November 08 - Say it LOUD.......We're shades of GINGER and PROUD :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

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Hello Umsami welcome to our sometimes crazy thread

lolabella one of my GFs said to me last week she was worried about me cause there was always dishes waiting to be done and was I coping OK - She has no children!
I explained as best I could there was more to life then cleaning when you have kids! That question puts it all into perspective

Good morning all. I just thought i would check in. DD2 has spent the weekend at my mums which has been heaven, but last night dh was up all night throwing up, apparently there is a really nasty bug going around our way and he seems to have caught it. I really hope me and the kids don't get it especially O as he is still having bf nappies so how the hell would i know if he had a runny bum as it is like that all the time.

Thanks Dozy for your post, it really helps Monkey and others, sorry you've been feeling down, it is a huge adjustment. I'm another one who has been trying to do too much, work in my case as I'm self-employed. I haven't found the right balance yet but I will get there! DH surprised me yesterday by taking E to see his mum so I had a morning off! I went to the gym and did some gardening for the first time in months. It was lovely to be "off duty" so to speak for a few hours and to just potter around on my own.
E is another one with the snuffles - she woke up twice during the night with a blocked up nose but thanks to saline drops and olbas oil she was soon back to sleep. Seems OK this morning apart from the odd sneeze and a dry cough, which she's had before. Not sure if it's a real cold or down to jabs/teething.
Welcome Umsami Lots of lovely ladies and good advice on here.
Roca Welcome back Somebody posted some tips on getting LO to take a bottle sometime last week. Will she take one from DH or not at all? I think there were some teat recommendations in the post and it was also suggested that you sit baby facing away from you and feed that way IIRC.
Hope everybody has a lovely Sunday. E and I are off to the beach for a walk with my Mum. DH's turn to have some time off! We've just bought one of those baby back-carriers so I'm going to give it a go. It's lovely and sunny at the moment - let's hope it lasts!

Hi Crici - thanks for bottle tips - DH is the one who has been tring and we have tried a few different teats and facing outwards etc. Have left it for a week or so so gonna try again or may have to wait until weaning.

Am very jealous of you going for a walk along the beach - wow, how lovely. I have to do a stock take from the online shop I have from the boxes under my bed. Then clean my room to put the boxes away and try to work out how to fit a cot in the room - DD2 is currently in a little rocking crib next to us. We have just 2 bed house so other 2 share at the mo and don't want baby in with them yet as they still create at bed time and baby still not in any set routine.

Feel a bit bad as put a sarcy (sp) post up in weaning - I just checked on there to get a reminder on things and it seems its all a big thing over when to start, whether to let them do it themselves or use purees etc - I just think we have enough to be worrying about, but wish I hadn't posted that now!

Roca i totally agree. I know babies can be weaned from 17 weeks and shops sell food suitable from 4 months but if you so much as even mention early weaning then you get shot down and guidelines spouted at you i agree all very confusing. It's amazing though the number of people in RL who choose to wean before 26 weeks.

I was taking the piss a bit but only coz I had a RL friend telling me that there is no way that babies should be given anything before 6 mos and it just made me chuckle a bit. Thanks Lolabella, I was waiting to be shouted at.

Just seen your thread

Morning all of should I say afternoon now
to all of you who have lost your parents. I dont know what I would have done without my mum after I had my first DD. She was so supportive to me when I went through PND she would come up to my house every night after her work and was always on the phone (still is). My MIL was great also she didnt work and would tell me to come up and would make me my dinner etc, It was company that I needed before I had DD1 I was never in the house always at my friends or out and as Dozy says it is such a change of lifestyle and takes some getting used to! Dozy lovely wise words by the way and can fully relate to them. My sister had her DD when she was sixteen and they have a great relationship and she is a great mum but since her DD was a baby she has been at my mums on a friday night and her dads house on a saturday night so my sis has had free weekends ever since, She split with the father when her dd was 2. I couldn' t do it tho (never really had the offer either). I enjoy going out dont get me wrong but I feel really happy and satisfied when both my DD's are in bed sleeping and me and DH having a nice evening. I think that was a contributing factor to my PND (I kept having panic attacks) I felt that for once everything was right in my life so sods law would be that something would go wrong! Does anyone else think like that or is it just me??
Welcome Umsami the ladies on here are all lovely .
Hope you feel better soon monkey you do not have to be super woman
chocolatgal glad you enjoyed the killers hope E better soon oh were they throwing drink at the killers?? When I was there last week seeing Kaiser chiefs I was right in the middle and kept getting soaked!

Ladybuzz lol at your GF and your dishes!
lola they are just guidelines and recommendations every baby is different dont think there is a right or a wrong time. I have weened both DD at 17 weeks was gonna try and wait this time but M was showing signs so tried her with some baby rice and she loves it with some apple or pears, nothing comes back out of her mouth!!
Oops written an essay here better go have had a lovely weekend went for an Indian on fri andwent to Ikea yesterday DH goes away for another month tomorrow
Waves to everyone else!

Afternoon

Just checking in - was at my parents house yesterday so didn't get home till late and no chance to MN Was lovely though - all my parents' 6 grandchildren together (it doesn't happen very often as my brother lives in Scotland) - was very very chaotic though

Welcome UmSami

Just to make Merry feel better - I didn't know who the Killers were and have just listened to that link - and I still don't know I am so out of touch (I used to be such a music fiend aswell) - when the lead singer from the Killers presented the Pet Shop Boys with their award at the Brits I had to ask my friend who the hell he was

Dh taken the boys to MIL for the afternoon so going to watch Burnley --get- soundly beaten play Arsenal now

Roca Think I would have been better off cleaning at home too tbh. Walk along the beach was not exactly a success. E was quite happy in the baby carrier in one direction with the wind behind us but as soon as we walked back the other way it was a nightmare! She got no protection from me as she was too high up so I ended up taking her out and carrying her and she screamed all the way back to the car Wish I'd taken the sling instead! My mum was trying to keep my sister's disobedient dog under control so wasn't able to help much. Once back in the car as I was giving her a bottle she did one of her explosive poo specials so I ended up having to change her from head to foot on the back seat of the car. Cue even more screaming. I was so glad to get home! She's now sound asleep in the sling.
Hope everybody else had a better afternoon!
Ellielou Sorry to hear your DH is off again for a month. There are quite a few ladies on here having to manage without their DH's aren't there? Mine works shifts but at least he's around for some of the day.
Weaning - I'm planning to wait until 26 weeks. Most of my NCT friends have started already, although their babies are at least 2 weeks older than E. E still has the tongue reflex so she's not ready yet in any case. She loves sitting in her high chair at the table though - DH and I are foodies too and we're hoping she'll be as interested in food as we are

hello! some much i want to respond to after being awol for a while...

chocolategal - you're right about a commission! in the last few weeks after reading various things on this thread we have bought a jumperoo, a bumbo, nelson's teetha and lush's dream cream! much more effective than marketing!

on bottle feeding - M took a bottle for the first time last weekend after a few tries...despite the normal advice he took it from me and after a feed. we tried when he was hungry but it just made him frustrated and upset. after a feed he was a bit sleepy and relaxed and after playing with the teat for a while (just normal avent one), he started drinking. yay! although lolabella i wish i had read your suggestion earlier re: 1 ounce bottles - would have saved us tipping around 6 ounces away!

monkey and dozy and others - thanks for posting - definitely resonated with me. I'm still trying to work out my new life with M - it's not the 'adult' part of my before kids life as such, just trying to work out the balance of M/DP/chores/personal expression/mindless fun/essential relaxation etc. finding it tough, especially with extra night wakings... monkey - we are generally catching up with friends for brunch/lunch on weekends which works well for both us and M. I can recommend yum cha especially - most times he sleeps though if we go at nap time but otherwise he loves the chaotic atmosphere - plus you can eat with one hand!! anyway, case in point, DP just driving me crazy with constant chat when he is looking after M to give me some 'free' time...i think sometimes he's just as demanding/exhausting as M!! but that's a whole other post...

and thanks to those who posted on hair loss! i was perplexed as to why drain in shower kept getting blocked - was my hair! and it seems M constantly has a strand of my hair clenched in his little fist...

has anyone switched from bassinet to seat in their buggy/pram/whatever you call it (if you have one that does that)? we tried M in the seat today and he LOVED it but not sure if it's too early to switch or it's just me not wanting him to grow up too fast...?!

oh, and have found a lovely nursery for M for when i go back to work in 2 months . so that's one thing less to worry about...

i know there's loads i have missed. hugs to everyone.

and wanted to say to whoever mentioned skype - we use it all the time (especially for video calls to australia so family can see our little boy) - it's brilliant!

aww sorry your lovely walk didnt turn out to be so lovely cricri!! You will have to update me on FB if you have had your paeds appt and AB's stopped.

ellielou yep, lots of drink throwing!! Left the concert rather sticky!! Bet its a thought that your DH going away again must must must arrange a catch up!!

londonboots ive bought everything on your list too except the bumbo, ive heard lots of babies not liking them so am keen to find someone who has one so E can try it.
ellielou you got one???? LOL

Oh also londonboots i have put DS in the buggy bit of pram a few times as he seems to really like looking out at everything. Still use the carrycot bit when we go for a longer walk and i want him to nap though!

I remember once a friend of my parents were talking about her impending arrival and she was saying 'oh my life wont change one bit when the babys here' and my dad replied 'then whats the point you may as well not bother and save yourself a fortune'

its finding the balance as londonboots said

We took Henry to brighton a few days ago so he could see the sea - he loved being carried around on the pier but the wind at times

With regards to weaning - im completely going with Henry on this one, dont care if its next week or next month. Does anyone else find the syptoms for weaning confusing? I mean they say their ready if they eat alot more or wake in the night (but could be a growth spurt) starts chewing their hands (but could be teething)

Happy Sunday to you all. I didn't know it was International Women's Day - thanks for that too hana. Roca, I didn't know anyone at Longdean. I don't think I knew anyone in the year above me at Cavvy. I also have a very bad memory...what is your online shop?

chocolategal, my ds1 loved the Bumbo, so much so we took it to Greece on holiday and it was a lifesaver! The littl'uns haven't taken to it though as yet, maybe too early.

londonboots, I took the carrycots off my pushchair last week. Partly they were getting quite small as it is a double buggy and they were narrow! Also I was sick of having to take them off just to get out of the house! (I can't get my pushchair out without folding it, so had to take carrycots off and it was a real faff. It pretty much lies flat anyway and is suitable from birth as a pushchair. It doesn't seem to have made any difference to them, they still just go to sleep in it!

Ceebee, thank goodness I am not the only one! Thanks for owning up. I too listened to the link and never heard the song, but quite liked it, it's very 80's. I lead a sheltered life, about 30 mins of radion PER WEEK! A bit of telly on in the morning but usually BBC. At least you watched the Brits .

weaning, some friends of mine were laughing at me today that I haven't weaned yet!! Hee hee. I'm not sure I'll know when babies are 'ready'. DD is reaching and putting things in her mouth, ds2 is not, but drinks a lot more than her. I think she is just more developed, but maybe her gut isn't, she's waking a lot in the night. I'll keep waiting for the time being, probably till 6 mths. I just go 6 mths from their birthdate. I waited till 6mths with ds1. He ate and loved everything till he was 1. Then he got very fussy and still has real problems with food . I took a picture of him in his new pants today! I can see his ribs very clearly.

Pinxy, how are you?

Not seen obs, she must be having fun un RL!

Dozy, words of wisdom. See why you're a journo!

Afternoon ll
dozy thanks so much for writing that so eloquently . I must admit it made me sad, but in a good way. I just need to know I have not lost my identity - i do feel rather like a cleaner/milkmaid at the moment, and I am struggling with the lack of positive external feedback that I used to get through being good at my job. I feel like my life is very confined at the moment, which would be OK if me and DH were good but we are very up and down. When its up its really good but when its down its horrid.

oops baby crying gotta go.....

I keep looking at the next part of the pram but also feel sad that she will have finished with the carrycot IYSWIM! Want her to stay a baby!

Tried her with a bottle today, another no taker! Went for lunch with MIL as DH away but ended up breast feeding her Still very snuffily.

Getting haor cut tomorrow - Yeah, want it a lot shorter and perhaps a side fringe

Better go, more ironing to do!

If any Londoners are interested in a Leapfrog Learn and Groove as recommended by Dozy there is one for sale here on Gumtree for £15.

evening all

Hi to Umsami. We talked before on a Phil and Teds thread. Did you get one in the end?

Great post Dozy, and not preachy at all.

Roca, it's what comes of being the youngest of four children and the last to sprog ....loads of experience with nephews and niece before my brood. My sis son was fine, no sickier than any other baby. He is a tiddler though; will be 10 this year but my 7yo DS1 is the same size as him (if not taller). Saying that though my sis is under 5foot and her DH is only 5'4 so DN was never going to be a giant.

Took DS to a birthday party at the bowling alley this afternoon. I'm really friendly with the little boys mum, so I stayed and had a game of bowling with her and her DP while the kids were doing their thing. It was great fun. Bumble had a great time as well and looked like he was desperate to join in.

Pumping going well now. I have enough for four good sized feeds and a few little top ups. Looks like we won't need to give him formula after all...yay . I'm now starting to be more worried about how DH will cope with three kids in his own rather than how bumble is going to cope without me.

can't remember who asked, but according to my HV, hand chewing is now recognised as just a developmental thing and nothing to do with being a sign of weaning, and that if they are waking in the night the best thing for them is more milk. bumble is looking interested in reaching out for things but can't quite get co-ordinated yet. He seems less co-ordinated than DD was at this age, so it'll probably be nearer 26 weeks before we start to wean.

Dozy your pearls of wisdom were brilliantly articulated. You are so right.
I do realise that life is always going to be very different - but the competitive/proud part of me wanted to prove to my friends/DH that I could STILL pull off a fabulous dinner party whilst maintaining a tidy house, and a happy baby. I feel lucky that I had an amazingly selfish life BC - lots of lovely holidays, boozy nights/lunches, work trips/jollies etc etc. I am totally happy to move my life forward - it's just sometimes I feel like I'm indispensable. Plus DH expects the same level of service from me as he had before - i.e. delicious supper on table every night.
I've asked him to cook twice a week to give me a rest.
Oh bugger - baby's awake. This never used to happen.

P.S. Lacks - Ragdale is amazing - i love it there! xx

sausage, I felt exactly like you do when I had ds1, the lack of esteem boosting appreciation from work, and very obvious 'achievments' - plus a lot of difficulties with dh. Can so relate to you.

It's taken me 3 years to get my head round it to be honest with you and also many, many,MANY conversations with my dh and antidepressants at one point. Dh is now better at being appreciative of what I do and I am getting better at appreciating myself, but it takes some time and training to see it because it's not obvious. And you can't measure yourself against your kids (how big, developed, well behaved, kind etc. they are) either 'cos that will do their head in!

I think as ds1 grew I gradually felt more confident about my parenting. Not that I am the best parent in the world, but that I am adequate and I like doing it. When having triplets this time last year I thought, wow, someone up there thinks I can do this - and my Mum said it was because I was such a good Mum to ds1 (just about the nicest thing she ever said to me). Well, it was just twins in the end! But still felt like: this is obviously now my 'calling'. I want to be a Mum and I need to feel good about it and not feel like I'm JUST a Mum.

It's not very eloquent, sorry! But definitely can relate to how you feel and kinda brought back memories of how I felt this time 3 years ago!

Sorry - last post cut short as LO woke up.

merryM thanks for sharing - i'm glad you now appreciate the amazing job you do looking after 3 little ones. You are incredible, really you are.

sausage I also feel a little like a Milk machine. Esp. as LO won't take a bottle, I feel like I can't ever leave her for more than a very short time.

Today was the tree planting ceremony to commemorate the baby girl of our neighbours who died. It was lovely (despite the torrential rain, wind, thunder and lightening whilst standing in the park!) and I left DH at home with LO for 2 whole hours! It felt weird but I also really enjoyed it - being out on my own without her. Feel almost guilty how much I enjoyed the freedom!

cricri sorry to hear your walk on the beach didn't go so well. Poor little E getting the wind in her face!
Welcome Umasami and welcome back Roca. Ceebee hope you're happy that Arsenal did indeed thrash Burnley...harumph.

Lacks If you haven't been before, you are going to love Ragdale. There is a new spa which is amazing. I normally go with my Mum once a year as a treat. Not this year though unless LO starts to accept a bottle.

Question - could I try a cup instead of bottle at some point soon? When you start weaning, how many milk feeds are also required? I need to do some reading on this weaning thing, as I am clueless.

Also - please could someone remind me the name of the homeopathic teething remedy - it it Nelsons Granules?

Thanks everyone for supportive messages. It's amazing how up and down you can feel. Totally in love with LO, but sometimes feel totally rubbish as a mum.

Monkey I completely sympathise about your DH expecting the same service. My DH has been exactly the same with both DC - maybe not expecting a delicious supper but certainly expecting me to cook tea pretty much from day 1 As it is, both DC have been settled babies so it was never an issue but it COULD have been and he would still have wanted his tea made (btw, glad to see Burnley got their comeuppance at last )

Daisy well done on the pumping - great stuff! I am sure your DH will be fine and you should enjoy the rest as much as you can after an op

I also completely agree with Dozy - me and DH had a very selfish life before with loads of good holidays etc. That is the main reason why we were married for 9 years before DS1 arrived But by doing that, we were completely happy to 'give up' that life...although I still get pangs of 'how it used to be' - particularly around the weekends when me and DH used to lounge in bed with the papers until lunchtime. I always remember reading on here that you actually have to mourn your old life before you can fully move on and accept your new life and I truly believe that

This afternoon, Sam was on his baby gym with this by his hand. He managed to grab hold of the ring part and was quite happy moving it around the floor for about 5 minutes...and then he suddenly started screeching as he clearly couldn't work out how to let go and get his hand back