June 2008: Nine months in, nine months out

[Essie3]

Here's to the next nine months!

I love love love the video sponge!!!!

In Aberdeen everyone does go to their local school basically. The problem is that the area we were living was all low income housing (ex-coucil and current council, tax bands A,B,C only) and it was such a big area that the school didn't pull from any middle-class housing. Basically there weren't enough concerned parents to pull the school up (and it wasn't the worst of the schools, those are in the even cheaper housing areas). It's exactly what you'd expect to happen when housing is so segregated by price. Now that we're in a small village it's much more of a mix (every single band within the village itself) and therefore I can be idealistic and send my kids to the local school!

If my DH cleared his tools out of the utility room then I could get a breadmaker and put it in there - then the sound of it turning on each morning wouldn't wake DS1 (who's room is next to the kitchen - he's a pretty sound sleeper as he sleeps through coffee and breakfast each morning but the coffee grinder would wake him so we grind the beans the night before).

Sponge what a brilliant video!! I am so so happy for you guys. You are clearly loving every minute of achieving your lifetime's ambition (aren't we all?)

Josey have been thinking about you and your gorgeous girl in the light of the Cameron's sad news.

Five ouraged at the HV. I haven't seen mine since babypearls was three months old...aside from the fact that she reminds me of my MIL she has a shit attitde generally and have subsequently discovered others who think the same. I'm tempted to ut in a letter of complaint, not least because I have PND and she hasn't once checked I am OK in the six months that I have been AWOL. Needless to say we are still waiting for our 8-12 month appointment.

Lakeland is heaven. I can never have too much crap kichen stuff.

Poppy we have that bread machine. DH makes fruit loaf at the weekend and there is nothing more wonderful than waking up to the smell of a fruity cinnamony loaf...

Re: schools we have moved, by pure chance, into the catchment for the best primary school in the area. It's attached to our local church and attendance is one of the things they look at if places are oversubscribed. We have been told that "you live so close to the school you could be Hindu and get in. You could be agnostic." Aside from the oddness of the comment, it's good to know. DH and I both went to boarding school and loved it. (I'd like to think we're not big tossers Neenz )
We would like babypearls to go too but even if she doesn't want to we will look at private school down the line. Whilst she is young though, I want her as close as possible so that we can walk to school rather than having to invest in a giant 4X4 (someone told me they are a requirement for the school run)

Thank you all for your kind thoughts, I felt quite selfish after I posted, as its not really about me, its very difficult to see it so full on in the news and the papers. Im used to just taking day at a time and as she is still a baby and its becoming obviouse its not soooo apparent at the moment. People that see her everyday are shocked when I tell them IYKWIM.

AH I have a redundant breadmaker, I could never work it and the novelty wore off for DH!

Also I forgot to get back to you re tomorrow or SAT, As long as I have Rhianna at the school for 1pm tomorrow is fine, or if you would rather give your DH sat off to cycle Im also free then(your prob buzy now though with my lack of communication)

Got Physio and OT this avo hoping they can help with the pain in Oli's legs she seems to get super tight hams at night

I have worked out to upload short clips on FB so will get some of her at physio today let you all see how she is progressing/or not.

Neeze, she is a complete pleasure, she does give so much back just in a different way. Generally children with CP there mind isnt disabled in anyway its only there body, some have major learning difficulties as well though. Olivia has a huge personality, we just think we are lucky to have her.

josey - don't feel selfish at all - it upset me as a mother and I don't have the added concerns you have. It's heartbreaking for their family, I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child. And it'll be great to catch up again. DS1 will be thrilled to see your DD1 and I can't wait to give O a cuddle!

AH DD is hyper I want to go NOW lol!

5go mad I meant to ask, how did your friend cope? would be interested re my other children. Its also interesting that another family member has it also, they say its not something that is in the genes though you tend to find that, if the cause has been from the Womb its higher risk of happening again.

On speaking to others who work with CP children they say they are the ones you get the most from even with there such limited abilities.

God im away ive set myself off again.

Josey, you are definitely not being selfish. Its such a sad story, any mother would be upset by it. You and Oli seems to be doing so well though, I am in awe of you.

We also have a breadmaker but never use it as the bread never tasted very nice. Maybe a more expensive model... But no. DH would go mad!

My dh would also like our kids to go to private school, but I am not sure. It's not just about education but their friends. DS1 (7) has such strong friendships with his classmates that I know he wants to go to the boys school with them. Dh has mentioned him going to a different school before and he was most upset by the thought of not being with his friends. I appreciate that he would make new friends but where would that leave him with the local kids? I want him to be able to play out with his mates who live on our street, and if he is a snobby private school lad will that be likely? (not private school but slum school myself!)

Just a quick one - I've just spent 20 mins translating the Welsh law of wetnursing and childrearing!
I can report that in medieval Wales...
Exclusive bf by the mother for 3 months if poss, but the nine months of pg count as time spent 'rearing' the child!
Then the mother herself may continue to bf, but can farm the kid out to another if she wants. The other gets a cow and a massive pile of the best grain.
Weaning was purees with sheep milk!

essiethat is fascinating

joseyoli is so gorgeous - I am looking forward to seeing the video. It must be tough hearing the news but the one day at a time thing seems only way it could get through.

puree that is comforting to know re your school - not sure if it applies to the one at end of our road but as we'd already put edie down for the one her dss went to it seems rather irrelevant (plus can see why it would be poor to take a place for someone with genuine faith -although I suspect that is in the minority with most of the people round here if I'm brutally honest).

Edie has cold - seems fine now (we went to sing and story at library for first time whcih she like fora few minutes but then fell asleep!) - was up multiple times in night cos couldnt breath so ended up sleeping part of night on me or being resettled -tried medised (first lot was mostly spat out so think it only really kicked in on second dose at 5am)..any other tips apart from tipping cot slightly? I've got karvol inhaler thingy...

Its a bit of a pain as I think swimming tomorrow will be out if she is still like this (no fever as such but very congested).

trying brioche in breadmaker now so will report back -and yes it will be a five minute wonder

Just a quick one to say that one of the HVs (not our usual one) has just called me to ask me if she can come round next week to talk about/help with P's sleep! Bloomin heck!!! I have just explained to P that the NHS think his sleep is worth spending their budget on, so it's time he pulled himself together. Last night was less good, not a disaster, but still room for improvement, so I have taken up her offer.

Josey - not selfish at all. I felt upset about it yesterday partly as a mother and partly because I know you (sort of over Internet) and Oli. So your reaction is exactly what I would expect of a loving mum.

Poppy - my tip for coldy babies is the Vicks vaporiser - it's a big container which you fill with water and it has a heating element that makes steam. I put olbas oil in the little cup at the front. It's the only way that Luke manages to get some sleep. He has a terrible cold at the mo plus a chest infection and conjunctivitis. Took him to the docs today so now have to eye drop him and give him anti Bs poor lamb.

Sorry for not posting much but I'm so busy at work and then knackered in the evenings especially since Luke's been poorly as he wakes up so much in the night.

Love to all though. x

thanks for tip amber and sorry to hear about poor luke - hope he is better soon...

ali how did p respond to his talking to ?

Caitlin has gone on a nursing strike!! She bit me while feeding yesterday and I said 'no' sharply and pulled away (as you do) - she got really really upset and since then she has been extremely distressed, screaming and arching any time my boobs have come near her. Which made for a rather unpleasant and screamy night! Otherwise she's fine, eating and drinking, happy to take EBM from a cup - though I am getting her ears checked this afternoon just in case it's an ear infection. I feel terrible, like I have traumatised her . Managed to speak to bf consultant who says just keep trying v. gently with her, doing the things you'd do with a newborn who won't feed, lots of skin to skin, calm quiet place, no pressure, maybe bathing with her - and it should hopefully only last a couple of days. I really hope we can sort this out!

Plus there was a power cut on our street this morning so the morning was completely chaotic. And it would have been my dad's 68th birthday today which leaves me a bit wobbly.

josey been thinking of you and Oli lots too. Also saw this today in our uni newsletter, sad news but wanted to post it as it underlines what you were saying about CP not necessarily linked to learning disability, and the possibilities open to Oli - who knows what she might achieve!

"The death has been announced of honorary graduate and award-winning Irish author Christopher Nolan, 43. Christopher, who suffered from cerebral palsy due to being deprived of oxygen during his birth, used a pointer attached to his head to write three books, one of which won the Whitbread Prize in 1988. In 1999, his novel The Banyan Tree, which chronicles the life of Westmeath woman Minnie O'Brien, was published to critical acclaim. His talent earned him a number of other honours during his lifetime, including the Medal of Excellence from the United Nation?s Society of Writers and an Honorary Doctorate of Letters by Lancaster University, which was conferred in 1991."

Poppy - he gurgled at me.

Systems - that's an amazing life story. Sorry that you are feeling wobbly today...

and also Systems, good luck with the nursing strike. Sounds like you don't need that right now. P has no teeth so biting is not an issue. He has started nicking the top of my boob with his index finger nail right next to his mouth so it hurts a bit. I imagine a bite is worse though.

systems hope you are able to get back on track with the bf. Don't feel guilty - what you did is in line with all the advice I've ever read

ali if you get any good tips on sleep please pass them my way!

Good news yesterday - got the go ahead on my flexible hours. The compressed hours won't be too bad as my working week is 35 hours rather than 37.5, and I tend to get in very early anyway. neenz I can see why you'd want to get in a bit later some evenings, as I find the 5-6pm period very busy! Hope you get your agreement on days sorted soon

Hello all,

sponge the video is really cute.

poppy Carrs breadmaking flour is very good. If you live in a very hard water area like I do you may have better results using bottled water.

Re school we moved house to get a good school for our children. We moved into our house just a couple of days beofre late applications had to be in. It is the local school to us, was outstanding in all areas in it's ofsted a few months ago and really has a nice atmosphere too. My local secondary schools aren't as good but I am burying my head in the sand about that for now!

SA thankyou

I have put physio clips of Oli on FB ignore the singing lol! x

Ali, of course John Major also ran away from the circus to become an accountant!!

AH, yes, that is exactly the prob with schools in this country sadly. And it is hard to be the only parent at a school who appears to give a shit. As much as I am completely behind the state system I also have to think of Alex's well-being.

P&P, thank you . Am horrified at your HV - that is terrible. And you're right, in London you are banned from doing the school run unless you have a 4x4!

5, your HV sounds like a piece of work too . How do these people stay in a job?

josey, your reaction to little Ivan's death is totally understandable. Any news story that connects directly with your life is behind to hit you harder .

Btw, do you know that there are clubs that exist to provide support to siblings of children with disabilities? I don't know what's available in your area (and you've probably already been told all about this) but I'm sure your local authority would be able to point you in the right direction if you're interested.

Your videos are lovely .

sybil, lol at slum school kid! That's why I left my private school in the end, cos I lived on an estate with loads of kids from the local state school but felt totally out on a limb. Was much happier at the 'slum' school . I also got much better GCSE and A level results than all my friends from the posh school so glad my parents didn't carry on paying the fees!

Essie, like the idea of getting a cow when you have a child - could they wet nurse!

Sorry to hear about edie's and luke's cold, and caitlin's nursing strike - how stressful for you SA.

going, interesting tip on using bottled water for breadmaking.

bound, not behind

My news, went to hospital this morning as I had sharp pains in my right side travelling up to my shoulder. Was in pieces thinking it was all over .

The staff at A&E were amazing. I was transferred straight up to the EPU and scanned - and the pregnancy is IN UTERO!!

Have another scan booked for the 12th March when they can see the heartbeat hopefully.

They even suggested I be admitted for the night to get some rest (consultant looked at Alex and I think decided I would get more rest in hospital than at home!) but dh persuaded her that he would look after me so they let me come home.

Very scary but at least I'm one step closer now .

spongethat is great news but I can only imagine how very worried you must be. but that is one hurdle passed

re school run, my driving aversion combines with a bonkers theory that its not good for kids (if possible) to be dropped off at school (I'm not talking about 3 year olds here - I'm talking about 15 year olds)... its got to be good for your independence to learn to negotiate bus, walk etc (I know it was for mine). and sympahties re 4 by 4 - get loads of em parking up outside mine to go to school at end of road

I have finally caught up!

Firstly thanks for all your sympathies re my Nan.

Neenz My thoughts are with you too. I can sympathise with you. Sorry I'm a bit belated.

Sponge Massive congratulations on as you pout it 'a miracle'.

AH & Josey my thoughts were with you both last week when I heard about the helicopter ditching in the North Sea. Glad neither or your DH's were involved.

5 we don't share a HV as well as the MW do we? I've never rated mine as you well know.

Sad news about DC's son yesterday. Brought me to tears thinking about what if I lost either of my DC but then again I am quite emotional at the moment anyway. Doesn't help with being on morphine as I broke my elbow last week on holiday and onlt went to the hospital on Tuesday night as the pain wasn't getting any better.

Am now plastered and a little bit high . Went back to work today and only lasted until 1pm as can't do anything. It's taken me 1/2 to type this much with one hand. Changing Luke's nappy is a challenge too and as usual DH isn't around.

Right better go and try and prepare some tea.

Catch up later.

Oh and I've applied to join the FB group. My initials are T G-M if that helps.

As you know I'm also regularly posting on the July thread and we set up a group as soon as our babies were born. It's great for shring the photos etc. Well done viva

To anyone else I've missed 'Hello'.

OMG Sponge- how terrifying! I had exactly the same thing happen with babypearls, but you must be so delighted to be a step closer xxx

Poppy- people mdouble park on our road for church, not school

Systems, hope you get nursing strike sorted out.

Ali, I would LOVE to hear the NHS sleep tips.

Sponge - excellent news, really excellent.

Libra, take care - it's a long time since I've been plastered and/or high (does anyone else say plastered for pissed witless? Or is it a Geordie thing?). What were you thinking, going into work?? I hope you're staying off tomorrow.

Am jealous of anyone who has success with breadmakers, I failed miserably with mine - passed it on to DP's DDs. I have a friend who makes delicious stuff from hers.

I now have B's cold and feel like I've been kicked all over. DP away til Sunday, so am feeling v sorry for myself. Also B had rabbit pellet poos yesterday (there is no thing as TMI regarding crap on this thread is there??!), so I gave him one of the Ella's pouch things - butternut squash, prunes, apple and carrot - which he happily wolfed down, but MY GOD, I have been dealing with the aftermath all day. Can't remember changing this many nappies since he was tiny! At least my cold means I can't smell it very much. Small mercies etc.

oh libra poor you with your elbow...

puree strangely there is no double parking down our road on a sunday hence my cynicism about volume of people who go to church for a short period to get their forms signed for the school....

and you've reminded me puree that I had terrible pains in either side of lower stomach during first trimester (I became convinced I was losing her - although evidence is obviously otherwise as she is cheerfully bouncing at me probably reserving kicking off/tears til 2am ).