Feb 06 - ......Meh.

[Phoenix]

cd player is a good ide for bday, thanks! Altho ds1 should really get one first being oldest, so that puts a spanner in the works.

Macca, Thanks, I know you're trying to be constructive. I think sometimes I donr explain things fully on here cos no one really pays attention anyway, but you actually do want more detail cos you know what you're on abbout IYSWIM! So...

1. Any negativity aboutr my self image is 90%due to the belly. Which the gp has admittted needs plastic surgery to correct, so its not jusy in my head. Without the belly, I'd feel much better bout myself and could live with other flaws and signs of aging.

2.Regardless of what I think of myself, that would never reflect on what I think of/say to others. I'm a very good teacher when I want to be. And I'm very good at do as I say not as I do All I meant is that if you look at this belly, you cant tell clothed that its mainly loose skin that cant be lost thru traininng and diet, so you would naturally wonder why I was fat.

1. I did a bad run yesterday due to lack of sleep, needing a wee (which I tried to deny but ended up going in a bush half way!) and the fact that I've been slacking off the runnning since the cough at xmas. I really do have to keep it constant or I start losing it.
2. My food intake has been a bit sporadic this week, yes.But there's enough claories in there. Just not quite the right balance of nutrients. I'm def eating enough to power my body. And my weight goals are all factoring in a conversion to muscle too, so overall I'm not being unrealistic. I'm not expecting to lose another stone and become perfectly cut!

5.I really cant decide whether to phone about my tummy tuck sooner rather than later (adding money onto mortgage ), cos I donr want to be losing training time. But cant decide whether better to lose it once I'm reallt fit, or now before I get there and then lose it. There is also the argument of leaving it longer to try and sort myself naturally. But at the end of the day, I've lost about 2st 10lbs through hard work, and this is mainly skin which wont drop off by exercise anyway.

csws, no i cant just go get a job in a gym. What as?!
BTw, the kiddyguard gates are great for being hard to open, but I think ds1 was just over 3 when he realised he could just get something to stand on and climb over Intersting for the one at the top of the stairs

and maccca, my head and body are always in diff places

Ok. Be totally totally honest MRM. Stand in front of the mirror, naked. Stand tall, head on top of shoulders, shoulders back and down and tummy held in. Look in the mirror (rather than down at yourself) do you see a difference standing in the correct posture? Honestly? If you do, then Friz is right, core exercises WILL make a difference. You've said you have crap core. Improve your posture and you'll knock inches off the pouch.

Hell, we've had 2 kids, we ARE going to have loose skin (OK so there are a few that don't but the majority of us will). If I wear 26 inch waist trousers, I have so much gut hanging out it's embarassing. If I don't hold myself in I sag. If I sit on the floor it all hangs out. THAT is life after kids.

Did the Dr really say. MRM you need a tummy tuck. Or did he say, that's not fat just loose skin and then agreed laughing you'd need a tuck? I feel (but obviously I wasn't there) you've picked up on something he nodded at rather than said.

If you want to do something and you've been talking about it for some time. Save your money and invest it in training yourself. If it's what you really want can you really stand there with a client saying, "I had plastic surgery". Believe me, there are all sorts of shapes and sizes training people, and to be honest, people want "real" people training them, people they can look at and say, yeah, I can look like her. She's fit, toned and has a realistic figure.

Jas, Flame, CSWS have always seemed pretty honest with you and I think you need to listen to them. Use the money to re-train and do something you've always loved. You WILL have a much better opinion of yourself, Honest!!!!!

END OF LECTURE

Sorry guys, I do pop in and read your posts and I have felt like throttling MRM with her negative thoughts of herself. Waves at everyone again and goes back to being quiet and lurking.

Forget to say congrats Pg, when you due?

Thankyou macca. I only hope she takes notice.

I could fit four fingers between my abs after dd2, and for the next five years!. For some reason things actually got better when I was pregnant with ds, and now I'm down to a 11/2 finger gap. I just don't wear cut off tops (much)

Also surprised if dr said You need a tummy tuck....or did he agree that it would help when you said it.

Drs do all kinds of odd things. I was automatically referred for plastic surgery for the scars on my back as a child....doesn't mean I needed it then, or now.

EPPM - your brother was born when you were 23 months and you still haven't got over it? Shit. Dd will be traumatised for life!

Stairgate now bought and installed.

Oh, and to add to my joy last night, ds woke for a feed every 20mins - an hour all night, except for one nearly 2 hour stint.

Ok Macca, email me a pic of your belly so I can compare Its not that it hangs over when I bend etc, its that its always there, and its not just large, its really disgustingly puckererd and hanging and with that weird line down the centre where the skin is so big. It really is just like a smaller version of that mans belly who lost 40 stone or something ridiculous.
Yes, of course I'm better with correct posture. Mine is especially shit, but then again I dont know anyone with perfect posture.

Actually, this is how the conv went... after I'd asked doc about something else, I said 'while I'm here can I just ask you about my tummy...' told him I do exercise, I do eat right most of the time, that I've lost alot so not being all pathetic about it. He said ok lets have a quick examination, got me to lie down then do some crunches and hold them. Then he said about the muscles having a big gap even tho strong, and it was him that said 'and as for all the loose skin that is obviously a problem, only plastic surgery would sort that out'. I wasnt the person to bring it into the conversation actually. So there!

The only thing stopping me is the recovery time. I dont want to stop exercising for that long. It'd be like having another c section So what I gained from th op, I'd have to work so hard to regain fitness wise.

Dont worry, I'm not gonna get a fitness related job, I cant live up to it. I'm not fit enough, aside from my belly issues! i'd love to be able to do a course just for learnings sake, but thats not feasible!!

Tell you what tho, if you did throttle me macca, I'd have a sore thraot , therefore eat less food for a while, therefore get thinner

Oh CSWS

With the jealousy thing - DD got over it after about 6 weeks, EPPM never did, so there is some middle ground there . She has always been very much your cherished pfb (not in a bitchy way!!! I can read how that could come across wrong), plus she is having to share you body and soul rather than just soul like many children. It is going to be hard for her. Not that I am saying you should pander to her, more that it is all perfectly normal (which you know). It will get better. Ye Olde MN Mantra of "This too shall pass".

I know none of that helps fix things instantly, it won't be fixable instantly, not helped by cling monster DS, but there is a light somewhere at the end. How does bedtime work now, and how did it work before?

MRM - You want the surgery. In my mind you are best off going for it sooner, so that you know what you are working with afterwards (does that make sense???). I do completely see your reasoning. I hate my belly, but where I haven't had the c-sections etc I know that mine does improve with exercise and weight loss (not that I do it much ), but when I had lost all the weight and was down to 10st I liked what I saw, even without the toning up iyswim.

Erm, forgotten everything else I meant to reply to - but I've done a hell of a lot better than normal

Off for a bath - aching lots! Going back to the doctor tomorrow, nearly out of codeine (been taking them in the evening, normal paracetamol during the day), I don't want more codeine as I know I am likely to have issues coming off them if I take too many - will see what they can give!

My little man is poorly He has had pink eyes and very dark circles/paler than normal face for the last few days, just thought he was tired. Before bed tonight though his temp shot up, he went all shivery and just looked generally hell Now in bed with bottle

CSWS- the situation of my childhood from P's childhood is completely different!
My brother was extremely ill for the first 2 years of his life- I basically went from being pfb to being virtually abandoned in an instant. The rest of my childhood was extremely unhappy- and my parents have the responsibility for that- to be blunt, a catalogue of neglect and abuse in all honesty, though you have intimated yours was no picnic either .
I'm sure you and DH are doing everything you can do help DD adjust- it just takes time, the main thing is to give DD attention one-to-one whenever you can feasibly, rather than shut her out due to DS, which I am sure you are not doing.

My brother and I fought like cat and dog as children- only really stopped the physical fighting when it started to hurt too much and too long- around 14 or so. We still have no relationship now- haven't seen him for 15 years or so.
We are completely different personality-wise and values-wise, so not much chance we are ever going to get close tbh.

Flamne- hope DS is better soon- there are so many bugs around at the moment it is ridiculous.

DD has cut her final molar at last! Explains the cold this week perhaps.

I am having lots of downward pressure in my abdomen... don't remember this from last time.... does this mean it will happen soon?????

Mrm- I really think ( and please do not be offended) but I really think you have body dysmorphia- I have seen the pics of you, and so many other mners said too, you are gorgeous and lovely looking- and your body looks great.

I don't know what to suggest, as it is obviously making you very unhappy, and is something you focus on a lot.
I don't know if there are special exercises you can do to knit the abdominal muscles, though I'm sure there must be, and you've tried them.
Have you thought about counselling perhaps, because I'm sure there isn't anything more you could do physically- you never seem to stop!

How does DH feel about how you feel? What is his opinion?

oh EPPM

Awwww for poorly flameboy and achey flame. Hope you both perk up soon.

Downward pressure could just mean that he's descended EPPM, but who knows - I didn't really do freehand second labour .

mrm - 'I donr explain things fully on here cos no one really pays attention anyway' - yes we do!

Flame - she didn't get to share my body today! I told her yesterday that there would be no boo-boo if she didn't stop misbehaving, and I actually followed through with it. I told her that she has to be good at night to get it, and that as she was bad yesterday there would be none tonight, but if she was good tonight then she'd get some tomorrow night. She wasn't happy, but sort of accepted it I think. I managed to make it out of her bedroom ahead of her tonight (sometimes she runs out before I've even got her settled to start with!), and put the gate on, which she hadn't seen before. She came out of her room a minute or so later and started screaming. Dh and I had planned to ignore her, but it seems that she went straight for her megablocks box to stand on to get over it, so dh went to explain that that was very dangerous, and went in to her room to talk to her and explain that the gate will be there until she proves that she can be trusted not to come down. He thinks she got it. Certainly she didn't come out again, though she must frankly have been knackered after last night, as she was up and down switching beds a fair bit in the night too apparently.

Ds has fed lots today too. Wondering if it's actually to ease teething pain, as dd used to like to feed through that too. Anyway, he's had calpol tonight as had his jabs today, so hopefully that will ease any pain and help to give us a better night too. Frankly can't be much worse!

Flame - bedtime routine for dd hasn't really changed much, except that her bath is with ds too. When I'm on my own I tend to put her to bed first (leaving ds to cry sometimes ), and then come down to my room and feed ds til he's ready for sleep. It's whilst I'm doing this that she tends to get back up and start running riot, knowing I think that I don't like to interrupt getting ds off, as it puts me back to square one or before.

When dh is here he is tending to do most of the putting her to bed whilst I try and get ds off, and then I pop up and give her a feed (supposedly) last thing.

EPPM

Labour is a distant memory here, but downward pressure must be good at this stage

Csws - Well done on following through this evening. I do hope you all have a better night tonight. As a contrast to EPPM, my brother is 30 months younger than me, and tbh, I remember nothing of him as a baby. I take that as a good thing, as I believe bad memories seem to stick more iyswim. We did fight as children but once he left home we got on fine

Flame - I hope ds is ok tonight. Doesn't the codeine make you terribly constipated? That puts me off taking it more than addiction tbh (given it from time to time for my back, but rarely take it)

mrm - We don't pay attention....so not true (except for the times and minute details of treadmill inclines)
OK. I take back the implication that you were putting words into the drs mouth, but still think if I asked for example what can I do about my scars they would suggest surgery. Doesn't mean I need it though. Would you consider some kind of CBT type counselling before you book surgery? It is such a huge thing to do, when I still think learning to accept and work with what you've got is a safer/better option...

Ds is getting worse at going to pre-school.

He was crying when dh got him up this morning saying he wanted to stay at home. Then was ok and got ready fine. We got in the car and set off.

As we got nearer i heard a little whimper from the back and turned round and he was crying to himself which obviously set me off too. He was crying more and more the nearer we got .

I really don't think i'll be able to take him on my own on Thursday. Dh took him into pre-school today while i waited, crying, in the car.

He is fine once he's there but it's just getting him there. It's killing me seeing him like this and tbh if i'd have been driving this morning i think i'd have turned round and brought him back home

I'll stop moaning now.

Hope labour is on it's way EPPM

Think I had downward pressure from about 8weeks with ds2! Then again I didint have either child naturally, they just didnt want to come out!! Ds2 was just so big and i was so big that it just felt constantly like he was weighing my pelvis down!

Now you all know what I m,eant.. I didnt mean you dont listen per se, I meant more what Jas said bout you dont listen to the dull details about the exercise So dont whinge about that comment cos I didnt mean it like that!

The only thoer option to the tuck is to back to th idea of a boot camp. It wont fix the tummy problem ,but it'd be cheaper, it'd do my whole body good, and it might do my head good. And it'll be exercise, not time off exercise Altho friend that going to hols with has promised they will be like bootcamp anyway

Got to start plannnig and booking stuff for the summer fayre this week, so ideas would be welcome please!

Oh Phoenix It does take time- especially when they don't go everyday- they forget in between so easily.
I am sure he will take to it- some just take longer than others. Plus- he knows how to manipulate you, and if he cries, he knows you'll be upset, and he thinks he can stay with you then!

CSWS- was reading another thread, about bedtimes- and wondered- would the threat of having her lovely new bedroom taken away from her help? If she doesn't stay in it, it won't be hers kind of thing? (wouldn't work with mine, but you never know!)

No more contractions here. Actually walked DD to nursery this morning as it is really frosty and it seems ridiculous to spend 10 mins defrosting car for a 3 minute drive..

They have just been to collect my car- said it would probably be ready by Friday so much quicker than I imagined
(Last time it took ages, though I was only 3rd party last time...)

Summer Fayre? < looks out of the window.....>
Right.....

What kind of ideas?

8 weeks? oh well- maybe it doesn't mean anything then? He was squirming for hours last night though- at least 2 hours- didn't think there was any room left in there to move really.

Surely a holiday should be about a break, and relaxing? Especially if it's child-free time

Need one large attraction thats more intersting than just a bouncy castle, budget £500 max. Ideas for interesting games cos we alwqays do the same things. Things easy to set up and run!!!

Sorry- I have never been to a summer fayre (since I was about 8 anyway)- what attractions are good?
I thought face-painting was the norm
And throw the wet sponge at the teacher...

I have seen treasure maps with grids, and you sign up to a square and one square has the treasure in it (huge teddy, bottle of scotch, whatever is appropriate... I think the one I saw was painted on plywood/hardboard so it could be re-used every fair easily (just change the grid square chosen) and just stored at school in PE cupboard or somewhere.

Do you need prizes? I have a couple of brand new soft toys... which I really don't want (we are drowning in them) and was going to send to charity shop, but you're welcome to them when we meet up... providing you have any storage space of course....

Maybe a thread is needed for fair ideas- there must be loads of PTAers on mn....

Yeah, I'll start a thread when I get round to it! We do treausre at xmas so cant do summer.

I enquired about the cost of 3 donkies for 4 hours...go on, guess....

They told you you were an ass?

What about an 'animal man' type thing- they come and bring loads of different animals- most schools know about someone like that (owls, stickinsects, snakes etc)

COuld you get someone who does those 'bring a book to life' type things- through activities and acting...

Are there any parents who could bring their fire engine or ambulance, or jet fighter? [hopeful emoticon]

Scared to imagine how much donkey rides cost now- aren;t all donkies ensconced in luxury spas sanctuaries these days?

£600?

THE DDS SCHOOL HAD MINI GO CARTS....they were ok for 4 yr olds but no idea how much it cost. Probably more than £500