pediatrician consult. i weighed her last week on an electronic scale at the health centre last week and she was 9lbs 12oz. they weighed her in at 9lbs 8oz at the Dr's this week. i'm not sure what to think about this. 6oz is significant and i would notice that weight loss in a week. she is a teeny little girl but healthy looking. i think she is just slow to gain. she is above average in length which i'm sure has something to do with it. anyhow, i'm not going to fret over it. i eat well and healthy and she is a good eater.

DH is getting more confident at the prospect of DD being awake when we go out. we've been busy visiting and lunching and teaing the last couple of days and DD was awake for the most part, flashing her smile at everyone that paid attention to her. i have a social butterfly on my hands. DH has this impression that if she is awake she is going to cry for boob. we use to make our trips out in a two hour time frame because of the hassle of feeding when out. but its getting better and i'm getting more confident at feeding in public, but that is made easier here i think than say london because of the high hippesque yuppy population of victoria. its very accepted. i am totally house bound today... i have no desire to go out. going now because its 3pm and The Doctors is on... hotty hot hot doc on that show. eye candy while i feed DD.

Thanks Lennied. Haven't time to read the other thread but will get onto it first thing tomorrow.

DS2s teacher said he will not be taken out of class but they will be able to justify him having more 1-1 time with the teaching and learning assistants they already have. She also said there may be a small group of children who have need of similar help. Tbh a lot of the reason he is so far behind is down to them. His nursery class was split into two classes for reception year and there weren't enough pupils to get funding for two full time teachers so one class got a full time teacher and part time higher learning teaching assistant and DSs class got a teacher in the morning and HLTA in the afternoon. On top of that both his teacher and HLTA were off sick for most of the first term so they ended up with a chain of supply teachers and TAs covering. He got a new teacher at the beginning of January, although she is still mornings only, and she said she was horrified at how little some of the children (DS in particular could do). We already felt badly let down by the school and had several meetings with the head about it at the end of last year. However, his new teacher is great, really on the ball and someone I have a lot of respect for. His HLTA is also great and really experienced, she also had DS1 when he was in reception and I don't have any concerns over her ability, but still feel the class should be entitled to a full time teacher.

I find it really interesting (and worrying) that both my boys' class work has fallen behind while I have been unwell etc. It does beg the question 'who has actually been teaching them?'.

I have found a couple of interesting books for 'normal' (nt? if that's the right expression) children on good manners and behaviour that got really good reviews on amazon and have decided that as DS1 is an avid reader and really seems to absorb the information he reads these might be a good starting point for any 'social' lessons we or someone more qualified might give him. Am also hoping to buy a couple of books that explain ASDs in laymans terms so that we can get a better grasp of the area we are in. (Any suggestions/recommendations would be greatly appreciated).

At the end of the day we have come to the conclusion that it's down to us and only us to make sure our boys gain the skills they need, be they academic or social/emotional. I don't feel we can trust or rely on the school to get it right, so we have to look seriously into getting the support and resources we need to help them outside of their educational environment.

On another unrelated but more appropriate to this thread note, DD has now come down with a cold and is really snotty and fractious with a gungy eye. The boys and DH have all had it but I've only had it very mildly so am hoping she gets my antibodies and fights it off quickly. (Also wishing DS2 would stop talking to her nose to nose - talk about droplet infection!)

chef my HV came and weighed DD this week and said her scales had just been calibrated but the ones at clinics and surgeries are usually only done once a year and can be significantly out. She reckons the only way to be sure of weight gain or loss is to use the same scales every time.

Interestingly the discrepancy we had was 9lb 8oz at the hospital and 9lb 12oz on her scales, so very similar to you but the other way round as she was weighed at the hospital first iyswim. HV was very happy with her and felt she was a good weight for her size and within an acceptable growth curve.

Bless you moose. I have no advice at all. You sound like you're doing an amazing job as always. Great you have a teacher you trust in place for ds.

Right am off to bed folks, lost track of time tonight!

Second Moose on the scales thing chef. When you think of them being carted about in cars too, it can't be good for their calibration what not thingamies, even if they have been calibrated in recent memory.

Tree, good to see you about, sorry you've had such a hard time, as others have said do come and moan if you find it at all useful to do so.

As for me, I talked to my mum who found a link online saying that breastfed babies normally gain an average of 5 oz to 7 oz a week. 5 oz = 141 grammes - so 130 grammes is not so far below that - and it makes 50g a day seem like a rather unreasonable expectation, even with mix feeding and with a fairly low level of top ups! I might print some of that stuff out and take it with me next week, in case.

And the consultant (a different doctor) who spoke to us and had a look at DS before he was weighed, and had met him before and been much more concerned about him, seemed to think he looked well - alert and everything. I think I'm going to try and get bf counsellor help in positioning so I feed him better off both breasts, as mentioned before, and keep calm about the whole thing. I would like to be able to ditch the top ups but if I can't yet, I know he's getting the benefits of my milk/feeding him too, and I much prefer breastfeeding to bottle feeding. His appreciation and reaction to a more public feed does a lot to outweigh the embarrassment I might feel - he clearly enjoys doing it, and that's been observed by a range of people, including family, other mums and health professionals.

Tree We are all so pleased to hear from you. I second the other ladies- This is THE place where you ARE suposed to vent. its what we all do, and what we are all here to do. Let off Steam and get others opinions. So let rip woman! Hope LO settles soon, i feel for you!

How is everyone else? i'm just getting over the ends of a horrid cold. i was so worried Esme would get it, but she really hasnt shown any signs of discomfort, only a few bogies and a bit sniffly! Ha!

Yesterday was a bit of a nightmare, we'd been having some drainage problems, yesterday a plumber came and basically knocked through 2 walls to get to the problem! our house was only completed in the summer, and the soil pipe had been laid flat, meaning it wasn't draining properly... All sorted now, but my goodness the house was a state yesterday. Poor little Esme was thrown for 6, i didn't realise how into her routine she was, she was totally unsettled at not being able to nap in her nursery and all the banging and thumping that was going on yesterday.

Last night i left her for the first time. Big steps.Its OH's birthday saturday, but he left this morning for an away fixture and wont be home until early hours of sunday morning. So i bathed her, fed her, and settled her, then Sister in law baby sat for her while we went out for dinner. there is a lovely resturant only 5 mins away, so we were only out 2 hours, but it was lovely to have some couple time, and not to mention feel good for getting over the hurdle of leaving her. Not that she knew the difference- Snoozing away.

Meeting with mummy and baby friends for lunch today, beautiful sunny day here today!

morning

hi tree great to hear from you sounds like u r having a hard time
have you thought of buying a graco baby swing i have just bought one cheap on ebay is a god send. bracken loves it sends her straight to sleep.
bracken went up before us last night put her up @ 9 .
she is mow drinking 3 ozs 3 hourly

Hi all

Got both boys off sick today. DS1 was awake half the night and started showing migraine symptoms this morning, think we have managed to head it off with paracetamol and ibuprofen but he's still very pale and green looking. DS2 has had a cold for a few days and now has developed a nasty cough, which of course we are worried about after his pneumonia.

DD also has the cold and was very snorty and snorey all night but has been sleeping well in her swing this morning and is still feeding well so am not too concerned.

This is the first time my bum has hit a seat since 7.30 this morning other than DDs 15 minute feed at 9.45! Haven't managed breakfast, again and not really any point now as its lunch time.

Fortunately DH has taken pity on my plight and booked the afternoon off. I think he is getting worried about my PND potential with everything that's been going on.

Anyway must go, am about to burn the DSs lunch and DD should have woken up for her feed so that will be any minute now!

hi mm

sorry to hear that kids are all ill at least u will have dhs support
make sure you sit down abit more

hi tree
hope this helps:-

cgi.ebay.co.uk/AMBY-NATURES-NEST-HAMMOCK-Raw-Cotton-Cotbed-Cot-Bed_W0QQitemZ170306109023QQcmdZViewIt emQQptZUKBabyNurseryFurnitureET?hash=item170306109023&trksid=p3286.c0.m14&trkparms=72%3A1688%7 C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1308

www.ciao.co.uk/Amby_baby_Hammock_Nature_s_Nest__6466631

and these are swings-

cgi.ebay.co.uk/NEW-GRACO-SILHOUETTE-INFANT-6-SPEED-MUSICAL-BABY-SWING_W0QQitemZ370165538063QQcmdZVie wItemQQptZUKToysGamesToysCA?hash=item370165538063&trksid=p3286.c0.m14&trkparms=72%3A1688%7C66% 3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1308

i have this one it is really good and a good price
cgi.ebay.co.uk/NEW-DESIGN-GRACO-DINO-BABY-DELIGHT-INFANT-SWING-BOUNCER_W0QQitemZ370167693120QQcmdZVi ewItemQQptZUKToysGamesToysCA?hash=item370167693120&trksid=p3286.c0.m14&trkparms=72%3A1688%7C66 %3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1308

this looks good
cgi.ebay.co.uk/NEW-GRACO-SWEETPEACE-INFANT-6-SPEED-BABY-SOOTHER-SWING_W0QQitemZ370164677494QQcmdZVie wItemQQptZUKToysGamesToysCA?hash=item370164677494&trksid=p3286.c0.m14&trkparms=72%3A1688%7C66% 3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318

www.kiddicare.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/productdisplayA_0_10751_-1__71307_10001_

hkz so glad that ds is improving, but so sorry that he has been so poorly.

dog/tree- I know what you mean about the older dc- I was v tearful yesterday- when I'm with DD I feel I'm neglecting DS, when I'm with DS I feel I'm neglecting DD DD is being v trying at present- lots of tantrums, so wearing.

elkie 350 g per week sounds way too high for bf baby- with dd I was told 2 or 3 oz per week... though boys may be slightly more. My DS has gained 500g per week- and he is an utterly huge! He has gone from 75th to 95th centile, so that must be guidance for ff babies, surely? HV was shocked, as DS is excl bf.... just an utter milk monster atm.

Tree- your DD2 sounds v much like my dd1... and it was exhausting, utterly crippling- the crying, the reflux, the walking about, the stress, etc etc.
It's only now, with DS, that I realise what most babies are actually like! Hang in there- it does end- and she has been the most enchanting, funny toddler- she just hated being a baby!
on the amby front- cantsleepwontsleep is about to sell hers....

chef- hope dd's weight improves- it is worrying when they dip... has she had a 'grow' lengthwise at all? My dd used to drop a little after having a grow...
Also- 2nd the point on different scales- sometimes that can make a difference if one set is calibrated differently.

moose- theres a book about friendships (ie social etiquette) for children with asd tendencies which may be useful for ds1... will try to find a link later.

rrayray- ugh for plumber issues.

Well- as above- DS has put on 2lb in 2 weeks
He is now in cotbed, 3-6 clothes, and we moved from size 1 to size 3 nappies!
GP gave me the allclear to drive yesterday, so I am v happy, and hopefully will be going to look at new cars tomorrow... we're after a picasso too...

moose found it- here - I think it was mentioned on the 'born out of my due time' thread early on... its not just about friendships per se, also about how social interaction works. Might help.
I think Kerrymum talked about it too- her ds1 had issues I think.

wow eppp he is doing well

bracken is in size 1 nappies still very nearly into size 2, is in 0-3 month clothes and 3-6 month vests and sleepsuits she is very long

Thanks EPPM I have looked at quite a few different books on Amazon and not come across that one. Am intending to order a few this weekend so will add that one to my basket.

Well, DH was less than no help. It would seem offering to have the afternoon off to 'help out' was actually DH speak for 'I have a list of things I want to get done before tomorrow'. I ended up in all afternoon with the kids while he went out and about to various places getting 'his stuff' done. Then he came home and made pizzas with the boys (something I had been looking forward to doing) and then left for a meeting with a potential client (in the pub of course).

DD is not at all happy, but then colds always feel worse at night don't they. Poor little bug is so snotty and grunty, the only place she is happy is on my shoulder or in her swing (but then only if she is asleep when I put her in there).

Picking up our new car tomorrow!

Ooh, lots of posts to catch up on - for now, good to see you back tree, we really missed you. Yey for new car MM, and you sound generally much more positive. Ray impressed that you got out for dinner - did you leave some EBM behind? I guess we could go out too, but not sure I wouldn't just fall asleep over my meal!

Nice day today - OH working, so hung out at my Mum's and got 'mothered' while I did my own mothering - it's amazing how much easier everything seems when someone is looking after you, bringing you nice drinks and making you comfortable. Grannies are brilliant inventions and I hope you all have a good one nearby - she is as obsessed as I am with him!

Swing arrived today but just got in, and too late to start attempting to assemble it!

re; the weight thing. she jumped from one curve to another from the midwifes to the doctor. that was the concern. the doctor didn't record my weigh in. i think she is just fine because i notice she is gaining weight but most change was in length. i'm not going to fret about it. its just hard with the doctor. ah well. DD will see the ped. in next week and the doctor in two so we'll go from there.

moosemama for DD. hope she fairs better faster.

MissJ No i didn't leave any EBM Behind, well yes, i did in sorts, there was a bottle in the fridge, but the teat wasnt attached or anything, and sister in law would be clueless, so in effect no. But i fed her JUST as i went out the door, and we were only 2 hours. If i'd been home myself and she'd woken, i would have settled her without feeding her, so i didn't see any point in leaving any milk. It was a massive hurdle, and i'm glad that i did it now. Although when i got home i had to resist the urge to wake her up and cuddle her! next "leaving" is 24th march, we're off to a concert, so will leave emergency milk that time- her granny is baby sitting that time. My mother too is obsessed with Esme, but unfortunately lives 2+ hours away. She has been up everyweekend since she was born (usually on the fri as she doesnt work then) which is a minimum of 5 hours round trip!

moose Esme is so snuffly at night too at the moment. Hope our LO's are better soon!

tink Esme in Size 1 nappies, Tiny baby Vests (STILL) and Newborn baby grows... she would still be in the tiny baby grows, but she has the LONGEST legs ever!!! Finally found a Dress thats small enough to fit her- i've posted a picture on the Facebook group, with a little Bow on her head too!!! [Grin]