Sorry to hear you are ill. Bloody lucky you got your permy job when you did
Feel shite but I went to the gym this morning. Reactivated it after, ooh, 9 months. Of course, when I got there, they hadn't reactivated it as they are a bunch of incompetent twats who can't manage to implement their own procedures. What a bunch of fuck-wits.
Then, DP calls me to say "Why isn't this farking PC working?" "Is the yellow cable plugged in?" "Yes" he says getting shirty. "OK, I'll bastard-well come home". So stomp all the way home, not getting what I needed at the shops, doing what I needed to do (like having a fucking break away from children/house for one fucking hour).
"BOTH ends of the yellow cable needs to be plugged in, dear DP, one goes in the router, the other SHOULD NOT BE DANGLING DOWN WILLY-NILLY ".
The word gobshite springs to mind.