November 08 - Say it LOUD.......We're shades of GINGER and PROUD :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

This do??????

Afternoon, well day three of the holidays done. DD1 been an angel, Becca still a nightmare

Raining loads here today so stayed in and did my ironing ready for centre parcs on Friday.

Hope everyone else is ok. X

DMIf only everyone in the world did unconditionally love their children.

I'm sure everyone on here does. And most are bless with parents who make good role models. I know DH says he doesn't recall any time in his life where he thought his parents didn't love him.

Like Hana, i was very conditionbally parented. And the problem is that you spend more time on the wrong side of the 'conditions'.

A useful way I found of positively reinforcing is called 'mirroring' I think, which is especially good for babies and toddlers- where you sort of describe what the child is doing in an enthusiastic/interested manner without expressuing value judgeents about it. I can't remember where I got that tip from- maybe womans hour when DS was tiny. It's quite a good technique as it stops you sounding like a crazed life coach saying wow thart's great etc. all the time.

Quiet day here. lots of laundry folding.

that's it, hana.

I came across a number of children who were very talented when working with schools. What was interesting was that some would be reluctant to try different techniques as they were scared of not being brilliant straight away, and losing the approval of both their teacher and their peers.

As you say DM the notion that it's ok to fail/not win occaisonally is a good one- so long as it isn't used as a way of "taking the child down a peg or two".
Another interesting note is that conditional parenting/teaching can make children particularly susceptible to peer pressure, as they seek approval for their actions.

Oh dear I killed the thread again sorry.

Off to the cinema in a bit.I heart Orange Wednesdays!

I have my appointment with the counselling service tomorrow. Getting very nervous now.

Hope you are feeling ok today, daisy

The gallbladder is just under the liver dozy and acts as a reservoir for bile from the liver which it ejects into your digestive system when you eat to bind to fat to aid digestion. Gallstones are a build up of cholesterol and other waste products in the gallbladder and when one of them gets stuck in the bile ducts that causes the pain. Very common to get them during pregnancy or after a baby as the oestrogen is a factor in causing them to form. The body can function quite well without the gallbladder though so better to remove it than suffering frequent attacks of pain. More bile is ejected when you eat fat, so the chances of a stone getting stuck is greater.....so sticking to a low fat diet minimises that chance.

8lbs down since last Friday!

This AP stuff is really fascinating and I know that it will work with DS1. I'm going to get some more reading material on it I think.

Evening ladies

Daisy my friend had her gall bladder removed about 9 months ago - although she has never had a c/s, she thought that it must have felt very similar to when I had my c/s. It wasn't long before she was up and about again though - she had developed a lump on it (can't remember what it is called) which is usually caused by pregnancy hormones.

South Yorks women I forgot to say that I mentioned the mother and baby cinema sessions to my mum and she said 'oh the one in Doncaster does those' - so I think Rutho was looking for some - try the Vue cinema in Doncaster.

Vbab do you have your DS on Fridays? I was just wondering as I might be coming over to my parents in a couple of weeks on the Friday - I will have DS1 with me aswell and it would be fab to meet up with you (and anyone else who wants to) at a play area or something?? What do you think?

I saw this advertised in a magazine - it looks fab!! It basically does everything that you need to do for weaning....steams, blends, purees, defrosts, reheats. I really really want one but it is about £70 - trying to persuade DH that I need it

All this talk about unconditional parenting - I feel really bad now as I use bribes/rewards all the time with DS1 - it is the only thing he really responds to - maybe I should read the AK stuff and see if I can adapt it?

good discussions on the AK and 'unconditional parenting' stuff. v. interesting, it's good we can discuss. i like the mirroring thing. i think i am a bit OTT with praise as i always craved it and still get a lot of self esteem from 'praise'. (my mum was always a bit over careful with praise as she thought it would give you a 'big head' ). then again, my friend also craves 'praise' and came from a family who gave it a lot. need to do more reading. think i will start with the sibling one though, since having twins it can be a big issue with the older one and between the twins as well...and also the kids love languages.

ceebee, don't beat yourself up. i think hana and pinxy may have had extreme 'conditional' experiences. i think a bit is fine. also important to make sure you 'get' your kids 'love language' if it's very different from your own, which it may well be. love covers a multitude of sins!

Oh lacks hope you aren't missing your gall bladder! I remember reading Rosemary Conley's infamous "hip and thigh" diet 20 years ago, and interestingly she developed her low-fat diet due to a gall-bladder problem!

Blimey - all this parenting stuff is so complicated these days, non?
I bet our parents didn't read any books at all, and we still turned out alright (pretty much)!
Personally, I'm a bit wary of over-analysing these things, but then again I have no experience whatsoever, so will shut up now.

Right - off to bed to read my book as I have my book club on Friday so running out of time to finish!
Off to see Frost/Nixon tomorrow - I have never been to the cinema so much!

Hope ladyB is Ok btw. Don't rush into making any rash decisions. Especially with your new hair do. This can make you do crazy things.x

hi all
Went to see Vicky Christina Barcelona. Very funny really enjoyed it.

Ceebeee re the AK/UP thing I cannot emphasise enough that all I am saying is that here is an interesting approach that may yield results. It's not another stick to beat loving parents with.
merry is right- my childhood was very wrong in soo many ways- I am starting counselling tomorrow- my children have lifted a veil from my eyes. I needed a whole new language for parenting as I did not have an inherited one to use- IWSWIM. Please don't feel bad. You are lovely.

And I have a beaba babycook. I found it very useful. You can make food quite chunky or do purees if that's your thing. Steams food beautifully. BUt yes, it's expensive. I still use it to make steamed fruit puddings/compotes etc.

Daisy it all sounds very serious. I am sorry you are going through this. Does it mean you will always be on a restricted diet? But then if it gets rid of the pain.

We have baby screenings near us to Hana and it's fab. Couldn't go today but i really wanted to as it was the new Brad Pitt film 'The curious Case...'

Hope you are feeling better Daisy. Saw your post about a big thumbs up to St James's too and it's so nice to hear positive feedback about a hospital stay

Looking for some advice?

Next week i'm going back to work for one of my 'Keeping in touch days' (i work as a teacher in a school)anyway, i'm exc bf and have enough stock in freezer for ds but just realised that i won't be feeding him from 7.30 - 4.30pm and my breasts will be huge by then and sore and probably be leaking . Shall i take my pump in and keep escaping to the toilet to express? Which will be a little embarrassing and inconvenient or do nothing? But how will this effect supply. Does anybody have any other suggestions?

lola, can someone bring your DS to you at lunchtime for a feed? not sure how old he is now, but my boobs, at almost 16 weeks are pretty much working on supply and demand and rarely get engorged at all these days, even after a good few hours. I don't think it will affect your supply overly much.

If DS can't come to you, feed him off both boobs just before you leave, then express at lunchtime and then feed him as soon as you get home and it should be OK.

once gallbladder is removed I can eat pretty normally, as the liver just drips the bile into your gut constantly rather than sending some out via the gallbladder after you have eaten. Might have to be careful of too much fat in one go and stools may be looser than normal (nice) but will generally be able to have a normal diet (well as normal as coeliac disease lets me)

oops, bumble is calling......night all xx

Morning. Bad night with ds2. And I have hurt myself - maybe I had a mild hypo. Not sure.
Loving all AP discussions. Like Dozy, my parents are fab rolemodels. My mum gave alot of thought to her parenting.
But as MerryM says, I need to tune into ds1's love language, because ds1 is not me. And he does not respond to things as I did.
MerryM, did you say there was a book which talks about the different ways children respond - like 6 different types or something. I need that book !
And Pinky, take those shirts back onto your own ironing pile, you cheeky cow

Also, I have put on weight. I have put on 1lb. But I sit here eating a chocolate biscuit as I type. So I guess that may have something to do with it !!

Pinky thanks for your kind words - this parenting lark is so much harder than I ever thought it would be

Daisy once my friend had her gall bladder removed, she had bad diorrhea (sp?) for a few weeks afterwards - but she lost tons of weight! You will be a skinny minny by the end won't you

Lolabella no advice on the bf situation - but just wanted you to know that if you did want to express whilst at work, they have to provide you with a room to do it in by law - and that is NOT the toilet!!

Ok I think Sam is officially G&T This morning, he took his own dummy out of his mouth, moved it away a few centimetres and then put it back in again - does that count??

Got his second lot of jabs this morning - joy!

Thanks Daisy not really possible to bring LO into school at lunch as i work half an hours drive away plus really not sure where i could feed him privately. Will do as you suggest and feed him both sides before leave and then express at lunch. Not looking forward to expressing in the toilet though

Obs you ok? Where gave you hurt yourself? Also, don't worry about 1LB weight gain. My weight changes daily - sometimes as much as 3LBs - 1LB is just a good poo! sorry TMI

Sorry crossed post Ceebee didn't realise that they had to provide a room to express Will look into that. Thanks

Good luck with Jabs today too. Oscar had no problem with his second lot unlike first set which resulted in four days of crying.

ceebee, loving the babycook thing. I really really want it now! Have seen it for £59.99, still seems like a lot though. Can't decide if it is an absolute necessity or just a total extravagance!!

Juanitad that is what I am thinking aswell - I managed to wean DS1 without one It is my birthday at the end of April so do you think it would be a really sad pathetic birthday present??

Yes Ceebee that is REALLY sad. For birthday, you need glam presents for YOU. Not weaning gadgets !!

Yep my work told mw before I left that they would provide a room for me if I wanted to express as well as a locked fridge to store it in. The they also had a room where the pregnant women could go and lie down if they felt ill (there are about 4 women that are pregnant now in the office not including me and someone else who went off just before november)

Me and Henry have bad colds which is a bummer as my friend is visiting from somerset tomorrow, although I seem to be sufferng more than Henry (touch wood)

I thought alot of the confusion regarding unconditional parenting was in the disipline aspect of it. How do you take it into account for example if you child hits another?

just a thought lola...I'm sure the keeping in touch days are for the mum's benefit, not the employers, so if you feel that you aren't ready to go in for a full day because of the BFing, you have no obligation to do so under the terms of statutory maternity leave.

would be a bit sad ceebee, unless it comes wrappd in something slinky for you or with some perfume on the side!

Looking forward to losing lots of weight .....not the nicest way to do it though ; I would prefer a pain free solution!

bumble is still feeding every two hours; he's driving me potty.

hello - sorry to hear about the gallstones Daisy - I had no idea they could be exacerbated by oestrogens/pregnancy. Hope you feel better soon nd think of the weight-loss!

How do you cope with the every two hour feeding? I am now beginning to feel like a milk jug on legs. Its OK on a good day, but on a bad day if we did not get much sleep and/or she is going through a growth spurt, I feel like it is a millstone round my neck. I'd love to go out for the night, or even have a day away but weeT has forgotten how to take from a bottle. She doesn't object to having the teat in her mouth, she just doesn't seem to know what to do wiht it anymore! Phew. Its tiring, this motherhood malarky. I was thinking of buying that "what mothers do" book to cheer me up and make me feel like I am achieveing things when it constantly feels like I am not. (yesterday, once again, I didn't manage the shopping/laundry/dishes/SORN the motorbike/write to the bank etc et etc. Its just a big old list of things I can't manage to get done!

Sorry to be bit mememe - I am keeping up with all of your lives via this thread, even if I don't always post regularly