May 07: The one where SOH gets her tweed clothes and LG&T doesn't get any...

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Regret you should. They aren't stinky. They're extremely clean I'll have you know. My Great-Grandma had pigs that were house trained. They came when called, like cuddles and slept by her aga.

Thats where you are wrong TYG..An evironmentalist told me off when I parked adjacent to Fresh N Wild in Stoke Newington only last week for having an 'over large car for London', when a 'smaller one would do the same job'.I drive a Renault Megane scenic FGS.Its not exactly massive!I scoffed at her and marched into the store.Then I hid behind the Dr Haushka products at the back till she was busy accosting someone else before I could sneak out lest she took issue with me again.
Its actualy put me off going to Fresh N Wild again in case she is a real mentalist and is there all the time..

I have offered time and time again to come to see you SOH..You have always avoided answering.I have took this to mean you arent that bothered about meeting me (for which I cant blame you at all)But if you are ever up for visitors email away and I would love to come..Whats this nonsense about you going somewhere..you cant.Because we would just follow you and then sit on you till you came back.So there.

PJ is mine.You are right SOH.She is a real Fox.I fancied her rotten when I met her.Although AM isnt bad either it has to be said.Cept she has the figure of a supermodel and thus would make me paranoid about my own flab

at your hair gintonic..>>snort

She'll get 5 free sessions whether it's nursery, pre-school or childminder.

You can come anytime but I'm not having you put yourself out atm. You're not well and too stressy. I see it in every post. You need a break. If you're coming it's for a holiday. I'm a SAHM, any day but Thursday is fine. Poor L and M. If I was nearer, I'd have them for a day for you each week. Send 'em back full of lentils and smelling of patchouli.

Not even commenting on AM's blardy figure. She's disgustingly beautiful.

So, Center Parcs. When? Which one?

February? Cheap then. Something to look forward to after Crimbo.

Scoot - definitely up for doing something on 15th Nov. Poor L and M. They do play 'pass the baton' with these bugs. By the time they get to school their immune systems will be second to none. L too.

I'm already going to CP in Feb, but in half term week, so would still be able come and meet all of you that month.

AM's figure is fabulous. Sickening, really.

I am stressy.You are right.I would be no company at all.Im really really upset that the girls are going to have to go to someone/somewhere other than the CM they know and love.(no ones fault as she had to take on other kids when Mum was having ours, and its not fair to rely on parents to the extent that we have been)But I think it will have a really negative effect on them being elsewhere, it will be a real organisational nightmare for us and also it will cost us yet more money we havent got.I feel quite panicky now.And the real fucker of it is that I dont want them to have to be looked after.I want to do it myself.My Mum worked all the time when I was little and I think it it didnt do me any good at all.And now im having to do the exact same thing to my lovely girls who really dont deserve it.
Honestly its the last straw.

How awful of me would it be to NOT go into the customers Halloween party tonight at work?I should go really..I dont trust the staff to make it any fun for them.But I really dont feel like it..

Elveden forest please.

Elveden Forest would be great for me too.

Scoot - if it's any consolation (which I know it's not), L loves nursery, she really does. And I know how you feel, I wish she didn't have to go either, but she loves playing with all the toys and they do things with her that I would never dream up. It's not ideal, but you are with them 4 days a week (counting weekends), it's not like you 'work all the time'. Needs must my love, you are not abandoning them, you are going to work to provide for them.

Now bin off the customers party and come to MY party instead.

I must sign off now my lovelies and go home and watch tv prep for my party.

Scoot - you know I'm on the other end of the phone if you want someone to shout/cry/vent at.

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET'S JUST BOOK CP!

3 days..and not even that as have to go into work pretty much every other weekend now..

looks up from behind snotty handkerchief

Yes to Calpol and Nurofen. You can give them at the same time even as they're different ingredients but spacing them out means they're pain free and have reduced fever for longer. As long as you observe the dosage of each and minimum time between giving each one. So 4hrly Calpoly and 6hrly Nurofen afaik but doesn't matter how they relate to each other. Does that make sense?

Scoot, my Dad worked for years doing what you are doing. He had to stop in the end. His staff didn't have the committment or ability to respond to the needs of the customers and it started to affect him. He had no free time. Is it still making you happy? Can you change it? Reduce your days? Job share? I think how unhappy you are about leaving your girls is worsened by your current unhappiness about work. You give give give and receive little back. Apart from illness and worry. I sense that you're crying out for a big change in your circumstances. You're making yourself poorly. That is certainly not good for your littlies as they will be run down and stressy too.

SOH is right (as ever!), Scoot, about the changes needed. When is DH going to be fully qualified? Can you think of either giving up work then, or going down to 2 days a week or something?

In the mean time, bear in mind that you can keep your CM for the days you have her and send them elsewhere for the other day or two. It sounds like madness, but isn't necessarily. It doesn't matter in logistical terms, if you're dropping them one place one day and another the next, provided they're both at the same place, on the same day. Nursery might be good for them - a little social life. A has now finally settled at the CM/ Nursery (there are about 9 kids, so quite like nursery) and jumps out of my arms to go in in the morning. Lots of people have their older children at a school nursery some days and at a childminder for the rest of the week, so not really much different for your two.

I can't believe you were accosted by an environ-"mentalist" like that. Only thing I can say is at least she wasn't a 4x4 basher for the sake of it (like Ken Livingston). Blardy hell. It's not quite as right on round here. You can't move for giant Volvos in the M&S car park. They all vote Lib Dem, but they live like Tories.

Yes but Stokey is full of militant lesbians (nowt against lesbians, I practically am one when I see PJ, but militant ones are annoying )Do you know,I heard there are more lesbians per head in Stokey then in anywhere else in mainland Britain.I wonder why that is?Its no different to anywhere else geographically or anything.

DH will be fully qualified in March if he passes these last exams and the case study paper in March..then we can look at me changing job to something more part time (not my job now as cant do it any more psrt time than I am) or to me not working at all..Actually from a monetary point of view would ideally work for 6 months or so more just so we can consolidate our financial position a bit.(part of the issue is that I get paid very well for my job and when you get sued to living with that salary you get dependent on it-sadly our mortgage is huge and DH is in
great debt from his uni days and our early years in London when he did not practice much restraint, which takes up most of the wages but still..)
From a life point of view my notice would ideally be going in as soon as he gets his exam results.
I cant job share or cut back on my hours any more, becuase we cant afford it, but also becuause I couldnt do the job..as a Registered Manager you have to be there, in the service (in two places for me hence huge stress)for a large percentage of the time.
The non exisitant skill set of the staff is an issue and a frustration but thats a care thing.I went into social care with my eyes open to that and with a will to make it better,almost a vocation if that doesnt sound too wanky.Now I guess thats compromised because its not my priority anymore (being home with the girls is), and also because there is more to do in my current role and with my current services than I can physically do in the 4 days I work.

I feel as if Im not doing a good job at home,like im not doing a good job at work, knackered and just sad I think, that life isnt working out how I pictured it (though had no reason to picture I would be at home with the kids,in a house I really like etc, other than total naivety)

One solution to the CM is that she may be able to have them Monday afternoons..I would work late on a Mon,be off with them in the morning, drop them at lunch and DH would have to leave work at a reasonable hour and pick them up, Weds Thurs they went to her anyway and that isnt changing.Friday is my day off.So..Anyone free to have two lovely little girls of a Tuesday..?
I will ring round some nurseries..I guess it wouldnt be the worst thing.It just seems like more upheaval for them and I feel dreadful about it.

Sorry to be such a moaner today..I need to get a grip.Thanks for listening to me whine..

Had better go and carve our Pumpkin before Trick or Treaters start coming at Sundown.I will have to open the door to them.DH is frightened of anything he considers to be related to the Occult.(He is a total sissy)

Best not introduce him to S, the Wiccan, then!

Or move to Ireland for that matter, where the word for the month of November is Samhain - the word which pagans use for Hallowe'en time.

Funnily enough, the word for December is Mí na Nollaig, or, Month of Christmas. Pagan, Christian; contrary lot, the Irish.

I know how you feel about not doing a "good job" anywhere. Accept that the next few months are going to be crap and let the unimportant stuff go. Use the time to discuss with DH where your lives are headed after March and plan for it. If you're planning for a brighter future, the present doesn't seem so dark.

BTW, "vocation" doesn't sound wanky. It exactly describes what you do. I couldn't do it, so I very much admire those who can.

Crikey.Am lucky to discuss what to have for dinner with DH at the moment without a row.I hope we dont get to the end of what has been a tough three years and realise we are just resentful strangers.Not sure we like each other at the moment!Sigh.This too will pass.Stay calm and carry on.(I hope DH is getting me a framed poster with that on for my birthday..you can get them from this company called Pedlar, they are ex air raid advice posters, I love them.They also sell little wind up Grannys with walking frames that you can race )

What is S doing for Halloween then?Witch type stuff?DH would have a fit In our old house which was built in 1656, we had a huge inglenook fireplace and there was a pattern in the old soot at the back that looked exactly like a babies face.I used to wind him mercilessly that I thought I could hear a baby crying and it seemed to be coming from the fireplace.I used to catch him looking at it fearfully when he thought I wasnt looking.I am mean I know.But he is an easy target over all things other wordly..

It will pass. Just try to keep the lines of communication open, even if you aren't actually using the lines much.

DH's sister gave him one of those posters to hang at work. I think she said those particular ones weren't used, but were to be put up if the Germans actually landed. It's a good mantra for you for the next few months.

S is having a couple of mates over. I said she was too old for trick or treating. Ruins it for the kiddies if people are afraid of opening the door in case there's a gang of teenagers standing there.

I've uploaded a couple of pics to my profile, but do you think the one of the kids in their outfits will load up? No, of course not.

Spent four long hours at soft play today. it actually wasn't too bad and now R is more independent i could actually sit and chat to the two friends I had met. Since we came back however, she has been a total nightmare. Every time we have time off together she gets really, really clingy, to the point where I can't even leave the room without her screaming. C tries so hard bless him to placate her but only Mummy will do. She is screaming right now even though C has put a Tweenies dvd on for her. She can see me, I am about 4 feet away from her but she is so stubborn she won't even walk over here to get on my knee. I am just as stubborn, so I won't go and get her.
We have had our first lot of trick or treaters already, it's not even dark yet ffs. They must have only been about 2 and 3. They had a grown up with them but I still find it hard to believe they haven't got anything better to do. Personally i don't agree with it and my kids will never do it. I don't mind Hallowe'en parties, it's not the Hallowe'en part i dislike just the knocking on complete strangers doors and begging!!
Scoot the weekend you're up here, I'm going down the country a bit. We're away for the weekend with a group of friends at a cottage near Ely. Typical isn't it, I will meet one of you, one day......

It's not really an English tradition is it, Trick or Treat? It's a huge thing in Ireland.

When i was little I remember the odd one or two used to do it but now we get hundreds every year. I always buy a few little bags of sweets or lollies but last year I had run out by about 5.30. I've bought about 20 lollies this year which I figure will go early to the littlies with parents which I don't mind soo much. C has not shown any interest in it thank goodness, but dh feels the same as me so they've got no chance when they're older. C is actually really scared of anything like that so I don't like opening the door when he's still up.

I'm going Trick or Treating in the village. If they don't give me gingerbread a treat, I'll show them my stretchmarks.

Friday night, just me and the littlie again. Same tomorrow night. Might have a go at writing a chapter. Might eat sweets and watch QI.

I let M into one of those soft play things last recently when I was having lunch with DH's grandma. She went beserk, elbowing 5yr olds out of her way and flinging herself down the slides. No fear. M that is. DH's grandma's more restrained. I've seen her after a glass or two though. She's feisty.

Never had trick or treaters here. Never been and done it myself either.

Being as Christmas has been cancelled this year by Norfolk Constabulary we're celebrating St Nick's day instead. Suits us well actually as my Dad is Orthodox Christian and St Nick's important to him. It's more about sharing and food than Christmas Day and I'm happy for people to share food with me.

last week/recently, I don't fecking know.

Is JaffaBiffa there AM?

Oh TYG meant to ask. Can S pronounce coven? I used to be fascinated by wiccan culture before I became a buddhist and used to be highly amused by the trendies at school who pronounced coven the way they did in American witchy cult films whilst wearing red lipstick and powdering their faces. She must get it right. Tis Very Important.

Scoot, I scared dh very much indeed once with a ghost type thing. Won't explain as it makes me sound a bit odd.

Er, she says Cuh-ven. How is it supposed to be said?

Spot on. Strange American teen movies say cohvern, all drawn out and wrong.