June 07 - The one where we welcome Tallulahbelle's twin girls into the world :0)

[LackaDAISYcal]

hello

although I'm probably talking to myself.

had the half hour nap - now I could do with the other 61/2

DH will be late tonight too as his bosses want to dine after all the plebs have eaten (ie after they usually stop service)

I think the one single thing which can have the most profound effect on depression/anxiety is sleep. The NHS should offer all mums a series of nights in a Travelodge (only £9 if you book early enough ).

But seriously, I know my dark places come when I'm delirious through lack of sleep. It's worth monitoring it for while. It's also where my over-eating cake comes from. And narkiness towards DP. In fact, all the negative things in my life, blame it on lack of sleep.

Except having to relocate. I am fucking annoyed about that and it is most definately not through lack of sleep, more that a certain institution is run by a bunch of w***s. (I did want to use the C word, but you are all too nice and I don't want to tarnish this thread ).

Yup, I do all of the above, including today in avery boring meeting where I was meant to be paying attention and understanding lots of acronyms. I think it is partly because I am looking at nurseries for DD tomorrow and feeling v PFB about the whole thing. But I quite often keep myself awake at night imagining DH has died etc. and trying to imagine my reaction. Yesterday I also imagined some kind of terrible accident happing to DD, I can't remember exactly. I think Foxy is right though, for the most part it is your brain trying to test you. I have the same thing with heights. If I am on a cliff I start wondering what is exactly stopping me just walking off, or throwing myself off the eiffel tower. It's seems a shame that my counsellor appears to have dumped me . I was seeing her via the children's centre but she had to stop for a couple of weeks to do a project and has never got back in touch with me. I feel a little offended by it actually. I thought I was a pretty good client. It comes to something when your counsellor abandons you

Anyway, glad you are back Butterfly. Ria and Daisy, sorry you are both struggling. It's very hard not to feel like a failure because of it. I don't know if I had PND or not but I know (through someone else's experience) that depressive episodes can affect jobs they will let you have in my company (completely legally) so I was damn well going to make sure I didn't. TBH I probably would have had a much better time had I just admitted it but I pushed through it (so it can't have been that severe, not suggesting anyone else should 'push through it') I just know I was miserable for the first year of DD's life and it really puts me off doing it again .

I think there's truth in the tiredness thing. I'm sure if I wasn't so tired I could get on top of stuff and start functioning. I have been like this on and off (mostly on) since just before I got PG with DS1, I can't imagine living without it, but I would give it a go. My anxiety is manageable atm, I have been much worse and I really don't want that to come back too.

DS1 and I had an ok day. we went to town and wandered (he got a hat and a jumper from the charity shops, although I nearly walked out without paying I have never done that before, luckily we decided to buy the hat too and I remembered he was carrying something for me) and we had fish and chips. we were going to go to a sculpture trail with a bird watching area,

(sorry, baggins is banging the keyboard) btu DS didn't fancy it so we just went and sat in the cliff car park and looked at the sea and cliffs and birds (and the elderly man in the next car playing on his nintendo DS)

DH took him the the GP, he has stronger cream for his eczema patches and has been prescribed antihistamine for the itching at night (I can't believe it didn't occur to me to give him piriton for the itching), but the chemist had run out of them. Apparently it was a locum and it must be his prescription of choice! He also told DS to talk to us and not bottle things up because he was fidgeting (being 11 DS didn't get the relevance of that at all).

He doesn't want to go to school tomorrow, but I can't keep him off again without a good reason. He doesn't want to speak to the head of year about the other bullying either, because the two little same word as foxy yobs are saying he kissed a boy and he's gay and stuff.

I would very much like that Butterfly I thought you were far, far away though. Meeting you would be lovely.

Glad you had a good day Ria. Sounds lovely.

righty ho, have caught up a bit.

Butterfly, glad you are back, you were missed. Are we still meeting up at Longleat?

Yes, you are all weird and morbid, I have to admit I do not have flashes of death, knives, car crashes, destruction in any form unless someone is actively pissing me off in which case I fantasise about putting sharp implements at speed through their cranium.

I DO, however, sit in meetings looking at all the blokes and wondering if any of them would be worth checking out naked. Usually no.

Oooh fury I do that too! Usually no in my case too!

I go to some very boring meetings! So it's sex or death to liven them up

No holidays for us this year unfortunately. I may have wangled a trip to the States with work though. I would like to extend it, and have DH come out too if we can scrape the money together, after all we'd be saving on my flights. The only problem is DD. DH not sure if he could do a flight out there (East coast) on his own with DD on his lap, and if not there is a slight possibility of my mum looking after her, though she doesn't have the room for DD at hers and not sure if she would come up, coz of her cats. She suggested sharing looking after DD (just for 4 nights or so) with my sister, but neither me or DH are very happy about that, so it might not even happen.

Butterfly, we are there for a week from the 13th March, the one at Longleat. Do come, I shall be all fat and knocked up and we can have a blast.

Bumper, that was what got DH and I talking. He noticed me checking him out in a meeting. Whoops. Worked out ok though

Can you do a day trip to centre parks?

yep!
Not sure the cost though - but if it's very pricey we can leave the premises and go to Longleat safari park or summat

im in desperate need for a holiday.
would i possibly be able to join?

Fucking hell, just checked out the price of a 3 night weekend trip when Fury is going and the cheapest accomodation is £370!

eeeep! my goodness!

plenty of discounts available but no centre parcs is not cheap

I LOVE it there though, so fab for kiddies.

If anyone really is keen I'll try and find a discount, or like I say we could do a day trip to the safari park?

a day trip would be nice, more affordable.
i will be nice and fat by then lol

I have finished the Ben and Jerry's and I think I am going to start on the Quality Street. And I might have a Baileys. I am a bit down. But my diet is going so well.

AAAARRRGGGHHHH HELP!!!

take it im not invited as being ignored

oh well, looking up butlins now

Look out for the vouchers in The Sun Natty. I collected them last time but missed out.

Natty why do you think you are being ignored??
I said I'd search for discounts or we could do a day trip to the safari park... am I missing something?