November 08 - Say it LOUD.......We're shades of GINGER and PROUD :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

This do??????

Hello all Daisy glad you are coping ok and Bumble every 2 hrs common give your mum a break !!!
I have a steamer that I use in a pan or a stacked electric one and then a whizzer chopper thing . Much cheaper and I don't think I can persuade dh to part with more money seeing as I have said I NEED a new pushchair !
DD has to go to nursery in costume on Friday and she wants to go as a fairy and upsy daisy- she got both for christmas so I think Upsy daisy will be having wings of I can do something inventive with wings and elastic !!

hello
Bit of a me thing coming up. Sorry in advance.

Went to see counselling lady today. She was lovely. Said what I was afraid she might say. Suspects M has some sort of mental disorder, as does sis most likely. Controlling delusional behaviour. F rejecting and abusive.

So all good, then.

I need counselling to free myself from their control (both their direct controlling behaviour and the 'conditioning' from my childhood. And my low self-esteem.

Unfortunatley a there's a long waiting list, so has suggested a voluntary service that may be able to see me sooner, or else I can go back to GP to get me bumped up as a priority. (SHe seemed keen for me to get help ASAP) I'm not sure about that as I am not in a 'crisis' as some people might be.

Not sure I fancy your weight-loss regime, Daisy, but everry cloud and all that, I guess

Pinky, I hope you are OK. I know from the counselling I've had in the past that it can leave you feeling very conflicted and muddled.....{{{{{hugs}}}}}

I think you should take up the voluntary thing if it will get you some regular sessions more quickly. And don't worry about not being in crisis and taking a place from someone more in need.....those who are in crisis tend to get seen immediately, so you aren't doing anyone out of the service, and tbh, if these things are impacting on your everyday life, then ime your need is pretty valid. I hope you found it useful though

I have ordered my copy of AK's book today....as well as Gill Rapley's book in readiness for bumble weaning.

I think he has been really unsettled with us being in the hospital and that combined with a growth spurt has caused the constant feeding. He seems much more settled today and has had a proper afternoon nap for the first time this week.

I made some spag bol with turkey mince for tea tonight......it hasn't been a great success. I need some decent low fat recipes that are family friendly as I don't want to have to cook two meals every night.

Pinky hugs to you I really hope you get something positive out of this. Like Daisy said don't feel you are taking someone elses place. You deserve it as much as anyone else does.

Daisy hope Bumble settles down soon, you poor thing!
I have a big low fat cook book thingy, I will have a look at it for you and see if there are any bright ideas.

Rosa good luck with the upsy daisy fairy

Sausage your list of things to do sounds alot like mine, which too gets transferred from day to day and doesn't get any smaller don't feel bad you will get into a routine eventually. Just enjoy being a mummy.

Thanks DAisy. It's quite a relief in some ways, that it's not all in my head and not my fault. but on the other it's hard not to think that if only I can change myself I can have a happy relationship with my parents and siblings. somehow feeling it was my fault had its comforts.

ThAT sounds very messe up, doesn't it?

RE the low fat thing i can only really think of vegetarian recipes that are very low in fat. how would some meat substitues go down with your diet and the famnily. I know quorn is very low fat.

Hi Daisy - was going to say the same thing as pinky. Although I love meat I do quite often use quorn instead in cooking, especially things like spag bol and sheps pie. Partly because it is low in fat, and partly because I'm disorganized so always keep a bag in the freezer as you can cook it from frozen

oops x posts LB thanks.

Howe are you feeling today?

I think stir fry is low fat (much as the fry bit doesn't sound like it is!), but not sure about all the salt in soy sauce.

Poor you, daisy. You wished to lose weight, you weren't expecting this though! I have totally gone off any sort of 'diet' (avoiding chocs, cakes, biscuits) and am absolutely stuffing myself. Almost wish for something drastic to stop it, but better not!

obs - this is the book five love languages

pinky, so sorry to hear this, but also glad that you are finding the truth. don't worry about others in crisis. Please go for it...you often get as much as you ask for. My friend got 3 sessions to deal with ganag rape as a teenager , but I don't think she was ready to deal with it properly so she did not ask for more. Agree with daisy that the voluntary route would be good. Got all my fingers crossed for you...and hugs, love etc.

oh, by the way pinky, i have had 3 years of therapy (on and off) from the nhs, just to deal with chronic fatigue - which is hardly 'crisis', so please please don't worry about pushing others out. Just go for it. I feel excited for you too!

I'm ok Pinky thanks. Doing some long hard thinking!

I think I also have a G&T baby Ceebee he is currently undressing himself with his mouth. he has one arm nearly out of its sleeve bless him!
Sam is a superstar

lol at the G and T babies. Bumble managed to stick his finger up his nose yesterday. He was very surprised by it

LB, I hope things are looking a bit clearer for you. Is there any way you can get away for a few days to give you some breathing space/thinking time?

when i first read G+T babies, I immediately thought of the drink , took me a while to work out you meant gifted and talented!!!! I like the sound of the Love language "merry" I have read a few self helf books as I really like trying to assess the psychology of the mind and how it works/interacts.

Pinky I think you are amazing - what a brave think to admit that you almost find it comforting that it is your fault. With the right help, you will totally change your outlook and hopefully have a relationship with your family that doesn't mess you up.

Lacks you are such a trooper, are you still in pain or are they giving your pain relief? I 2nd stirfrys but also am sure that lean chicken and shellfish is ok for a low fat diet. What about if you use lean mince and drain the fat off????

Hello everyone else!!

H ha Dozy - like you, I also thought of Gin and Tonic....god I haven't had one of those for a long time. Even though I've had several glasses of champagne and wine since giving birth, something makes me steer clear of spirits - even though logically a single G+T is far less alcoholic than a glass of wine.

Lacks Whilst loose poo and low-fat diet enforced on you is a ball-ache, just think of the end-game, as ceebee says, you'll be a proper Skinny Minny! (love that description)!
Low-fat - lean chicken breasts, prawns, pulses/beans etc. You must make sure you get enough protein - often people virtually cut this out when going onto a very low-fat diet.

pinky you are very brave going into counselling to deal with your M issues. I really hope this helps you deal with the issues, and possibly rebuild your relationship with her.

Sae frost/nixon today (v.good!) then had curry lunch in the arts centre where films was showing with DH and LO. Lovely day.
The funniest thing was during the big climactic scene where Frost gets Nixon to admit his wrong doings; there's a dramatic pregnant pause, during which the Little Plum decided that that would be a good time to do a rip-roaring poo that literally had 10 rows of people giggling. It was tres funny! . That's my girl!

Dozy teachers often call their G&T's gin and tonics.

Imi could nearly get her whole dress front in her mouth today- does she get a prize, too?

Pinkglow I think was asking about the fighting thing. I think the basic principles are the same as for any of the other things. Describe what you see, recognise their feelings, make them aware of your own, where possible allow the children to work it out for themselves.If they are really wound up I separate them for a bit and then get them co operating once they have cooled down.
There's lots about it in Siblings without Rivalry.
I'm going to try a brainstroming session with mine tomorrow, to try to stop DD1 biting DS. Should be fun!

Thanks for everyone's kind words. DozyIt is a sort of comfort- makes me feel like s**t, but at least it seemed as though I could make things better, also, when I do whatever my parents want I get some sort of feeling of approval from them, however fleeting- but I realise now that is not the way forward.
Counsellor advised me that I didn't need to se any of them (family) at all. We have a family event coming up which I am dreading, but we'll just go for a few hours and that's it.

Merry I think you have done so well,

Those who had therapy, can I ask, did the therapy help? I worry because my sister has had loads and is still a mess she is quite a drain on me emotionally, too.

MOnkey I'm not sure I will get a meaningful relationship with my family- they would have to sort themselves out, too, but at least my contact with them could be on my terms. Evene that idea seems like a huge task at the moment.

Love Plumski's perfect comedy timing!

Sorry missed a bit out there. Merry you have done so well, given the way your m was, you come across as a very emotionally nurturing person, if that makes sense.

thanks minxy, i don't think i am at all...gotta a long way to go. i can't handle people crying on me! my dh is fantastic though so am learning. tbh, i think a lot of my 'issues' are more recent and to do with the illness. the therapy did help me a lot. at the time i think it can sometimes bring lots up and feel like it's not helping, but once it's all calmed down again i would say i have definitely made progress especially in thinking more positively about myself and just being more self aware in general. so sorry your sis is long term messed up by this - hope it's more helpful for you. the therapy i had was called cognitive behaviour therapy, and it is quite practical with end goals etc. in mind, IYSWIM so you don't spend too long going round in circles.

margot - hee hee for plumski's pooski!

the turkey mince spag bol was actually not too bad, although no added fat meant it didn't have a great mouth feel. It's a good way of experimenting with cookery this I suppose as I was getting very boring in my repertoire.

Dozy, the pain has mostly gone now, but I'm aware of a dull ache in that area and that it's been there for a lot longer than I care to think.....at least three years!! Little meals often seems to be the way forward as I had a big tea last night and felt it getting sore. I also don't really know what my main triggers are (common ones are fat, spicy, citrus, fizzy), so am a bit scared of everything I eat at the minute. I'm under 12st for the first time since before I was pregnant with DD though!

I think we are all pretty amazing on this thread, given that most of us have been through some pretty traumatic experiences and can bring some of our expereinces in to help others out. We are a pretty fantastic support network

thanks merry. You lot on here are soo helpful. I don't think I would have got this far without all the support on here. I worry about talking about it too much -i don't want to bring up upsets for people, so I hope you don't mind me asking.
My sis has had CBT, but she just seems lost, to me - stuck in a very tragic loop.
I think it's actually what DH is trying to get me to stop and think through,, and to pre-empt things a bit instead of reacting. And that is working- though it is driving m a bit mad, I can tell. SHe knows I'm doing things that I am not telling her about. But it's getting easier for me to do, before I would have caved in and blabbed everything out of guilt.

I think I may need a few session of just going on and on about things, as
a) I love to talk and
b) I think there is a lot that I have wanted to say, but have never felt able to.

i agree daisy. we are cool! now i must, must go to bed. i must. ooooh, MN is too addictive.

Yeah...we rock.
Just finished my book for book club - Yay! It's The Great Gatsby. I didn't think it was that great tbh!
night all - xx

I love Gatsby; it's one of my all time favourites.

i "did" gatsby at school. did not dig it at the time but came to adore it later. at the moment my reading material is restricted to MN and three week old sunday supplements that i have filed in the loo as that seems to be the only time i ever get 5 mins to myself.

daisy - i tried this recipe a few weeks ago and it was yummy. low fat but very tasty.

Ingredients
2 free-range chicken beasts, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 lime, zest and juice
1 tbsp olive oil
150ml/5½fl oz low fat coconut milk
1 tbsp Thai fish sauce (nam pla)
4 tbsp roughly chopped fresh coriander leaves
4 spring onions, finely sliced
300g/10½oz brown rice

Method

1. Place the chicken pieces, lime zest and juice into a large bowl and toss through to coat thoroughly.

Coat in flour and seasoning.

1. Heat the olive oil in a large deep frying pan or wok over a high heat. Fry garlic, ginger, celery and onion base. Add the chicken pieces and stir-fry for 4-5 minutes, until golden-brown all over.
2. Add coconut milk, fish sauce, Add one pint chicjen stock and spring onions. two tablespoons of the coriander and half of the spring onions.

Cook for 30 mins or more to let flavour develop.

Serve with rice or noodles. Could add chopped red chilli kick to this dish if desired.

Trying to catch up as not been on for a couple of days (nights out for my bday .
obs - Hope you ok after hypo.
pinkyminky - Hugs lovey. Please get some help as long as you feel you need it. JUST REMEMBER WE ALL THINK YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON. WE ARE ALWAYS HERE.
sausage - WOW every 2 hours! EEK. You need a medal. I really could not cope with that and now feel bad for my -ve feelings when A wakes once in the night.
ceebee - DEF up for meeting up with our terrors amazing DSs. Sorry cant remeber are you parents at Doncaster? Anyway ... play areas there is "Monkey Bizness www.monkey-bizness.co.uk" at valley centertainment just around the corner from meadowhall, no been but a new place OR a wacky warehouse at Sir Jacks just off Bramley (ROTHERHAM) J1 - just down road from me. RUTH you want to join?

ME - Was my bday Wed (18th) and just had a nice day . Went for lunch with mum, dad, sis and DS and A. It was lovely. Went for surprise meal with DH on the eve just to a pub but lovely and felt a little like "old times". The surprise bit was that DH organised the meal and babysitting even if I did have to tell him to do so! As well as £ from family I got relaxing bath stuff (what are they keep trying to say ) and a digital photo frame from DH which I love. Thing is the frame is from Hong Kong, needs an amercian adapter and DH didnt buy me the adapter . He is now buying me the plug adapter DUH! Was a lovely day and a funny bit was when DS came back from shops with my mum and dad shouting me. I answered him and he said guess what mummy "we have buns and candles and I got you flowers" . So much for surprise. Also went for meal with a friend yesterday eve which was also fab.

vbab sounds like you have had a fantastic couple of days. Happy Belated birthday for Wednesday.

Wow what a talented bunch of babies we have

daisy I'm going to try to get away to my brothers for a couple of days - turn my phone off and hide from everyone!
Hope you are feeling better.

Hi everyone else