June 07 PN - Christmas is coming, and our little puddings are becoming cheeky monkeys. Will Santa come?

[educatingRia]

best I could come up with on my enforced alcohol limitation

what happens when you ignore him? Could you put him in his room when he's thrashing around until he calms down?

I think ignoring is an extremely powerful tool. Well done on the swearing Natty can you apply the same to the rest of the behaviour?

Natty at your new name but sorry to hear you've had such a tough week.
I think it was me said to ingnore the swearing, I feel like a parenting guru now!
Tantrums are terrible, distract and ignore is the only way really, they sound extra scary though.
I've just had a super tired DD hysterically insisting she doesn't want to go to sleep for the last hour.

does anyone know if 6/7 is "too old" for Charlie & Lola?

hi sputnik. I dread bedtime. most nights.

I don't know Ria. Boy or girl? My DS's wouldn't be interested I'm afraid.

Evening Ria.
Funnily enough DD is usually really easy. DS has been tough lately as he just keeps getting up again, but today he napped in the morning (at nursery fgs, am I paying them to take him there for a sleep?) so was really tired and went out like a light.
So if it's not one it's the other.

ah foxy ignoring the tantrum ends in self harm, or harm to others. have tried the restraint technique, health visitor recommended it, but to no avail, i end up hurting him by mistake just trying to stop him hurting himself.
if i put him in his room he trying to climb out the window, or turns his bed over and throws himself of window sill etc etc, he cannot be left unattended... so unfortuatly no it doesnt work

oh and charlie and lola clothing goes up to age 10.. so surely there must be a market? just a thought

xmas gift for DHs snotty niece foxy. DS2 loves it. DS1 watches too, whether that is to avoid homework or not(but I think he likes it), DS1 would (I hope) turn his nose up at a gift though! I'm quite keen.

hmm, tricky Natty. Any help on offer from your GPs surgery?

im on the list for help.. but knowing croydon he will be 5 b4 it comes thru
i think i will just buy a tranquliser gun...

there must be some kind of support available to you natty? Have you posted on here?

independant parent support groups? respite day care? (I did voluntary work for a while with an NCH respite centre summer playscheme and Saturday morning group, couldn't so it now) what does google come up with?

I know respite wouldn't help with tantrum management, but I was thinking for future. Sorry

all anyone ever says is ignore him.. thats not helpful.
that and take turns with DH, hes never here, so thats no good
other than that i get asked if i have family that will help, no my mum couldnt cope with him for 3 days when i was in hospital with ellen, and she tramatised him took him weeks to recover.
the problem is that i dont trust anyone else to look after him, and i dont like going out because i have to deal with ppl complaining to me that he is noisy. so im probally not helping in that i dont take him out if i can avoid it, but the way he behaves makes it SO hard, and with no car neither its hell/
i need to learn to drive so i can take him to massive parks with no ppl, then he can make as much noise as he likes.

sorry to be a moaning murtle tonight, but i really honestly feel like he is taking over the whole house, and i have no control.

respite we are not elagible, croydon dont accept diagnosis for children under three in cases of autism, by which time he will be in nursery.
added on to the fact we are massivly short of money and CANNOT even afford a few hours a week paid childcare. and believe me i have tried to find the money, we dont have it.

ria dont be i am honoured u are taking an interest. most ppl dont wanna know, i am in that awful group of ppl that dont qualify for help cos hubby isnt working, but we dont earn enough to pay for it... stupid labour system.

meant to put hubby isnt unemployed

sorry natty, I just assumed the NCH respite was funded

are there any support websites where you can get advice and stuff? it must be really hard if you feel you can't leave the house. What is he like if he has a book or something to focus on when you go to places where other people are? Am I right in thinking autistic children respond well to music? could you find a CD he really likes to calm him when you can't handle him?

I'm sorry if I'm not helping, I would like to be able to but don't know how.

It must be be really hard for you Natty, in fact when I read your post yesterday I thought how brave you were trying to go out at all, I find it tough enough with mine, on their own.

I guess people don't realise that a standard toddler tantrum is going to be 100x worse with a child with SN. You really should try posting on here in the SN section. I would guess though that the real key would be to avoid getting to tantrum point in the first place. You might be right that his routine has been usettled cos of the washing machine. Hope your weekend will be better.

Yes, start a thread. There's bound to be an abundance of help on here

I know the one Natty! (very well for about 11 years). We currently qualify for DS1 to go on an outdoor pursuits residential for free!!! (£200+ to anyone else, although there is "help" available if you can't afford it but aren't on benefits, which I hope covers us when DH goes back to work because it will tke us quite a while to get back on our feet) He didn't want to go on the last one in primary - because he really didn't want to (not enough confidence) - but he got bullied because his peers thought it was down to money. (I think we could have got help with that too if we'd tried, his teacher did ask) but he realised what he'd missed out on and is determined to go this time. I am lucky though because I think DM was ready to pay for him if we couldn't get help.

sorry, that was an irrelevant rant.

we are watching Denise Van Outen do 1983 or something. Not getting it. Last night DH made me watch Steven Segal (and I kept pissing him off with inane comments). I think I've missed something?

lol ria not at all

the music idea is a brilliant idea tho, he does respond well to music, only programs and films he will watch is ones with music in it.. can u get kids cd players? like that are pretty tough?

she was probably only sodding well born then!