Oct 2007; This little piggie had loads of roast beef and ^This^ little piggie would have none of it!

[Dalrymps]

Psst over here!

Just a quickie, been in hospital with Shannon today. she was listless, hot and wanted to be held this morning, then started grunting as she breathed and it didn't stop, so rang NHS Direct, then my docs, couldn't get her in for 3 hours so took her to A&E. She was seen by the triage nurse, then the doc, whot hen wanted a peadiatrician to see her, who still wasn't happy about her breathing so then we had to wait for the registrar who sent her for a chest x ray as the grunting is a sign of pneumonia, it was clear so they've sent us home. I've never seen her so poorly, it really is horrible, she's in bed now and i'm not going to be far behind her in case she wakes in the night. We where meant to be going to the local fair but obviously didn't so dd1 feels a bit gutted, hopefully we'll go tomorrow if Shannon perks up.

Sorry for the me me post, thought i should just let you all know!

hope everyones ok xx

How horrible for you J20 - I hope you see a big improvement tomorrow. Poor Shannon

Sorry you are poorly Apricot - hope you also feel better soon.

Thanks for the thoughts about the interview but I don't even have a glimmer of hope over this one - I was really awful! Just got to learn from it I guess - it's all good practice. I just wish there were more jobs around right now.

ok...advice appreciated girls....before Dh gets home I need to decide how to tackle this problem I have with MIL babysitting...Tonight my Mum for once couldn't sit with Alex while I was teaching (Weds is my only busy night)Dh insisted that he couldnt miss his badminton night (despite the fact that he has been working away the past 2 nights)so "couldn't" babysit his son so asks his mum...who is lovely but really doesnt believe in our potty/cloth nappy regime...we have a routine that means Alex gets placed on his potty after every meal or snack or nap, in other words about every 2 hours or so...I had pottied/changed him at 4pm but I started work at 5pm while Alex was still enjoying a late nap, mil arrived after so I dont know what dh told her to do, but when I finished at 8pm Alex had been awake since 5.30, had eaten the dinner I had left in the steamer for him (but not been given his desssert from the fridge)and had not been changed since I had last done it 4 hours previously he was sopping wet through (leaked through the wrap and soaked his vest, tshirt and trousers) and dirty ..something we have not had since he had the s&d bug 3 weeks ago...his bottom is bright red from sitting in it .....If this was the first time I could cope, but at Dhs insistance she babysat for 3 hrs on Friday (I only needed her for 1 but she wanted to have a time with all her grandsons)and without warning me to wrap him up, took them to the park (it was freezing !) in a light weight buggy, no cosy toes, wearing a light fleece coat and shorts (but it was "ok", she put her coat round his legs ...for 3 hours!)and again she didnt change him...I had left her some disposables because she thinks cloth is "too complicated" but she left him in a cold wet cloth nappy for 3 hours out in the freezing parkand didnt bring him back to me for his usual dinner time because "we had an egg buttie picnic"....so an egg buttie is a good substitute for poached salmon and vegetables and apple crumble and custard?
Dh has been going on about how my mum gets all the contact with Alex and his parents only see him once a week (my mum travels 25 miles each way to us 3 times a week, his parents dont even pop in when they live just 4 miles away, we have to go to them on saturday nights)...and I will admit that Alex barely recognises them but greets my mum with delight ... but if mil will not follow our routine even when I have explained it to her (must admit that I dont know what dh told her tonight but I did tell her on Friday and she chose to do what she wanted anyway) ...so what do I do? Refuse to let her have him at all? Get petty and insist that unless she follows our routine she can't baby sit? or lighten up and stop being so precious about my routine, what is a few hours in a dirty nappy or a few more weeks using nappies in the grand scheme of things?

Oh J20! I took so long to write my rant I xposted. I'm so sorry Shannon is so poorly...how very frightening and terrible for you both...I hope she is ok.

Sympathies FT-not sure what the answer is tbh, ideally, you should stand your ground and insist that she follows your routine, but practically (as i well know, as nobody my own mother being the worst offender sticks to my routine) i'm not sure how enforcable it is. Hate to say it, but as long as you make sure that she must change him or he gets sore, then maybe try and grin and bare it re the other things. Its bloody annoying though.

Ugh FT what a nightmare. I really don't think you are being unreasonable though - leaving a baby in a soaking wet and dirty nappy is cruel. And it isn't like you haven't compromised by saying she can use disposables if she is not confident with the cloth nappies. Not changing him out of a dirty nappy means she isn't taking care of him properly. He's your son and having time with him is a privilege not a right. I hope you can make DH see sense!

Thanks girls...I'd got my knickers in such a twist I was beginning to wonder if I had lost all sense of perspective. Dh is only just back from badminton so not a good time to brooch the subject...I'll have a serious word with him in the morning.
Sleep well all

just read through Floria and I would agree with J20 a missed mummy meal every so often isn't great (when you've cooked it especially) but not too bad but she must change him if he is wet. He cannot be returned to you soaking wet or dirty.

Must run now as I've got the school run to do but will think about it in the car as MIL grumbles are always the hardest to negotiate with dh's.

be back later if I have thought of anything of use but will be back later anyway

love to all
xxxx

Thanks Muppet .alex gave me a particularly bad night last night so I was exhausted and feeling dreadful(I have a chest infection at the moment that is making me wheeze like a 60 a day smoker)so havent had the chat yet..but we must decide on some plan of action...might be a big chart of "the routine" in the kitchen ..dunno...we'll see.

Just a quickie as have to tidy house for pics from estate agent this pm!!!

J2O hope Shannon is better this pm - it must have been really scary. Sam was in hospital when he was 11 months old with bronchiolitis and it was really scary so I feel for you...

Stefka I will second Apricot that you might not have done as bad as you thought - sometimes people appreciate you being honest and admitting you don't know rather than blagging it. Also you tend to remember the things you were bad at not the good ones. Like you said though either way it's a learing experience...

Apricot hope you're feeling better honey...

Floria I feel for you honey. I was very particular about my routine with Sam and gave my mil about 4 pages with typed instructions on ! Made me feel better and I know she did the important stuff but sure she didn't follow it to the letter. Now I am a lot more chilled. Agree with others who say pick the important bits and go with that and try (although I know it's not easy) to chill about the rest. The egg sarnie is actually absolutely fine - I can understand your frustration if you had prepared a proper meal but it's actually pretty nutritious and as long as he is not hungry feeding him something that she chooses is probably a battle less to have - look on it as a bonus that you don't have to prepare something. I would stand my ground though that she MUST change his nappy. Maybe it would be worth putting him in disposibles though when she has him if you are worried she won't as they absorb more and so he will be less likley to get a sore bum. You know how important the potty thing is to you - i don't know enough about using one in little ones to know how much it might set you back for him to go in his nappy occasionally. This might be the one thing thats worth holding out for if you can relax on the others if it will make a difference. Sorry for waffling - I think my summary is in the nicest way you probably are being a bit precious BUT I was the same with my pfb and so were most people I know. At the end of the day though he is YOUR baby so she should be doing the things that are important to you and if she is not then get dh to have a word as it's important he backs you up on this (especially if the reason she has Alex is so he can go off and play badminton with his mates!!!) I also think it makes a difference if she is deliberately not doing as you ask in which case this is clearly more out of order, or is just not understanding how to do as you ask which can be worked on. Good luck!

OK so as always that post was much longer than anticipated so must fly and tidy before boys wake!!!

J20; How is Shannon today?
Alice; I hope you managed to get the house all shiny and sparkly for the estate agent pics so it flies off hte books and you can start glorious house hunting . Thanks for your input...the buttie thing got my goat last week because I had told her I would be finished at 4pm and would have his dinner ready ...I wasnt intending to sound precious about the nutritional content, just about being ignored, the thing that got me going was not telling me what she would be doing (ie the park)she gave me the impression that she would pick the cousins up in the car not spend 2 hours in the park or I would at least have dressed him in long trousers and a warm coat and probably would have put him in a disposable nappy too. It is the not changing thing yesterday that upset me when all the paraphanalia was within reach
..ooops got to go...dinner at the door

ooh what you having for dinner FT? i'm contemplating gettinbg chinese, as i'm starving! Shannon has stopped the grunting type breathing but is still off, she is very hot but i don't have a reliable thermomator so have just tried to keep her topped up with calpol. we went to the local faitr this afternoon with my Dad, who never really bothered with us as kids, but has been making a real effort with us lately, he bought dd1 (and me) lots of sweet stuff (only as a one off for dd1!) doughnuts, fudge..etc but we never got round to having anything savoury(well i didn't, d1 had a burger and chips), hence me thinking about chinese! anyway, had quite a good time on the scary rides

Alice-hope you got house sorted, check your emails, i messaged you earlier

right, i'm off for a bath then going to look at menus

ooh meant to say FT-are you able to also make it clear that you need to know what mils plans are when she has Alex? or maybe have a little bag acked with warm stuff in it and a disposable, Shannon was quite well wrapped up at the fair, with warm clothes and cosy toes but she was still freezing when i got her out to put in the car, so i bet Alex had been freezing!

Hope Shannon is doing alright J20

Well I didn't get the job but you guys were right in the end - it did not go as badly as I thought. They told me I was a very close second, that I answered all the questions really well, I had a lot of potential and to hang in there because I would be sure to get something soon. I was very surprised. My perception if obviously very skewed because I really did not think it had gone well at all. She said I lost out only because the selected candidate had more experience than I do. It's good for my confidence although a little frustrating because there isn't much I can do about the experience thing when I can't get my foot in the door. The jobs for the week are on the TES site now and there are a grand total of zero jobs in the whole of Scotland in my subject

J20 Sorry Shannon still isnt ok poor darling. Glad the grunting has stopped and dearly hope she improves soon.
Last week mil was going to babysit at our house for just 1 hr (3-4), asked late on if she could pick up his cousins with him, giving the impression that she would take them all to her house and dh could pick Alex up on his way home (he is usually home at 3.30) I dropped him off at 2.30, dh went to hers by 3.30 and waited until 5pm before going to the park to find them.... aarrrggghh...water under the bridge, I would have forgotten about it if she hadn't teed me off yesterday... I'll shut up and get on with my routine planner for the kitchen wall.
We had a curry...trying to scare off this cold/chest infection ...hope you have a good meal too.

Stefka; sorry xposted. Glad the interview went better than you thought....understand your frustration when you need work soon but it is encouraging that you were a close second and perhaps when the next job comes up it will be the one for you....hope one comes up for you soon.

How's Shannon today?

Where is everyone btw?

Those of you who had parties for your bambinos - what did you do about music? Did you have childrens music or normal stuff? Also what did you do about babies eating? Obviously only got one high chair so how did you manage the feeding of other babies?

Latest in the SIL saga. Just got a call from my mum who was meant to be coming to the party on Sunday but then lost her lift. My SIL decided that this was unacceptable and that my father was to bring her and my aunt and gran! This is annoying on so many levels -

1. um hello how dare you start inviting people to my house without checking with me first?
2. I have a shaky relationship with my family - I am getting on well with my parents right now but she doesn't know that but does know the history so totally insensitive of her to do this as I might not have wanted them there.
3. As much as I would love my aunt and gran to come they are really old, it's a four hour round trip and I have no bloody space for extra people and no money incase she's forgotten we are skint and I am already stressed about the money we are going to have to put on the credit card to get some food and drink in.
4. I am sick of her bloody judging me. Just because her DD will have the party of the year and half the world will be there does not mean I am crap mother because I don't want to do that.

Stefka don't let her get to you and ruin the day. Just think about how much fun Dareh is going to have!!

FT - sorry you didn't get the job but at least you got some positive feedback.

J20 - hope Shannon is feeling better.

where is everyone else....

well, we are having Eren's birthday party tomorrow. Its fancy dress and Eren is going to be a big orange pumpkin!! I'm going as the downtrodden cinderella and DH is action man
MIL has made the most amazing birthday cake, i'm loathed to cut it

I'm really looking forward to it.
Hi to everyone else .......... (waves!)

Hi All,

well as you know i lost my uncle on 5th october and have been helping his wife sort out funeral arrangments etc. Well it is going tits up.

My uncle had a daughter with an ex partner 18yrs ago the day he died she had asked him for £600 and he said no, an hour later he was dead. That was sunday, then tuesday I had 25 calls from her asking if she could go through his papers and see if there was a will and what he had left her. My aunt said no as she didn't think it was right yet. She is russian and they mourn for 40 days apparently before they can do these things. The daughter wanted to arrange the funeral but have my aunt pay for it. I explained to my aunt and to the daughter that this is not how things are done and that my aunt should be making the arrangments. The daughter then asked if she could arrange the wake so I asked my aunt, (she understands me when I speak but her english is not all that good to express herself, and she doesn't understand the daughter when she speaks) My aunt said yes and the daughter went and booked a nightclub, to which my aunt said No again and has booked somewhere else. The daughter wanted to do the music and my aunt had already picked what it was to be other than one song which was what the daughter had said she wanted.

Now the daughter says she is not coming to the wake she is having her own one.

I feel so down, I am caught in the middle of it all and am looking the bad guy when I am not.

sorry for the me me me post

OMG I am totally jealous of your fancy dress idea - I wish I had thought of that! I would love to dress Dareh up as a pumpkin!

LES that daughter sounds horrific. I am sorry you are caught in the middle of such a mess.

Hello everyone
Hope Shannon and anyone else who's poorly is feeling better now
FT - hope you can reach a solution with your MIL. I agree with some of the other points - decide what's most important to you and make sure she sticks to that as a first-off - though that's probably easier said than done, as she doesn't sound like a 'listening' type of person! I've had train myself to let go somewhat of what happens to DS when he's at the childminders (we discussed a general routine, but obv that gets varied as the CM has other kids to look after as well), and I think that makes it easier when he's with my MIL (although I'm very lucky and she is very lovely)
Stefka - i hope you manage to get Dareh's party sorted out. How annoying for your SIL to invite other people without asking you - she sounds sooo insensitive
Well, DH is out with the lads, DS is asleep in bed, and I am catching up on the Gilmore Girls, and sorting out thank you cards for all Olly's bday presents. Oh the excitement!! Hope you are all ok x

TLES - so sorry that you are stuck in the middle of such a nightmare situation
Mine - hope your party goes well!

Stefka; we had a carpet picnic...a big blanket, lots of scatter cushions. Paper plates for the mums to get whatever they deemed appropriate for their child. I had kiddie music playing, the TalkFirst cds and a nursery rhyme one on random. Dont worry about not having money to throw at a party, the children wont know any different. I hope you sort out the sil and have a fab time.
Tles;sorry ,no advice. Families are sooo difficult. I hope your situation improves soon too.
Mine; Have a fab party.
Off to bed to nurse this rotten cold.. ..night all