Thank you so much Sibh, you got it spot on. I had thought I was done with the grieving for the fantasy non-Asperger Noah that never existed but I guess I'll never completely let go because parents can never be complacent. And now Kurt is always going to be there to remind me of what a different Noah could have been like, guess I've been feeling guilty about that but everyday he's becoming his own person more and more so in that sense it will get easier to separate things.
What was the name of that poem btw, can't access the link?
Hope something happens for your DS's friend. If you get desperately frustrated you could always get a cheap Tony Attwood book off Ebay and give it to them /post it anonymously?
BTW if it's the Gary Oldman Dracula it's not scary - just rubbish sets, cheesey screenwipes and dated effects. Oh and Keanu Reeves being pretty but wooden of course!