May 07: The one where SOH gets her tweed clothes and LG&T doesn't get any...

[ShowOfHands]

New thread...

Cute AM. Really cute, but what are they looking at? Is it a poor enchanted soul? Did they have a good time?

Give MrsJB a squeeze from me when she arrives.

Erm i'm not sure, will try and get better pictures tomorrow with the jaffa kiddies.

I will give her a massive squeeze for you. Now am i allowed to ever have your telephone number.....?

Er, I'm very shy. I don't come across well on the phone, but you can have my number if you desperately want it. I say er a lot and gabble on about rubbish. Same as on here perhaps. Hang on will fb...

Jam, asking to talk to someone at the birthing centre sounds like a good idea. You can only try for the birth you want. It's great that you have the birthing centre option, I wish the Whittington did though I'm also quite nervous about all the intervention possibilities, and worried about being pushed into something because of my age/weight.

Being strapped to the bed for 2.5 days does soundlike a pretty negative experience.

Have you considered getting a doula again?

Hope that things go how you want them to this time.

Thanks for that girls have had a bit of a chat with DP and I do want to really pop No.2 out at the birthing center. So am going to phone them tom morning and ask if they could just talk me through my fears. I dont think I would be able to get my notes seeing as I dont live in the same county any more and not really sure that that would be the way to go I think I just need a bit of a confidence booster that the same will not happen again.

Jam--It sounds like the birth center is the best place for you to be as they aren't going to push you to have the same birth you had with A.

Definitely talk it over with them. They may be able to talk to about what they would do in the same circumstances so you know you won't get the same treatment.

Oh Jam, I think it is natural to get all nervous second time round as you are more aware of what will or could happen. The birth centre sounds like a great place. I agree with SOH that you need to put A's birth away and not dwell on it (are you taking your own advice young Fiona?). In my experience each birth is totally different. Be clear in your mind what you want to happen this time and stand your ground, it's your body, your birth, your baby. A doula is perhaps an expensive option but could you go to the birth centre and meet the team of midwives, explain your fears and your desires and then make sure when you go in for the delivery that you state from the beginning how you would like it to be. I'm sure this time round will be a whole different experience for you.

Jam please do what they have all been telling you. Request your notes and go through them with a lovely midwife ( i'm available )

The birth center does sound like a great option. The midwives there will be more open and rehearsed in taking the natural route. There are no two births the same. You must remember that, A had extenuating circumstances and tbh with having your first baby like that i think you did a grand job refuting all section talk. This time will be faster and you will be more in control.

There is a certain amount of fear that grips you when you have your first contraction and realise you are going to have to do it all again BUT it is also empowering because you know what to expect. Fear of the unknown is worse than anything.

There may be moments when you lose it during labour, brief dh of this. They are just moments and you need him to be strong and firm with what you want. Flippin eck i wish i could hold your hand. I will be your doula.

Yes Fiona are you taking your own advice on board?

CM nice to see you, wondered where you where.

AM the pics are sooo sweet. Give MrsJB a sqidge, how long is she staying with you?

MKG can you FB me your address please

TYG would be lovely to see you and the little ones, a couple of weeks staring at the 4 walls and i will be desperate for company.

The poo is still yuk. I have had enough of it.

I did get my hair done last night though! Booked a late app, it was a record. It took 4 hours She put a full head of foils on then a treatment and cut it. I am soooo pleased. It has been 8 months since i was there!

MrsJB is just here for 1 night. I am the half way point between Birmingham and Bournemouth.

Oooh we need to see pictures, actually if you are around later perhaps we can get on webcam?

Sorry B still has the poo, i hope it dries up soon for you

Fiona giving her phone number out, eh? Well I never!

Jam - no advice here as obv I had the CS, which I controversially thought was great. But sending you lots of love and hugs. FWIW, I know a midwife who works at a birthing centre and she just loves it, she says it is a wonderful environment.

AM - pics so sweet. I wish L would let me put bobbles in her hair. Mainly it just hangs in her eyes. Drives me mad. Are you queuing for TT tickets yet?

LG&T - still with the poo? Blimmin' heck. I am having my hair done on 8th November, what have you had done? I am wondering whether to go blonde again. I need a change, you know. Although when I was blonde, I clearly had a LOT more time on my hands. And money.

L's rash is still with us. Seems to be moving from one arm to the other and then back again. She is fine though, albeit full of cold. Again.

I am so excited about my night out next weekend. Friends and I are staying in Manchester for the night and have booked a Karaoke pod in Tiger Tiger, then onto the Birdcage for gay fun and frivolity. I know some of you would rather stick pins in your eyes than do that, but I jsut can't wait to get ready at the hotel, glass of wine in hand, with all my mates.

Tonight I am throwing a halloween party, so am on holiday this afternoon making mini pavolvas and flapjack. Mum is making a pan of hotpot scouse.

Taking what advice? Listening to whom? I don't need to heed my own words as I am not having any more. I'm deadly serious. I'm looking to private steralisation. No need to worry about something that will never happen.

Having your hair cut eats away at your soul a little bit. It's the sinking feeling as you sit in front of those glaring unforgiving mirrors that the 17 year old twitterer who is fiddling with your hair- whilst simultaneously chewing gum and wittering on about how Barbados with Nico was so much better than Benidorm with Kier- doesn't care about how important it is to you to look halfway decent post-baby. That the ability to sculpt your lank and lifeless locks into something sembling attractive might be the highlight of your day. No, she is thinking God this woman is old, look at her, late 20s, podgy stomach, grey face, doesn't take care of herself, blob of unidentified breakfast stuff on her shoulder, she's beyond hope. The lights glare down, the smell of coconut seeps into your nostrils, the distant buzz of a hairdryer drones through your head tickling at the edge of what hopefully might be a tension headache but is probably a migraine. The twittering goes on. She talks about product and hair care routine, you stare at a wrinkle you hadn't noticed before today. A group of girls come in who are going on a hen night and want something 'funky' (read ridiculous). They glance round the room and dismiss you. You're old. You have crap hair. Wrinkles. And porridge on your shoulder. And you're paying for this experience.

Today, I have to phone the hairdresser and book an appointment. I fecking hate it. Just the phone call puts me in a bad mood "And what will madam be requiring twitter twitter?". I want to sit in silence, I don't want to look in a mirror and I want to be 17 again.

Morning all.

Just been for a run.

Pancakes and fruit for breakfast.

Thanks for that, Fiona. Now I'm depressed.

Shut it. I'm talking about me. You're stunning and have beautiful well-cared for hair. I'll tell you a secret. When you were planning to come to LG&T's at the same time as me I got a bit silly and asked dh not for fall in love with you. I think I wailed 'she's so beautiful' at him. You see I did worry about him falling in love with Ma Larkin too but he quickly developed a bit of a man crush on N and his gay sailor type looks so I was saved. You're all inordinately pretty. And slim. And Jam's got that lovely accent to go with it. And LG&T's got the edge of being a bit you know, lesbian . TYG I imagine to have a wonderful lilt.

Oh, to explain, I'm talking myself into becoming gay so I don't have to procreate anymore.

Oh for god's sake. That is a big pile of shit. Ask AM how attractive I looked pacing up and down her kitchen in my PJs at 2am.

And I'm a size 14. Not slim.

Now as an only myself, I don't see anything wrong with being an only. As long as it's for the right reasons. My mum says, 'Why did we need to have another one? We got everything we wanted when we had you.' Which I suspect it not true, buy hey ho.

Find a hairdresser older than you are.

Jam - I have nothing new to add really. Can only reiterate that second labours and births are so different to the first. Apart from anything else, your body remembers what it's doing. With S I had a 16 hour labour, back to back baby and an epidural and with A I had a 5 hour labour at home, no drugs and a water birth. The main differences was that with #1, I was in a hospital being "told" what to do and was feeling "medicalised" by being in hospital in the first place. Also being young and not realising that I even had a say in it. With #'s 2 and 3, I was in a comfortable environment and just did what felt right. Even 2 and 3 were different. With A I spent my labour rocking on my hands and knees, with O I got into that position and instantly "knew" it felt wrong, but sitting on the birthing ball with legs wide apart and leaning into DH felt right. I was listening to myself and it worked and I'm sure it's because I knew I'd done it before (albeit with an epidural), but I had still pushed a baby out before, as have you.

I'm lucky, I still had a pretty good experience the first time, but that was luck. The other times I was more "empowered". Bit of a yuk word, but it's true. In fact, I was most in control with A, having done the hypnobirthing classes beforehand. Worth considering, even at this late stage.

I think going and talking to a midwife at the birthing centre is a great idea. I really think you'll feel so much better.

SOH - I would be horrified if any surgeon agreed to it so soon after a traumatic birth experience, sorry. You're only just coming to terms with that. I think you need to give yourself more time before embarking on a life changing decision like that. I know you're an intelligent, grown woman who is perfectly capable of knowing her own mind, but I worry so much that you could change your mind in a couple of years. For example, if you're home schooling M, you might start to think that she'd really benefit from having a sibling around. You never know. G&T - with her 7th on the way, you can pretty much see where she's coming from!
Hope you don't mind me saying that. It's an op that really worries me. And besides, if anyone is going to do it, it should be DH. Simple op, fewer possible complications and usually reversible.

I said all that in a wonderful lilt by the way.

Unfortunately the lilt doesn't really distract from the size 16 body, smothered in stretchmarks. Ah well.

Did I mention I ate a whole box of Raffaello chocolates yesterday? Oops. Somewhat defeats the purpose of the training. It's my weakness for coconut. Shouldn't have gone to the supermarket whilst hungry.

You don't need any more Bounty cake in the post then TYG

I agree with her up there btw, get an older hairdresser. Mine is lovely, round very blonde but very attractive. She has a litle boy called Mason, he is chocolate coloured and adorable. Big affro and everything. The hairdresser is where you go to make yourself feel better about yourself. It should be a treat. You get to read whatever you like for an hour or so and have someone wash your hair and massage the conditioner in ooooh heaven.

Now stop being so self deprecating. You are in fact an attractive gel yourself you know, you have just forgotten. M is not a tiny baby anymore, you ahve been out running and slimmed down to the pre baby size something many of us are still struggling to do.

LOL at you telling J not to fancy me, i said the same to N! I nfact we have N's best mate come to stay quite a bit and i always > a little as his current GF is slim and pretty, no stretch marks...

TYG is hot btw, if you fancy a lesbian romp i would go for her. Just a little idle advice

They wont sterilise you after one baby and being in your twenties. You always wanted a big family, i know you did. You need to get over this block and have another. I promise to hold your hand.

Pink they put lots of chunky foil highlights through it, 3 different shades of blonde so it does not look like a block of colour growing out. I had about 2-3 inches cut off too. It was so dry and brittle on the ends. I have straightened it now and it feels like i have new hair

Scoot is my secret girlfriend. I'm claiming her in the name of May 07.

Sounds gorgeous LG&T. Mine is curly at the mo, found a fabulous new mousse yesterday and it looks nice, but you know when you just feel like a change?

Doubt any of you would want to date me. I have nice feet if that helps. Otherwise fairly plain. I'm hoping me and Jam can bond over birth experiences, glance up at each other through the tears and just realise what we secretly knew all along. Oh and that accent. We'll keep pigs and chickens and wear wellies. Aah a modern love story.

You'd go a long way to find nice feet. I fear L has inherited her father's trotters. Which are not good. I doubt open toed shoes will be a good look for her.

Oh and Abby Great Yarmouth is only up the road. You should have said. Sky recently went to Wells too where I spend a lot of time. No bugger comes to see me though. I'm only up the road.

Adoption. I'm thinking adoption.

Or pigs.

Pigs are stinky.