May 07: The one where SOH gets her tweed clothes and LG&T doesn't get any...

[ShowOfHands]

New thread...

Morning all, just a flying visit so please excuse my lack of response to anyone, will reply later.

Scoot have left a message on your mobile, do you fancy Chatsworth farm/play area or is it too wet today? Apparently there is a Christmas Fayre this weekend as well.

If not could see you at Meadowhell .

DH has a new PS3 game so quite glad to be rid of us I think .

Catch you later girls Love CM

Blardy drizzly rain here in Sheffield.

More flying visits here, I am on dh's PC as my internet has been cut.

Remember email me for secret santa stephensonkuk at yahoo dot co dot uk.

Yeah right...

9hrs of hell on British Airways. Jack had the squits so had to give him a 1/4 of imodium tablet to stop the poo. Ella cried for at least half the flight so took her up to the food/toilet area as it was away from the sleeping passengers. Stupid b*tch air stewardess asked me to move as uthey had crew on rest and a crying baby wasnt helping them rest asked where she expected me to go on such a spacious aircraft. Not amused!

Go to the hotel at 6.30 local time 11.30pm UK time with 2 very tired children.

All 4 of us in bed by 8pm and J woke up at 1.45am got back to sleep at 3.30 for E to wake up for half an hour. J then woke at 6 and E at 7. Have unpacked and kids just turning into prunes in the bath. Weather is NOT fab Grey and has a slight chill. We arnt going to let it get us down though and are off to see Mickey and Friends at Animal Kingdom today.

SOH, sorry to see that your photos didnt go quite to plan esp with af turning up

Goodness me AM. I hope it improves. I can't imagine a long flight with two children who are upset and ill. How stressful. Are you drugging them on the way back?

Just a thought about Secret Santa. As well as including likes/dislikes, probably should mention who you bought for last year so we don't end up with the same people again. For variety obviously.

TYG, meant to say, I adore gingerbread men but love and crave in equal measure ginger cake, ginger loaf, ginger tea, ginger chocolate, ginger sweets, ginger spice, chinese/thai with lots of ginger. It's my weakness. Along with cheese. And, er biscuits.

Goodness me are you expecting me to remember that far back? Actually i think i had Annme.....

Been to Animal Kingdom today. Kids just having an afternoon snooze before heading out tonight.

Just had the tank weighed and measured to see if she's averaged out. 99th centile for weight and height still. She's nearly 3ft tall. When will she stop? [slightlyworriedaboutwhativespawned]

Having a bit of a panic about Christmas, normally finished shopping way before now. Did some online last night. Have bought for 15. About 7 to go.

Thank God for Hawkin's Bazaar. Got a couple of offer codes for them if anybody's still shopping. £5 off a £30 shop or £6 off a £35 shop. Even found this for my brother who's impossible to shop for and it suits his alcoholic tendencies interest in alcoholic beverages. Didn't buy myself a book from Amazon. Oh no. No siree. Not even a little one.

Still shopping?I have bought exactly two items!Any codes you cna send my way..

Charley-only just got your message-Mums house is in a mobile black spot-Gutted-would have loved to come to Chatters..did you go in the end?Was it all trimmed up for Christmas yet?I love going round the house at Christmas-is my treat to self every year-I go without the girls, ooh and aah at the decs, sigh wistfully about not being wealthy/the Duchess of Devonshire and spend about a million quid in the gift shop..

SOH-What was PJ's news that you were smiling baout?Have I missed something?!I hope she has remembred I am coming tomorrow [excited emoticon]

Blimey Pebble-your Ds's school are being totally absurd.Is all you need at the moment..Must say am not looking forward to dealing with all of that stuff.

at AM..

master stick me down for secret santa-will email you when I get back cant do it from here..

Maybe you could volunteer at an actual sure start centre TYG..They sometimes need people to mind the kids whilst the parents are attending classes or whatever and you might be able to take yours along at the same time..might be a way in? at you defrosting cup cakes.I ws so desperate for some chocolate the other night that I ate the only chocolate we had in the house (some christmas tree chocolate decs that Id bought.It represented a new low for me )

Am taking girls to the dam today to feed the ducks and show L where I went to school.And thats it.Am on a go slow as am knackered.Was up till late on Friday doing my wrok, then up early yesterday to finish it off, then pack, then drive up here.Was asleep before the end of X factor last night!

My Mum has elected to have a purple cast put on her arm She said she didnt like the pink which was the alternative, and white gets too dirty.It is very fetching

Cor, your mum has style scoot.

PJ's been made permanent at work. I'm taking bets on how long before she has to tell them she's going off on maternity.

Have you made an appointment to see the doc?

No.
I am struggling with a)how actually frighted of our GP I am-he is as you know the most dismissive man in the world and b)say I do get signed off with stress..how will that have a knock on effect on my career?Not that I want a career for ever and am not pushng for promotion or anything, but would feel like I wouldnt be trusted to do my job, and people wouuld always think I couldnt do it, and the staff would know and would just think I was either mental, or someone they could mess about in future because, well clearly im mental, or just feel let down.Plus what would I do at home?Plus would I ever once at home, get up the courage to back to work?I know there are policies and what no about not discriminating against those that are ill and all sorts, but in reality you cant change people perception.Also I am quite a proud person (who knew?Is a surprise to me for sure)and I want to be able to do my job and be a good Mum and a good wife..and it bothers me that by for example getting signed off at work, I will be admitting failure on all three of those counts.

Sorry about all that..should prob have started another thread.

Psht! Admitting failure? Nope, doing the right thing. Allowing yourself to regenerate (can you regenerate into DT though so I can have a fling with you?) and go back to a job you love, be a well and healthy mum and a happy wife. What's the alternative scoot? Honestly. How long can you carry on like this?

Is there another way? You say you can't change your hours any more than you have. Can you lighten the load elsewhere? A cleaner? Something bigger than this? Second husband with predilection for cleaning and catering to your every need?

I know you need to do something.

Cant really justify having a cleaner as we need to pay off some of our debts which in turn will lessen the need for me to work.(We are certainly paying for the excesses of our youth now in ways we could never even have imagined when we were living the high life-if we didnt have so much debt from then we could easily afford for me to work about two days a week somewhere )

Second husband not a bad idea

I know I must do something.But am nervous about what it will mean for me in terms of job and also in terms of admitting certain things to myself iyswim.Not sure my self esteem will allow it..I know this sounds crazy..I have never really failed at anything before.Even when I was a 17 stone agorophobic at uni I pulled it round by having a long talk with myself, losing the weight, forcing myself to go out and talk to people..came through it fine in the end..
This time my self talking to's are not working but I still dont like the idea that I need help, or a break or whatever.Lots of people work in busy jobs and have kids and run a house.Its not easy but then its not rocket science either.Im annoyed with myself that I cant manage.But am slowly admitting to self that I cant.

Also DH doesnt get it at all, which is difficult.He very sweetly said the other day,'well next weekend you can have a lie in which will make you feel better'..because he just doesnt see how its more the accumulative effect of everything that is freaking me out, rather than the immediate tiredness of being up at 5 with M or whatever.He has never experienced anything like this and I dont want to scare him..I see why he doesnt understand-its just not how he thinks and he is trying.

Anyway..sorry to bang on.Hair wont dry itself.Had better push off before the girls wake up..

picks up bucket of misery on way out

The thing is scoot, some people have cleaners and all the money in the world and everything their hearts desire but they still feel themselves going under sometimes. You're only human. Don't compare yourself. What you did at uni is amazing, really marvellous and if you can do that for you and your future, then you can do this for your future and that of your little girls.

You must tell dh the truth. Do you remember when I was pg and dh was being bullied at work/failed drugs tests/working 70hr weeks? Well, he didn't tell me the half of it and ended up suicidal. He hadn't told me because he felt weak and silly and all the things you think you are right now. It was tosh. It wasn't until he admitted what was happening that he felt he had 'permission' to do what he needed. I said I'd support him in anything- giving up work altogether and living off the savings while he found a new job, pursuing making his current job better, whatever. You wouldn't take time off work until you fainted and got sent home. If you keep waiting in every scenario for somebody to tell you it's ok then you will make yourself poorlier than you are. Give yourself permission to step down. Sod it, I give you permission.

And failure? No, not at all. I've said it before. You aren't measured against how well you coast along when it's easy, it's how you pick yourself up when it's tough. By admitting you need some help you are doing the bravest and best thing. You're giving yourself the chance to be where you want to be, not sinking slowly downwards.

Look, my Dad got to 50 and two suicide attempts before he got the help he needed. I watched him struggle for my whole childhood. I nearly lost him. I can't change his past but I can urge you to do something about your future.

Scoot--really have to echo what SOH is saying. Remember it's just a job, that's it. There are others out there. There is no reason why you should left to feel like crap.

As far as money goes. There is never enough. We never have enough money or time. Dh and I barely get by every month, but as long as we have a roof, heat, and food we consider it a good month. It's hard being a family with small children, because there are more sacrifices to make. When the children are older and more self-sufficient we can get better jobs (at least I can), but for now it is what it is.

Take it easy and take care of yourself for a while. There is plenty of time later to conquer the world.

MKG, did you and dh decide on a name in the end?

Scoot, be thankful you don't have facebook. AM's plastered herself across it, wearing shorts, I beg of you. Just to make us feel a bit more chilly and remind us we're not on a lovely holiday. Lucky mare. She's got great legs. I could wear shorts you know. I'd freeze but I could.

MKG, you're stateside, do you wear shorts all the time?

Would just like to say tha although i am wearing shorts it is not hot and i am only wearing them because a) i'm on holiday and feel i should and b) its all i packed! Feeling very chilly & knackered

Scoot, perhaps the HR people (helloooo PJ!) can clear this up, but I think there's a possibility that you can send a note to HR to say why you're off, but ask for your manager not to be notified of the reason or something... Not sure though.

And anyway, the thing is, you can sue for all sorts of things if you're treated differently after being signed off.

AND, social care is one of THE most stressful jobs. I have no idea how you do it. I really don't. The reason you are so stressed is because you care so much and I think your boss needs to know that. You don't just need a break though, there need to be some changes to how your work is structured so it doesn't happen again.

I have to admit now, that I came on here to have a little gloat. I did my weigh-in and measurements at the gym today. (At 9am, following late night in Soho I might add.) Have only lost 7lbs in total since first trying to lose weight, BUT over 6 body measurements; Calf, thigh, bum, stomach, arm and neck I have lost a total of 37.5cms. Woo hoo! My trainer did all the measurements twice because he couldn't get over the difference 8 session had made. 8cms off one thigh and 10.5cms off my stomach. Yeyyy! Brought the measurements home to show DH and he said that exercise can be my "vice" now and says he won't complain about the cost as long any more, if I'm getting results like that.

Had the sh'ttest babysitter last night. S didn't feel confident enough to mind the two babies when we were about an hour away, so I booked an agency sitter. I gave her very clear instructions, even ended up writing everything down. Said that if A woke up and was really crying, that she should ask S to settle her, in case she didn't like a stranger coming in and said if O woke up for a feed, that there was breastmilk in the fridge to be heated in a jug of hot water, but S didn't need to go to him, because he's too little to mind who feeds him. The stupid cow woke S at 12.20am to "hold" O while she warmed his bottle of breastmilk, in the microwave, which made it go all rank and curdled looking. Argh. I don't know what I was paying for if she couldn't even manage one awake baby. So annoyed. Am going to put her on my online account sh'tlist. She was more concerned about making sure I left her a blanket for herself than knowing what to do with the babies. The agency are usually great, so I was disappointed. Tsk.

Oh AM, I meant to say. Deepest sympathies about the plane journey and the jet-lagged kids. I honestly don't think I'll go very far with the children until they're quite a bit older now. It's just not worth it. Not after the Sydney to London plane débacle.

I hope they perk up and you can have fun together.

No we haven't decided on a name. I want something unique and he loves Emily. He won't let it go. It's ok, but not my favorite name, and I also have a cousin with daughter named Emily, so I don't want to do it. Right now it's the most popular name in the country.

No I don't wear shorts all the time. Only when it's really hot, but I can't wear them at work, so basically two days a week in the summer. I do however them a pair of boxer shorts to bed every night though.

Wow TYG. That really is quite impressive. IMHO, loss of inches and feeling better and fitter are the best ways of measuring how you are doing. The weight thing is so misleading because it depends on hydration, time of day, the quality of scales etc. Plus muscle weighs considerably more than fat so as you tone up it can look like you're not losing much weight on the scales when in reality you're making massive gains.

Keep it up!

Meant to add...

Emily's pretty but it's not special. And it doesn't encompass dh's cultural heritage does it?

Did you decide against Xochitl?

Scoot i hope you have managed to get up and see Pink today. A good natter and someone to give you a hug will be the start of acceptance, you must have a break from work. You will not be letting anyone down. What SOH says really, listen to her and the rest of us.

SOH have you recovered from the pics debacle? When do we get to see them?

MKG Emily is sweet but she needs more oomph in a name to keep up with her brothers.

I am 32 weeks today and NOT IN LABOUR YET, fingers crossed all week please.

MKG dont go with Emily something with a but more razzamatazz I think.

LG&T fingers and toes crossed for you.

Scoot my lovely you need a break have a chat with PJ and eat lots of cake. Working in social care really takes a very special person but you need to give oyurself a break otherwise you will break. Take care my lovely.

TYG v v impressive you will be disappearing down dreains at this rate. Well done.

Poor old parchie is feeling a bit under the weather today we had to deal with the first proper vomit fest suppose we have been quite lucky to get this far without having to mop up copious amounts of puke.

Pebble bloody nora that school needs a kick up the arse. Hope J is ok.

SOH poor you that is exactly why I will never do one of those awful group photo sessions as it always just degenerates into a total nightmare for at least one person. Have you recovered. I saw a lovely recipie for ginger cake yesterday in The Observer would you like it?

AM lets hope you have a better day today and that Jacks face isnt too smooshed up from his fall.

Oh and TYG what agency did you use for the babysitter that is really crap I would phone the agency up today and give them a piece of your mind.

Oh god yes TYG! I am mucho impressed! You are a clever girl.

AM i just looked at the pics! I could not wear shorts, harumph. The kids look like they are having a fantastic time! It so lovely to see their faces light up when they believe it Hope J's face is looking better today.

Yuk to the vom Jam, i blardy hate it. They don't hold their head over a bowl like we do either. Towels and more towels are the only saviours.

How is the dog? Did i reply to the 'will the dog go loopy when the baby arrives' question? Sorry am rubbish.